Authors: Sue Brown
“I wish you’d met him,” he says wistfully after he concludes “our” tale.
“He sounds like a nice guy,” I say lamely.
“He was.”
“Do you still want to see him?”
He looks at me then, maybe hearing an edge to my voice. “No,” he says eventually. “I don’t think I’ll see him again.”
I have a decision to make, and it’s now or never. Jack will be gone soon, and I can either say good-bye now or maybe get my closure.
“Do you wanna get out of here?” I ask huskily.
Jack swallows. I can see his Adam’s apple bob up and down. “Yeah,” he says.
We leave, and he waves at Doug as we go. Doug rolls his eyes and makes him promise to return before he goes home.
“Where can we go?” he asks.
That makes me hesitate. I could take him back to my place, but it’s something I haven’t discussed with Mary and Sylvia. I know Mary had said it was okay for me to bring a boyfriend back but in their eyes I’ve only just met Jack. I don’t know how they would feel about me bringing him back so soon. I need to talk to Mary.
I look at Jack. “I can’t bring you back—not yet.”
He nods. “I’m the same.” He laughs. “Perhaps we should have stayed at the pub.”
“We could always find a quiet corner,” I suggest.
“The park?”
No, definitely not there. Strangely enough, I don’t want to take Jack to the place I had with Harry—even though they’re one and the same person.
“I know a place we can go,” I say. And I lead him around the streets until we reach the edge of the common. There’s a bench by the river that’s normally used by couples wanting to make out, and sure enough, it’s occupied, but further along the river is another bench. Not many people venture that far along in the dark. I hold out my hand and guide him along the path.
I can’t see his expression in the dark, but I can hear his amusement when he asks if we’re going far as he didn’t bring his night-vision goggles.
“Geek.”
“Nothing wrong with being a geek,” he counters.
“I thought you were a jock.”
“As I said, not by choice.”
We reach the bench and sit down. I turn to ask if I can kiss him, and then he’s all over me, straddling my thighs on the bench. I have to hang on to him to make sure he doesn’t fall off.
Our mouths meet, clumsy and off-center in the dark, but it doesn’t matter. What matters is that for the first time in more than a year, I feel like I’m home again. I wonder if he feels the same way.
Jack pulls back, dragging in air with a shaky breath. “Fuck,” he manages. “Fuck.”
“No lube,” I point out.
“Who cares? Use spit if you have to.”
It’s tempting, but I’m damned sure his ass is still virgin. I don’t know why I’m sure, but I am, and there’s no way I’m popping his cherry without plenty of lube.
“Not tonight. I need a bed to fuck in.”
“Old man,” he teases.
I push my hips up, sliding my dick along his denim-covered ass. I’m hard, and even with the clothing, there’s no way he can’t feel it. “Old man?”
He doesn’t answer immediately. He’s busy unzipping my coat and then finding his way under the jumper I’m wearing. His hands are freezing cold.
My shriek echoes in the silence. “Ow. You fucker. Get them off me.”
Jack gives a wicked laugh. “A little cold, are they?”
“They’re fucking blocks of ice, you fucking bastard.”
“Stop swearing,” he chides, but he doesn’t remove his hands.
Two can play at that game. “I’m sorry,” I say sweetly and kiss him again. I make sure my mouth is distracting him as I undo his jeans and wrap my equally cold hand around his cock.
His yell of fury more than rivals mine.
“I’m gonna kill you,” he warns.
“No, you’re not.” Because my now less cold hand is still wrapped around his dick, and despite the momentary flag, the shaft is warm and hard in my grasp. I swipe my thumb over the top, feeling the sticky precome as I smear it over the glans.
Jack whines, thrusting up for more. He’s hanging onto my coat with one hand to keep his balance and has the other on my chest, palm flat, grazing my nipple with a nail.
I can’t decide if I want to suck him or bring him off in my hand. He decides for me, begging me to let him come. Christ,
let
him come. I could keep him like this for hours, begging for it and on the edge. I forget he’s eighteen, desperate, and he shouts as he comes messily all over my hand.
He thunks his head down onto my shoulder as he recovers. I haven’t let go of his dick, and to my surprise, it doesn’t soften. Instead, within a minute he’s moving again, begging softly for more. I can’t lift him off, and the bench isn’t wide enough for us to both sit and kneel.
“Get off me and sit down,” I order, and he does, although he moans when I let go of his dick. Then I’m on my knees, praying there are no needles or other nasty surprises on the ground, and I suck him down to the root. With the edge taken off, I can lick and suck Jack to another tumultuous climax. His prick is heavy in my mouth, and his sac full and tight. He’s begging again, soft words I can’t quite hear. I hear one word clearly, though, as his shaft hardens impossibly more in my mouth and then fills my mouth with come.
“Danny!”
I swallow and sit up, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand. “David. Not Danny.”
“Huh?” His voice is ragged and heavy.
“My name is David.”
Jack sits up straight. “Fuck! I’m sorry. I didn’t mean…. I know it’s you.”
I place my hands on his thighs, thickly muscled and a fucking turn-on. “Don’t do this with me as a substitute for him, okay?”
“I’m not. Honestly, David, I just….” I feel him squirm. “I just feel the same way about you that I did about him. Really comfortable. Shit! I’m a teenager and I sound like my dad.”
I chuckle to relieve the tension. “It’s okay. I feel the same way too. Just don’t be calling me the wrong name too many times.”
“Promise. Now, what about you?”
What about me? Oh.
Oh!
Oh yeah, I could do with a hand. I stand up and take his hand to wrap around my cock.
He leans forward to suck my cock, but I pull away.
“No, don’t.”
“You don’t want me to blow you?” he asks, sounding hurt.
“Not without a rubber. You… uh… you don’t know where I’ve been.”
“You didn’t use one for me,” he points out.
Fuck, this is awkward. “Did I make the wrong decision?” I ask, going on the offensive.
There is silence, and then he says, “No.”
“Then jack me off and next time we’ll get supplies.”
Bringing me off doesn’t take long. I close my eyes and feel my orgasm coiling in the pit of my back. His technique is as sloppy and awkward as I remember, but it’s
his
hand around my dick, and
his
mouth pressed against my belly.
The only sounds are our harsh breaths as I come, spilling over his hand.
I mouth my love’s name into the night. He can’t hear and he’ll never know.
“Harry.”
Chapter Thirteen
Boxing Day into December 27, 2003
W
E
PART
eventually, after the cold threatens frostbite to delicate areas of the body. But not before I press Jack up against a wall and wank him so slowly he is almost crying with need.
He leaves me with a promise of bringing supplies if I clear it with Mary. That’s one conversation I’m not looking forward to having. He also leaves me with a hickey on my neck. When I look at it the next morning, I sigh. I don’t have any clothes that will cover the dark bruise, and sure enough, as soon as I walk in Mary’s kitchen, she fixes her gaze on my neck.
“Good night?” she asks.
I grunt, and pull out the twenty-pound note. “Here, I didn’t use it last night.”
“Keep it,” she says as she pours herself a cup of tea. “You’ll probably need it again.”
I sit down at the table, and she sits opposite me. I can see the curiosity written all over her face.
“What?” I ask.
“You haven’t told me whether it was a good night or not.”
“We went to the Victoria,” I say.
“I haven’t been there in years. My friend Betty goes there every Thursday lunchtime before bingo. Says there’s a nice barman there—Doug something or other.”
“I met him. He used to be a friend of Jack’s mum, and he’s the landlord, not just the barman.”
“Then what did you do? You got in so late.”
I’m not fooled by the innocent expression on her face. The woman wants to know what we did and she means to find out.
“We went down by the river.” I say.
She looks at my neck again. “I can see he was busy.”
I look at her steadily. “I didn’t fuck him for money.” I’m gratified by the horrified expression on her face.
“I didn’t think you had,” she exclaims.
“Didn’t you?”
“No!”
“You thought about it, though.”
She sighs and nods. “It’s happened before. A couple of the girls tried to conduct their
business
out of here. I asked them to leave when they didn’t stop.” She smiles at me. “But you and Jack have history, don’t you?”
“Yeah.”
“Yes,” Mary says primly. “Tell me about it?”
It’s a suggestion, not an order. I bite my lip. “You probably know most of it. Danny met Harry, in the park, about eighteen months ago.”
She grins. “It sounds like that film—what was it?”
I frown. “Film?”
“I know it. It’s on the tip of my tongue.” Mary clicks her fingers. “
When Harry Met Sally
! That’s it! Lovely film. Meg Ryan was very cute, and I’ve always liked Billy Crystal.”
At my puzzled expression, she sighs. “I guess it’s another one before your time. Anyway, you met him in the park. Were you living there then?”
I nod. “Yeah… yes. Harry was one of the kids that walked through the park on the way to school. He was being bullied by the other kids. I had no idea he was having problems.” I’m ashamed of that. Ashamed to admit I’d let a kid suffer because I avoided Joe and George.
Mary reaches over to squeeze my hand. “I understand. The kids probably gave you a hard time as well?”
“Some did. Most didn’t even know I was there. I was very good at being invisible.”
“So what happened?”
“I saw two of the kids beat him up and went to stop it. One of them had a knife.”
Mary looked at me when I didn’t say anymore. “He was very lucky you were there. What happened then?”
“Nothing, really. Harry was more pissed that I’d interfered, in case the boys went after him again. Then he came to find me a couple of days later with a McDonald’s as a thank-you.”
“There isn’t a McDonald’s in town.”
“I know. He had his mum drive to Guildford to get one.”
“Why did he do that?”
“Because I told him to bring me a McDonald’s next time he was in the park.”
She smiles. “You should have asked for a pizza.”
I shake my head. “I don’t like pizza that much.”
“Then what happened?” Mary gets up to pour herself some more tea, and then sits down to hear my answer.
I look at her steadily. “You have a lot of questions.”
“You don’t have to answer them,” she points out.
That’s true, but she knows I’m going to anyway. “He kept coming back. Usually with food. I told him to leave me alone, but he wouldn’t.”
“Did anything else happen?” Her expression made it clear what she meant.
“Sort of. Not much. He was sixteen.”
“You were only eighteen.”
“And homeless.”
“But something happened?”
“He told me he was gay. Like I hadn’t worked that out for myself. He asked me to kiss him. I refused.”
“Why? Didn’t you like him?”
“I was skanky. I didn’t bathe or clean my teeth. I wasn’t going to let his first kiss be from someone like me.”
“What did he say?”
“He brought me a toothbrush, toothpaste, and mouthwash.”
Mary burst out laughing. “Now I’ve met Jack, I can see him doing that.”
I gave her a wry smile. “Yeah, it’s just the sort of thing he’d do.”
“So?”
“So I cleaned up and gave him his first kiss.”
“Was it good?”
“None of your business,” I say easily.
“I suppose not,” she admits. “Is that all?”
“No, but we didn’t do much more.” I wasn’t going to tell her what we
did
do. “I got to meet his mum, and Harry insisted on looking after me. Then one day he wasn’t there anymore. No more food, no more kisses, nothing else until two days ago, when he returned as Jack looking for Danny.”
“And you are David.”
“I am David.”
“You should tell him.”
“No.” A flat-out no. It isn’t up for discussion.
“Hmmm.” She makes that noise that tells me she thinks I’m being an idiot.
“You don’t understand. Danny is dead. David doesn’t come with history. He’s not damaged goods. Jack will only be around for another few days, and then I’ll never see him again. Let me be David.”
Mary nods slowly. “If you’re sure that’s what you want. He’s still looking for Danny. Aren’t you just a stand-in?”
“Danny’s dead. He’ll have fun, and so will I.”
“Which leads me to the next question. Where were you last night? It was freezing and you were out for hours.”
“By the river.”
“Danny… David,” she amends at my glare. “You can’t afford to get cold after having pneumonia. Why didn’t you come back here?”
“Well, because we hadn’t discussed it, and I was worried about what you’d say,” I say, flustered by her direct approach. God knows why, the two women are nothing if not direct.
“You bring him back here. Thank you for thinking of me, but you need to keep warm.”
“What about sex?” Two can play at being blunt.
“I’m a bit old for a threesome, dear.”
“Mary!” My cheeks heat up. She wins.
She rolls her eyes. “I’m not stupid, David. I know you’ll be having sex. Just be careful, okay?”
“Harry’s going to bring supplies.”
Please, God, don’t ask me what that entails
.
“That’s good, but you should get your own.”
I blush even harder. “I don’t have any money. I need to sort out my benefits.”