The Spaniard's Love-Child (14 page)

‘W
ELL
,
Miss Rose, everything's fine. As you saw on the scan you have a healthy baby and your dates are bang on—you are twelve weeks almost exactly.'

Nell, who had been preparing herself for the worst, gave a sigh of relief. ‘But the bleeding…?' she began anxiously.

‘A small blood loss is not unusual about the time your period would have been due in the early weeks while your body is adjusting to hormone levels.'

‘Then I can go home?'

‘You can.' The doctor looked at her over the top of his half-moon spectacles. ‘Remember to take things easy, no dashing around, and if you have
any
worries go straight to your GP.'

‘I will,' Nell promised.

Nell passed through the maternity and antenatal departments. Seeing pregnant women
en masse
, some in the final stages of pregnancy and absolutely vast, reminded Nell of how her own body was already changing.

Will I ever be that big?

Her eyes fixed on her still-flat waistline, she promptly blundered into a nurse who was preceding a very pregnant woman through a doorway. The woman in the flowery smock was walking with her arm linked through that of a man. You didn't have to ask for a blood test to know that he was the father…he positively glowed with pride.

Nell smiled as he held the woman's elbow as she lowered herself awkwardly into a chair; he acted as though she were made of glass.
That's the way it's supposed to be,
she
thought,
sharing all the…
Her smile faded and she turned quickly away.

I will never have that. I won't have someone to share this with me.

The wave of loss that swept over her was shocking in its intensity. She hurried out of the building and outside took several deep breaths of fresh air before setting off for home.

It was actually not so difficult for Nell to block out the memory of that happy couple; she had plenty of other things to occupy her thoughts. Now that the baby's survival was no longer occupying her thoughts to the exclusion of everything else, the old burning issue resurfaced.

What was the best way to tell Raul that their one night together had resulted in a baby in such a way that made it clear she wasn't asking for anything from him?

Of course it would be easier not to tell him at all. She had even tried to tell herself that it would be better for everyone if she kept him in ignorance, but she had always known deep down that this option was a non-starter.

Fathers, even accidental fathers, had rights, so, even though she didn't expect Raul to be happy about it, he did have the right to know that he had a child. One day the baby would want to know who his or her father was. At least if she was asked she could honestly tell her son or daughter that she had loved their father very much—this was a love-child in the truest sense of the word.

On the way home she stopped off at the supermarket to buy a few groceries. Coming out with her awkward carrier bags she didn't see the woman in the back of a black cab who was staring at her.

Later that same night she finally completed the letter she had begun and abandoned so many times before. Sticking a stamp on it, she walked down to the post office, not trust
ing herself to still be of the same mind in the morning. It was growing dark by the time she retraced her steps to the bedsit she had rented.

She decided to take the long way back, because it was better lit, but even so when she heard the footsteps behind her on the rainy pavement she quickened her pace. The footsteps did too. She slowed down and so did the footsteps.

Nell's heart thudded as fear raced through her veins. She looked around the street. It was deserted. She took a deep breath and broke into a run. The adrenaline surging through her bloodstream gave her feet wings. The door to her building was only a hundred metres or so away.

Her goal was literally a couple of steps away when her heel caught in a crack in the pavement and she lost her footing and fell heavily, landing on her hands and knees. Pain jarred through her, robbing her momentarily of the power of speech.

Two strong hands beneath her arms began to haul her up and she totally lost it. Convinced that she was about to become the victim of some violent stalker, she stamped down with all her might on her attacker's instep while at the same time jabbing viciously backwards with her elbow.

Both blows connected and Nell gave a grim smile as she heard him grunt in pain. His grip loosened and Nell took her opportunity and tore free. As she did so she half turned back, her red-gold hair whipping around her face as she faced her attacker, her fists clenched.

Shock froze her to the spot, the battle light fading from her eyes.
‘You?'
she breathed. Her wide gaze clung helplessly to the tall, greyhound-lean, dark-haired figure who was straightening his jacket.

‘Are you mad?' Raul demanded.

‘I thought…I thought you were chasing me,' she faltered.

He released a low, frustrated hiss. ‘Of course I was chasing; you took off as if…'

‘As if someone was following me?' she suggested quietly.

‘You thought I was…' Enlightenment softened the hard edges of his face. His eyes dropped to the hands still clenched into fists at her side. ‘And what were you going to do?' he asked. ‘Fight?'

His amusement brought a self-conscious flush to her pale cheeks. ‘Well, I wasn't going to make it easy for him.'

A light of admiration entered Raul's dark eyes. He was still so angry that he couldn't look at her without wanting to demand how she could have walked out on him after that night they had shared.

The irony of this dramatic reversal of roles had not passed him by. He was the one who didn't stay the night with women because he didn't want them to get the wrong idea.

‘Even your worst enemy would have to admit you have guts.'

‘Is that what you are?' she asked warily.

‘Are you hurt?'

Seeing him had driven everything else from her head, including the fact that her knees were grazed and bleeding. A quick glance convinced her the damage was superficial. She turned her hands palm up and brushed some of the loose gravel that had embedded itself in the soft skin away.

‘A bit bruised but I'll…' Midway through dismissing his concern, she recalled the other life she was meant to be protecting. A wave of self-condemnation and mind-numbing fear swept over her.

Raul saw the colour leech from her skin just before she bent forward clutching her stomach.

He slipped a supportive arm across her back. ‘What is it?' She gave no answer, just a low moan. ‘Are you hurt? Is that it?' he demanded urgently.

Nell lifted her head and fixed her haunted eyes on his face. ‘It's not me,' she denied, with an impatient shake of her head.

‘Then what is it?'

‘What if I hurt the baby when I fell?'

‘The baby. What baby…?'

‘Our baby.'

For several seconds he did nothing at all, just stood, an expression of blank incomprehension on his dark, gorgeous features. ‘Y…you're saying…?' His eyes dropped to her belly; he swallowed. ‘You're…?'

She nodded, appreciating his shock. She'd been pretty shocked herself when she had discovered their night of passion had resulted in her being pregnant, but she'd had time to grow accustomed to the idea.

‘I'm pregnant. I'm sorry,' she added, because she felt manners required a show of contrition, though actually she didn't feel at all sorry. Scared sometimes, and worried about practical things such as how she would cope when the baby came—would she be a good mother? And was childbirth
really
as painful as they said? But that wasn't the same thing as sorry.

‘God, I've only just come from the hospital. Do you think I should go back, Raul?'

‘Hospital…baby…
Oh, my God!
' He closed his eyes.

Under the street lamp he looked ashen. He was taking it even worse than she had thought he would.

‘Look, I only live up there.' Her backhanded gesture in
dicated the general direction of her flat. ‘Do you think you can make it?' she asked gently.

Raul's eyes flickered open and he looked down at her anxious upturned features with an expression of blank incomprehension. ‘What are you talking about? I am capable of walking a few steps.'

‘Well, you didn't look it,' she revealed candidly. ‘God, I'm really sorry I blurted it out like that,' she told him regretfully. ‘But I guess I panicked. It would have been much easier in a letter…that's what I was doing,' she revealed. ‘Posting a letter to you.'

‘Your consideration for my feelings is profoundly moving.'

His sarcasm made her wince.

‘However, I'm sure it is
easier
to fire a shot at someone from half a mile away using a telescopic sight than it would be to look them in the eyes and pull the trigger, but not necessarily for the person on the receiving end of the bullet!'

He'd prefer to be shot than have a baby, Nell interpreted unhappily.

‘What are you doing?'

‘I am taking you to the hospital,' he said, hefting her a little more comfortably into his arms.

‘That really isn't necessary. The carrying or the hospital.'

‘Shall we allow a properly qualified person to decide?' he suggested.

‘I panicked,' she said in a small voice. ‘I'd prefer to go home.'

‘
Your
preferences are not a priority at present.' This blighting announcement reduced Nell to silence. A silence that lasted all the way to the hospital.

She looked at the tall building he pulled the car up in front of. ‘This isn't my hospital.'

‘It is now,' he snapped, picking her up as though she were a contagious disease.

Only in her most impracticable dreams had Nell allowed herself to imagine him being tenderly concerned for her health and delighted by the news he was to be a father. Realistically she had anticipated his shock and even anger. What she hadn't allowed for was the hostility that seemed to be directed at her. It wasn't as if she had got pregnant to spite him and she had certainly not done it on her own!

Perhaps it was time to remind him of that…?

‘Listen, you can't make me…'

Her feisty rebuttal died a death as dark eyes fastened onto her face. ‘I think you'll find I can make you do a lot of things one way or the other, but we can discuss that once we have had the baby checked.'

‘Am I supposed to believe you care?'

He inhaled sharply. ‘My concern for the baby is the only thing that is stopping me strangling you,' he revealed without inflection before turning to the receptionist and announcing he needed to see a doctor, and not any doctor—Raul knew exactly whom he wanted to see.

Having seen him in action, Nell was not surprised to find herself being attended to by a blond medic who introduced himself as Will James and immediately endeared himself to Nell by asking her if she wanted Raul to stay while he examined her.

‘Definitely not,' she said, beaming with gratitude to finally be given a say.

Raul was inclined to protest his exclusion. ‘Really, Will, that's not necessary.'

‘The lady is the boss.' Smiling but firm, the doctor waited until an impatient-looking Raul had left the room.

‘Now tell me what is troubling you.'

‘I've been and done this once today.' She sighed.

The doctor looked alert. ‘Tell me about it,' he suggested.

‘You know Raul?' Nell queried.

‘Is that a problem?'

‘It could be,' she admitted.

‘I do know Raul, but I can assure you that our friendship doesn't alter the fact that anything you say to me will remain confidential.'

‘You know Raul and you can say that?'

The doctor laughed. ‘I didn't say it would be easy.'

After the doctor left a cup of tea and biscuits appeared. About two minutes later again so did a nurse, asking if Nell would like to see Mr Carreras. She looked relieved when Nell gave a nod of assent. Clearly she wasn't the only one who found it hard to say no to Raul.

Seconds later an irate-looking Raul, his tie askew, his normally sleek hair standing in spiky tufts around his head, exploded into the room. He looked at Nell propped up comfortably in bed drinking tea and his scowl deepened.

‘Nobody has offered me tea,' he said, sounding more like a thwarted schoolboy than a dangerous playboy.

‘I could ask for a second cup.'

‘I don't want tea,' he retorted belligerently. ‘The people here have been unhelpful and obstructive,' he announced in a voice clearly pitched to travel beyond the confines of her room. ‘Nobody will tell me a thing!' he revealed in a throbbing voice of frustration.

‘I expect they think it's none of your business.'

‘None of my business!' he bellowed. ‘
Dios
…I'm the father.'

‘You could always ask me.'

Her soft voice seemed to have a benign effect on him. ‘I could,' he agreed.

‘Have a seat, Raul,' she suggested.

Suspicion hardened the perfect lines of his proud face. ‘Why, is it bad news?'

‘No, not bad news,' she hastened to reassure him.

His shoulders visibly slumped in relief as, to her dismay, instead of taking the chair as she had expected he would he came to sit beside her on the edge of the bed.

Her nostrils twitched and her belly tightened as she greedily breathed in the male, Raul scent of him.

‘So what did Will say?'

‘That I'm pregnant.'

‘You could have told me that…oh, I forgot, you favour the letter-writing option.' Raul closed his eyes and hissed something that sounded angry to himself in Spanish before opening them again. ‘I'm sorry.'

‘Me too,' Nell admitted. ‘The letter thing was stupid. I take it you weren't in the street by accident when I walked by.'