the STRUGGLE (7 page)

Esther tipped her head. “What other plans?”

“Marrying Samuel, of course. Once you two are married, I’m sure you’ll want to be a full-time mother to his children and any other children you may have in the future.”

Esther’s cheeks flushed to a deep pink. “Samuel and I haven’t set a date to be married yet, but I hope it’ll be soon.”

“Well, whenever it happens, once you’re married, your first obligation will be to him and his children.”

Esther smiled. “What about you and Allen?”

“What about us?”

“Has he hinted at marriage yet?”

“No, but if he had, I would have avoided the subject.”

“How come?”

“You know why, Esther.”

“So you haven’t told him yet about the baby you had when you were sixteen?”

Bonnie shook her head. “No, and I’m not sure I ever will. I’m afraid it might ruin our relationship.”

“You can’t have an honest relationship if you’re not truthful with him about your past.” Esther’s sincere expression was enough to make Bonnie tear up.

“I know I should tell him, but I need to be sure our bond is strong enough before I do.”

“How long do you think that will be?”

Bonnie shrugged. “I don’t know. I’ll have to play it by ear.” She started walking toward the house. “Now changing the subject, after I give Hannah a tour of my house, would you all like to stay for lunch?”

“That’d be nice, but we wouldn’t want to impose.”

“It wouldn’t be any trouble, and I’d enjoy not having to eat alone.”

“If it’s okay with Hannah, then it’s fine with me,” Esther said.

When they stepped back into the house, they found Hannah watching as the children colored pictures while seated at the table.

“I was wondering if you’d like to stay for lunch,” Bonnie said.

Hannah looked at Esther, as though seeking her approval. When Esther nodded, Hannah smiled and said, “That’d be nice.”

“Before we eat, though, would you like a tour of my bed-and-breakfast?”

“Yes, I would,” Hannah replied. “I’ve been admiring some of the things you have here in the kitchen, and I’d enjoy seeing what the rest of the house looks like.”

Bonnie found a game for the kids to play and situated them on the living-room floor; then she motioned for Esther and Hannah to follow her upstairs.

“I’ve seen all the rooms many times, so I think I’ll stay down here with the children,” Esther said.

“That’s fine. Since you’re up there cleaning every morning, you probably get tired of looking at the rooms.”

Esther shook her head. “Not really. I enjoy my work, but I think it’s best if I stay with the children.”

“I agree,” Hannah spoke up. “They might end up coloring everything in Bonnie’s kitchen.” A hint of a smile crossed her face, and Bonnie was pleased. It was the first time Hannah had seemed this relaxed. Maybe as Bonnie got to know Hannah better, they might even become friends.

C
HAPTER
9

W
hen Hannah and Esther returned from Bonnie’s that afternoon, the first thing they did was put the kids down for their naps. All three of them were tired and cranky. Jared and Mindy had screamed and fussed so much on the way home that Hannah thought she would go insane. She’d figured the ride home would lull them to sleep, but it apparently had the opposite effect. They were probably full of sugar from the cookies they’d eaten. Hannah would have to watch Mindy a little closer from now on and make sure she ate properly. She didn’t like it when her daughter became hyper.

“I’m going out to the phone shanty to make a call,” Hannah told Esther after she’d put Mindy down and made sure she was asleep.

“That’s fine.” Esther smiled. “While you’re doing that, I’ll start cutting up the vegetables for the stew I’m going to make for supper this evening.”

Hannah frowned. “Actually, I was planning to fix a meat loaf for supper. I saw some ground beef in the refrigerator and thought I’d use it for that.”

“Oh, well, Samuel really likes stew, and that’s what I told him I’d make for supper tonight.”

Hannah’s jaw clenched. Esther and Samuel weren’t even married, but she acted like she was in charge of his kitchen. For that matter, she acted like she was in charge of everything in this house, including Samuel’s children.

“Will you be staying here to eat supper with us?” Hannah asked.

Esther nodded. “I usually eat supper and then do the dishes before I head back to Bonnie’s.”

“Now that I’m living here, you won’t need to stay.”

“Oh, but I want to. I enjoy eating supper with Samuel and the kinner.” Esther’s cheeks colored. “Unless you’d rather that I didn’t join you for supper. If that’s the case, I can just fix the meal and be on my way.”

Hannah folded her arms. “It’s not that I don’t want you to stay. I just don’t see the need for you to fix supper when I’m perfectly capable of doing it.”

“I’m sure you are, but …” Esther’s voice trailed off. “If you’d prefer to fix meat loaf, that’s fine with me.”

Hannah nodded in reply then scooted out the back door. She was anxious to call Mom and tell her about Bonnie’s B&B. Seeing the antiques there had given her an idea about how she might earn some money. She was eager to tell Timothy about it as well.

When Hannah stepped into the phone shanty, she was pleased to discover a message from her mother. But as Hannah listened to Mom talk about going shopping at Naomi and Caleb’s store in Paradise and then eating at Bird-in-Hand Family Restaurant, a wave of homesickness rolled over her. She sat for several minutes, fighting the urge to cry, then finally laid her head on the table and gave in to her tears.

When the tears finally subsided, Hannah dried her face on her apron and headed back to the house, not bothering to return Mom’s call. When she stepped inside, she was surprised to see Esther standing in front of the kitchen sink. “Oh, you’re still here?”

Esther nodded. “I’ll leave as soon as Marla and Leon get home from school.”

“Since I’m here to greet them, there’s really no need for you to wait.”

Esther, looking more than a bit hurt, nodded. “I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

Not if Samuel agrees to let me watch the kinner
, Hannah thought.

Bonnie had just taken a pan of cinnamon rolls from the oven, when she heard the distinctive
clip-clop
of horse’s hooves. She set the pan on the cooling rack and looked out the kitchen window, surprised to see Esther’s horse and buggy coming up the driveway.

“I wonder what she’s doing here at this time of the day. I hope nothing’s wrong.”

Bonnie slipped into a sweater and hurried outside, just as Esther was tying her horse to the hitching rail. “I didn’t expect to see you until later this evening. Is something wrong?” she asked.

“Yes, I’m afraid so.”

Bonnie felt immediate concern. “What is it?”

Esther’s chin trembled as tears welled in her brown eyes. “Hannah doesn’t like me, Bonnie. I’m sure of it.”

“Did you two have a disagreement?”

“Not exactly. She pretty much told me how it’s going to be.”

“What do you mean?”

“Hannah let it be known that she’d rather I not stay for supper, and she didn’t want me to fix the stew I’d promised Samuel I would make.” Esther stroked Ginger’s velvety nose, as though needing the horse’s comfort. “She thinks my services aren’t needed now that she and Timothy are living in Samuel’s house.”

“That’s ridiculous! Samuel hired you to watch the kids, cook meals, clean the house, and do the laundry.”

“I know, but now that Hannah’s there, I feel like I’m in the way. I’m sure she’s quite capable of doing everything I’ve been doing, and it would save Samuel some money if he didn’t have to pay me.”

“Have you talked to him about this?” Bonnie questioned.

“Not yet. I was hoping to speak with him this evening, but that was before Hannah practically pushed me out the door.”

Bonnie put her arm around Esther and gave her a hug. “Now, don’t you give in so easily. You need to talk to him soon, because Hannah has no right to just come in and take over like that.”

Esther sniffed and slowly nodded. “I’ll go over there a little early tomorrow morning. Hopefully, I can discuss things with him before he leaves for work.”

“That’s a good idea. In the meantime, you can come up to the house and have supper with me.”

Esther smiled. “Thank you, Bonnie. I don’t know what I’d do without your friendship.”

“You’ve been a good friend to me, as well.” Bonnie shivered, feeling a sudden chill. She hoped Hannah wouldn’t do anything to mess things up between Esther and Samuel. They’d already had their share of struggles, and if anyone deserved some peace and happiness, it was them.

C
HAPTER
10

W
here’s Esther?” Marla asked when she and Leon arrived home from school.

“She went home.” Hannah motioned to the stairs. “You’d better go up to your rooms and change out of your school clothes so you can get your chores done before it’s time to eat supper. Oh, and go quietly, please, because the little ones are napping.”

Leon looked up at Hannah with a wide-eyed expression. “Esther went home?”

“That’s what I said.” Didn’t the child believe her, or was he hard of hearing?

“But Esther never goes home till after supper.” Leon’s brows furrowed; he looked downright perplexed.

“That’s right,” Marla put in. “And after supper, Esther and I always do the dishes together before she goes back to Bonnie’s.”

Hannah looked directly at Marla. “From now on, I’ll be fixing supper, and you can help
me
do the dishes.”

Marla opened her mouth as if to say something more, but Leon spoke first. “But what about Esther?”

Hannah sighed. “I just told you. Esther won’t be here for supper.”

Leon’s forehead wrinkled. “But she’ll still be comin’ in the morning to fix our breakfast and take care of Penny and Jared while we’re in school, right?”

“That hasn’t been decided yet. I’ll be talking to your daed about it when he gets home from work,” Hannah said, her irritation mounting. “Since your uncle Timothy and I will be living here until we get our own home, there’s no reason I can’t watch your brother and sister during the day while you’re at school and your daed’s at work.”

“But Jared and Penny like Esther, and so do we.” Marla looked over at Leon, who agreeably bobbed his head.

“I’m sure you do, and you’ll have plenty of time to spend with her once she and your daed get married.”

Leon’s mouth opened wide. “Daadi and Esther are gettin’ married? How come nobody told us about it?”

Hannah flinched.
Oh great. Now I’ve said something I shouldn’t have said
. “What I meant to say was that if your daed keeps courting Esther, then I’m sure in time he’ll ask her to marry him.”

A smile stretched across Leon’s face as he hopped up and down and clapped his hands. “That’s really good news! I’m gonna ask Daadi to marry Esther right away!”

“That’s not a good idea,” Hannah was quick to say. “I’m sure your daed will let everyone know once he and Esther have set a date.”

“But he might do it quicker if we ask him to.” Marla grabbed Leon’s hand and gave it a squeeze. “Won’t it be
wunderbaar
when Esther’s our mamm?”

He nodded vigorously.

“Well, it hasn’t happened yet, so you need to keep quiet about it.” Hannah wished she’d never brought the subject up. And she certainly hoped that by the time Samuel married Esther, she and Timothy would be living in their own place, because two women in the same house, each trying to do things her own way, would never work.

Hannah had just finished making a tossed green salad when she heard the rumble of a truck coming up the driveway. Looking out the window and seeing Timothy and Samuel climb out of Allen’s truck, she hurried to set the table.

A few minutes later, Samuel and Timothy entered the kitchen.

“Mmm…it smells good in here, but it doesn’t smell like stew,” Samuel said, sniffing in the air. “Esther said she’d fix my favorite stew for supper this evening.” He glanced around. “Where is Esther anyway? Is she in the living room?”