Authors: Shelley Shepard Gray
He sighed. “Now I wonder if I’ll ever even be as good as I once was.”
“Graham, you are a wonderful-
gut
man. You are. And as for the gossips? They’ll come around. People always do.”
“You haven’t heard what people have been saying about me.”
Mattie figured the opposite was true. Most likely, he hadn’t heard everything everyone had said about him. “You know better than to let the gossips be your guide.” Smiling softly, she slipped one of her wool-covered hands in his. “Graham, don’tcha remember what all the gossips had been saying about me?”
“You were either supposed to die, at death’s door, or were going to be permanently disfigured.” He grinned. “I’d forgotten about all that.”
“Because I’m so much better now. Why, just the other day, someone commented on my hair—asked me how it was growing. Things get better, Graham Weaver. They always do. I mean, you’ve talked to Jenna, yes?”
“Yes . . .”
“And the job at the factory? That’s a good thing, too.” Moving closer, she set her hand on his shoulder. “And this destruction? It’s bad, but it’s not the end of the world. Look around you, Graham. Everything can be made right again.”
“Maybe. I just don’t understand why all of this is happening.”
She’d thought those same words so many times, she almost smiled. “You don’t have to know.”
“So I’m just supposed to bear it all the best I can?”
“I think so. Maybe right now. Right this minute, our Lord is reminding us that we are all survivors. Each of us, every day, has struggles we must overcome. Some are difficult and seemingly unsurpassable. Such as my cancer, or your house. Or your reputation.
“But other things count, too. All the bad things that surface even just dealing with family life. Bad days. Bad relationships. Each of us must overcome and move forward. Into the aftermath. Even if we’re scarred. Even if we’re damaged. Even if we’ll never be the same.”
“You really believe that, don’t you?”
“I have to. Otherwise, I couldn’t go on.”
“Do you think you’ll be able to move on with me? By my side?”
“What are you saying?”
“I’m asking you to be my girl.”
Mattie was amused. Oh, but life was never going to be dull or boring with Graham by her side! “Graham Weaver, this is how you finally decide to court me? In the rain, after a tornado, with everything falling down on us?”
“You’re the one who seems to think it’s a perfect time,” he said, pure amusement making his blue eyes sparkle.
“I didn’t say
perfect
.”
“You came pretty close to saying that. So, yes, Mattie Lapp. I’m proposing to you, right now. Right here.”
“I suppose it’s as good a place as any.”
“I think it’s the best place on earth,” he countered. “Here we are, living proof that wonders never cease, and that there’re good things to be found most anywhere.”
“Well,
that is true
. . .”
His voice softened as he stepped forward. “That is true. I’m a believer, you see.”
“A believer?”
“Uh-huh. In miracles. You’re the one who taught me to believe in miracles.”
“Because I survived cancer?”
“Because you survived losing your faith. And cancer. And instead of folding or getting weaker, you only got stronger. Mattie, you’ve proven your strength and the Lord’s goodness in all of us time and again.”
She’d surely never done anything like that! “Graham, I was just trying—”
He cut her off. “Mattie, I need you. I always have, you know that. I want to court you. I want us to spend as much time together as possible.”
She did know. Because Graham’s love and friendship had also been an enormous part of her life. “I need you, too. And I want to be with you, too.”
“So will you finally stop fussing and tell me your answer? Here in the rain? Here, when I have so little to give you?”
That was where he was wrong. For longer than she could remember, he’d always had so much more for her than she could have ever expected. A little lump formed in her throat when she recalled all the times he’d been there for her, from when they’d been in grade school and he’d shared his sandwich because she’d forgotten her lunch at home, to most recently, when he’d promised her on the elevator that he’d help her find a sweetheart.
But of course that special person she’d needed had been him. It had always been him.
“Mattie Lapp?” His voice cut through her memories like a knife. “Are you ever going to tell me yes?”
“Oh. Yes. Of course.” She laughed, amazed that he would ever imagine a different response from her. “Yes, I would love for us to court.”
He looked so relieved Mattie couldn’t help but tease him. With a laugh, she lifted her head and looked into his eyes. “Did you really think I wouldn’t say yes?”
“I’ve learned to never guess what’s going on in your head, Mattie.”
Leaning against him, she cuddled close, positioning her body closer to his when he leaned forward and kissed her brow. With one hand, she traced the lines of his shirt, liking the way the soft cotton felt against her skin. And how the fine muscles of his chest felt underneath the fabric.
Finally relaxing, Graham sighed. “We’re going to have quite a story to tell our
kinner,
won’t we, Mattie?” he murmured after a few moments.
“Indeed,” she replied with a smile. “We finally started courting right after we survived a string of tornadoes touching down right near us. Matter of fact, I can’t think of another man who would be thinking of love and marriage right now. It would be more the thing to concentrate on the land and house.”
“Oh, I don’t think so. I think this is the best time of all to think of the future. After all, it could have just been taken away from us.”
She felt his lips kiss her brow. “That is true.”
Still imagining how they would tell their children about this special day, Mattie added, “Of course, we’ll have to remind our
kinner
that we didn’t rush into anything.”
“We certainly didn’t do that,” he said drily.
Ignoring his quip, she added, “I’ll tell them how we’ve been friends forever. And that you helped me with cancer, too.”
“And that you believed in me when so few other people did.”
Mattie knew he was thinking of Jenna and her lies. “I didn’t have a choice. I know the kind of man you are.”
“Well, I don’t see the need to tell our sons and daughters all that. I’m just going to say that the Lord must have meant for us to be together. After all, we must have survived all this for a reason.”
“I couldn’t agree with you more,” Mattie said, thinking that Graham’s words were very true.
Yes, she was a cancer survivor, but now that she thought about it, Mattie reckoned that each person that they knew most likely had a story to tell. Everyone was a survivor of something—whether it was a sickness or an injury. Or a survivor of a difficult relationship like Lucy’s. Or an unhappy home like Jenna’s, or a failed marriage like the Weavers’ uncle John.
Other obstacles came to mind. Friends she knew who’d had a difficult time in school. Or who’d had terrible financial burdens. Or who fought depression.
Over and over, God seemed to be telling her, reminding her, that it wasn’t what tragedies a person had to go through that was important. It was how a person overcame them.
Because even scarred and damaged, they were all worthwhile and worthy . . . and so deserving of His love.
And sometimes, Mattie realized, a person could even get something special, indeed. The wondrous love of a very best friend. The kind of love worth waiting for.
Rubbing her arm gently, Graham whispered in her ear. “Mattie, are you happy?”
She was wrapped in Graham’s arms—in her fiancé’s embrace. She had his love. Finally, she felt at peace with both her disease and her faith.
At that moment, Mattie didn’t think it was possible to be happier. “Yes,” she said simply. “Right now, right this minute, I am very happy, indeed.”
Then she turned her head to his and kissed him. Because truly, there was really nothing more to say.
One month later
“H
urry now, Mattie,” Katie urged as she pulled on her hand a little harder. “You’re gonna make us late.”
Mattie let herself be tugged down the snow-covered path she knew almost as well as the back of her hand. But though she didn’t mind being led, she couldn’t resist teasing her young sister-in-law a little bit. “Do you really think they’ll start without us?”
“They might,” Katie replied, her eyes solemn.
“Watch your tongue, child,” Mrs. Weaver warned. “It’s not your place to be telling Mattie what to do.”
“I know, but—”
“Daughter. Settle down, now. And don’t pull Mattie so hard. She could slip and fall and we’d be very sad about that,
jah
?”
Her mouth now tightly shut, Katie nodded.
Mattie watched in amusement as Katie swallowed and tried not to talk . . . until it looked as though she was about to burst. “It’s all right,” she said, squeezing Katie’s hand. “I’m excited, too.”
“Promise?”
“I promise.”
Katie exhaled. Then, with a satisfied smile, dropped Mattie’s hand and scampered a few feet ahead.
“Oh, I tell you, Mattie. Sometimes I think the Lord gave me Katie just to give me exercise.”
Mattie chuckled as she noticed that Mary Weaver—her new mother-in-law—wasn’t cross as much as exasperated. “Katie is a bundle of energy. All morning, I’ve been trying to figure out who she takes after the most. Who do you think? Calvin, Loyal, or Graham?”
As they continued down the path toward Mattie’s old home, Mary pondered. “That would be hard to say. None of the boys were as rambunctious as this one tiny girl. She seems to have more energy than the three of them combined. But if I had to choose, I would say she’s closest to Calvin.”
“Calvin?” That surprised Mattie. “I always thought of Calvin as being so fatherly.”
“He wasn’t fatherly and so responsible until his father went up to heaven. But, see, Calvin is my confident one. He was never afraid to go out in the world and explore. Katie is like that.”
Mattie supposed Mary’s reflections held merit. Calvin was confident—and Katie had that in spades. As they approached the halfway spot between her home and the Weavers’, she tapped the fence. “It’s always a good thing when I see this point. There have been times when I’ve been either too cold or hot, or so plain tired that I was sure I couldn’t take much more of the walk.”
Mrs. Weaver chuckled. “I’ve felt that a time or two.” Her eyes narrowed as she saw Katie scamper off to the left, where there was enough of a gap that it was possible to see the road.
Mattie jumped when Katie whistled and waved merrily to a passing buggy.
“Hiya Mr. Yoder!”
“
Gut matin,
Katie!” he called back. “We’ll see you soon,
jah
?”
“Uh-huh!”
After they directed Katie back to the path, Mary clucked her tongue. “Actually, perhaps I was wrong. Our Katie has a good amount of Loyal’s characteristics, too. All his life, Loyal never met a stranger.”
Thinking of Loyal’s easy smile, and the way he always had a kind word for most everyone, Mattie agreed. “I don’t think Katie’s ever met a stranger, either. Ella says Katie now knows more people at the library than she does.”
“I wouldn’t doubt that. Seeing how Katie scampers about, I’ve always been thankful that we live in a place like Jacob’s Crossing. Here, no one is a stranger for long.”
That was true. Jacob’s Crossing was a town filled with friends, not strangers. Everyone knew each other and their past, too, which was for better or worse, Mattie decided.
Boy, but the gossips had given Graham a time of it. For a while there, he’d hardly done anything but go to work and stay at home, he was so disappointed by their censure.
However, the community also did much for its members, too. When she thought of the hundreds of fried pies the town’s ladies had made to help with her medical bills, selling them at fairs and auctions and at charity shows, it truly boggled Mattie’s mind.
In the distance, they could see her house now. Ever since she and Graham had announced their engagement, her father, Calvin, Loyal, and Graham had been busy adding on another wing to the house. In no time, her parents would move to the new section.
“Jacob’s Crossing is certainly a special place. I can’t imagine living anywhere else,” Mattie said. “I’ve never, ever even thought about moving away.”
“Neither have I. But, perhaps for people like my brother-in-law John, it is good some people do go for a time. He appreciates things here so much now.”
“Most especially Mary and Abel,” Mattie said with a smile.
John had married Mary in a quiet ceremony soon after the storm. Though none of them had ever said much about what had happened, it was obvious to all that something momentous had occurred during the storm. Now it was becoming a common thing to see the family of three together. Almost every morning, Mary would be at the donut house with John, working by his side to keep things neat and clean.
“It’s still strange to see John dressed Plain,” she murmured.
“I never thought he would actually become Amish, if you want to know the truth. I’m amazed he gets around in his buggy as well as he does.”
“John told me Amos likes his old truck very much.”
“He should. He got it for practically nothing. All he had to do was promise to take John back and forth to work.”
“Oh, no!” Katie cried out, interrupting their discussion.
Dismayed, Mattie watched the little girl dart forward and crouch down on her knees.
Mary ran to Katie’s side. “What did you find, child?”
“A rabbit. Its leg is hurt.”
“
Jah.
That is a shame.” Mary shook her head. “The poor hare.”
When Mattie saw the animal, she felt her heart constrict. “It’s just a baby. I hope it doesn’t suffer too much longer.”
“It won’t,” Katie said, scooping it up and gingerly cradling it in her apron. “We need to try and help it, don’tcha think?”
Mary looked at it warily. “I suppose so, though I have no idea how to help it, child.”
Katie looked at her mom, her blue eyes wide and tear-filled. “But we can try?”
“Of course.”
Seeing the little animal scared and shivering in Katie’s arms made Mattie’s heart break. She felt sorry for the rabbit, and sorry for Katie, too. It was never easy to see something so sweet get hurt or pass on to heaven.
Staring down at the bunny, Katie said, “Mamm, we’re almost there. Can I hurry and go find Graham? He’ll know what to do.”
“Of course,” Mary said with a bemused smile. When they could only see the faint outline of Katie’s skirts, Mary said, “Well, I stand corrected. Perhaps she’s most like her brother Graham.”
“Truly? I’ve never seen him rescue rabbits.”
“You might not remember, but Graham did when he was small.” Looking satisfied, Mary nodded. “Yes, Graham has always had a tender heart. That boy of mine has always cared about others, and yearned to make them better.”
Just like he’d done with her, Mattie realized. Time and again, he’d been there for her. He’d been someone she could count on.
And when he wasn’t sure if his efforts were doing any good, he’d reached out and tried harder. Yes, Graham was always trying to do the right thing, even when it was hard. “He’s a good man. I’m lucky.”
“He is a good one. But he’s lucky to have you, too,” Mary said. “Don’t forget that it takes two of you to make something special. And that’s what you have, Mattie. A love that is special and true.”
Two more steps brought them to the clearing. And there, in the cold January air, were all their family and friends. The moment she and Mary stepped into Graham’s line of vision, his eyes lit up.
“Finally,” he teased. “I told Katie either my new wife has very slow feet or she has very fast ones.”
“Katie is fast. I am certainly not slow.”
With a grin, he pulled her close and kissed her brow. “Of course not. Let it never be said that Mattie Weaver can’t hold her own.”
“How’s the rabbit?”
He shrugged. “Katie and I put it in a box filled with a quilt Ella found. There’s not much we can do for it besides keep it comfortable.”
“Poor Katie.”
Graham kissed her brow again. “Oh, she’ll be all right. I told her that it might be the hare’s time for heaven. She seemed okay with that notion.”
“Come on, you two,” Calvin called out. “Stop your kissing and come to the front porch. It’s cold out, and getting colder! I’m ready to go inside.”
“Please, take your time,” Lucy countered, with a sweet smile. “We are all fine.”
“Speak for yourself,” Loyal teased.
Mary clapped her hands. “I suppose it is up to me, once again, to get everyone on track. Gather round, everyone.”
When Mattie’s parents opened the door, they waved to her and Graham. “Mattie and Graham, welcome home. I tell you, I never thought this day would come.”
“That we’d be moving in here?”
“That you’d finally see what had been right before our eyes for many years. That you two were always meant to be together.”
Surrounded by the warm comfort of her family and friends, Mattie turned to Graham. “What do you think, husband? Were we always meant to be together?”
Taking her hands, he squeezed them lightly. “Of course,” he said. “I, for one, never had a doubt.”
And with that, Graham Weaver guided his wife of one week into the house she grew up in, but would now be in charge of. Where she would have her children, and sip coffee with her sisters-in-law, and give thanks.
And at night, after the sun was set and the world around them was quiet, she knew she’d look at him and smile.
And know that everything was truly right in her world. Right there, in her little town of Jacob’s Crossing. Thanks be to God.