Authors: Suzanne Jenkins
“Why didn’t you call my cell phone?” he asked.
“I guess I just forgot! But boy, is it good to hear your voice. You are not going to believe what happened here last night.”
“I’m almost afraid to ask,” he replied hesitantly.
Natalie told Ted about Ashton showing up, and Ted did a slow burn. He rarely got angry, but when he did, it was cataclysmic. She debated telling Ted about Ben, but then decided she’d better before he heard it from the others.
“I’m so sorry, Natalie. I thought he was a promising companion. It’s not such a big deal, is it?”
“No, actually, it is to me. I think the guy was a chubby-chaser anyway,” she said. Ted gave a loud laugh. “And to use the slur, especially in front of Ashton, well, it’s just unacceptable. Poor Ashton.”
“Do you need me to come up there and get him?”
“No, let him stay awhile. I feel sorry for him, Ted. He’s like a defenseless puppy dog.”
“Don’t get sucked in, Natalie.”
“I won’t.” She never told him about seeing Ashton at his worst at Costco.
“How’s Deborah?”
“She’s not pleased he’s here,” Natalie said, an understatement. Deborah was livid. She hid in her room, refusing to come out for breakfast.
“Have her call me, please,” Ted said. “By the way, I was going to call you later anyway, to ask if I can move in with you.”
“Of course you can,” Natalie said, frowning at the phone. “But don’t you want to try to work things out with Ashton first? Moving out seems like a drastic thing to do.”
“It’s been coming for a while,” he said. “There’s nothing like a surprise event to shake a marriage to its core.”
“Do you mean Deborah?” she asked.
Ted paused. He didn’t want to make his relationship with Natalie and Deborah the scapegoat. “Yes and no. I’ve grown to love both of you and can’t imagine life without you. But knowing about Deborah has changed my life. I’m not the same man I was a year ago. Ashton said terrible things last weekend, and I’m not sure I want to deal with him now.”
“If it makes any difference, he apologized to her and to Ben. He’s very contrite.”
Ted wasn’t convinced. “I’m glad he’s recognized he’s wrong,” Ted said brusquely. “Everyone was getting tired of his histrionics. Our friends don’t want anything to do with him as it is.”
Natalie decided to take a risk and ask Ted about Jack. The key to much of Ashton’s behavior seemed to be directly related to his relationship with Jack. “Do you think he’s still grieving over this Jack guy?”
Ted felt like someone had thrown a bucket of hot shit on him. “Ashton is talking about Jack?” he asked, incredulous.
“Well, not right now, but he has been a topic in the past,” Natalie said, already worried that she shouldn’t have opened her mouth.
“I am really sorry to hear that, Natalie. Please do me a favor; accept my apologies for having to deal with him, and tell the others how sorry I am. Since I know Ashton is safely out of the city, I’m going to go uptown now and pack up the rest of my belongings. Don’t tell him, okay? You don’t need to put yourself in the middle of this mess.”
“Ted, I’m so sorry. I feel responsible somehow.”
“You’re not, Nats. Don’t even go there. As soon as I work through how pissed off at him I am, I’m going to feel like a weight is off my shoulders.”
They promised to talk throughout the week and then said goodbye. Ted got motivated to hire a car and go back to the apartment today for a final time. He was so over Ashton.
***
Getting an apartment on Madison Avenue rent-free is worth the time spent on a Saturday afternoon playing cards with your mother. Brent Smith drank champagne, ate quiche, and laughed with Sandra and Pam, winning and losing and then winning again at pinochle.
“I’m not playing anymore,” Sandra said, slapping her hands on her knees.
“Why not?” Brent asked, frowning. “I’m having fun.”
“You cheat, that’s why,” she replied.
“How do you cheat at pinochle? That’s crazy!”
“You’re counting cards,” Sandra answered. “I should have figured someone with your brains wouldn’t play fair.”
“Now, Sandra, that’s not very nice,” Pam said, but she sprayed spittle all over when she burst out laughing.
“And you’re just as bad!” Sandra yelled.
“I’ve been playing cards since I was in diapers,” Brent said. “Ask Mom. During the winter if we didn’t go skiing, we’d be in the kitchen playing until all hours. Marie would be there, and Lisa and Dad.” He gazed out the window, over the city views. “It was a lot of fun.”
“It surely was,” Pam said softly.
“Dad was always available for us,” he said, looking at Pam. “I never felt lacking because he wasn’t around all week. You filled the need, I guess.”
Sandra was getting her answers about what kind of father Jack was without asking a question. It made her sad to hear Brent talking.
“I’m glad you have good memories,” Pam said. “Something positive for a change.” It was getting late, and she was tired and still wanted to stop by the retirement center on her way home. Stretching, she got up from the floor.
“I guess I better call it a day. Noni and Bubby await.”
“Tell them I said hi,” Brent said.
“Okay, this time I will. But if you’re going to be living here so close you need to go yourself. It’s part of growing up.”
“Gosh, is that all it takes to grow up? All righty then! I’ll go visit the old ladies.” Brent got up to see his mother out with Sandra following.
“I’ll be leaving shortly,” she said to Pam. They kissed goodbye and promised to see each other the following Wednesday. Sandra walked back to the living room and started picking up. She knew she was playing with fire, that if she stuck around, she’d lose her way again and get burned.
“You don’t need to do that,” Brent said when he came back into the room. He took glasses from her and put them back down on the table, pouring the rest of the champagne.
“I’ll be right back,” Sandra said, staggering to the bathroom.”
Brent sipped from his glass while he waited for her to come back. The light was awful in the bathroom, and Sandra wished she’d brought her purse with her. Ghostly pale, a little fresh lipstick would have helped. When she got back out to the living room, Brent was on the couch.
Sandra didn’t resist him reaching for her. They kissed urgently, his hand traveling down the length of her body. She responded and moaned, willing to go further. He led her to the couch, and they collapsed onto it, Brent on top of her. She didn’t hesitate spreading her legs apart. He nestled in the space, pushing up against her.
“You’re risking a lot, aren’t you?” he asked, holding her. He pulled up from her and looked into her eyes. “You don’t really even know me.”
The heat of shame went through her body as he warned her that she might regret getting involved with him, subduing her passion. “Are you suggesting we stop?” Humiliated by his concern, her words came out sounding defensive. Worse, a seed had sprouted that being with Brent was like seducing a younger brother. She moved out from under Brent, pushing him off.
“No, not at all. But I don’t want you to have any regrets. We’re going to start working together Monday. You might decide then I’m an asshole and wonder why you ever got involved with me.”
Sandra stood up, trying to hide her disappointment. “You have a point,” she said, embarrassed. She decided then to leave before she broke down crying. She felt like a stupid child. “I guess I’ll go, then. Are you sure you don’t want help cleaning up?”
“I am. Thank you for offering. Let’s have one more glass of champagne.” He went into the kitchen with their glasses and returned with two full glasses.
“It’s been a long time since I’ve had champagne in the daylight,” Sandra said. They spoke about work and finished off the champagne. Sandra stifled a yawn. She felt like she could lay down on the couch and go to sleep for the rest of the day.
“Just relax,” he said, pulling her back to him. She fell onto the couch.
“I definitely need to get some fresh air,” she said, but he held her, smoothing her hair with his hand. She didn’t remember falling asleep. But when she woke up, she could tell by the angle of the sun that she’d slept for a while.
“Hi, sleepy head,” Brent said.
She sat up with a start. “Oh my God, what time is it?”
“Almost four,” he said. “You must have needed the rest.”
“I’ll be right back,” she said, headed for the bathroom again. Grossed out, she felt like remnants of Tom’s semen had worked their way out of her body, forgetting they always practiced safe sex. She freshened up for her journey home.
Brent was waiting for her, eager for her to get on her way. “I’ll see you Monday, okay?” He held her hand as she started walking to the door.
“Okay, sounds good,” she said.
He pulled her to him again and kissed her, and she allowed it, frustrated, but relieved. She could leave with her ego intact.
By the time Pam got to the Eagle’s Nest, Nelda had made the call to Lisa and heard the news about Ed. Not knowing Ed well, Nelda was upset because her granddaughter was going through something so awful at a young age. Pam found Nelda and Bernice, dressed for a day in the city, sitting together on the divan in tears.
“Your mothers have heard bad news,” Annabelle said.
“What’s wrong?” Pam was kneeling in front of them, offering comfort, not even thinking of Lisa.
“Ed died,” Nelda sobbed.
“And Lisa is all alone with the baby,” Bernice added.
Pam’s hands went to her face, the shock she was feeling clear. “Oh Lord, I didn’t expect it!” Pam’s first thought was,
Where does Dan fit in all of this?
But she tried to put her daughter first. She stood up and looked at her watch. “I better get back to Long Island.” She could be at Lisa’s in an hour if traffic wasn’t bad.
“Can we go?” Bernice asked. Pam remembered when Jack died, having a house full of people around her. It may have been annoying, but it was therapeutic.
“Yes, but let’s go now. I feel badly that she’s alone. Annabelle, would you alert the staff that the ladies are coming home with me? Would you be able to join us?”
Annabelle agreed to go. Even Bernice was cooperative, and within fifteen minutes they packed bags, just in case an overnight visit developed. The valet pulled Pam’s car around.
“Why is this happening to my family?” Bernice asked.
Pam looked in the rearview mirror and thought about what her mother-in-law had experienced in the recent past.
The death of husband Harold and a year later, Jack. Then her surviving son, Bill, jailed. How did one person go through so much and still function? What reason could there be for it?
Lisa was traveling the journey of an adult. Pam was able to successfully banish Dan from her mind for a moment and could concentrate on Lisa’s pain. Even though they’d only known each other for little more than a year, Ed was still her husband, the father of her child. Pam needed to remind herself of those facts. She drove in silence, the whispers of her passengers occasionally filtering up to the front seat.
“We’re all widows now,” Bernice said.
Pam looked in the rearview again, and Nelda had put her arm around her companion. She looked back on the road, but the tears in her eyes blurred her vision. She was so glad they’d finally learned to love each other.
Will that ever happen for me?
she wondered
. Will I always be alone?
“How’s that nice young man you’re dating?” Bernice asked.
Pan snickered as she drove. “We broke up,” she answered. “Another failure of mine.”
“That’s an awful thing to say,” Nelda replied. “How many times have I said not to put yourself down.”
“Mother, I have to face the truth and not be afraid of speaking honestly about it. I got involved too soon after Jack died, and Dan is too young, so it’s my own fault.” She avoided telling Nelda the reason they broke up.
“If you only could’ve heard me less than two hours ago saying almost the same! Most of the disappointments in life, I’ve brought on myself. Ask Annabelle, she was there.”
Annabelle nodded her head.
“That’s our word for the day. No one is immune. I wish I could’ve protected my daughter from this sort of pain at such a young age, but she sort of brought it on herself.”
“Pam that’s an
awful
thing to say,” Bernice said. “How could losing her husband be her fault?”
“If Annabelle will forgive me for speaking frankly, I’ll tell you. She should’ve never gotten pregnant after knowing him one day, first of all. And second of all, if she hadn’t, she’d have discovered some things about him that might have prevented her from marrying him in the first place.” The reality was that Lisa had done the same thing her mother did: marry someone she didn’t really know.
“Well, it must be nice to be so high and mighty that you can point your finger at her!” Bernice was seething; her daughter-in-law just confirmed what Bernice had said all along about her. Pam was a snob.
“No worries,” Pam said. “I’ll be nice; you can count on me.”
“Humph,” Bernice said, shrugging her shoulders. “We’ll see about that.”
Nelda elbowed her and mouthed, “Shut up.” They drove the rest of the way in silence.
Pulling up to Lisa’s house, Pam was relieved that Dan’s car wasn’t in the driveway. She got out and opened the door for Bernice, who was still angry with her.
“If I’d known you were going to be mean to me all afternoon, I’d have left you back at Eagle’s Nest,” Pam said.
“Just drop it,” Nelda said, taking command. “We’re here for Lisa. Bernice, knock it off.”
Lisa was standing in the window, holding Megan, watching the women bickering. “Just what I need,” she said. “Three grouchy women.”
But by the time they reached her door, their sadness for Lisa was renewed. Nelda reached for Megan, and Bernice and Lisa embraced lovingly as they always did. Lisa brought out the best in Bernice, and Bernice seemed to lose ten years in her granddaughter’s presence. Lisa launched in with the story of Ed, from her discovery that he was losing interest in his wife, to the present time, his death after a brain tumor dissection.
“Did he have symptoms?” Nelda asked.