Authors: Suzanne Jenkins
The women cried together over the telephone, Pam repeating over again, “I’m so sorry.” What else was there to say? She was sorry for Gladys, someone she genuinely liked. Why would a good person like Gladys Ford have to lose a child? It just wasn’t fair. When Pam didn’t think she could take anymore, Gladys said she needed to hang up because friends were at the door.
Pam sat with Megan in her arms sound asleep for another five minutes before moving from the stool. In the past few years, the sorrow Pam had faced was not as bad as what Gladys and Ed Ford were going through. Pam didn’t think she’d survive the funeral. The house phone ringing disturbed her reverie. Standing up carefully so she wouldn’t disturb Megan, she went to see who it was. Law Office with Dan’s number flashed on the screen. She let the phone ring. The question of Dan’s whereabouts kept popping up in her mind, and she had an answer. Would he dare show his face? Although Pam didn’t know that details of Ed’s death, she figured Dan was with Lisa when she got the news.
Why did she care?
Her thoughts went back to Gladys Ford, putting Dan in order of priority. What he’d done was somewhere down around the bottom of the pile. She was glad he was no longer an issue. And if her daughter chose to continue in a relationship with him, Pam decided that she’d make that a nonissue, too. She wasn’t going to disown her daughter because of Dan. Nothing was powerful enough to make her do anything irrevocable. As she had all of her life, she would find a way to go with the flow.
On Sunday, Pam hired a car to take the elders and Annabelle back to Eagle’s Nest. As much as she hated to leave her daughter, she wanted to go back to the beach and check on the house. Brent said he’d spend the afternoon with Lisa so Pam could leave. Then, when Brent had to leave, Lisa and Megan were always welcome to come back to the beach.
Pam drove slowly along the road leading to her neighborhood. It was overcast and chilly, the streets lined with cars belonging to day-trippers. The tourist season had officially started that weekend. She remembered how Jack used to grumble when he had to navigate beach-goers getting their small kids dressed in the street. “Jesus, don’t these idiots have any modesty?”
Pam would laugh. “Jack, they’re toddlers.”
He’d shake his head. “I don’t want to see underage ass on my street, if that’s okay with you.”
She’d cover her face to try to hide the laughter from him. “So it would be okay if grown-ups were taking their bathing suits off in the street?”
“Yes, now that’s what I’m talking about!”
As she pulled into her driveway, laughing at the past, she remembered how awful she felt talking to Gladys Ford on Saturday, and that memories of Jack made her feel better. Watching the garage door slowly open, Pam had a momentary peace. Things were falling apart around her, but she was okay for right now.
Chapter 30
Brent was at Lisa’s when the first text from Julie came through.
Don’t contact me, Brent. I’m not accepting your apology. Leave me alone.
He waited until Lisa was out of the room before he replied.
Julie, let me make it up to you. I’ll pay you for everything it cost. I promise you, I’m getting better. I’m over the weird shit. Just let me talk to you.
The Hsus were enjoying a lazy Sunday afternoon watching TV. It was too chilly to sit outside. Julie was lying on her bed when she got the return text from Brent. Tempted to call him, she was afraid if she heard his voice, she’d cave and let him back in. She left her room and went to see her parents.
“Brent Smith started texting me yesterday,” she said.
Margaret Hsu aimed the remote at the TV and shut it off. “What does he want?”
“He’s sorry, wants to pay me back for the moving costs,” Julie answered.
“Let him,” Margaret replied. “It cost a lot of money.”
“I disagree,” Charles Hsu said. “If you take money from him, it’s like you condone what he did to you.”
“He wants to see me again, so Dad’s probably right,” Julie said.
“Oh God, Julie, don’t see him,” Charles said, getting out of the recliner. “I’m tempted to call our attorney.”
“Dad, there’s no need. He’s very contrite.” Julie walked back to her bedroom. She was afraid to answer his last text. As angry as she was at him, she still loved him. Closing her door, she reached for her phone in the middle of the bed.
Okay, I’ll talk to you.
Seconds later, her phone rang.
“Julie, I’m sorry about everything,” Brent said. “Let me come up and see you.”
“I’m not sure about that,” she answered. “Maybe we should wait a few days.”
“Things are pretty hairy around here right now,” he replied. “My sister’s husband died yesterday, and we have the funeral this week. I’m at her house now.”
“Oh, how awful,” Julie said.
They talked about the details of Ed’s death, and the sadness of it had an effect on Julie. Brent could hear the resistance in her voice breaking down.
“I love you, Julie. I want to marry you. Let me come up to White Plains tonight. I’ll talk to your parents, too.”
She finally agreed. Julie knew her parents would be furious with her. Regretfully, she’d given them too many details about his behavior; they’d never forget what she’d said. She decided to wait until he was in the neighborhood to tell them he was coming.
***
The view from Ashton Hageman-Dale’s Upper East Side apartment was one that usually brought him great joy. Sunday afternoon, it was the most depressing sight. Between the buildings across the street from his place, he could see smoke stacks spewing steam across an already gray sky. Raindrops just starting to fall hit the window glass with a ping. He could see the empty tram traveling along the cable to Roosevelt Island. Without provocation, he remembered a Sunday years earlier when Jack came over on just such a day. It was fall though, not summer. He knocked on the door of the apartment after Ashton buzzed him up, and when he looked in the peephole, Jack was sticking his tongue out and crossing his eyes. Ashton ushered him in with his dripping raincoat and hat.
“Wow, I am really impressed that you came out to see me in this weather,” Ashton said.
“Of course,” Jack said. “This is the best time to hole up.”
And that was what they did. They read the paper in bed after the most intense lovemaking. Ashton cooked a huge breakfast, which they ate, also in bed. They spent the afternoon in front of the television watching football. During half time, they stood in the same window looking at wet leaves blowing from the few trees planted along First Avenue.
“The fall is depressing,” Jack admitted.
Ashton agreed. Only it was the summer now. He thought about facing the long, sad summer alone. He’d tried living without Jack. He did everything they say you’re to do when you lose the love of your life. You move on, meet someone new, pretend to make a life. But it’s really a smoke screen.
He walked back into the bedroom, a plan forming. Taking a shower, he wanted to be clean. As he styled his hair and looked in his closet for just the right clothes to wear, he thought he should keep going, make something to eat, or even take himself out for dinner. But to what end? There was no point.
The best vodka, in his opinion, was an unflavored brand he and Jack liked for shots. When he was dressed, including shined shoes, he went into the dining room and got the vodka. He’d already found his hidden stash of Percocet. After arranging the pills and the bottle on the small table by the window with the depressing view, he went back to the dining room to get small shot glasses. He decided shots were better than a big glass.
Taking the entire bottle of Percocet, two pills at a time, he followed it with several shots of vodka. It didn’t take long before he was asleep, the bottle of vodka almost empty, the pills burning a hole in his stomach, while he dreamed of building fires against the cold of a winter storm.
***
Lisa put Megan down for the night after Brent left for White Plains. She finally felt like she could call Dan.
“I’m alone,” she said, relating the weekend with her mother and grandmothers and then her brother spending the afternoon. “Do you want to come over?”
“Yes,” he said, simply.
“Hurry,” Lisa replied as a stray tear made the journey down her face.
***
Brent was excited. He felt like everything was falling into place. He would start a new job on Monday, move into the city as soon as possible, get his relationship with Julie back on track, and if he was lucky, move forward with Sandra. She would be the perfect mistress because she had too much to lose to get caught. He got to the Hsus’ street, stopping to text Julie to look out for him. Julie decided that she’d better warn her parents.
Charles Hsu, livid, left the room while his wife started to scream at Julie. “You silly girl, don’t you realize how dangerous that man is? How could you let him back into your life?”
Julie was stunned at their reaction. “Mother, it will be fine, trust me.”
“Go back to your room,” Charles Hsu said, coming back from his bedroom. “I’ll handle this.”
Julie had never intentionally contradicted her parents. She decided to do as they said, and then she’d arrange to meet Brent away from the house like she should have done in the first place. She went to her room and closed the door but put her ear to it, hoping to hear what they were saying.
Charles Hsu opened the front door and watched Brent get out of the car. He looked just like his father, tall and lanky. But he walked with a swagger, cocky and self-assured. Brent Smith would be the last person the Hsus would want as a son-in-law.
“Go away, Brent,” he said. “You can’t see Julie tonight.”
Brent looked confused. “She just told me to come over.”
“Well, she made a mistake,” Charles Hsu replied. “She can’t see you, ever.”
Brent laughed. “You can’t keep us from seeing each other, old man.”
“I’ll lock her in the house first before I let her get involved with you again. Move along.”
Brent knew how cheap old man Hsu was and thought if he offered to write a check to cover all Julie’s moving costs, he’d simmer down. “Let me pay you back for her expenses,” Brent said, stopping midway up the walk, although Mr. Hsu wasn’t really blocking his way.
“You think my daughter is for sale?”
Brent reached into his jacket for his checkbook. “Not at all, sir…”
***
Charles Hsu later said he thought Brent was going for a weapon.
“Were you intimidated by him?” the detective asked.
“Very,” Charles Hsu said. “From the first day my daughter returned home from California, we’ve been concerned that he would come back to do her harm.” He lowered his head and started to cry. “I’m so sorry. So sorry.”
***
Pam was sitting on the veranda with the fire pit going full blast. It was the perfect kind of night to have a fire, chilly but
summer
chilly. She was dressed to perfection, as she always was, although she’d soon be washing the makeup off and going to bed alone. Pulling a shawl around her shoulders tightly, she leaned forward to pick up her glass of wine. It was a nice wine from upstate; her friend Jeff gave it to her. It was taking the edge off her angst.
She wondered what her children were doing. Dan was probably at Lisa’s, a situation over which she had no control. She hoped Dan offered Lisa the companionship she hadn’t gotten from Ed, and that guilt wouldn’t destroy her. Lisa still had her husband’s funeral to get through, and that might just be the beginning of her grief. It was a different experience for every person.
Her son was moving on, too. She’d never addressed his issues with Julie, deciding it wasn’t her business, after all. Brent left the beach house with a car full of stuff he was moving to Jack’s old place, planning to spend tonight there. He’d return to get the rest of his belongings, but she thought he would probably never sleep in his old bed again. It made her sad. From the time they were born, Pam’s life revolved around her children. She loved every minute of it, never begrudging the time it took to take care of them. Looking back, her life was full of excitement and happiness because of Lisa and Brent.
But they had to grow up and leave her eventually. Her children were experiencing grown-up issues. It was impossible to protect them from pain or harm. She’d done the best she could raising them, and now they were on their own. Hopefully, their lives would only get better.
With that thought echoing in her head, an unmarked police car pulled up in front of Pam’s house. Andy Andretti, a detective with the Babylon police force, sat for a few moments, gathering his courage. He read the report in his hand over again, preparing to deliver the worst news a parent could ever get.
Look out for the next Pam book in the series
#7 coming soon!
Also by Suzanne Jenkins
Pam of Babylon
is the first installment of the
Pam of Babylon
series. Although it may be read as a stand-alone novel, character development is on the continuum of all five books in the series. The following are the
Pam of Babylon
series, available on Kindle and in paperback on Amazon.com. Follow the links to Amazon.
#1
Pam of Babylon
Long Island housewife Pam Smith is called to the hospital after her husband Jack suffers a heart attack on the train from Manhattan. It is the beginning of a journey of self-discovery and sadness, growth and regrets, as she realizes a wife and mother’s worst nightmare.
#2
Don’t You Forget About Me
The family begins to sift through the evidence of a life of deceit, putting together the pieces left behind by Jack.
#3
Dream Lover
A gritty, realistic portrait of the aftermath of deceit, more pieces of the puzzle come together as the women each attempt to go on living in the wake of despair. More characters are introduced, including Ashton.