Authors: Adina Senft
“Will you not apologize to your brother and sister, and be in good fellowship with them again?”
Come on, Emma. This can all be smoothed over if you’ll just say two little words. Whether you mean them or not is between you and God.
T
he silence crept in, behind the wind and the sound of the leaves being tweaked from the trees.
Bishop Daniel’s gaze did not leave Emma’s face. “Emma, when you came to us asking for our approval to sell your book to these
Englisch
people, you remember that you made us a promise.”
Emma chewed on her bottom lip. “Yes.”
“Can you tell us all what it was?”
“I promised that I would not let worldly ideas take root in my mind, and that I would remember that my place is here and only I can fill it.”
Carrie risked a glance at Will Esch. She expected him to look triumphant. Instead, he only looked troubled.
“Would you not say that this business with Alvin was prompted by worldly ideas? Ideas about schooling and a man’s place in the world?”
“I suppose,” Emma said, so quietly that if Carrie had been standing a foot farther away, she would not have heard her.
“God does not want a service that has to be extracted from people by threats. But I will offer that reminder.”
“She sold a book? To
Englisch
people?” Will said as though his mind had got hung up on that and hadn’t moved any farther. “And you gave your approval for this?”
“I did, and it is not your concern,” the bishop told him. “Your boy’s education is what we’re discussing here.”
“But it’s all of a piece,” Will said. “This New York business. Planting crazy ideas in my son’s head. Next we’ll hear that she’s planning to send Grant Weaver’s children to the public school in Whinburg.”
Amelia reached out and gripped Emma’s wrist—and just in time, too. Emma’s mouth was already open on an angry breath.
She closed it with a click of her teeth.
Bishop Daniel seemed to think it was better to let the wind carry such talk away, too. “I remind you of your promise, Emma, and remind you that what the elders approved, they can also disapprove.”
“The book was sold some time ago,” Emma said, her voice scratchy with the need to keep her composure. Carrie and Amelia both swung to gawk at her.
And when had she been planning to share this with them? They should have been laughing and crying around the quilting frame, hugging each other in joy, instead of standing here frozen, hearing the words dragged out of Emma in front of such an unsympathetic audience.
“That is beside the point,” Bishop Daniel said. “I don’t want this to go so far as Council Meeting when all our brother desires of you is repentance. Wouldn’t you rather give that gift to him here and receive his forgiveness than have to go down on your knees in front of the entire
Gmee
and confess to what you have done?”
Carrie’s cheeks prickled as the blood drained from them. Surely not. Surely this little tiff between neighbors would not escalate to a public confession? How would Grant feel to see his wife of only a few days on her knees on the floor of Moses Yoder’s barn? How would that affect the girls, knowing their new mother had had to undergo such a trial?
Emma lifted her head and met Will Esch’s gaze. “I am sorry for helping Alvin, Will,” she said in a monotone, almost exactly like the dial tone on the phone in the shanty out on the highway. “Please forgive me.”
He took a deep breath and released it. “I do.” Then he said, “It is a whole sacrifice. You have already said that Alvin will not receive help from you in the future.”
“
Nei
.”
“Then I am satisfied.” He held out his hand, and after a moment, Emma shook it.
She stared blindly into the distance while the bishop exchanged a few words with Will and Kathryn, and Amelia gently took her arm and moved a few steps away. Then another few steps. Carrie took her other arm, and between them, got Emma away from the house and out into the yard, where Eli had just loaded Elam and Matthew into the buggy.
“You came so close to losing everything you worked and prayed so hard for in the summer,” Amelia told her urgently. “Don’t throw away your harvest now.”
“I lied,” Emma whispered. “I lied so that Will Esch would be satisfied.”
“You said the words that would give him peace,” Carrie told her.
“But who will give me my peace?” Emma turned away, pulling her shawl around her shoulders. “I’m going home.”
When Grant came out with his children to fetch the horse and hitch up the buggy, Amelia and Eli had gone, and it fell to Carrie to tell him where his fiancée was.
“Walking home? In this cold?” Grant handed his little son, Zachary, to Carrie while he backed the horse between the rails. “I hope I can catch up with her, then.”
“Be gentle with her,” Carrie said quietly, thankful the two little girls were busy climbing into the buggy and arguing over who was going to sit next to Daed in the front. “I don’t know which was worse—having the bishop threaten to take away his permission about her book, or having Will get her back up so bad she’d have to make a public confession before Communion. There was even some talk about this affecting your wedding.”
“Nothing can affect our wedding except for Bishop Daniel refusing to perform it. And I don’t think it would come to that.”
“I wouldn’t have put it past Will Esch to insist that it be delayed until Emma was brought to her senses.”
“He does not have that power.”
Carrie wondered about that. “He sure seems to have an influence on Daniel.”
“Any strong personality does. I often wish…” Grant’s voice trailed away. “Never mind. Daniel was chosen by lot to be bishop, and it’s not for us to question God’s will.”
Carrie smiled. “Melvin says that if he’s ever tempted to, it would be an open invitation for the lot to fall on him.”
Grant climbed into the buggy next to his eldest daughter, who had evidently won the fight. “If anyone is suited to be a preacher, it’s Melvin.” He raised a hand, and Carrie looked over her shoulder to see her husband coming across the yard to get their own horse. “There is a work frolic on Saturday at the Stolzfus place. We will see you there.”
The Stolzfus place already sparkled like a new pin thanks to Karen, but the benches had to be set up in the barn, and the upper floor given a final cleaning before the girls hung decorations.
Carrie stepped back as Grant clicked his tongue and the buggy started forward. Melvin came up behind her and put his hands on her shoulders.
“Emma’s not going with him? And the wedding only a few days away?”
She leaned into him so that his beard brushed the organdy of her
Kapp
. “He’ll catch up to her.” And then she surprised them both by turning and giving him a kiss, quick as the touch of a butterfly’s wing. “
Denki
for not being a proud man.”
He looked astonished, as well he might. “What brought this on?”
“I’ll tell you at home.
Kumm mit
, let’s go find our horse before it rains.”
* * *
Amelia glanced at the clock over the stove and then at Carrie. “Where do you suppose she is? Emma’s never late on Tuesdays.”
“With her wedding next week, do you need to ask? Or have you forgotten those days so soon?” Carrie teased.
“I haven’t forgotten. In fact, we still have wedding visits to pay to some of Eli’s family in Maryland. But that wasn’t what I was thinking of.” She walked through to the sitting room, where the windows overlooked the yard and the lane.
“You were thinking of Sunday.” Carrie followed her, pausing to gaze out at the familiar view.
“You don’t think she’s angry with me, do you?” Amelia crossed her arms and rubbed them as though she were cold, but the woodstove was going and it was toasty in the house despite the rain spattering on the windows.
“Nobody could be angry with you,” Carrie reassured her.
“But what if she was offended? She thinks I told her to lie in order to make peace. What if she thinks I sided with Will Esch instead of standing by her like a friend should?”
“A good friend gives the counsel we
need
to hear, not what we
want
to hear.”
“She may not appreciate that.” Amelia’s shoulders drooped while she gazed down the empty lane. Then she shook herself. “We should get started or we won’t accomplish anything today. I’ll walk over tomorrow and make sure she’s all right.”
They had barely sat down at the quilting frame when the sound of footsteps thudded on the stairs. “There she is.” Amelia ran down, Carrie right behind her. “How did she come? Surely she didn’t walk in this rain?”
The door opened, and Carrie practically skidded to a halt on polished floorboards that were still a little damp from Amelia’s arrival. “Joshua!”
“And me.” Emma came in behind him, rain dripping off the brim of her away bonnet. “Carrie, we’re going to need a towel. I feel like I’ve been swimming.”
“Hello, Joshua,” Amelia said. “
Denki
for bringing her safely.”
“I was on my way to town and saw her climb out of the creek bed next to the highway.”
“You make me sound like a fox or a weasel living in the culvert.” Emma shook water from her coat out on the porch and then hung it on the tree next to the door. “But thank you for the ride.” She took the rag Carrie offered and mopped up the puddles.
“Would you like a hot drink to warm up with?” The girls could get started on the quilting while she attended to Joshua. After his carelessness from the other week, Carrie couldn’t let a good deed go unrewarded.
“Not me. I’m having dinner in Strasburg.”
Which was in the other direction. From under her lashes, Carrie saw Emma and Amelia school their features to smiling acceptance without so much as the lift of a brow.
“You’ll have a wet ride.”
“So will everyone on the roads today.
Guder Owed
.”
“
Guder Owed
,” they chorused softly, and Carrie closed the door behind him.
“Dinner in Strasburg, but he’s going to Whinburg first?” Emma asked no one in particular.
“He’d be picking up his date,” Amelia said.
“Who is probably Lydia Zook,” Carrie added. “Who has likely never been to a restaurant in Strasburg in her life.”
“So it’s true,” Amelia said quietly. “They make a very odd couple.”
“They could have picked another afternoon for a date. A Tuesday? In a downpour?” Emma shook her head. “It was nice of him to give me a ride, though. I wouldn’t have made it yet. That’ll teach me to start a job I can’t finish before it’s time to go. Come on. Let’s get to work.”
The relief on Amelia’s face at Emma’s natural tone told its own story. If Emma chose to bring up what had happened, then she would. Until then, Carrie decided, she wouldn’t say a word to upset the balance.
They settled into the rhythm of the stitching, loading needles and progressing around the whorls and curves of the flower patterns an inch at a time. It was soothing work, keeping the hands busy while ruffled spirits soaked in the quiet and the sound of the rain.
“You did the right thing,
Liewi
,” Emma said quietly.
Carrie sifted through all the “right things” she could mean, but Amelia got there first.
“I was afraid I had offended you. Put Will Esch before you.”
“Grant came over yesterday and we talked it out. He made me see that I was setting my opinions higher than the feelings of others. I may think that I was doing right for Alvin last year, and Alvin may think so, but if his family and the church don’t think so, then that’s that.”
“We’re a conservative district,” Carrie ventured. “It would not be wrong somewhere else, maybe, but it is here.”
“It’s wrong plenty of places,” Emma said. “But what’s even more wrong is me putting myself above the boy’s father. He was right to ask for my repentance.”
“Let’s put it behind us.” Amelia reached across the quilt to touch her hand. “Now, what’s this about your book? I nearly fell over when you blurted out that you had sold it.”
“Technically, Tyler West sold it.” Emma smiled at them, and Carrie rejoiced to see that it reached her eyes and brimmed over. “And just in time, too. The bank had already sent Grant a second ‘payment due’ letter in glaring red type. He was able to take the book contract down to the bank and tell them that the check was on its way.”
“And you will have a home to move into next week.” Carrie clasped her hands against her chest, as if to keep the joy inside. But it still came out in her voice. “I’m so glad. I’ve been trying not to think of what we would do if you had to move to Paradise or…or somewhere even farther away.”
“I couldn’t think of it,” Emma said bluntly. “Somehow I felt that if God even heard a whisper of it in my mind, He might take it as a prayer and answer it.”
“Well, now your prayers will be full of thanks,” Amelia said. “Ours, too.”
Silence fell again, filled with the warmth of happiness and a feeling of safety.
We will not be separated.
Carrie’s heart lifted.
No matter what happens in this life, we will be together to help one another. Each of us experiences life’s trials in a different way, but somehow it all pools together so that each of us has help to offer when we need it.
“Amelia,” she said slowly, “when you were going through such a hard time last winter, how did you get through it?”
“Prayer,” she answered. “Lots and lots of it. If I couldn’t have brought that burden to God, I don’t know what I would have done. It was like trying to walk through the orchard at night—every time I tried to take a step, I ran into something hard and it hurt.”
“That’s exactly how I feel,” Carrie said eagerly. “Every time I try to get anywhere with this IVF possibility, I run into a tree.”
Emma and Amelia exchanged a silent glance. Carrie would have missed it if she had been stitching the way she was supposed to.
But she did not miss it.
“I know what you’re thinking,” she said. “That you’ve given me the counsel I need, not what I want. But I still think you’re wrong.” She paused a moment. They may as well know it all. “Bishop Daniel is, too. Having children is a woman’s matter, and shouldn’t fall under an
Ordnung
made by men.”
“Men who have been prompted by God,” Emma said quietly. “Carrie, please don’t pursue this. I put myself above Will Esch…but you’re putting yourself above Bishop Daniel—and God.”