The things we do for love. (11 page)

“I’ve got surgery this morning but my afternoon is free.” Luke said now.

Already his mind beginning to form plans. Though how he was going to pull any of them off was beyond him right now, He would think of something.

“Well then, why are you standing around here doing nothing. Go get the girl and get out of my kitchen. You are making the place look untidy.” Vera complained.

“I’m going.” Luke told her and made his way out of the room.

Chapter 14.

Cassie massaged her forehead with firm fingers. She hadn’t managed a wink of sleep all night because her mind had tortured her with thoughts about Luke.

She had taunted herself with images of the two of them naked. Skin sliding on skin. Luke’s hands on her body.

Cassie stopped her train of thought right there. She could feel her body begin to ache. She was going quite mad.

These fantasies that were weaving through her thoughts were not like her at all and it disconcerted her that she was having them.

Nobody had ever made her feel like this and it made her feel exposed, powerless to protect herself from the intensity of her feelings or the magnetism Luke seemed to have.

Not that she hadn’t felt physical sexual attraction, she was twenty-seven for heaven sake. But it had been nothing like this. She had never experienced anything so intense. So all consuming.

The truth was that Luke seemed to have power over her. A power that no one had ever had over her. Boy was she ever in trouble.

“Cassie.” Faye’s voice broke through her thoughts and she jumped. Her raw nerves jangled and she took a moment to compose herself before turning towards the kitchen door.

“Sorry, did you say something?” Cassie watched her sister appear in the doorway before she stepped into the kitchen. She looked her sister up and down before asking her. “What are you wearing?”

What she was wearing was a black lace top, a black skirt. Or maybe belt was a better description. And big menacing looking black boots with many large silver buckles. It really made her hair stand out and the rest of her to.

“You don’t like it?” Faye asked her.

“Are you sure you want to wear that. Perhaps something a little more…” She shrugged.

“You are so old.” Faye complained.

“Maybe. But I think you should still change into something that is a little less… and a little more…” Cassie pulled a face.

“Demure.” Faye suggested.

“I would settle for normal.” She told her sister. “You have to go through a metal detector.”

“That’s why I am wearing it. Might as well make the security guards work for their money.” She told Cassie.

“They work hard enough without you toying with them.” Cassie sighed.

“You look pale.” Faye observed.

It threw Cassie for a moment. Faye never normally noticed anything unless it had something to do with her. Or, something in it for her.

“I feel pale.” She told her. Not to mention tired, and washed out. But she kept quiet. Faye didn’t much care, Cassie was under no illusions there.

“Are you sure you’re alright?” Faye asked her with a worried frown on her face as she looked Cassie up and down. “Ooh, coffee.”

Faye’s mind was already diverted elsewhere as she spied the percolator and began busying herself with making a cup of coffee. “Need another refill?” She turned to Cassie with the coffee jug in her hand. The brown liquid sloshing around.

“No thanks I’ve already had three.” Cassie told her sister.

“You must be buzzing.” Faye gasped. “It’s not like you to drink so much coffee.” It was true that it was unlike Cassie to drink so much coffee. Usually one cup was her limit in the morning.

This morning though, Cassie had desperately needed a pick me up and there had been no chocolate in the house. Faye had probably eaten the last and so coffee had been a convenient substitute. At least until she went to the shop which, Cassie was planning on doing right after Faye left.

“Not as much as you might think.” And it was true. She wasn’t even suffering a headache like she normally did when she drank too much coffee. Her body had obviously needed it just as much as her emotions had.

“Huh.” Faye looked at her with a puzzled look.

“I didn’t manage any sleep at all last night.” Cassie told her sister and pulled a wry face at her.

Faye finished stirring her coffee really loudly and then threw the spoon into the sink. It landed with a loud clank. “Do you have to?” Cassie asked her sister.

“Soz.” She told her.

“What does that mean?” Cassie frowned at her sister.

“Sorry.” Faye said.

“You really need to shorten sorry to soz? How lazy.” She admonished her sister.

“How old fashioned of you. We are the same age aren’t we?” Faye complained.

“I am beginning to wonder.” 

“Why didn’t you sleep?” Faye asked. 

“It doesn’t matter.” Cassie fidgeted uncomfortably.

“No, go on.”

“It is nothing. Drop it.”

“You’re not seeing someone are you. Have you met someone.” Cassie looked up at Faye. She could see the worry in the other girl’s eyes. Not a normal reaction but then Faye wasn’t normal.

“No.” Cassie quickly reassured her.

“Oh thank heaven for that.” Faye relaxed. See, thought Cassie, not normal at all.

Though Cassie understood, Faye was worried that Cassie might start changing, that some man might be able to convince her to stand up to her and then Faye would not have her convenient little slave anymore. That’s why the relationships Cassie had managed to have had all ended in disaster. Faye had worked hard to split them up.

“Don’t worry, I am not planning on meeting anyone. There’s enough work in my studio to last me the next couple of years at least.” She told her.

“So then, if it’s not that? What is it?”

“I told you, nothing.” Cassie felt the warmth in her cheeks. She wished Faye would just drop it.

“You’re still not worrying about me are you? I told you Dad is going to meet me at the airport. Everything will be fine and I promise not to get myself into any trouble.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep.” Cassie said.

“Look it’s not like I am going to hijack the plane or anything.” Cassie groaned aloud. Cassie didn’t want to hear those sorts of joke’s, not from Faye. She hadn’t given such acts a thought, but now. “I won’t I promise.” Faye held up her hands as if she were surrendering.

“Do not even make a joke about it.” She warned as she fixed Faye with a strict warning look.

“You really have a bad view of me don’t you.” Faye looked shocked, although how she could be, was beyond Cassie. Didn’t she know how badly she could behave?

Cassie studied her sister for a moment, taking in the garish strict hair and the black tacky tasteless clothes. She looked almost gothic in appearance. It may have not been to Cassie’s taste but it did seem to suit her mood.

“Well... perhaps even you couldn’t be that stupid.” She conceded, or she wasn’t that clever. It very much depended on perspective.

“Well gee thanks sis. Just once I wish you’d show a little faith in me.” Faye sulked like a child. She had it down to a fine art. She’d had lots of practice.

“I’m sorry Faye. I just...” she let her voice trail off.

“I have made things impossible for you recently haven’t I?” Faye sat at the table. Cassie winced audibly at the sound of the chair scraping along the floor. Couldn’t she pick the chair up and move it?

“It hasn’t been an easy time.” Cassie agreed.

“So then you should be happy that I’m going away for a while.” Faye took a sip of her coffee, she even did that noisily, Cassie gritted her teeth tightly together.

“I am.” Cassie assured her sister and quietly pulled out the opposite chair, quietly, to sit down. “I just don’t think you have thought this through.”

“What’s there to think about?”

“We hardly know the man.” She began.

“He is our father.” Faye reminded her quietly.

“I know but the fact remains that he wasn’t there when we were growing up.” She began again.

“Mum didn’t exactly let him.” Faye jumped to his defence.

“That’s not fair Faye. He could have contacted us at any time. Mum couldn’t have stopped him. She wouldn’t have stopped him. She always wanted him back.” Cassie wasn’t prepared to let go of that point no matter what Faye said.

She had spent far too many times listening to her mother cry when she was drunk. In fact, the reason she had started drinking was because their father had left. Their mother had never gotten over it, never.

“I think Mum and Dad got many things wrong Cassie.”

“Yes but at least Mum tried.” Cassie argued.

“And when did she do that Cass? When she was plastered? When she was letting any Tom, Dick and Harry stay here? Or perhaps when she took herself off for weekends without telling us where she was? Or maybe it was when she was experimenting with drugs? Do you think she was trying when she was lining up the coke on the coffee table?” Faye’s bitter words stung Cassie as though they had been physical blows.

“Faye.” Cassie began.

“No, face facts. Mum spent most of our childhood so drunk or so high that she couldn’t tell us what day of the week it was. You brought me up because Mum couldn’t.”

“She had… problems.” Cassie tried to defend.

“You had to clean up after her.” Faye pointed out. “You cleaned up after me.” She sighed heavily.

“I know. But Mum couldn’t help it. If Dad hadn’t left.” Cassie sounded bitter.

“It’s not his fault. She kicked him out.”

“She never got over him leaving her. Leaving us.”

“Dad tells it different.”

“He would.” She scoffed.

“Cass, we were too young to remember what went on. We can’t believe everything Mum told us.”

“And we can’t believe everything Dad tells us.”

“No but, between the two there must be enough to piece it together and find the truth.”

Cassie opened her mouth to argue but closed it again. What would be the point and actually Faye made sense, something that Cassie wasn’t used to.

“Yeah, you are right. I guess. The fact remains that he’s had all this time and he didn’t bother with us. It’s not like we moved address.”

“Cassie, he is still our father.”

“A father that wasn’t there for us.” Cassie told her.

“Let’s face it mother wasn’t there for us either.” Faye clasped her hands together and readied herself for Cassie’s anger. She was not disappointed.

“That’s not true.” Cassie jumped to the defence of their mother instantly, though she knew deep down that she was not worthy of it.

“Yes it is. And you know it.” Faye shot back at her.

“She just…” But Cassie stopped. She just… what? There really was no excuse, and Cassie knew that.

But Cassie felt the need to defend their mother. After all, she had died several years ago and was no longer able to defend herself or explain her decisions and actions.

Cassie stopped herself from shouting at Faye. Cassie hated to admit it but Faye was right. Their mother hadn’t really been there for them. Not really. She had been physically here and nothing more.

She had spent most of her time using alcohol to block out her pain. The pain of losing their father had been too much for her and she had sought solace from a bottle.

Their mother had never got over the breakdown of her relationship with their father and Cassie had never forgiven either of them for the part they both had played in her and her sister’s childhood.

Cassie had spent most of her time looking after her sister and looking after their mother who had been drunk by lunchtime most days.

Cassie shook her head to clear the memories. Going over it all again wouldn’t change anything. Cassie needed to concentrate on here and now.

“I don’t want to fight with you. My taxi will be here soon and I won’t be around for a few months. I don’t want the last things we say to each other to be angry.” Faye smiled sadly at her sister.

“I don’t either.” Cassie told her sister. “I am going to miss you.”

“It’s not too late to change your mind. You could come with me. I know you couldn’t stay long what with work but you could take a couple of days surely.” Faye asked looking hopeful but Cassie was already shaking her head.

“I can’t afford the time off work and you know why.”  She sighed.

“What’s the point of being self-employed if you never get to take time off. I thought the whole point of you being freelance was that you got to choose your hours.”

“And it was.”

“So then, what happened?”

“You happened.” Cassie pointed out. “Besides I’m not ready for meeting Dad yet. I need more time.”

“Of course. You got the address and you have my number so... you know... call.” Faye stood up and Cassie followed suit.

Faye threw her arms around her sister and hugged her tightly and Cassie felt a wave of emotion engulf her. She really would miss her. “It’s not forever.” Faye reassured her as if reading her thoughts and Cassie smiled and hugged her sister tighter.

“Don’t do anything stupid.”

“I won’t.”

“I won’t be able to get you out of trouble.” Cassie whispered in her sister’s ear and she was rewarded by a momentary tighter hug. She felt her sister smile.

“I promise to do my utmost best.” Faye told Cassie.