Once the three had undressed and begun to shower, they realized that this would be the last time they would ever be completely alone. As soon as they put their clothes on and went back to their cells, the television technicians would invade their privacy, Victor would make a last minute visit, and other media advisors would be waiting to tell them how to act and behave on national TV lest the fifteen-second delay be used to remove them from the TV screens while cosmeticians prepared them to appear as stunning as possible. “On TV, good women are beautiful, but evil women are stunning,” Regina explained. There in the showers, as naked as when they had come into the world, and preparing to leave this world, the three had their final private conversation before the
Festivities began.
“I know they let us have that orgy just to torture us,” complained Coito, standing beneath the cold shower. “I was still going strong when they stopped us, and could’ve kept on for the rest of the night. Why didn’t they let us keep on going ’till we had heart attacks and died happily ever after? It certainly would’ve been a better way to go than what they have prepared
for us.”
“But they couldn’t’ve shown it on TV,”
interjected Regina.
“Unfortunately. Christ on crutches, if I don’t stay under this shower for another five minutes, I’m liable to attack the first man I see when I get out. How we ever made it through the past seven months, I’ll
never know.”
“They just wanted to let us remember how good it was so we’d suffer all day tomorrow. Today we burn in passion, tomorrow we burn at the stake,”
said Theodora.
“Well, at least they let us have the orgy. You have to look on the bright side,” pointed out Regina. “If you ask me, it seemed more like a final human ecstasy which they allowed us to enjoy. I don’t know about you, but I feel great, and if this orgy was all Victor ever did for us in the past seven months, he’s got to have some redeeming values. Anyone who can make you feel on top of the world twelve hours before you’re to be executed can’t be all bad. Come on, Thea, cheer up. I still wonder how Victor got the military to permit our
sinful saturnalia.”
“Money talks, my dear,” said Theodora, still washing her dark hair underneath
the shower.
“Money doesn’t talk, it screams,” countered K. “It still makes me mad he never answered my questions about his role in the Festivities,” said Coito who had turned more serious upon hearing Victor’s name. “Don’t worry, though, he’s not going to get out of our cell until I get the facts from him. If I don’t get the truth out of him tonight, I never will, and besides, what’s he got to hide? So maybe he helped make up the Festivities so he could get more money selling our souvenirs, then why won’t he just admit it? If I’m going to be used, I at least want to know how and why. And if I have to beat him to a pulp, I’m going to find out what he’s done
to us.”
“Come on, K, at least let me live these final hours in peace,” Theodora requested, turning her shower off. “If you and Victor start in on each other, you two’ll come to blows like you always do, and you’ll be bitching about him all during the Festivities. Personally, I’d rather not spend my last hours listening to your
snide remarks.”
“Thea, I already said I was going to behave on TV since they’d just cut us off if I didn’t. And I’m not going to let Victor ruin my day tomorrow. All he’ll do is admit he used us, and that’ll satisfy my suspicions. I just want to find out the truth,
that’s all.”
“Yes, but saying nothing will happen between you two and nothing happening are two completely different things,” added Theodora. “Besides, getting him to admit his role is not going to change anything, and there’s not much we can do about our fates now, so what’s the point? Right now I feel fine, which rather amazes me when I realize I’ll be dead in a few hours. I’m at peace, and I’d like to stay that way if you don’t
mind, K.”
Theodora walked out of the shower room and placed her feet on one of the benches so she could start drying off. Coito and Regina followed her and began to dry themselves off as well. A minute’s silence passed between them, but K noticed a serious mien coming over Theodora’s face. Standing akimbo, Coito yelled out in disapproval, “I know that look on your face, Theodora Suora. You’re having profound thoughts
about something.”
Theodora realized K had not heard a word she had said. She spun around quickly and addressed Coito sharply. “And why
shouldn’t I?”
“Because it brings out your worst qualities,” callipygian K told her. “Look, if I can avoid my cynicism tomorrow, at least you can do me the privilege of not going Russian on me. Bad things always happen to serious people,
you know.”
“K, I hardly think putting on a happy face is going to bring us a happy ending,” Theodora said brusquely. “We don’t exactly have a lot of control over our fates at
this point.”
“OK, but why should you ruin my last twenty-four hours by being serious?” demanded Coito, now completely dried off.
“Enjoy yourself.”
“Why ruin
your
last twenty-four hours? What about
my
last twenty-four hours?” Thea paused for a second, then exploded. “Why won’t you just let me be for once? Let me do what I want? Ever since I met you, you’ve been trying to tell me how to think, act, and behave. And that’s all you’re really interested in, isn’t it? You just want to be surrounded by a bunch of empty-headed cynical clones, not people who are different from you. You may talk about rebelling or being original, but what have you ever really done about it? Not much as far as I can see. If you’d’ve spent as much of your life trying to understand the world or to create something original as you have trying to destroy what other people have thought or done, you might have made something of yourself, K. But instead, you just went around trying to get everybody to be as cynical as you. Everything you ever did was at someone else’s expense, never for
their benefit.”
“Oh, Christ Jesus, Thea, come on,” screamed Coito, throwing her towel against
the wall.
“Why should one always be cynical and never serious? You have to balance the two, K, but you’ve never thought about that, have you? How much longer would you have gone on with this preoccupation of yours with destroying what everyone else believes in? And look where it got you…and me. It was your pride that got us here, and you know it, so why can’t you ever admit you were wrong? But I guess that wouldn’t fit your self-image.” Coito was silent. “What’s the matter, am I too serious, too direct for you? You may pretend you’re always the little rebel, K, but you can’t fool me. K, I never told you, but I met someone who knew you back in Chicago. She told me how seriously you took Catholicism at
one point.”
“It’s a lie,”
lied Coito.
“But when you began to question your beliefs, all you saw around you were your father and other hypocrites who only made you rebel more. So instead of just becoming a non-believer, you became a dedicated atheist in college. But then you pushed your rebellion too far. You got kicked out of school and quit the convent. OK, I can understand that, but that was years ago, K. I think you would have changed since then if you weren’t so concerned with what other people thought about you. Of course, you always put on like you were an atheist from the day you left your mother’s womb, but it’s just not so, K, and you know it. So life at home wasn’t easy? Join the club. That doesn’t mean you have to make life difficult for everyone else.” Coito was still silent. “Why do intellectuals like you let their pride get in the way of using their brains? Because the world’s not perfect, you protect yourself from it with cynicism. You could’ve done so much, K.” Another pause. “I guess I’m being too hard on you, but really, K, these past seven months with you haven’t been the easiest. Look, I don’t think you, me, or Regina deserves what’s coming to us, but something had to give sooner or later. You have to admit you really got away with a lot for a while, but face it, K, you couldn’t’ve gone on for the rest of your life like you owned
the world.”
“I know,” admitted a downcast Coito, sitting on one of the two benches and looking at the floor, “and I apologize. I’ve been thinking the past couple weeks and realized just what you’ve said. You’ve probably told me the same thing a hundred times, but I never listened to you. I—I was wrong. My cynicism got the best of me, and I guess I could’ve, should’ve done more. I guess it’s easy to say I’d’ve done it all differently now, and maybe I would’ve with hindsight.” Coito laughed suddenly. “Look at me, even now I’m too concerned about what you’re going to think about me to say what I really think, but if I could go back or have a second chance, I would try and do things differently, really. I mean, rebelling or being cynical for its own sake was futile. Maybe I could’ve done more, but I’ll never know now. But I don’t think I should feel sorry about my past. I mean, I probably had more fun, did more things than
90
percent of the people my age. But yes, I could’ve—should’ve—done things differently. You two have meant everything to me, and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you that a thousand times before. I—we—had a good life; it just ended
too soon.”
“Just think of all you could’ve done,” pleaded Theodora once again. “You know, I think I spend half my time hating you and half my time loving you. When Victor gives us a new assignment, I’m always amazed at how quickly you come up with new ideas. They leap from your head like Athena springing fully formed from Zeus. I think it would take me a year to think up the ideas you can create in a day. I both admire you and am jealous at the same time, but then you don’t follow through. It’s creativity for its own sake, but there’s more to life than that. Whether your life has been a success or not depends solely upon you. If all you want out of life is to be cynical, or be rich, or just enjoy life, fine, but you could do much more than that. You can’t just meet your own personal goals. There are other people in the world, K, and you have to think of
them too.
“In a godless universe, the one you and I live in, you have to create your own meaning for life. You have to reason things out and not accept any point dogmatically. Truth is multifaceted, and consequently, the meaning and purpose of life changes as each individual is born and grows up. In the final analysis, there are only three things that are really important: life, other people, and the universe around us. That’s it, K, but therein lies everything which gives existence
its meaning.”
“And look where your world has gotten us,” retorted K. “Life and other people? They’ll be stolen from us in a few hours. And as for reason, we’ve seen a fine lot of it around here of late. You think the world operates by altruistic reasoning? Don’t make me laugh. Just take a look around you—Congress, the news media, Victor and his robber barons, the TV ministers and their self-righteous brothers in Christ, the bureaucracy. Face it, Theodora, we’ve been used since the day we were arrested, since the day we were born. And you don’t have to point your finger at me. I know I did, have done the same thing. I used others too. I loved the Confessions, all the publicity, all the potential fame and fortune from the souvenirs. Anyone can dream up how things should be, like you did in your book, but only one in a million can actually change how
things are.”
“I know that, K, but that’s no reason to give in. I can still cling to the hope that maybe I did some good, that maybe some people will get something out of my book, that maybe I changed the world a little. I don’t know, maybe I’m just as guilty as all the rest. I’d’ve liked to have done a lot more with my life, we all would’ve, but at least I tried, K, at least
I tried.”
The three stopped talking and began to put on their clothes. Several minutes later, the three heard a noise
from outside.
“Aaaannn.”
“I can’t believe it,” screamed Regina out of joy. “That was Sister Carla. It had to be.” Regina quickly grabbed the rest of her clothes and ran out as she was. Coito and Theodora put their remaining clothes on and followed her out a couple minutes later. When Regina emerged from the showers, the hallway was already crowded with guards and TV technicians who were preparing for the Festivities. The empty building of only a couple hours before had been turned into a bustling, disorderly madhouse by the media. Being half-dressed, Regina received a few curious looks and several camera flashes, but she paid them no notice. Her sole interest was in finding
Sister Carla.
“Aaann,” Regina heard Sister Carla’s call again and headed straight for their now clean cell where the noise had come from. She looked down the hall, and inside their cell were Victor and Sister Carla. Regina ran down the hall, past the four guards guarding, and into the cell where she found Sister Carla. Nervous with excitement, the penguin did a bobbing dance while flapping
her flippers.
“Sister Carla!” Regina exclaimed. “I never thought I’d see you again.” The cell door was open so TV technicians could measure distances for the cameras, set up lights, and prepare other details, but the apparent liberty allowing the three to wander from the shower into the hall and their cell was only an illusion, for guards guarding were stationed throughout the building with many more
waiting outside.
“See. Told you I’d get her down here. Admit it was later than sooner though. Told guards story about you and her. Convinced them to let
us through.”
“It’s really a nice surprise, Victor. Thanks a million,” said Regina who reached over and gave Victor a long, passionate kiss. “If I’d’ve known you were going to do this, I’d’ve invited you to
the orgy.”