“Brice, I only went out with a girlfriend from class.”
“I don’t give a fuck who she is. I told you to keep your ass here. See, you don’t listen to me, Mia. That’s your damn problem.”
“Brice, please!” By now he had backed me into the front door.
Brice mocked me as he said, “Brice, please . . . Don’t fucking, Brice, please, me!” Now he was in my face, screaming and looking at me with total, complete “I’m going to beat your ass” anger.
I tried to move away, but he blocked my path. There was noplace to go. I was trapped, so I started whimpering like a scared, helpless animal.
“You had better not start that crying. Do you hear me?”
I nodded my head as a ton of fresh tears streamed down my face.
“Brice, I’m sorry. If you don’t want me to go out with her without asking, then I won’t. Okay?”
I was so frightened that I would have said anything at that point.
He started pulling his belt out of his pants. “You . . . don’t . . . get . . . it . . . do . . . you?” He emphasized each word by jabbing me in my ribs with his finger. “I don’t want you going out with her. Period. How much plainer do I have to make it, Mia?”
“That’s not fair, Brice, and you know it. I have to have a life outside of us!” I screamed as I tried to push him out of my way.
He grabbed me and pushed me back into the door. “I’m not finished talking with you. Get your ass back over here before you make me use this belt. I’ll let you know when you can go.”
By now I was crying out of control.
Brice grabbed my chin and forced me to look at him. “Mia, you look at me when I talk to you. Do you understand what I just told you? Look at me!” he screamed as he tightened his viselike grip on my chin.
I couldn’t stand to see the man I loved treating me like this. I tried to pull away again, away from the fingers that were now prying into the tender flesh on my arm.
Brice turned as if to walk away and then turned back around and slapped the shit out of me with the back of his hand. Time stood still for a moment. My eyes bucked as I fell back, hard, against the wall. I started trembling, and he stood there in amazement.
I stood up on shaky legs, bolted and ran down the hallway into our bathroom, screaming “You bastard.You bastard.” I stayed in there throughout most of the night, crying. Brice had given up knocking on the door, trying to get me to come out. When it was early morning, I quietly came out when I was sure he was asleep. I got a pillow and blanket out of the hall closet and cried myself to sleep on the sofa.
Later that morning, I finally got up, bruised and aching.The apartment was dead silent and Brice was gone. When I looked in the mirror, I didn’t like what I saw. My eyes were swollen from all the crying, and there was a slight bruise on my left cheek. I found a note propped up on the kitchen counter stating that Brice had left a day early to go out on recruitment. He would call me. I slowly sank down onto the cold tile floor near the refrigerator. I had never felt more alone. No apologies, no I’m sorrys. Just . . . he would call me.
11
Christian
I
had tried calling Mia two or three times already, but no one answered. I kept getting their answering machine, and I knew she was home. Brice had called me earlier, sounding kinda strange, asking me to check on her. He said that he had called several times, but had gotten no answer. He had left several messages. That wasn’t like Mia, so I got dressed and headed over.
I had knocked and knocked, called out her name and was tempted to use the spare key that I had to their apartment when the door slowly opened. Mia looked awful. Her eyes were swollen like she had been crying, and her hair was sticking up all over her head. She walked slowly and stiffly back to the sofa as she self-consciously tried to brush her hair down with her hand. Mia hadn’t said anything yet. She just sat there and stared at me.
I looked back in shock. “Ahh, Mia, I was afraid something might be wrong. Brice asked me to check up on you.”
“I bet he did,” was all she said as she stared into space.
I was getting uncomfortable. “Look, Mia, is anything wrong? Is there anything I can do for you?”
“No thanks, Christian,” she said absently. “I don’t feel good. I think I’m coming down with something. I’ll just go back to bed.”
“Are you sure? Can I fix you something to eat or anything?”
“No, you’re sweet. Thanks anyway,” she said, still sitting there with no expression on her face.
“Is there anything I should tell Brice if he calls back?”
“Yeah, ask him how could he?” she said bitterly. “He’ll know what I mean.”
I said, “Okay. Listen, I’ll check back on you later. All right?”
“Yeah, thanks, Christian.”
When I quietly closed the door behind me she was still sitting in the exact same spot on the sofa, staring into space. What was that all about? That was some strange shit. As I made my way down the narrow stairs to my car, I passed one of Brice’s neighbors on the stairway. He asked, “Is she all right in there?”
“Who?” I asked.
“Brice’s wife. I don’t know her name.”
“Yeah, she’s fine. I just left their apartment.”
“I was wondering because last night I thought I was going to have to call the police.”
“Why?” I asked, dreading the answer I knew he would give.
“Brice was beating her ass, that’s why. It sounded like he was killing the poor thing. I felt sorry for her. He was screaming and cursing and she was crying. I could only imagine what he was doing to her.”
He stood there looking at me as if he expected a response.
I murmured, “She’s fine now.”
I couldn’t believe this. Brice had been fine, a little drunk maybe, but fine when I left him the night before. He was even talking about how he was going to spend more time with Mia and stop treating her like a child. I knew he wouldn’t do anything to jeopardize his relationship with her. Hell yeah, he was possessive and domineering when it came to Mia, but he wouldn’t hit her, would he? There had to be some sort of mistake.
Later that evening I went back over to Mia’s and brought her some Chinese food for dinner. I went over uninvited because I knew if I called she either wouldn’t answer the phone or would decline my offer of food. I took her some chicken chow mein with fried rice, egg-drop soup and egg rolls. She was surprised to see me again, but she did look better. Her hair was combed back into her usual ponytail, and her eyes weren’t as swollen as they had been earlier and the bruise on her face barely showed. I think she had applied some makeup to that.
Mia ate a little food and we sat around and watched TV. Some horror flick was on. I looked at her as she was lying on the sofa. Mia looked so innocent. She was like a child trying to play grown-up games with a very grown-up man. Brice had definitely been around.
Mia and I talked for a while and I found out that we had a lot in common. I even had her laughing at one point. She was relaxed, and I actually felt relaxed myself. It was like I didn’t have to be on guard with her. We were eating popcorn and getting ready to watch another horror movie when the phone rang. Mia’s entire demeanor changed, and she stiffened. She asked me to answer the phone for her. It was Brice, of course. We talked for a few minutes, and I told him she was fine and what she had said earlier. He got quiet at that. Brice wanted to talk to her, but Mia wouldn’t come anywhere near the phone. So finally we hung up.
I knew that the fun we were having earlier was over. Brice had totally affected Mia’s mood, so I decided it was time for me to go. Before I left, I did tell Mia that she couldn’t keep running from whatever was bothering her. Sooner or later she had to confront Brice, because he wouldn’t be gone forever. She just looked at me with sad eyes and said she knew.
As I walked slowly down the stairs to my car, I couldn’t help but think about Mia and her beautiful, sad, innocent eyes. Brice was a lucky man and didn’t even know it. He took everything for granted, as though he deserved whatever he got on a silver platter. For some reason I felt frustrated and antsy, so I decided I needed a good dose of Tasha. I stopped by her apartment, and she was just what the doctor ordered.
12
Brice
N
o, I’m not a monster. Believe it or not, I’m not a horrible person. I really didn’t mean to hit Mia. I don’t know what happened. Hell yeah, you best believe I was mad. I was so mad I was literally seeing red, but I also meant to walk away once Mia realized I meant business. One second I was turning to walk away and the next my open hand was meeting her face. And the expression on her face when it happened, it was a look that I will never forget. First a look of surprise, then shock and then pure, pure hatred. Hatred for me.
I tried to get Mia to come out of the bathroom and listen to me. I wanted to explain, but she wouldn’t leave the bathroom. She probably thought I would beat her ass some more. Mia cried most of the night—long, mournful sobs. I had to leave the next day anyway, so I decided to leave a little earlier in order to give her a chance to calm down. To be honest, I didn’t have the courage to face her the next morning, to see that look of hurt and hatred in her eyes. I left and asked Christian to check in on her. I don’t know what I would do without him.
I know I have to do better by Mia. She doesn’t deserve all this crap I put her through, and I know she gets lonely sometimes. I know that. I thought about her all day today. It hurt me that she wouldn’t come to the phone yesterday when Christian was over there. I have made a promise to myself, which I intend to keep, and that’s to start treating her like the princess she is and to stop taking her for granted. When I get back home and she accepts my apology, which I know she will, I’m going to take her away for a long weekend. She’ll like that, just the two of us.
If there is any consolation on my part, I did tell Mia to stay in. She was supposed to stay in and watch a movie, read or study or something. I’m not saying that she deserved what she got, but I did tell her. That’s her problem. She never listens. At least maybe now she will at least listen and understand that I mean what I say.
13
Mia
B
rice came home last night from his trip. I hadn’t even talked to him since the “incident.” I wasn’t ready to face him yet, but Christian was right: I had to sooner or later. I had thought long and hard about what happened, and it frightened me that he could get so mad that he would hit me. I knew that Brice had a temper, but I never thought that he would put his hands on me. Boy, was I wrong.
I didn’t know what time to expect him, so I ordered pizza and a Greek salad for myself. When Brice arrived I had eaten and was sitting in the living room in one of my Old Navy T-shirts watching a
New York Undercover
rerun; Malik is soooo sexy and fine with that bald head.
I heard Brice when he inserted his key in the lock and opened the door. He walked in carrying his overnight bag, and I didn’t even look up. He stood in the doorway for a few minutes, unsure of what to say or do. There was this long silence. I looked up and our eyes met briefly. Amazingly, I didn’t feel hate.Time had eased some of my pain, both mentally and physically. Brice spoke first.
He said, “Hi.”
“Hi,” I said without looking at him.
“How are you?”
“How do you think?” I asked, feeling some of my old anger resurface.
Brice slowly made his way over to near where I was still sitting on the sofa. He stopped at the recliner, faced me and stared at me for a few seconds with this apologetic look on his face.
“Listen, Mia, I’m sorry about what happened the other night. I didn’t mean for things to get so out of control. You have to believe me.” I still hadn’t responded or even blinked an eye.
“Say something. Curse, scream, say something baby. I was so angry, and on top of that, I was drunk. Things just got out of hand. I know I said and did a lot of stupid things.”
“How could you, Brice? I love you with all my heart and I would never do anything to hurt you. Why can’t you trust me? You are the one who’s gone all the time. How do I know you aren’t screwing somebody?”
Brice stared at me as he absorbed all this.
I continued. “I trust you, Brice. I know that you love me and only me.That’s why I trust you and want you to be happy and would never hurt you like you hurt me.”
“Tell me what can I do to make it up to you. I’ll do anything, baby. Just tell me.”
“Brice, I can’t tell you what to say or do. There’s really nothing you can say or do at this point. The damage has been done. I will never forget you hitting me.”
“Baby, at least say that you forgive me so that I can forgive myself.” At that he reached down to hug me. I roughly pushed him away, because I didn’t want him to touch me.
“Please, baby. I promise you that it will never happen again. I love you so much, and I don’t want to ever lose you. Say that you forgive me.”