I sat there and looked at him for a few seconds, wondering if he was sincere. I knew that he loved me. I really did know that much, if nothing else. But the rest of that BS . . . Would he hit me again when he let his temper get the best of him? Would he treat me better and spend more time with me? That remained to be seen.
“Brice, I forgive you, but I will not forget what you did. If you ever put your hands on me again . . . I will—and I mean it—I’ll leave your ass.”
I saw this sudden release in his posture, like he had been holding his breath and could exhale. “May I at least have a kiss?”
I slowly nodded my head, and Brice bent down and put his hand under my chin ever so gently and kissed me. I felt shudders go up and down my arms. I was actually trembling. It was a short, sweet kiss. He smelled and looked so good, and I had missed being in his strong arms and feeling his touch. I already felt that familiar bulge pressing against me through his pants and that familiar tingling radiating through me. For just a second I pictured how he felt deep inside of me, and I wanted him, but then I remembered his hand using my face as a punching bag.
After we pulled apart, Brice went into the bedroom to unpack, and normally I would have gone in, helped him and talked to him about his trip. But that day, I don’t know, I still felt strange around him. I finally realized what it was. I was afraid of him!
Afraid of my own husband.
14
Christian
B
rice is back in town. He has been for a few days. I think he may have been avoiding me when he first got back, but we met for lunch today as we often do. He talked about everything except what was going on with him and Mia, and hey, I’m not one to pry. He has to deal with those married-people problems. I’m having enough problems of my own being a single man. Correction, being a single, black man.
I can’t get Tasha off my strap. I have kicked it with her a few times at the club and at her apartment, but now I’m sick of her. She has gotten too attached. It’s time to move on. I told her from the get-go, in so many words, that I was out for a good time only.
Women are all the same. They hear one thing, but think they can change us. A woman cannot change a man. Usually what you see is what you get. If he’s a dog when you meet him, guess what, when you take him home he is still going to be a dog. I was straight up and honest with Tasha, but I guess she thought some good loving and good cooking would change my mind. Now she is constantly calling me and stopping by the base looking for me. Tasha really isn’t that bad. I just ain’t the one.
I can’t deal with one woman and settling down. Sometimes I wonder how Brice does it. He went from one extreme to another, but as far as I know, and I would know, he hasn’t strayed from Mia. And believe me, I know for a fact that a lot of these whores have tried. They don’t care if he’s married. They just want some—don’t tell me that women aren’t as bad as men. But Brice isn’t having it.
I guess finding a good woman like Mia can reform a man. Just not this man. Mia is so sweet. When I babysat her—that’s basically what I was doing—we discovered that we both love horror flicks. In fact, we watched a couple that evening. Last night, when I arrived home, I found her sitting on my stoop. Mia had bought me a horror movie classic that she wanted me to have in payment for my kindness to her. I invited her in for a few minutes.
Mia came in and looked around curiously, walking from room to room. “Now, this is truly a bachelor pad,” she said as she gave me her knockout smile.
“I thought Brice was bad before I married him, but you have him beat.”
“It’s not that bad, is it? I thought I had it going on.”
“Yes, Christian, it’s bad. You have something going on, but I just don’t know what,” she stated.
We smiled and looked at each other the way friends do.
“So where are you headed?”
“I have to drop these books back by the library and then it’s home.”
We had been walking and talking and had made it to my bedroom. Mia is a trip. This girl jumped on my bed and started bouncing around.
“So this is the bed, huh? What stories it could tell.”
For some reason I was embarrassed.
“Christian, I know this lady, Susan, in one of my classes would love to meet you,” she said as she continued to recline on my king-sized bed.
“Mia, I don’t need you to play matchmaker for me. I don’t have any problems meeting women.” I was gently getting her off my bed because I felt uncomfortable being in that particular room with Mia.
As I walked her back to the living room, she said, “But you haven’t been meeting nice ladies. Christian, you are so sweet. You need a nice lady.”
“Mia, sweet isn’t something that I’ve been called in quite a while.” I smiled. “Thanks, but no thanks.”
As Mia got ready to leave, she said, “Christian, you and Brice are just alike. You think women live and die for what’s between your legs. There’s a lot more to most women than that.”
She walked out the door and down the steps with me still looking at her with an expression of total amazement.
15
Brice
W
hen I arrived back home, things were somewhat awkward for a brief period of time. Mia had reluctantly accepted my apology. I would have said and done anything for her to forgive me. I could tell that she was still hurt, though.
I had forgotten how beautiful Mia is. Whenever I’m away for a few days and return home, I always discover her beauty all over again. She had on a thin T-shirt and bikini panties when I walked through the door. Her body is so perfect. I could see the outline of her breasts and the T-shirt stopped just barely below her butt. When Mia allowed me to kiss her, it felt like heaven to hold her again. I wanted more, but I knew not to push my luck. I could feel her trembling as I held her in my arms. It was then that I realized Mia was afraid of me. I didn’t know how that made me feel.
Mia still hasn’t given me any yet, and I’m about to go out of my mind. She lets me sleep with her and hold her, but nothing else. This shit is messed up. I feel like a little boy on punishment. And I swear she wears stuff to bed made to torture me. Last night she had on this number that showed me what I have been missing. I was holding her close and started to fondle her breasts, and for a moment I could tell that she was aroused, but then she froze; so I stopped.
I finally received the approval for leave in order to go away for a long weekend with my wife. It’s been a week since I came home, and even though Mia has forgiven me, or at least claims to, something is still missing. We are walking around each other like strangers. I don’t want to do anything to upset her or frighten her and she . . . I don’t know. I can’t figure Mia out most of the time.
We are heading to the Blue Ridge Mountains for the weekend. I have an associate who has a cabin in the woods, and we are going to rough it. There isn’t even a TV or phone, but there is a kitchen, toilet and bed. Hopefully, this weekend will put our marriage back on track. I miss Mia.
The weekend getaway was the best thing for us. When I informed Mia about my plans I saw her eyes light up again for the first time in days. Things had gotten somewhat back to normal, but we were still too polite to each other.
I went all out for our trip. I wanted everything to be perfect. I had roses delivered to the cabin, and they were waiting to greet Mia in full bloom when we arrived. I even had two large gift baskets made up for her. One was a basket of her favorites: fruit (mangos, kiwi, pineapple), chocolates (Godiva) and different flavors of tea.The other basket was filled to capacity with bubble bath, gels and lotions. There was even a bottle of champagne chilling when we stepped through the door.
Mia was like a little girl on Christmas morning; she was so excited. The cabin was nicer than I had expected; it had a rustic look, of course, and we were two miles away from the nearest neighbor. We had the woods—and each other—to ourselves. The cabin was decorated in mostly secondhand, but comfortable, furniture, which gave it a rustic charm. There was an old-fashioned stove and a fire-place stocked with firewood, and the bathroom had one of those antique, claw-foot bathtubs that sat in the center of the bathroom. Mia loved the tub. We could literally walk out our front door and be near the lake, which had our very own canoe at the water’s edge.
I think I fell in love with Mia all over again. We had never had a honeymoon, which was something I had promised her, but time went by so quickly and other commitments had to be fulfilled. So this was like the honeymoon we never had, nothing glamorous or extravagant, but simple, honest and pure. I really got to know my wife as I had never known her before.
Mia and I had dated for only a month before we married, so there was a lot that I didn’t know about her. But this time, with no interruptions such as TV, work or phones, we talked and got reacquainted. Mia told me her dreams and aspirations. She was going to make a great teacher. She talked about growing up, the pain she had felt when her father died and how horrible her teenage years had been with her mother being an alcoholic. She had grown up fast; my baby had been through a lot. We talked as I bathed her in the tub, we talked laying in the big solid oak bed holding each other, we talked sitting down by the lake as we had a picnic lunch and as we took nature walks hand in hand through the woods.
I even told her some things that I have never told anyone else. Things I have never even admitted to myself, let alone someone else. Mia listened and didn’t pass judgment. I told her how, when I was growing up, I thought my father was jealous of me because of how Moms constantly doted on me. I was her baby and could do no wrong. I think I tried to become closer to Daddy so that he wouldn’t be so jealous and take it out on Moms.Yes, I told her about the beatings Moms received and about all the women and the messing around Daddy did. Daddy was quite the ladies’ man even though he had a wife and kid at home. Again, Mia didn’t judge.
I proclaimed my love to her all over again. We had a mock wedding in the woods declaring our love to each other. I told her how I couldn’t live without her and how when she came into my life everything had changed for the better. I didn’t want to sleep around and be “out there.” I told her that she was my heart and soul. We made love that night for the first time in ages. It was slow, gentle and tender. I wanted to show her what my heart felt and couldn’t put into words. When it was over and she lay on top of me, skin to skin, I could feel her heartbeat pounding away and I felt totally at peace because I knew she was the one. I had found my soul mate.
We returned to the base ready to resume our married life and be a happily married couple again. So much had been said and so many promises made.
We were ready to begin again.
16
Mia
T
hat wonderful weekend that Brice and I spent in the Blue Ridge Mountains of North Carolina was a godsend. It completely rejuvenated our tense marriage. I mean, it is over a year later and we are still together. Don’t get me wrong. Things didn’t change overnight, but Brice was willing to try, and so was I. That made all the difference in the world. We both realized that there was so much that we didn’t know about each other. After all, we had dated only one month before we tied the knot. I felt like I knew and understood him better after that weekend.
We arrived back at the base like true honeymooners, with eyes only for each other. The past year has flown by so fast. I’m almost twenty-four years old, but I feel so much older. Being married has made me grow up. I’m still working towards that dream of obtaining my degree, and I’m almost there. Brice is still recruiting all over the place; the Marines are always looking for a few good men.
Oh, and let’s not forget Christian. He is constantly around our apartment. He drops by whenever he wants to, and that’s fine with me. He eats, showers and sometimes even sleeps over. Christian never did take me up on my offer to find a nice lady for him. From the bits and pieces of conversation that I pick up from him and Brice, he’s still running around being as whorish as ever. Brice is always telling me to mind my own business; Christian is a big boy and can take care of himself. I look at Christian sometimes and see such sadness. I just want him to be happy.
Yeah, life was good again. We were living our peaceful, routine, married life with only a few episodes of drama tossed in here and there. Nothing major. Just a few disagreements, but with nothing physical besides our lovemaking, which was still going as strong and as sweet as ever.
One Friday evening I received a phone call from Mama; we usually spoke every Sunday afternoon, and she would catch me up on what was going on back home. So I knew something was wrong the minute I answered the phone and heard her muffled voice.
“Mama, what’s wrong?” I asked right away.
“Mia, it’s your uncle Larry,” she said.
“What is it, Mama?”
“Baby, he had a massive heart attack about three hours ago, and they don’t know if he is going to make it. Can you and Brice make it home?”