The Tome of Bill (Book 7): The Wicked Dead (19 page)

The one thing they all had in common, though, was an adverse reaction to me – like I was a walking vine of poison ivy. Each group immediately reached for their weapons when they saw me. Guess they were still a bit steamed over what happened to their buddies up in Westchester. Either that or they were just of the kill first, ask questions later mindset when it came to vampire filth.

Sheila was probably the only reason I made it upstairs both unharmed and without having to bust some heads on the way – that latter prospect something I found myself oddly okay with. Go figure, beating up on righteous assholes – a victimless crime if ever there was one.

Regardless, her presence served to remind them that they weren’t here on a search-and-destroy mission.

As I neared the door, I overheard a loud argument off in one of the side rooms.

“For the last time, I’m not a goddamned thrall!”

It was Ed.

“Take not the Lord’s name in vain, thrall. Your lies fall upon deaf ears, for why else would a righteous man cavort with one of Lucifer’s fell demons?”

Cavort?

“Because he pays his share of the fucking rent, that’s why.”

“Sorry,” Sheila said with an exasperated sigh. “Let me go take care of that.”

I chuckled and kept walking. “Nah, leave them. Sounds like he’s fine.”

* * *

“Get out of the way,” I snarled as I reached the door.

The two Templar guarding it glared at me, but stepped aside nevertheless.

“You know, you might catch more flies with honey than vinegar,” Sheila said from behind me.

“I’m pretty sure that myth was busted.”

“You know what I mean.”

An irrational surge of anger flooded through me.
Tell her to go fuck herself!

What the hell? I told my inner problem-child to chill out and then took a deep breath, waiting to see if Dr. Death reared his head again. When he didn’t, I replied, “I know and I’m sorry. It’s just that I’m stressed and these guys are all staring at me as if I’m gonna pull a baby out of my backpack and start eating it in front of them.”

“I’ll have another word with them.”

“Thanks.”

Approaching footsteps from outside reached my ears. Judging from the clicking on the pavement, sensible shoes weren’t a part of the equation. Oh well, there was only one person I knew with the audacity to face the apocalypse while wearing five-inch heels.

I flung the door open only for the business end of a massive handgun to greet me. Damn, the barrel looked wide from this angle.

“Hey, Sally,” I squeaked, hoping there was no pee leaking out of me.

The gun lowered, and my partner’s blonde visage stared back at me. She was wearing a trench coat, no doubt meant to conceal the hand cannon she stuffed back inside of a pocket. Across her shoulder was slung a heavy-looking duffel bag.

“Sorry,” she said. “I found your note.”

“Then what’s with the fifty-caliber greeting?”

“Because someone else could have found it too. Your genius cipher left a lot to be desired.”

“Cryptography isn’t one of my specialties.”

“No shit.” She stepped past me. “So, any reason for the sudden upheav...”

I didn’t need to ask to know Sally had just noticed the red-robed figures standing inside the doorway.

“Well, this is nice.” Her voice betrayed no hint of panic as she glanced over her shoulder. “Is this your great plan for beating Vehron? Enthralling an army of cosplayers?”

“They’re with me,” Sheila said from a few steps further in.

“Oh. Those Templar jokers you were telling us about.”

“You knew too?” I asked.

“Of course,” she replied dismissively.

I secured the door and left our Templar guards to resume their duty as I walked after the two wayward members of our group. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Christy had likewise caught up – albeit looking pretty winded. Whether it was from the stairs or from the trip inside my noggin, I wasn’t sure. Probably a bit of both. That the eastern sky was just now starting to get light wasn’t helping matters. She hadn’t gotten any rest all night.

Sally glanced around, taking in the hostile glares the assembled Templar were giving her. She stepped fearlessly up to one and ran a finger over his red robe. “Not the most inconspicuous bunch I’ve ever seen.”

Judging from the Templar’s face, you’d have thought she was a leper rather than a beautiful woman. Oh well, maybe I could point Adam in this one’s direction.

“You’ve met them before, you know,” Sheila said with a wry smile.

“Oh? Well, they obviously didn’t make all that big of an impression.”

Amazingly enough, I found myself stepping in to put a stop to that. “They’re here to help us.” I sensed multiple sets of eyeballs boring into me, so I quickly amended, “I mean, they’re here to help the
Blessed One
on her holy crusade for justice, of which we – the evil shit stains of the world – are joining in our attempts to repent our wicked ways.”

I couldn’t have spread more sarcasm over that had I tried, yet it seemed to mollify them nevertheless. Oh yeah, this was gonna be a fun bunch to travel with.

* * *

Sheila spent the next fifteen minutes or so sorting things out with the Templar. Ed had really been the only one inconvenienced by the whole ordeal, looking kinda pissed when they finally let him out of the room they were holding him in.

Meanwhile, Tom, Adam, and Mike were busy playing cards off in a corner as if they hadn’t noticed the holy rollers milling about.

Dave had set up some of his equipment in one room and was busy scribbling notes on a pad. If he was bothered by having been dragged away from babysitting me, it didn’t show.

In the end, the Templar had no problem honoring a truce with their fellow humans, something Ed really wasn’t, but nobody seemed willing to volunteer that information. No matter what Sheila said, though, it was obvious they weren’t going to let the rest of us go about our business without keeping an eye on us. Oh well, they’d just best hope I didn’t need to take a shit anytime soon.

A fragile peace thus established, I suggested to my friends we take some time and get each other caught up – on everything this time. They’d been planning without me, and I’d been guilty of doing the same. The time for secrets needed to end. It sure as shit wasn’t Christmas, so I had a feeling more surprises wouldn’t be to our advantage.

Tom waved us off, obviously caught up with his game. Judging from the stack of bills in front of him, they were playing for cash and he was winning. That was fine. He most certainly wasn’t the Rommel to our war council.

The only downside was Sister Bernadette. Despite Sheila’s assurances, she was unwilling for her men to be kept in the dark. Quite the amusing concept for a group that looked like they had stopped keeping up with fashion sometime around the fifteenth century. I wouldn’t have been surprised to learn they all thought the world was flat and considered women to be property.

I really didn’t care to call for an entire assembly. I’d done more than enough speaking in front of hostile crowds lately. This meeting was for the generals only. As such, we agreed to let Bernadette be their emissary. I wasn’t big on taking her into my confidence, and I’m sure she wasn’t either, but fuck it. What was the worst that could happen? I mean, it’s not like this entire operation wasn’t about to blow up in our faces as it was.

I led the group to a conference room deep inside the building, hoping that this conclave proved slightly more successful than the last time I’d been here.

We straightened up a bit, locked the doors, and sat.

“Time to lay all the cards on the table,” I began. “It’s safe to say we’ve all had enough surprises as of late to make us wonder where the big fat guy in the red suit and sleigh is.”

“Christmas is the time to celebrate the birth of our...”

“Oh please shut up,” Sheila snapped at Bernadette. “Can we focus here and save the vitriol for later?”

Judging from the look on Bernadette’s face, you’d have thought she’d been branded with a pentagram instead of told to keep her ample pie-hole closed. I could have hugged Sheila for doing that, but I had a feeling that wouldn’t do much to cement the fragile alliance we had going with the Templar.

We don’t need them!

Dr. Death had gotten awfully chatty ever since our little soiree. I found myself wondering when he was going to get reabsorbed back into my subconscious. Couldn’t be soon enough.

I heard that.

Fuck!

Okay, enough of this crap. I turned to the rest and got us started, telling the assembled of how I went to visit Dave and my reasons for doing so.

“Wait a second,” Sally interrupted. “You’ve been letting someone experiment on your blood? You do know that is particularly frowned upon, right?”

Yeah, that. I nodded. “I know how it fucked Francois up the ass.” She probably didn’t remember him, so I moved on. “Yes, I know the consequences, but I don’t care. We need any edge we can get.”

To my surprise, she actually smiled. “Maybe you own a set after all.”

“Not if I get caught. Regardless, he could come in useful. I’ve asked him to take a look at Ed’s blood as well. See if he has any clue what’s wrong with him.” My roommate glared at me, to which I added, “Well, more wrong than usual.”

“Do you think he can really help?” Sheila asked, her tone dubious.

I decided to leave out the results, or lack thereof, of Dave’s experiments so far. “He’s a smart guy.”

“What is wrong with his blood that this vampire need examine it?” Bernadette asked.

Oh crap. I really should watch what I say around certain company. It wouldn’t behoove our cause for the Templar to know my roommate had been reclassified from “human” to “who fucking knows?”

“Um, Ed’s feeling a bit under the weather,” I replied lamely. “I want to make sure he’s healthy for the trip.” I kicked my roommate under the table, at which point he caught the hint and let out an unconvincing cough.

The Templar headmistress narrowed her eyes, but before she could question me further, Sheila steered us back on track. “Can we trust your friend to be … discreet?”

“Dave’s a recent convert. He got turned by Vehron and hasn’t been exposed to the greater vampire world, so he’s not contaminated by their dogma. He’s got one other thing going for him in that regard. He’s a self-absorbed asshole. There’s no way he’s going to share his research with someone else, at least not before he can make a fortune off of it.”

To my surprise, Sheila said, “Okay, if you trust him, I will too. If it’ll help Ed, he can have some of my blood as well.”

“Blessed one,” Sister Bernadette intoned, “this is unwise, giving of yourself to the enemy.”

“If it will help a friend, then it’s for the greater good. Could I do any less?”

That shut the Templar bitch up. I smiled toward Sheila, then switched things up to inform them of how I couldn’t leave my former gaming group behind.

“Oh, so you
did
bring other gaming dorks with you?” Sally asked dismissively. “Just keep them away from me. I already took a shower today.”

“Relax. I already warned the Defilers about you.”

Sister Bernadette leaned forward, her beady little eyes boring into me. “Defilers?”

Son of a bitch. “It was just a party name from our D&D game.”

Judging by her increasingly sour look, that explanation wasn’t winning me any points either. Damn, I felt sorry for any kids who had to visit her on the holidays.

Quickly changing gears, I next brought the team up to speed on my Dr. Death issue and the progress made there.

“So you’re saying he’s just some offshoot of your powers combined with your subconscious?” Sheila asked.

“Seems like it.”

Sally leaned forward, eyeing me curiously. “You ever maybe consider group therapy? Because that shit doesn’t sound normal.”

“What do you think?” Sheila asked Christy.

“Fingers crossed, but it sounded reasonable to me,” she replied.

My tale finished, Sheila told of how she, Sally, and the rest of my friends had discussed things and realized the Templar would be a potentially powerful ally against the forces Vehron was mustering up in Boston.

Her speech put a lot of emphasis on their faith and how it would be tested – no doubt buttering up a big cinnamon roll full of bullshit for Bernadette to chow down on. I could dig that.

Sister Bernadette corroborated this, informing us that so long as we didn’t stray into darkness, then our truce would hold.

Yeah, that was gonna take a wee bit of a miracle to pull off. Bottom line was vampires needed blood to survive, and our stash of the bottled stuff was close to empty.

Thankfully, Sheila seemed to sense my trepidation because she had the perfect answer.

“We’re going to split our forces when the time comes. The Templar will work to clean up the streets of Boston and rescue anyone they can. The rest of us will focus on the main complex.”

It wasn’t much, but the separate missions might give us the breathing room to do what we needed to, while not ticking off our allies too badly.

When all was said and done, I had to admit she’d thought this through in much greater detail than me. I mean, neither of us were exactly trained in military strategy, and that showed. However, at the end of the day, she had much more of a claim to leading this party than I did. I’d need to tell her that when I got the chance.

For now, though, it was Sally’s turn to enlighten us all as to what she’d been up to. She lifted up the duffel bag she’d come in with onto the table. The creak of the wood beneath it was testament to its weight. She unzipped it and threw back the cover, revealing a whole shitload of firepower within.

Whoa. Sheila might have invited the party guests, but Sally had brought the noisemakers.

“I was hoping to find any remnants of Village Coven,” she explained. “Even a couple of seasoned vampires could be helpful to our cause.”

I let out a sigh. We’d been through this. “I told you, anyone with any experience was wiped out. As for the new recruits, Vehron got them all.”

“Yeah, I know you
said
that, but I also know me. I have a hard time believing there wouldn’t have been a few nooks and crannies that I hadn’t told you about.”