The Tome of Bill Compendium Vol. 1 (Books 1-4) (80 page)

He quickly turned his head and hissed at his lackeys. Silence resumed amongst them. Regardless, the moment was over (
which was good. Considering Francois’s age, I wasn’t entirely sure even Nergui would be able to stop him
). When Francois turned back to me, his eyes had resumed their normal color. To my surprise, a smile actually crossed his lips. That didn’t exactly inspire confidence.

“Your reputation for having a quick, if somewhat crude, tongue is well earned,” he said.

“What can I say? I like to make an impression.”

“I can see that.”

“This playful banter aside, I’m not here to make waves. I just want to do my part so we can hash out a truce with the Sasquatches. Once that’s done, I’ll go home and you can keep Canada.”

“Yes, of course. We’re all on the same side here,” he replied in a tone that implied we weren’t even remotely on the same team. God, what a creep. Even if James hadn’t warned me about him, this guy would still be giving me serious douche-chills.

“Cool,” I said. “Is Alex here yet? I’m thinking we should all sit down and discuss things. I want to make sure I know what to say and such.”

“Alex?” he replied, raising one eyebrow.

“Yeah, the Drac...err First Coven’s special envoy.”

“Interesting. I know of no Alex.”

Hmm, that was odd. Still, this guy looked like the sort of stuck up prick that would barely notice anyone beneath him in rank.

“Okay then, what about the negotiators that were being sent in? Maybe Alex will check in with us later.”

Francois’s face took on a look of concern...mostly. I’m not too good at reading subtle expressions, but I’d have sworn his eyes were twinkling with laughter. “Haven’t you heard?”

“Heard what?”

“The team that the First were sending never arrived. They simply vanished...without a trace.”

“Vanished?”

“Yes, it’s quite tragic,” he replied without a trace of remorse. “I suspect these beasts had something to do with it. Alas, I have no proof of their treachery.”

“Then we’re postponing the summit, right?” Sally asked from beside me. I was amazed. It was the longest I could remember her keeping her mouth shut.

“Child,” Francois replied, putting extra emphasis on the word as if to imply
stupid child
. “This gathering is far too important to put off. Every day that goes by is another step closer to war. And it’s not just us. The other delegations have all arrived. It would be an insult to cry foul and tell them to all go home. Believe me when I say there are beings present that are not to be trifled with.”

Emboldened, either by the fact that I was still alive or by Sally, Ed spoke up. “So what is Bill supposed to do? He’s not exactly a UN diplomat.” When I turned to give him a glare, he replied, “Let’s not fool ourselves here. You’re not.”

That’s the thing with Ed. He continually ticks me off by being right. I sighed and turned back to Francois. “He has a point.”

Francois seemed not to hear me, though. “You allow your food to speak for you? How quaint. I see James is letting discipline slip down in the States.”

Now it was my turn to flash my fangs, albeit I imagine I was just a wee bit less impressive than he was. I may be strong by human standards, but to an elder vampire I was probably about as frightening as a kitten. Still, I couldn’t let him get away with treating my friends like an appetizer. “They’re my friends, not my food. They’re here to assist me and thus are under my protection.”

“
Your
protection?”

“Yes. You’ve heard stories about Freewills, right? Care to see if any of them are true?” (
Please let the answer be “no.”
)

“Silly boy, you’ll find I’ve faced down far scarier things than
you
.” His eyes momentarily flashed black then back to normal in no more than a blink of his eyes. Damn, I couldn’t do it that fast. I actually had to concentrate to get that stuff to work. “Regardless, now is not the time. Alas, your
advisors
are moot here.”

“How so?”

“Have you not been listening, boy? The First’s diplomats are missing. The peace meeting must go on. Thus, as leader of this region, I have hand-picked my own team of negotiators to fill in for the First’s.”

“Your own team?”

“Yes. Entirely loyal to the vampire cause, I assure you (
yeah, right!
). Your mission has not changed. They will hash out a treaty with the Sasquatch leader. You will go along with their suggestions as the figurehead you are. Were those not your orders?”

“Well...”

“As I thought. You will perform your duty as instructed. Once finished, you will leave my domain.
IS THAT CLEAR
!?
”

I’m not sure if he meant to send that last part as a compulsion or if it just came out that way because he was pissed, but damn! The force of it sent me flying back into my roommates. Judging by the boneless way they collapsed under me; I assumed they had gotten a pretty hefty taste of it as well. Compulsion works on humans too, just not quite as well. It takes a vampire of considerable strength to pull it off. Unfortunately, Francois definitely had a checkmark in that column.

As for me, my head was ringing. It felt like someone had beaten me senseless with the world’s largest tuning fork. Even so, I was by far the least worse off. I saw Sally, Nergui, and all of Francois’s vampires standing there with the same vacant, glazed look in their eyes. Each and every one of them was under Francois’s spell. I was going to need a bottle of aspirin when this was over, but at least I was immune to his control.

I turned to my human friends. Both of them appeared to be knocked for a loop. Their eyes were rolled up into their heads, showing only the whites, but they were still breathing. Fortunately, within a couple of seconds they both started blinking and groaning. They were coming out of it, hopefully with not much worse than a headache to show for their troubles. That was good because I didn’t have time to tend to them. Vampires like Francois - which covered just about
all
vampires - were predators and the last thing you wanted to do with any predator was show them weakness.

I stood up and casually dusted myself off, acting as if my head didn’t feel like it had the New York Philharmonic playing in it. I walked up to Sally and quickly snapped my fingers in front of her face. No response. I turned back to Francois, smiling, and said, “Cute. But it doesn’t work on me.”

“I see that,” he replied and then matched my grin with his own. “But it is painfully obvious to me that though I can’t control you, I can hurt you.” Oh, crap. Guess I needed to work on my poker face a bit.

I stood my ground and said nothing. Francois stepped forward, into my personal space and continued, “Shall we try it again? I for one would be curious to see how many times it would take for me to liquefy your brain.”

I was about to make a witty comment regarding his breath, but just then the barrel of Ed’s shotgun was laid over my shoulder, pointing directly at Francois’s face.

“I don’t know, but I’m willing to bet it would take just one bullet to knock that smile off
your
face, permanently,” Ed’s voice said from behind me. “And in case you’re wondering, yes, they’re silver.”

I shifted my eyes to the gun barrel and then back to Francois, grinning even wider. “What’s that you were saying about my advisors being moot?”

The smile dropped from his face and, apparently with it, his concentration. The vampires behind him began shaking their heads. I had little doubt Sally and Nergui were doing the same.

In addition to that, I could see out of the corner of my eye that we were attracting a small crowd of onlookers. Vampires and Bigfeet alike were starting to gather round, not to mention some other...err...
things
that I couldn’t readily identify. Guess they weren’t shitting me about there being other guests in attendance.

Francois was a cock-meat sandwich of the highest order, but he wasn’t stupid. Whatever his agenda, his knew that the bullshit we were engaged in now wasn’t going to help our position. Almost as if reading my mind, he suddenly started laughing. It almost sounded genuine.

“Well played, Freewill,” he sang out in an exaggerated voice that everyone in the immediate vicinity picked up. “An excellent demonstration! With you at our vanguard, our enemies will think twice before trying anything.”

I shifted my eyes around. Sure enough, the tension seemed to have gone out of the onlookers. Thinking this was a staged display, they quickly began to go back about their business.

“Slick,” I whispered.

“Necessary,” he replied, equally quiet. “Letting your oafishness give our enemies the advantage would be to all of our detriment.”

“Are we done here?” I asked, at which point Ed finally lowered the gun. I was glad he hadn’t been given reason to use it. Regardless of whether it would have done much to Francois, I didn’t relish the thought of a twelve gauge shotgun going off right next to my head.

“For now,” Francois said with a sneer. “The sun will be up soon. I will return tomorrow night for the opening talks.”

“You’re not staying here?”

“In this place?” he asked, the snooty Frenchman in him coming to the forefront. “I think not. Enjoy the accommodations.” He turned on his heel, nodded to his companions, and together they all began to walk away.

He turned his head back to us only once. “Remember my warning. You are a figurehead here. Nothing more.” Before I could reply with anything snippy, he and his contingent strode away. That was just fine with me. It gave me a chance to let out a large breath that felt like I had been holding for hours.

“Now there goes a true asshole,” Tom commented, still looking a little dazed from the compulsion. “And no, I don’t care if he can hear me.”

“For once we’re in agreement,” Sally added. She then turned to me, and said in as serious of a tone as I’d ever seen her use, “We need to watch out for him, Bill. He’s bad business. I don’t think I’ve ever met another vamp as strong as he is.”

“You don’t need to tell me that. I’m not so sure his little threat about turning my head to mush would’ve been entirely idle. Thanks for the save, Ed. I owe you.”

“Just one?” he replied with a coy grin.

We all chuckled at that. “Nice bluff about the silver bullets, by the way.”

“It wasn’t a bluff.”

“No? Where the hell did you get silver bullets?”

“I gave them to him,” Sally said. “Since that business a few months back (
I noticed she specifically didn’t mention Nergui by name, considering he was standing just a few feet away
), I figured it was a good idea for you guys to have a little extra backup. So I had them specially made.”

“You did?”

“Yeah, I gave them to Ed the last time we met for coffee.”

“Sally gives the sweetest gifts,” he said with an exaggerated grin.

“Hold it!” I interrupted. “What do you mean, ‘last time you met for coffee’? I thought you guys only went on one date?”

“Well, technically, ‘coffee’ isn’t a date,” Sally sniffed.

“And neither of you told me, why?”

“Well you kinda freaked out the last time,” Ed replied.

“Oh, please,” Sally said. “I don’t require that you keep me up to date on
your
social life, nonexistent as it is.”

“She has a point, dude,” Ed added.

As we continued bickering, a small part of my brain couldn’t help but notice that there we were, the fate of the world in the balance, and the most important thing on any of our minds was who was secretly dating whom - like some fucked up episode of
Friends
.

Goddamn, the world was so screwed.

The show over, for now at least, Nergui showed us to our hut. Yes, they intended for us all to share one. None of us was particularly happy with that, especially Sally. When she found out, she opened her handbag and produced a very familiar looking weapon: a Desert Eagle. Technically speaking, vampires - at least those in New York City - aren’t supposed to be armed. It was a clause in some back-alley agreement we have with the NYPD. Sally, however, wasn’t one to let silly things like rules get in her way.

Brandishing the handgun, which looked comically large in her petite hands, she said, “I don’t give warning shots, just in case anyone gets any funny ideas about stealing my virtue.”

“Stealing? I was pretty sure I could just buy it for a fiver,” I quipped. Before she could comment, or shoot me in the leg for my troubles, I added, “Jeez, am I the only one here who isn’t packing?”

“I’m with you, Bill,” Tom replied. “I’m more of a lover than a fighter anyway. Speaking of which...” He started waving toward the left. I looked in that direction and saw a small group of white-robed figures. One of them looked toward us, raised her hand in return, and then came running in our direction: Christy.

“When did you get in, babe?” Tom asked once she had reached us.

“A few days ago. We’ve been communing since then.” (
Whatever the fuck that meant
)

“Nice outfit,” he said in a suggestive tone.

“We really should be sky-clad, but it’s kind of cold.”

“Ooh, sky-clad. I could get into that. Maybe we should do some communing of our own.”

“Getting ready to puke here,” Sally snapped.

Christy and Tom, being the overly cute couple that they were (
Christy was cute. The addition of Tom made them a couple
), ignored her.

“Sorry, hon. Remember the rules. No fraternizing.”

“That sucks,” he replied in a sulking tone.

“Although,” she added, “If we just happen to bump into each other out in the woods...”

“
Really
getting ready to puke now!” Sally snarled. To add further emphasis to her annoyance, she cocked the hammer on her gun with an audible click.