So I'm on the way back to the KOTIS island. Not with Sa Lents this time, but a grim greensuit escort. It was an accident, but I feel so awful. I hurt her.
Sunday, January 6
Back to the Lab
Endless medical scans. Apparently they'd already tested me for potential psychic powers, but the only sign they could find was the possibility of being a projector (perhaps the least useful ability in a world where everyone is their own home movie theatre). When they finally sent me off to get some sleep – back in my old room – I can't.
Part of that's because I'm sore. They use nanites to glue broken bones back together, but it still needs to heal properly, and I have to lie on my back not to pressure my collarbone. The pain meds wore off too quick.
More tests tomorrow. They haven't been able to find any reason at all for Nenna's jump to have gone strange.
Monday, January 7
Turn it up to 11
Today they moved on to practical experiments in a different part of the KOTIS building: a huge, reinforced room with observation windows and massive blocks of greenish metal in a row from small to large. Test Room 1.
First 'they' (voices in my head of people I'd never met) had me stand in the centre of the room and told me to try to project illusions or teleport or move a little box or do anything at all. I couldn't. I felt a complete dick.
Then they sent in a Setari. He was about twenty-five, reminded me strikingly of Johnny Depp, and had the nicest smile I've ever seen. Ever. He told me his name was Maze (or Mase, maybe – all the Taren words I write down are serious guesses as to spelling – the alphabet doesn't quite correlate to the letters I'm used to). He lifted each of the metal blocks in turn using telekinesis, though he was only able to make it halfway through the row. Then he had me stand next to him, and told me to do exactly what I did when Nenna jumped us. I told him I didn't do anything, just stood there while she held on to my hand, and he told me to do that then, and held on to my hand while I tried not to look incredibly embarrassed, or to think how much Nenna would want to be in my place.
Maze began lifting the blocks again. And made it about two thirds through them, and was quite wide-eyed by the time he was done. I would be too, since the last few blocks were bigger than school demountables. They brought a different Setari in, a very beautiful woman around the same age, her hair in a long braid. Her name was Zee, and she did the same thing, except she started out wide-eyed.
After this was endless, boring variations of hand-holding and block-lifting. They found that whatever it is I'm doing keeps working for a little while, even if they let go of my hand, and decided I'm a new ability: a magnifier or an amplifier. Not nearly as fun as having psychic abilities of my own, but I guess it's more good than bad that they were all excited and disconcerted. Back in my room now; time for kindergarten.
Tuesday, January 8
Suckitudinous
They decided to expand my interface. Apparently all the Setari have an interface network all over their bodies, instead of just on one side of their head, because it increases their link to the Ena and thus their strength. They gave me a bunch of 'hypoinjections' – even in the soles of my feet! – and
then
told me what they'd done. And then switched off my interface so that even my language tool went away.
Tare nearly had a Casszilla incident. They could have at least pretended to ask. I went hot and dizzy and said really rude, overloud things in English and only just stopped myself from shouting because I had to work at not crying in front of them. This was horrible enough the first time.
Friday, January 11
O.o
Cannot begin to describe how awful I feel. Contemplating vengeance of the direst sort.
Monday, January 14
For the ones that are still alive
Well, they nearly killed me this time. I've been in the infirmary for the past few days on life support. My expanded interface
really
expanded and I started having convulsions. Apparently. I don't remember too much of it.
I still feel awful; I can barely sit up to write this. It'll be a few days before I'm anywhere close to not-ill.
Friday, January 18
Apologies
Nenna sent me an email. She sent it a couple of days ago but my interface hasn't been on. And when they turned it on, they only gave me my language tool, kindergarten and bare-bones basic room functions. Ista Tremmar tells me that I'll be given access back after further assessment, and that I can write to Nenna, but I can't explain anything to her, or tell her much about what it's like here. Then she gave me a big file of rules to read, but my head wouldn't be up to it even if it was in English. The interface has stopped expanding but I'm still horribly headachy.
Anyway, Nenna doesn't hate me. She apologised to me. So now we're apologising to each other. I told her what little I guess I can – her father's probably able to tell her more anyway – and promised to translate the lyrics to the songs when I can.
It was so good to get her email.
Saturday, January 19
Blacksuits
Another test session today with Zee. We did basic lifting. Or, rather, I stood around feeling tired and extraneous while she lifted things. Then there was another woman, Mara, who was talkative and had wonderfully sproingy curly hair. She and Zee and Maze are all from 'First Squad': they're the oldest of the Setari, one of the three original combat squads created from children trained intensively to deal with monsters from the Ena.
After they decided the early results were promising, the Taren government vastly expanded the Setari program, and now there's a dozen six-person squads, most of them five to seven Earth-years younger than First Squad. There's also a lot of people in training who haven't yet qualified for active duty on the squads. The Setari program has been running for 60 years (twenty Earth years).
Mara explained all this to me while Zee was working out if being any distance from me effected the temporary increase with her strength. Mara is primarily a Speed talent, but she can also make a glowing light which curls about like a kind of cutting whip. I made her even faster, which she was pleased about, but something about how the whip worked really shocked them. It came out in a different colour and they spent ages studying it and being confused. Then I was put back in my box. I hate being a lab rat.
More Labrattery
After a few hours I was recalled for more experiments with First Squad – all of them this time. There's four girls – Zee, Mara, Alay, Ketzaren – and two guys – Maze and Lohn. All in their mid-twenties, all wearing their black uniforms and looking very fit and smart and...worn. I didn't like to ask if all the years fighting monsters ran together for them, or if they ever get to stop.
The uniform the Setari wear is very interesting. It's flexible and stretchy: solid stuff but not so unwieldy as a wetsuit, and – it's hard to think what it reminds me of. Expensive sport shoes, with their airholes for breathing and all the extra stitching and complexity. It's very tight-fitting and all-covering – the neck part goes right up to the chin and the arms to fingerless gloves, and the soft boots seem to be built in too, and it looks like it must be a pain to take on and off. It's far more layered and complex than the spandex suits of superheroes, but with a cape and a big logo I bet they could pass.
There's something unspeakably tedious about standing about while people act worried and excited, and you don't really understand why. Especially when they started communicating on channels I didn't have access to instead of speaking, which really brought back the whole "you're an experimental subject" feel again.
Maze, Zee and Mara – all of First Squad – are relaxed and friendly, though, which helps. They talked me through some of the implications of the fact that I'm not just enhancing some of their powers, but changing them. It really increases the danger. The accident with Nenna was an example of that – it's possible that I didn't simply increase her strength, but changed the coordinates of her jump as well. They were thinking of it only in terms of an overshoot before, but now they think it was a distortion, and that means that anyone trying to teleport me anywhere would be at huge risk.
I don't seem to distort everything though. Or, at least, it's not noticeable if I am. But Mara's 'Light whip' has a more melting effect when I enhance her, and Alay's Illusion casting goes totally weird. Ketzaren felt dizzy when she tried to make me levitate and Lohn – who gives a good imitation of a
Star Wars
blaster shooting beams of Light – made a burning wall instead. There was a big pause after that, where First Squad stood about looking disconcerted and listening to someone I couldn't hear, who I guess was having conniptions.
The one thing they did establish is that I consistently distort. So Lohn's beams always became a wall, and Mara's Light whip was always the same. They cheered up after that. They're still going to have to go carefully working out just what effect I have, but consistently weird is a lot better than randomly weird.
And now I'm back in my box waiting for the next test. I think it's the fact that the door won't open to me that bothers me most.
Monday, January 21
Still alive still
I spent the beginning of the day translating song lyrics for Nenna. I am improving. My grammar is terrible, and I had to write a huge amount of explanatory notes to make half the concepts remotely understandable, but it showed me how far I'd come in being able to communicate. Talking to First Squad between testing sessions has been helping. I was feeling very proud of myself, even if I could tell it was a botched job, and had just mailed it off to her when I was brought down for another testing session.
This was more of the same, just working on the limits of me enhancing people. So they had two, then three of the Setari touching me at the same time to see how many people I could enhance at once.
And down I went. I never used to pass out on frequent occasions. I'm not epileptic, and I never had a fit till I came to this planet. Until now they weren't sure if I was being physically stressed by whatever I'm doing to enhance people. And, well, now they know.
They're getting more anxious about killing me, I think. The greysuits, that is, and whoever it is giving orders over the interface. I don't see these at all, just First Squad and greysuits.
First Squad were very upset, and Zee and Maze came to the infirmary after I'd woken up again and we all apologised to each other for nothing which was our own fault. They don't seem bothered by the tests, they just think they should have somehow predicted what was going to happen and prevented it.
Change of pace
Sa Lents came to see me for the first time since Nenna's accident. He didn't act like he blamed me or anything, but it was still uncomfortable. No experiments 'today', just talking with Sa Lents, trying to describe Earth's history.
My sleep schedule is totally messed up. The lack of proper day and night, and the way the people I've been working with all seem to be on different shifts, really messes with me. Their breakfast is my dinner and so forth.
Tuesday, January 22
Zan
Today I was assigned to a girl called Zan. She's from Twelfth Squad and is another telekinetic. She's short and very serious and has blonde-brown hair which is very fine and cut into a soft and wispy bob. Quite pretty golden-brown eyes.
They've decided to postpone further experiments with me because they think I'm too worn down. Being half-starved on Muina and then that bad cold and then the broken collarbone and all these bad reactions I've had are adding up. Even though I've had regular meals and not really done anything since I was rescued, I've not put on much weight and certainly aren't fit. They want me to get healthy and they're going to confine the tests purely to Zan's Telekinesis for a while. She only has the one psychic talent, with no secondary talents at all.
She's also going to train me. In some kind of judo, which is not exactly something I'm keen on. Hitting people is...just not me. They want to study the effect of prolonged exposure to Zan, and at the same time make me a bit more capable of surviving, should they ever decide it's a good idea to use me in combat. I really am a potential weapon to these people.
It's hard to tell what Zan thinks of all this. She's what Mum would call 'scrrrrupulously correct' and even though she's trained all her life to be an incredibly deadly monster fighter, she didn't act as if there was anything odd about teaching some unco beginner how to stand and how to step back and forward over and over again. Must be dull as hell for her.
She did do the wide-eyed thing when they tested how I enhanced her. By herself she's a lot stronger than Maze. With me, she can lift all the test blocks at once.
Wednesday, January 23
Lab Rat One
I spent all of today having test after test in the medical labs. Ista Tremmar is polite and all, but she's still inclined to leave me sitting on an examining table for an hour while they talk about me. If I didn't have the interface kindergarten to keep me occupied I'd go mad.
Maybe that's what Zan does during our exercises – zones out and reads her email. If I ask her questions, she answers in the briefest possible way, and she never asks me anything. I miss Nenna's chatter so much. I miss that she treated me as a person as well as an exciting curiosity.