The Tragedy of Arthur: A Novel (39 page)

If I were a better version of me, I would not react faster than I think, would not be wounded when no harm was intended, would understand before too much time had passed to forgive, would not—in my clumsy efforts to make amends—so often make things worse. I would not have lived and written such an ugly story, and I would not
so resemble this vile picture of me that my father drew, before I was even an adult (or, worse, that Shakespeare drew centuries before I was born).

Those who know me personally know to a fine degree how much of all this is true, how much an apology (and how sincere), how much a boast or a con job. To the rest of you, it’s a muddle or it’s a thing of beauty. And if it pleased you, and you found in its candor and lies and sobbing cross-dressed confessions some hours’ entertainment, then well and good.

I will send this off to Random House now, proofread the galleys, give this work all the care Shakespeare could never give his own, then cash my checks and send my winnings from this venture to bank accounts established for my boys, my ex-wife, my mother, and for Petra, Dana, and their little girl, whose birth I was not allowed to attend, whose face I have not yet earned the right to see, whose breath I have not yet smelled, whose cheeks I have not yet touched, whose whole first year I will have squandered, whose name I do not know, and whose gender I learned only from a mutual friend (whose indiscretion was subsequently clarified for him, and whom I can now no longer get to return my calls).

I did consider, in chiming midnights of pounding self-pity, killing myself. My favorite line in Shakespeare:
When the players are all dead, there need none to be blamed
. But I’m not the type, and it’s not that kind of story. And my sons are coming for Christmas, or a little after; Jana’s very generous to allow it, just as my mother was with another shabby father named Arthur. I’ve planned a lot for me and the boys to do in frozen Minneapolis. Also, they like detective fiction, and I am starting to think I might write a novel with them as the heroes, twin-brother PIs in Prague. Lots of plot.

For now I will do as Dana (and RH legal) instructs. I will not lie and say the play is real, not even for her. She didn’t say I had to. I will not say her version of our life is truer than mine. But I will say again that I’m very sorry, for whatever that’s worth.

What sort of story is this, then? Not quite a tragedy, not for anyone else, anyhow. Not quite a comedy, not for me, anyhow. A
problem play
, I suppose we could call it. With time we will fit it into some
genre or other. Endings are, after all, artificial, until the last one. It all depends on how you like the book. If you think I mean it, it reads a certain way. If you think I don’t, it reads another. Just like the play.

So. The curtain drops, maybe snags a little on its way down, and stagehands scamper around trying to free it, while this actor in his one-man show stands there staring out into the darkness with a stupid smile and darting eyes as he squints from row to row, trying to find one particular face, to see if she liked it.

BY WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE

THE ENGLISH-WELSH COURT

A
RTHUR
,
Prince of Wales, later King of Britain

Duke of
G
LOUCESTER
,
Arthur’s guardian, later adviser

Constantine, Earl of
C
ORNWALL
,
later King of Britain

G
UENHERA
,
his sister, later Queen of Britain

Duke of
S
OMERSET

Duke of
N
ORFOLK

Earl of
C
UMBRIA

Earl of
K
ENT

Sir Stephen of
D
ERBY

Bishop of
C
AERLEON

L
ADY
C
RIER
and other Ladies of the cour

Guenhera’s
N
URSE

THE PICTISH-SCOTTISH COURT

L
OTH
,
King of Pictland

M
ORDRED
,
Loth’s son, Duke of Rothesay, later King of Pictlan

C
ALVAN
,
Mordred’s brother, Prince of Orkneys

C
ONRANUS
,
King of Scotland

A
LDA
,
Queen of Scotland, sister-in-law to Loth, aunt to Mordred and Arthur

Duke of
H
EBRIDES
,
son to Conranus
A
LEXANDER
,
a messenger

D
OCTOR

C
OLGERNE
,
chief of the Saxons

S
HEPHERDESS

M
ASTER
of the Hounds

The Master of the Hounds’
B
OY

D
ENTON
,
an English soldier

S
UMNER
,
an English soldier

M
ICHAEL
B
ELL
,
a young English soldier

French
A
MBASSADOR

P
HILIP
of York

P
LAYER
K
ING

P
LAYER
Q
UEEN

Messengers, Servants, Huntsmen, Attendants
,

Trumpeters, Hautboys, Soldiers, Players

PROFESSOR ROLAND VERRE

ACT I: In sixth-century Britain, King Uter Pendragon rapes a noble’s wife. The product of that rape, Arthur, is raised in Gloucestershire, far from his father’s constant wars with the Saxons. When Uter is killed, Arthur inherits the throne, but his right is challenged. Mordred, heir to the crown of Pictland (eastern Scotland), asserts his claim to be king of all Britain (England, Wales, Scotland, and Pictland, as well as Ireland). Mordred’s father, King Loth, refuses to go to war for this title. Mordred decides to provoke a war. The English nobles torture a Pictish ambassador, offering Mordred an excuse to bring Pictland (and Scotland) into the fight.

ACT II: Arthur leads his men against the Saxons, Picts, and Scots at York, gaining his first victory. Mordred retreats to Lincoln to join hidden Saxon reinforcements. Arthur sends the Duke of Gloucester to lead his army in pursuit, vowing to arrive before any battle. Instead, the Duke of Gloucester, disguised as Arthur, wins a great victory against a surprisingly strong force. Arthur arrives late and allows his enemies to go home on the promise of peace, keeping Mordred’s brother for ransom. The Saxons attack again. Arthur, enraged, kills all prisoners, even the hostage brother. Mordred becomes King of Pictland and vows revenge against Arthur.

ACT III: Gloucester arranges a valuable marriage for Arthur with a French princess, guaranteeing wealth, allies, and strength to help him achieve his goal of a unified, peaceful, and prosperous Britain. Instead, Arthur marries Guenhera, the sister of a childhood friend, who
has loved him since he was a boy. She miscarries twice. Arthur’s nobles complain that he is too solicitous of his wife and has lost interest in military matters, that he has turned the court into a place of effeminate art and recreation. One noble considers assassinating Arthur to save the endangered kingdom.

ACT IV: Arthur is overly submissive to his queen, who is pregnant again. He allows her to put knights on trial for acts of rudeness or chivalric misbehavior. In the midst of this, the Saxons attack yet again. Arthur realizes that he does not have the means to defend his kingdom and that he has, in his rashness, alienated the French and his nominal vassals, the Picts. Forced to negotiate, he secures Pictish aid by naming Mordred his heir. Mordred accordingly assists in the victory over the Saxons at Linmouth, but he suspects that Arthur is going to renege on his promise.

ACT V: While Arthur is fighting a rebellion in Ireland, Mordred travels to London and learns that Guenhera has miscarried again but that Arthur has promised the throne to young Philip of York, one of Arthur’s illegitimate children. Humiliated, Mordred kidnaps Guenhera and Philip. Arthur leaves Ireland and makes camp in a muddy field alongside the Humber River to fight Mordred. It is not clear who attacks first, ending the hopes of a diplomatic solution. Mordred then murders Guenhera and kills Gloucester in battle. Arthur, heartbroken and realizing his weakness as a king, sees that his only duty is to kill Mordred, ensuring the end of civil strife in Britain. He does so, dying in the process, and a new king of a unified Britain is crowned.

[
Location: A wood in Gloucestershire
]

Enter Arthur and Gloucester
[
with spears, hunting boar
]

GLOUCESTER

ARTHUR

GLOUCESTER

ARTHUR

GLOUCESTER

ARTHUR

GLOUCESTER

ARTHUR

GLOUCESTER

ARTHUR

GLOUCESTER