The Tragedy of Arthur: A Novel (43 page)

GLOUCESTER

Or no?

NORFOLK

To be black Uter’s son makes not an heir.

By such a stamp
7
ten thousand British kings

Do dance a-maypole, yoke the ox to coulter,
8

Or skink
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the wine at table for my thirst,

Though none so like their sire as Arthur be,

Who with his mawks on beef and ling
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doth dine,

Who’d ’change all England for St. George’s field.
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SOMERSET

He’s born on George’s day, so ’tis like home.
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,
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GLOUCESTER

Ignoble, rude and slanderous babble, lords

Ill suits the love that’s due your sovereign prince.

NORFOLK

Come morrow, Gloucester, what names you the king?

GLOUCESTER

The king will have me England’s seneschal.

SOMERSET

You’ll hold the keys to all the postern gates
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Until the midnight king doth steal the guard.

GLOUCESTER

These hare-brained comments will find quittance, Dukes.

CUMBRIA

But who makes doubt of Arthur’s godly right?

These arms embraced King Uter as he died,

A man twice me, twice thee, twice any lord.

Beneath the walls of York he cried to me,

“Prince Arthur now will be your lawful king.”

KENT

O, tender-feeling Cumbria, ’tis well,

But you have not seen Arthur sith his youth

When that boy sprouted no more manly beard

Than trims a raspberry
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in August heat.

SOMERSET

And sith his beard has grown, you’ll find no man

Hath seen the prince’s thumbs.
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KENT

So long as that?
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SOMERSET

Renowned like to a serpent or a tailor’s.
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GLOUCESTER

What ancient barons’ rights are these t’abuse?

NORFOLK

These ten and seven summers hath the prince

In Gloucestershire reclined, whence rumor tells

That Arthur’s luxury-amazed,
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but king

Of milking maids, and each new queen he leads

By kecksie flourish
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to a clover bed.

No continence
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hath he and none dare bar

The boy from exercising his mad lusts.

SOMERSET

The father’s passions storm within the son!

Will abbey words becalm the prince’s rage,

The ire descried
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by those who should speak love,

That Arthur soars to fury when but touched,

Doth strike a man of noble birth for spite,

And spends his words of love upon a cook?

GLOUCESTER

Thus tales lead beasts, and heads too willing follow
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The boy is stern for war. Come tilt with him.

First pass he’ll lay you on your plated back

Like to a flea within a walnut-shell.

He’ll lift great sword and drop it on your pate
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With edge or flat or fig-ball pommel: choose.
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In York will he course fast as rolling floods,

As swift as you in thought may cross the globe.

KENT

Like to his father then he longs for war?

The father’s war did steal the father’s life.

The father’s son would match the father’s feat

And on his feet march all of us to death,

So son might set, like father, in the north.
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Forever war, forever war, and on.

Yet Saxons find war-stubbled York a prize

And would content themselves in its embrace.

This land’s o’er-marched, o’er-bled, o’er-wearied o’war,

Yet still Prince Arthur comes to wield a sword!

CUMBRIA

What danger cowards so the southern Kent

While Cumbria is gripped from north and east?

KENT

I am not wished to hear thy slanders, cur!

CUMBRIA

Nor Saxons wished to peace by Kent’s desires!

CAERLEON

Enough vain heat! My lords of England, peace!
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Enter Alexander

GLOUCESTER

What word hast thou, sirrah?
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ALEXANDER

No king is here.

GLOUCESTER

He comes anon. Again: what word? Make haste.

ALEXANDER

My master bids me say: “No king is here.”

NORFOLK

What master, fool?

ALEXANDER

Which is the lord protector?

GLOUCESTER

Thou clog’st
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him, stamm’ring chough.
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ALEXANDER

He greets you thus:

“Vice-regent for unrightful, sneaking prince.”

GLOUCESTER

What master lays such words upon thy tongue?

ALEXANDER

Grant leave, ye English nobles, I my words

May unconstrained display, as charged by Loth,

Great Pictish king, and Mordred, Duke of Rothesay.

GLOUCESTER

Thou tarried long for license, messenger,

By now is absolution pertinent.
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Yet doubt
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no moody welcome here. Proceed.

ALEXANDER

Then thus speaks Loth, the king of Picts.

KENT

And Mordred.

ALEXANDER

Yes, too, and Mordred, Duke of Rothesay, too.

’Tis thus they speak, in fewness and in truth.

KENT

So plainly warned do I now hope for neither.

Come, tell, what would thy dwarfish duke
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proclaim?

ALEXANDER

That Arthur was by boist’rous violence
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And out of holy wedded state begot.

King Uter stole a womb from Cornwall’s bed,

There planted criminal
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seed, and slew the earl,

Ennobled false pretender, spawned no heir.

By any Christian law, adultery

Creates a bastard with no right to throne,

And crime ’gainst God it is to lift a sword

To pillar
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so triobular
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a claim.

Nor Uter nor his brother left no issue.
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Their elder sister, Anne, was wife to Loth,

Who rules all Pictland, Scots, and Irish lands,

Who’s now, by Anne’s bond, English king and Welsh.

King Loth and Mordred bid you, English lords

And bishops, rouse up London, ope its abbey

Wherein pay homage due to Loth, your king,

According as the Britons’ custom is.

DERBY

’Tis all?

ALEXANDER

With this complete and with your love,

He bids the Welsh and English chivalry

Unite with all his lands and western isles,

Together dash the Saxon from his realm.

DERBY

Art breathless yet?

GLOUCESTER

He asks no more than this?

Our lives, our wealth, vouchsafe his endless line,

And vail
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our pride to serve him as his bondmen?
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ALEXANDER

The duke hath taught me more should you dispute

The logic of my principal dispatch,

Although the latter words I fear to voice.

DERBY

How feculent
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thy northern vapors stink!

Would Mercury’s low wings be fixed above

And beating blow away these winds thou pip’st!
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Didst thou us beg pre-pardon
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and free tongue

To lick our ears with gleeks
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so sour and hot?

Come, take my true reply to your King Loth.

He strikes
[
Alexander
]

ALEXANDER

Unrighteous knight, this violence
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done cold

’Gainst embassy’s anathema to God.

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