The Twelve Kingdoms (19 page)

“What?” I pulled back, seeing nothing, then scanned the moonlit meadow for danger.

“Your sword, darling Ursula.” Harlan laughed and moved me off him, pressing a hand to his groin. “The hilt caught me in a sensitive spot.”

“Oh.” Chagrin cooled me. What had I been thinking? I knew enough of the vulnerabilities of male fighters to have paid attention to that. I unbuckled the belt and set it next to me, edging away as I did so. “I apologize.”

“Don't pull back.” He caught me by the hand, drew me down by his side, settled me so that my head lay on his muscled arm, the bulge as mounded as any pillow, our faces close together. He brushed the hair back from my temple, then stroked my cheek. “You are so beautiful in the moonlight.”

“Because the shadows hide the bruises and swelling, no doubt.”

“On another woman, that might be so. But your beauty is of a different sort—in the set of your jaw and the fire in your eyes. You burn with a strong, clear light. Like the stars in the sky. Remote. Glorious. Exotic.”

“Don't tease me. I don't need your lies, as poetic as they may be.”

His thumb rubbed over my bottom lip, tracing the edge. “This is the truth. I know beauty when I see it.”

“So do I. When your younger sister is ten times more beautiful than you are and the youngest ten times more beautiful than
that
, you quickly learn how such comparisons work. And it's not important to me. I don't need beauty to accomplish what matters most.”

“And what is that?”

“Upholding the legacy of my mother and father. The peace that so many sacrificed so much to obtain.”

“You don't mention your mother often.”

“No. It's . . . painful still. Even after so much time.”

“We never stop grieving some people. How old were you when she died?”

Odd that I didn't mind speaking of it right then. The shadows wrapped around us, bodies close together, intimate and quiet. With long caresses, he followed the line of my throat and collarbone, light, chaste touches that I relaxed into.

“I'd just turned ten years of age. Andi was five and Amelia barely born. I was lucky—they hardly knew her at all.”

“Lucky to know her. Hardest on you because you did.”

Maybe so.

“I heard she died from childbirth?”

Because he'd stroked down to my waist, smoothing his hand over the curve of my hip, I touched his chest, intrigued to feel the play of muscle beneath. He sighed a blissful breath and closed his eyes. Pleasurable, then, too, to feel him soften under my hand. I began to understand why he liked it from me.

“That's the story. It may be true. I have reason, though . . .” I hesitated, but he said nothing, staying pliant and quiet. “It wasn't right away. Maybe the fever took her.”

“But you don't think so,” he murmured, shifting back, so my fingers brushed the skin inside his open shirt. Surprisingly soft, with a scattering of crisp hairs. He made that deep humming sound as I explored that texture, too.

“I don't know,” I admitted. “The alternatives are . . .”
Unthinkable
. “Salena was this amazingly powerful woman. Some say Uorsin won the Great War because of her and the Tala magic she brought to the battlefield.”

“Did she love him?”

“No.” I'd answered too quickly, lulled by the moment. By the seductive scent and feel of his skin. I pulled my hand away and he caught me by the wrist, putting it back.

“Don't stop. You feel even better than I imagined. And I'd imagined a great deal.”

Ah, yes. He'd mentioned those fantasies of my hands on him. I flushed, hoping the darkness covered it, but resumed caressing him. Even moving his shirt aside so I could follow the fold at the crease of his shoulder.

“Why do you suppose she did it, if not out of love?” he asked after a time.

“Others than you would like to know that answer. Salena kept her own counsel. But, in the end at least, she hated Uorsin. I remember that well.”

“She doesn't sound like the sort of person who could be forced.”

“True. She married him—and stayed—for reasons of her own.”
It won't be an easy path. The one of duty and honor never is . . . a path I myself chose.
“She told me once that she did it out of duty and honor.”

“Ah. That's where you get it, then.” Harlan closed his hand over mine before I could pull away again, opening his eyes to stare fiercely into mine. “All that extraordinary strength and power.”

“I'm my father's daughter.”

“You're hers, too.”

He unbent his elbow and leaned up, slowly gathering me against him, giving me time to consider. To say no. I didn't. Instead I tipped my head back, anticipating the drowning kiss that followed. Waves of it swept over me, melting, tumbling. This time I touched him back, his skin hot under my hand, corded neck enticing me to dig in, to take more.

A
fter an eternity of drifting on that sensual sea, I blinked dreamily at him when he pulled away, brushing my hair back with a sweet affection I wasn't sure how to handle. I felt not wholly myself, as if the boundaries between us had somehow blurred with the physical intimacy.

“Why did you stop?”

“You need more sleep. And you're finally relaxed enough to do so.”

I frowned. “I already slept. I should take first watch.”

“You chose a good place. We are protected on all sides but one. You and I are both well trained enough to wake at any disturbance.” He drew his sword and laid it on my other side beside mine, turning me so I lay with my back nestled in the curve of his body, our blades between us and the rest of the world. Side by side, as we were. “We'll both sleep.”

“I thought you wanted sex.”

His laugh rumbled through me and his arm around my waist tightened. “I want you, Ursula. And here you are. I told you—whatever you're able to give. I meant it.”

“
This
is your seduction technique. To leave me wanting.” Not just that, but needing in a way I'd never thought possible.

“I can be patient. This is enough, to hold you against me, to have the scent of you in my head, the flavor of you on my tongue, and the feel of you under my hand. I want you, yes, but not frightened and panicked. And not until you're sure of me. One day you'll want me enough to overcome what went before.”

“I'm not afraid of you.”

“No. I never imagined that, my fearless hawk. We have time. Time enough for you to heal inside and out. I told you I don't mind waiting. One day you'll tell me what happened and we'll proceed from there.”

“I don't want to speak of it.”

“Don't tense up. I won't have only part of you. Only once you trust me with your wounds will I know it's time to take this further. I am a patient man.”

I had no doubt of that. He gathered me closer and, for once, it didn't rankle so much that he saw that in me, the bleeding wound that no one else knew lurked there. Still, I blinked out at the night, unsure what daylight would bring. His breathing deepened and slowed.

I doubted I would sleep before dawn. Though his broad body curled around mine lulled me with its protective warmth. Restorative in its own way.

Still I worried over it all.
Enough to overcome what went before.
I hated that it had become a big deal between us, especially since I'd never thought of it as one.
I tried it and I didn't care to repeat the experience. Ever.
I meant that when I said it. Though physical intimacy held greater appeal now than it ever had, I would not pay such a high price as discussing that terrible night. The awful humiliation of it.

“Relax, Ursula,” Harlan murmured, stroking my flank. “I'll sing you a lullaby.”

I laughed. “I don't need that. I'll keep watch.”

Instead of replying, he sang, low, deep, and soft, a song in his language of blurred syllables and the cadence of the ocean. The dark melody wrapped around me as surely as his arms, and after a time, I forgot what had worried me so.

I must have drifted off, because birdsong wakened me, a chorus of calls greeting Glorianna's sunrise. The events of the night returned in a rush at the same moment I became aware that an iron-thewed arm held me down. Startled, I tried to leap away, but Harlan pulled me back against him, laughing sleepily.

“I should have known you'd come awake all at once. Don't run yet.”

“I'm not. It's dawn. Time to move on.”

“Not just yet.” Stretching his big body, he rose on his elbow, coaxing me onto my back and studying my face.

“What?”

“You look better,” he pronounced.

“I'm so relieved,” I replied in a dry tone. “Does that mean my captivity is at an end?”

“Almost.” He smiled and leaned down, brushing my mouth with one of his gentle, searching kisses. It sighed through me, delicious, tingling and soothing both. “Good morning, Ursula.”

“Hi.” I felt absurdly shy suddenly. Something I hadn't felt since I got over being a too-tall, awkward girl. I shifted restlessly, turning my head to see the growing light, anxious to be on the move. Sifting through all I had revealed the night before.

“Shall we have a workout before we ride?” He loosened his hold on me, though his hand fell intimately to my hip.
The feel of you under my hand.

I rolled away and stood, my body stiff from the long sleep. “Yes. Danu knows I need it.”

“You look good to me.” He grinned, unrepentant, when I pinned him with a glare, then shrugged one shoulder. “I can't help it. If I started falling in love with you when I first saw you in court, watching you run that sword form of yours cemented it. Never have I wanted a woman so much.”

I picked up my sword and pointed it at him. “You should stop saying these things.”

“Not speaking of my feelings won't make them go away, Ursula.”

But I'd be less self-conscious. Something he no doubt knew and wielded against me, another weapon in his vast arsenal.

When I returned from answering the call of nature, he'd stripped down to his small clothes and had already worked up a fine sweat, grunting through a series of push-ups. Deciding to ignore him to the best of my abilities, I settled into the Midnight form, letting it clear my mind and body of the dregs of sleep and seduction.

Much as I hated to admit it, and despite my injuries, I felt better than I had in days. Maybe longer. Muscles and ligaments growing elastic, my body sang as I moved through Danu's ritualized forms, the first blending into the second and on through the twelve. Blood coursing, heart pounding, breath flowing—not with emotion, but with honest exertion—I moved faster and faster, exultant, powerful.

When I finished, holding the last pose for an endless, still moment—always my favorite part—I realized I'd forgotten Harlan's presence. He sat nearby, expression rapt, eyes glittering in the way I'd discovered meant desire.

“You should do that for me naked sometime,” he commented.

“I don't think you need any more encouragement for your prurient fantasies,” I replied, tartly enough to slice through his trance.

He only grinned at me. “Don't worry. I have the fantasies with or without the encouragement.”

“You are a strange man.”

“Ah, my lady love sees through me.” He clasped a hand over his heart, imitating a court minstrel. Then stood when I laughed and, heedless of my sword, snagged me around the waist before I could step away. “Kiss me, Ursula.”

“I already did—a number of times.”

“Not enough.” His mouth captured mine, not so gentle this time, but with a searching hunger, hot, urgent. Hands harder on me than they had been thus far, he pulled me tight against him and wrapped me in a bear hug, one big hand cupping my neck as his mouth and tongue moved over mine. Like answering a swifter attack, I responded in kind. He'd pulled on his clothes at some point but left the shirt unlaced, so my hand bracing on his bare chest encountered the shocking heat of his skin. Without thinking, I dug my nails in and he growled, low and rumbling.

Gasping, unbalanced by the rapid rise of heat, I broke away. He transferred his mouth to my throat just under my ear, sending lightning straight into my blood.

“What will be enough?” I laughed, because I wanted to groan. To growl as he was.

Harlan lifted his head, gazing intently into my face. “That's the thing. I don't think there ever will be.”

Unsettled, I moved away and he let me go, though with reluctance, hands maintaining contact until the last moment. “I don't know what to say to that.”

“You don't always have to have an answer,” he replied easily.

He was wrong on that. I did need an answer.

We rode out soon thereafter, the day bright and warm. I had to remind myself that we weren't on a pleasure jaunt, that danger awaited. Somehow, though, the pressing worries of the day before seemed less grim, less looming.

Sleep always helped. That was all it was.

Marskal had left markers for me to follow, secret signs the Hawks used. After a time I realized the Vervaldr must have done likewise, as Harlan made directional adjustments before I indicated the path marked for me. I made a game of it, following the direction of Harlan's eyes, seeing if I could determine what he looked for.

“The flat gray stones.” I raised an eyebrow at his surprised look. “The number indicate their pace and the alignment the reverse of their direction.”

“Well done. I've not yet determined your system.”

“And you never will. Trade secret.”

“We'll see about that.” He nudged his horse closer and caught my hand, pressing a kiss to it before I pulled away. “I have ways of extracting your secrets.”

As he had the night before. “Look,” I said, “I don't want the others to know anything about—”

“I know how to be discreet,” he interrupted mildly. “Though they know already.”

“Know what?” I had to work to keep my tone even. “There was nothing to know before this. There's still nothing to know.” Only a few kisses had passed between us. That hardly qualified as more than a pub flirtation for most of my Hawks. Though saying as much to Harlan would be baiting the bear in a way I did not care to.

He slid me a look, amused and annoyed, perhaps divining my unspoken thoughts. “You know better. This may be an unusual arena for you, but that's not so for my men or yours. Warriors are sensitive to the ways of the body. The desire between us is not something they'd miss.”

The desire between us.
I tore my gaze away, to stop the unexpected surge of heat, as if by speaking it, Harlan had evoked it. Had I shown desire for him? I didn't think I had. I hadn't even recognized it for what it was. I'd never really believed in it before, I now realized. Standing outside that pane of glass, watching the bizarre motions of people feasting on a meal that had no smell or flavor for me. On some level I'd imagined them all to be pretending, indulging in a lovely fairy tale that had nothing to do with real life.

“I haven't decided what I'm going to do about this,” I finally said, pleased that my voice remained steadily neutral.

“About me, you mean?”

“Yes.” About his determined pursuit and my surprising, growing interest in tasting more. I couldn't remain indecisive for long.

“Do you have to decide?”

I risked a glance at him, to find him watching me with that expectant look, as if he knew he'd be entertained by whatever I said next.

“I think it's important to have a plan, yes.”

“I'm not a battle for you to strategize, Ursula,” he said mildly.

“I'm not so sure of that.”

He laughed, velvety, strumming my nerves. “I look forward to being plundered, then.”

“Don't get your hopes up,” I retorted.

“Too late for that.” He sounded ridiculously cheerful. “My hopes are high indeed. I never thought to find a woman like you. Now I believe all sorts of things are possible. It's a fine place, your Twelve Kingdoms. I thank your goddess for guiding me here.”

“I highly doubt Danu had anything to do with it.”

“You're her faithful warrior. Is it any surprise she rewarded you for it?”

“With you?”

“Yes, my valiant hawk. With me.”

“That remains to be seen.”

“Yes. That's exactly what I've been telling you.”

He had a legal scholar's turn with arguments, using banter to draw me out, his words as flirtatious in their way as his teasing touches and lavishly bestowed kisses. In the final analysis, however, it mattered not at all. Our idyll had come and gone. Trouble lay ahead and I needed to focus on that.