The Twelve Kingdoms (32 page)

“Ursula.” He refused to budge his arm. “Take your steed and go.”

“Not on your life.”

He laughed, a hollow sound. “I'm afraid so.”

Terror, keen and ice-cold, such as I'd never felt before flooded through me. “I'm not leaving you. Let me see.”

I think he wouldn't have, but that unfailing strength had bled away and he couldn't resist me. Dark liver blood covered my hands before I managed to cut away his leather armor. It pulsed out, hot, fast. I pressed down to staunch the bleeding. Too much. The slick, ragged flesh shifted under my hands, sliding away.

A mortal wound.

“Don't weep, my hawk,” he whispered, wrapping a hand around my wrist. “Not for me.”

“Thrice-damn you,” I gritted out, my vision blurry. “Don't you dare die.”

“Sing for me.” His voice had become thready as his lifeblood pumped into the ground.

“I won't let you die.”

“Even you can't fight death, my valiant warrior. Lay my head in your lap and sing me a lullaby. You promised.”

I wanted to argue I'd never promised any such thing. I wanted to badger and bully him into getting up again. But any fool could see he was dying. I'd seen enough of it to know. I rolled up his shirt and packed it into the wound anyway, to forestall death as long as possible, and then did as he asked, gently lifting his head so he could lay it in my lap.

He gazed up at me, eyes no longer sharp. “So beautiful.”

I caught the sob. “I do love you. I should have said so.”

“It's all right. I knew.”

“Of course you did. Arrogant hire-sword.”

“I wouldn't trade it. Any of it. Knowing you. Loving you. The greatest privilege of my life. Even knowing how it would end, I'd do it again.”

“I'm sorry I was so hardheaded.”

“You are perfect. Sing me to sleep.”

So, I did. My voice croaking around the tears, I sang the only lullaby I knew.

I
sang it three times.

He said nothing more; his breath slowed to nothing. He was gone.

I couldn't make myself check to be sure. As if, maybe if I just sat quietly, I wouldn't have to face that I'd lost him forever.

That I sat there in an open meadow under Danu's merciless stars, all alone.

“Glorianna take you, Ursula! Where are you? I know that was you croaking in that frog's voice.”

Was I hallucinating? It couldn't be Ami calling out to me. “Ami?” I said, but no sound emerged. I cleared my throat. “Ami!”

“Oh, thank Glorianna!” She burst through the trees, dressed in leathers, hair cut raggedly short, carrying a dagger. Several impossible things together. But Ami it was. She ran to me and fell to her knees beside me. “Are you hurt? You're covered in blood. Ash! Come help me.”

“Ash is here?” My brain felt stupid.

“Yes. Here he comes. Ash—she needs help.”

“Not me.” I grabbed her hands as Ash came striding up, a bundle strapped to his chest. “Harlan. Ash, you have to heal him. Can you?”

Ami stared down at Harlan's face. “Who is he? I've never seen this man before.”

“It's a really long story. Ash, please! I'll pay any price.”

Ash's uncanny green eyes flashed from my face to Harlan, and he unstrapped the bundle, handed it to Ami, and knelt down. “Let me see.”

“His side. I tried to stop the bleeding, but . . .”

“Essla.” Ami kept her voice soft. “I think he's—”

“Don't say it.” My voice cracked, along with my heart. “I can't bear to hear the words. Please try, Ash.” With a sense of desperate despair, I prayed with all my might to Danu, offering her whatever she required of me. Surely she would not have guided Ash here at this moment, only to hand Harlan over to Glorianna's arms. I didn't know how to withstand that kind of crushing defeat. I'd watched Ami receive the corpse of her true love and badgered her terribly. Awful of me. “I'm sorry I was cruel to you, Ami. When you were grieving. I didn't know how it felt.”

“You were right to do it. You kept me from going off the cliffs long enough to heal.”

Heal. An impossible concept.

“He's alive,” Ash said, sounding terse, “but barely. I need some room here.”

“Wait.” Ami put a hand on his shoulder. “At what cost? You can't endanger yourself.”

Ash looked at me instead. “How much does he matter to you, Your Highness?”

“Everything,” I admitted. I didn't even care to weigh the words, what I promised or how it might mortgage the future. None of that mattered. “I'll pay any price.”

“Done, then.” He nodded solemnly, but the starlight caught the craggy lines of his scarred face, showed the twist of his smile. “Now, get out of the way.”

“Come on, Auntie Essla.” Ami tugged me away as Ash held Harlan's head. “He needs privacy and peace to do this. Hold your nephew and I'll fetch our packs. Is that Fiona?”

I laughed a little, that she would notice, and took the baby, trying to hold him without getting blood on his blankets. Most of it, though, had dried. We'd sat there some time. Then, exhaustion crashing over me, I folded my knees and sat where I could watch Ash work, fancying that a soft green glow emanated from his hands. Astar hiccupped and I angled my arms to better drink in his sleeping face.

“Does he do nothing but sleep?” I asked Ami when she returned, leading two horses.

“Believe me—you're grateful he's asleep. I swear he has all of your meanness and none of my sweet nature. The child is a brat.”

“You don't look like a brat,” I cooed at Astar and kissed him on his forehead. He smelled of milk and soft, sweet new life. Something to hold on to.

“Here.” Ami tugged out one of my hands and splashed water from a canteen over it, wiping the blood away with a cloth. “Is any of this yours?”

“Some maybe. Most of it is Harlan's.”

“And he is?”

My lover. My love. My unlooked-for partner for life. All the names for him tangled in my head. “A Dasnarian mercenary,” I finally said, knowing he'd be amused that's what I'd settled on. “How came you to be here? Terin said he had you captive. He gave us your hair.”

“As you can see, that's the only part of me that rat bastard has. Not for lack of trying.” She gave me my cleaned hand back and reached for the other.

“He has Andi now. Lured with the threat to your life. Some kind of plan for her to do something with Stella. Rayfe is tracking her. We were attacked and sorely pressed. Harlan injured. They could be back anytime.” The thoughts seemed to come in disconnected bursts. From a distance, I considered that I might be in shock.

“There's no Tala about. We had to stay away from the area until they cleared out.”

“How do you know?”

She wrinkled her nose. “Can't you smell them? Especially Terin's lot. I can smell their particular stink a league away.”

I giggled and Ami stared into my face, using the cloth to wipe the blood away, then to cool my brow.

“You're bad off, Essla,” she said, a worried frown creasing her forehead. She should be rubbing it away, to prevent wrinkles, but she didn't. “What can I do for you?”

“I don't know.” I looked down at Astar. “I don't know anything anymore.”

She gently lifted the babe from me and I missed his warm weight immediately, a chill making me shiver. “Drink this water and lie back. Let me tend to you.”

“You sound like Harlan.” I did as she bade and she tucked Astar into the crook of my arm.

“Then he must be a good man.”

“He is. I'm in love with him.”

“Quite the development.” She worked on the side away from the baby, removing my clothes in pieces, washing the various bites and scrapes she found. “You've lost a lot of blood, I think. You're hurt more than you knew. Drink more water.”

“He wants to kill Uorsin, though.”

“Good.”

Something about her terse agreement penetrated the dreamy haze. “How can you say that?”

She moved Astar to my other side and set to work again, unbuckling my sword belt. I stopped her. “No.”

“It's right here. Right by your hand. See? The topaz is glowing.”

It was glowing, as if lit from within.
A star to guide you.
“The Star of Annfwn.”

“Is it? A pretty name. I always figured that jewel came from Mother.”

“We have to rescue Andi.”

“We will, but it will help if you're not half-dead.”

“Harlan died.” Tears slid out of me, the stars above kaleido-scoping into a blurry, colorful wheel.

“No, honey. He's alive, remember? Ash will heal him.”

“Ash saved you.”

“That's right. Drink some more water and sleep for a bit, and when you wake up, he'll be waiting for you.”

“He said he'd wait for me as long as I needed.”

“There you go. A good man. A patient one, it sounds like. As would be necessary for anyone foolish enough to fall in love with you. Sleep now.”

“Someone needs to keep watch.”

“I will. I'm here. You watched over me. Let me watch over you.” She covered me with a blanket, tucking it carefully around Astar.

I turned my head, to smell my nephew's hair. The Star pulsed hot in my other hand. The bright stars dimmed at the edges and I spun away into the dark.

A baby's harsh wail awakened me, though it was swiftly silenced. I sat bolt upright, sword in my hand, my nephew gone. “Astar!”

Ami turned, a pleased and relieved smile on her lips. She stood with a dagger in one hand and the baby in the crook of her arm, suckling at her breast. Even with her hair a ragged mess, it shone red-gold in the rising sunlight and she could have stepped out of a painting of Glorianna as mother.

“You live.” She sounded wry. “Good. It was getting boring, having no one to talk to.”

I got to my feet, my body a protesting mess of aches and pains. “You're standing watch alone—with nothing but a short blade and a nursing baby?”

“Yes, well, I thought about washing my hair and having a picnic, but this seemed like the thing to do.”

The meadow rolled bright green around us, the five horses happily grazing and showing no sign of disturbance. A short distance away, Harlan lay where he'd fallen. Ash passed out beside him. I wanted to ask if he'd lived through the night, but terror of the wrong answer kept me from asking.

“He's alive,” Ami said. “I think it took everything Ash had to bring him back, but—before
he
toppled over—Ash said that the Dasnarian will survive.”

I nodded. Stood there a moment longer to absorb the crash of relief. Then sheathed my sword and went to him. He looked good. Normal, even, though still covered in dried blood that flaked off his skin. The area where the terrible bite had taken a chunk out of him gleamed a fresh and tender pink, soft to the touch, compared to the rest of him.

“An impressive-looking man,” Ami commented from beside me, then widened her pretty violet eyes in innocence. “What? I can look.”

“When did you get so earthy?”

“Good sex will do that to a girl. Wouldn't you say?”

“No comment.” I sat back on my heels. “I can't believe you stood watch all night with all of us out. What would you have done if the Tala attacked? And since when do you know how to use a dagger?”

She looked a little grim. “I was really hoping not to find out. Though Ash can be awakened from the recovery sleep if needed and he's made me learn enough to stay alive until I can get to him. Still, I'm more than happy to hand guard duty over to you. If you're up to it. How do you feel?”

“I'm fine. Stiff and sore, probably not much endurance, but I can make it for a while.”

Ami blinked, cocked her head. “Did you just admit to weakness?”

“Oh, shut up. Ash slept for days after healing you—are we in for that again?”

“Maybe not so long. It helps tremendously that we're inside Annfwn. And, as I said, he can be awakened enough to put him on a horse. We can strap Astar to him and he'll sleep that way.” She made a face. “We've done that quite a bit, with it being just the three of us.”

“I thought you were bringing your personal guard with you.”

“Did. Until we had to cross the barrier. Then we were on our own. Here, now that you're awake you can take the baby and stand guard. I'll get more water and we can eat while we catch each other up.” She showed me how to strap Astar's carrying bundle over my shoulders, so he lay against my chest, looking cranky to be removed from his mother's far more cushioned breast.

Experimentally, I drew my sword and checked the range of motion. Not ideal, but workable. Astar quit making those grumpy noises and waved his little fists. Moving slowly, I kept an eye on Ami as she headed down to the little stream at the border of the meadow and woods, and I worked through some basic limbering exercises. It helped banish some of the aches, though my head pounded. What were Andi and Rayfe dealing with? There would be no finding out unless we figured out how to move the mountain that was the sleeping Harlan.

“Here you go.” Ami handed me a refilled canteen and transferred Astar to be buckled against her again. “Ash said you'd have a headache, losing all that blood, and to drink lots of water to replenish. He was sorry not to be able to heal you, too.”

“I owe him everything already,” I said simply, my gaze going to Harlan. I'd feel better when he woke up.

“So . . .” Ami sat cross-legged and set out some food—fruit and meat, mainly. “How did my heartless sister fall in love with a foreign mercenary from a country I only vaguely recall hearing about before and swap her sword for a real live man in her bed?”

“You first. Your tale is more salient to our next steps.”

Her gaze flicked to Harlan. “I'm not so sure of that, but okay. After we left Windroven, Ash tracked Terin into the Wild Lands. No big surprise there.”

“How did you pick up his trail?”

She smiled, radiantly lovely, but with an edge. “Mainly Tala network. Don't look like that. You know better than I, I imagine, just how many prisons hold Tala expatriates—and how many have escaped over time. The ones that can get back into Annfwn have. The ones who can't, along with the ones who haven't had the opportunity to make the journey and appeal to Andi for entry, or that have been refused entry, which is something we need to talk about, live in various states of hiding. There are ways of finding them.”