The UN Series Complete Box Set (54 page)

“I’m getting dressed and going back downstairs.”

“Angel,” I whisper as I walk over to her. “You don’t have to. They all understand what you’re going through and that you need some time alone.”

She takes a few deep breaths, keeping her back to me. I can’t help but let my eyes rake over her high-heels, her bare legs, and her ass in only a black lace thong, her hair falling down her back. I am so fucking hard and craving her that I actually contemplate throwing her onto the bed and taking what is mine.

Then she turns around and I see tears running down her cheeks. I mentally slap myself. What the fuck am I thinking? She just had two men trying to upset her. Her mother has died. She has no one left, no one but me. I walk up to her and her body sags against mine as she hugs me. Her frame shakes as she cries into my chest. I pick her up and carry her to the bed. We lie down and I hold her.

“I love you, Angel,” I whisper as I kiss her head.

“I love,” she says between hiccups, “you too, Slade.”

It breaks my heart. I squeeze her to me as tightly as I can, holding on for dear life, because she is my life.

She peers up at me, and I gently wipe the tears from her face. “Why are you with me?”

My fingers pause over her cheeks and I frown. “Because I love you.”

She pulls my hands away. “No one can love someone as selfish as me,” she whispers as she moves to get out of bed.

I grab her arm and pull her back, rolling myself on top of her.

“Let me up, Slade,” she cries as she tries to push me off. I grab her hands, pinning them down by her head.

“Stop.” I hate how she sees herself. She is still that caring, loving, passionate woman that I am madly in love with.

“You don’t love me.” She shakes her head.

“I do. I am in love with you, Angel.”

“You
can’t
love me,” she screams.

“Why not?” I yell back.

She flinches and stops shaking her head as her green eyes land on mine.

“Why not, Angel?” I demand. Maybe this is what I need to do. Maybe I need to get her mad and then she will tell me what she is feeling.

“Because everyone who loves me will leave me.” Tears slide down the side of her face as she closes her eyes.

Letting go of her wrists, I cradle her face in my hands. “Look at me.”

She opens her eyes slowly, blinking the tears away. “I love you,” I whisper, bringing my lips down to hers. “I’m not going to leave you. I promise, Angel. You are my forever,” I remind her as she lets out a sob.

“Please leave,” she whispers.

“What?”

She closes her eyes tightly. “Please leave,” she repeats, “I don’t want you in here right now.”

“No. I’m not going to leave you,” I rasp out.

She tries to speak but I lean down and place my lips on hers. I kiss her sweetly, slowly coaxing her tongue to meet mine. She needs to physically feel something right now besides heartache. She needs to know that I love her. What are words without the actions to prove one’s self? She kisses me back slowly. I place a hand in her hair, pulling her head back for me. I place my lips on her neck and trail a path up to her jaw. I make my way back to her lips and she kisses me back this time with as much force as I kiss her with.

I pull away and roll over, lifting her on top of me. I pick up her hand and place it on my chest. “Do you feel that, Angel?” I ask as she quietly weeps.

She nods her head once.

“That is my heartbeat. It only beats for you, Angel. It has always only ever beat for you. I only breathe for you. All I think about is my forever with you. Believe me, I am not going anywhere. You can push me away as much as you want. It won’t matter, I’ll push back.” I will too, it doesn’t fucking matter that she doesn’t want me to see her like this.

She lays her head on my chest and takes a deep breath as I smooth her hair down her back.

It doesn’t take more than a few minutes for her to fall asleep. I let go of her and move out from underneath her. I take off her heels one at a time and place the blanket over her.

I head down to find out what’s going on. I see my mother as I get to the bottom of the stairs. “Hey Mom, where is everyone?”

“The family is in the kitchen eating. Everyone else has left,” she responds sadly.

“They left already?”

She nods. “They could hear Samantha arguing with someone and figured it was time to go. They know she is having a hard time.”

I sigh, running my hand over my face. “That was me. She was yelling at me. It wasn’t her fault.” How could I have been so inconsiderate to the people who had shown up to pay their respects to Marie?

“I know, hun.” She puts her arm in the crook of mine. “Come on, let’s go eat.”

We walk into the kitchen and my eyes catch sight of Courtney by the coffee pot. She is leaning against the counter giving me a weird look.

“Where’s Sam?” she asks, voice hard.

“She cried herself to sleep,” I respond flatly, not happy with her tone.

“What were you doing to piss her off?”

“Courtney drop it,” Josh says before I can reply. “I would have done the same thing if someone who kept a horrible secret about you was making things worse.”

“She—”

“Drop it,” Josh snaps at her.

I try to hide my surprise that he just snapped at her in front of everyone. Courtney, on the other hand, looks pissed. I can tell everyone is anxious and upset. I look around the room and see Holly quietly crying while Micah rubs her back. My mom and dad are sitting across from them at the dining table silently drinking coffee. My dad doesn’t look like he just beat the shit out of another man.

He’s always been that way. Once he beats the shit out of someone, he walks away in a good mood. I, however, take a little longer to calm down.

I look down at my watch and see it’s almost six in the evening. I’m so glad this day is almost over with. I am ready to get back home, where it is just me and Angel.

“What time are we leaving tonight?” Josh asks once he knows Courtney is going to keep her mouth shut.

“Once Angel wakes up from her nap.” I run a hand through my hair. “I want her home in our house, away from here. I think things will be easier on her that way.”

The room falls silent for a few minutes as I think about her moving in with me. I hate that she still has to worry about the move. I wish she already lived with me because it fucking sucks to move.

“I have an idea.” I look up at the guys. “Will you guys help me tomorrow with moving her stuff into my house?”

Josh and Micah start nodding their heads. “I just know that if I wait until next weekend then she will start trying to move herself on Monday. I don’t want her doing any of that on her own.”

“No worries, we will help you,” Josh says, coming over to me. He surprises me by pulling me into a man hug. “I’m so happy for you and Sam.”

“Thanks.” I pat his back. Josh and I have always been as close as Micah and I, but we have probably hugged only a handful of times.

“We need to get going to the airport,” my mom finally says, standing. “Will you tell Samantha to call me tomorrow?”

“Yeah.” Maybe she can go over to my parents’ house. That will give her something to do while I move her belongings to mine.

“Where are the keys to your rental cars?” my dad asks as he approaches. “We will drive them back.”

“Hadn’t thought of that.” I’m trying my hardest to think of everything so Angel doesn’t stress. I know her mind is full of unwanted memories and things she has to get done. I need to stay one step ahead of her, so I can get her the hell out of this state.

The guys and I help load up my parents’ bags into the cars and tell them goodbye. We walk back into the house and make our way to the kitchen.

“Did you get Courtney’s things packed?” I don’t know how long she intends to stay, but if she’s anything like Angel, she has three closets full of clothes and shoes.

“We have Courtney’s things packed and are ready to roll.” He sits back down at the kitchen table next to her.

“How long are you going to be staying in St. Louis, Courtney?”

She gives me a shy smile then looks over at Josh. “Well, I plan on moving there.”

“Like for good?” I lean up, placing my elbows on the table.

She nods.

“What about your job?”

“I quit.” She grins. “I’ll get a new one there.”

Micah and I stare at her with a dumbfounded look on our faces while Josh leans over and kisses her. Damn, they are moving awfully fast. I keep my mouth shut though. Josh never said anything to me about falling for Angel so quickly.

“Are you all packed?” I ask Micah, changing the subject.

“Yeah, we can go ahead and load the last few boxes up in Sam’s truck.”

I stand up to follow him out to the garage. We had already placed all of the boxes out there. I was actually very surprised with how few boxes Angel ended up packing to take back with us. She didn’t keep as many things as I thought she would. I know it was very hard for her to give all those things away. I’m sure if she really thought about it, everything was sentimental.

“Do you think Sam is going to be okay?” Micah asks lifting a box into the back of the Tahoe.

I give those words some thought. “Do I think she will be okay?” I repeat slowly.“No,” I answer honestly. Not after the outburst she had up in her bedroom. “Do I think she’ll learn to get over the loss? Yes, eventually.” I don’t know what hurt will linger longer; the loss of her mother, or the fact that she thought her mom was pushing her away. Either way, it is going to affect her.

Micah and I load the last box and close the hatch as Holly enters the garage. “Sam is up from her nap.” The sad look on Holly’s her face tugs at my heart. I nod my head and walk back into the house, heading for the kitchen.

“Where is she?” I ask, but Josh doesn’t hear me as he is speaking with Courtney. “Josh. Where is Angel?”

“Oh,” he says, turning around to look at me with a smile on his face, “she went back upstairs.”

I walk up to her room and slowly open her door. “Angel?”

She’s in the bathroom, shoving stuff into a bag. I approach her from behind and turn her to face me. “Are you okay?” Her green eyes look soft and happy.

“Yes.” She frowns, and then asks, “Are you okay? Is something wrong, Slade?” She reaches up, cupping my face with her hands.

Why would she be worried about me? I’m fine.

“I know you didn’t sleep well last night. Do you want to talk about something? Is it work? I want you to know you can talk to me, Slade.”

I shake my head, kind of at a loss over what is happening. How can it be that she is worried about me? And if she knows I didn’t sleep well last night, that means she didn’t sleep well last night either. I take in a deep breath and pull her hand away from my face to kiss her knuckles. “You know you don’t have to pretend, right? It’s okay to be upset.”

She yanks her hand away from mine and spins around to finish packing.

“Angel?”

“I know, Slade,” she says with a bite to her words. “Let’s just get out of here.” She picks up her now full bag and walks out of the bathroom. I sigh, running a hand through my hair, trailing after her once again. Maybe she just wants to ignore what happened earlier with Marie’s ex, and the entire Tate situation.

*****

SAMANTHA

I close my eyes tightly trying to ignore the pounding headache that I’m pretty sure I got from taking that God awful nap earlier. I sit in the passenger seat of the Tahoe, staring out the window. I watch the kids in the backseat of passing cars laugh and push one another. Every family we pass seems to be happy. I wish I could be happy. I feel as if every time I think of something to be happy about, Slade makes me reconsider. I don’t know what he wants from me. Does he not want me to move on from my mother’s passing? Does he expect me to live the rest of my life mad at myself for never making the effort to come home? Should I feel that way?

I sigh because I don’t know what the fuck to think or how to act. We have been on the road for over two hours now and have said maybe five words. Slade tried to talk to me several times but I mostly responded by just shaking or nodding my head. I bet he thinks I have fallen asleep.

All I can think about is what Greg said to me earlier today. My mom admitted she had cheated on my father. She had been so ashamed about that confession I cannot imagine her doing that to someone else she loved. But he had a point, I was never home. I wasn’t out whoring around like he so colorfully stated, but I was still not there.

I look through my sunglasses as we continue to pass cars. Leaning my forehead against the cold window, I start to think about my mother’s urn, which is sitting on the floor behind my seat along with my father’s urn.

Once again, I had an outburst today, but at least only Slade saw it this time. When I woke up, I felt like a different person. I felt like there was nothing that could bring me down. No one else to pop up and make me feel guilty. We were leaving that house behind and going to start a life together. Of course, Slade ruined it within ten minutes by, once again, reminding me that I have demons. Demons from my past that will always haunt me.