Read The Uncertain Years Online
Authors: Beryl Matthews
Tomorrow he’d slip away and see Alice.
With his war correspondent’s papers, Will had access to almost any camp, and through his film reports he had become quite well known. The guard on the gate even called him ‘sir’ when he asked him who he’d come to see.
‘Could you direct me to Colonel Brent’s office?’
‘I’ll escort you there myself. Is he expecting you?’
‘No, I only arrived back in this country yesterday.’
‘Ah.’ The guard nodded as he walked beside Will. ‘I saw one of your news reports from Italy, and it looked a bit rough where you were.’
‘It was, but that’s where the stories are.’
‘Of course.’ The soldier opened a door and gave Will an admiring glance. ‘You blokes are doing a good job. Up the stairs and it’s the second door on the left.’
‘Thank you.’ Will followed his directions and rapped on the door.
‘Come in,’ a female voice called.
He stepped inside the room. ‘I’ve come to wish you a happy Christmas.’
‘Will!’ Alice leapt to her feet and rushed to greet him. ‘Where did you come from?’
‘Italy,’ he laughed as she hugged him, planting a gentle kiss on his cheek.
‘Oh, it’s good to see you.’
‘I arrived back yesterday and found the house full with Becky, Bob, Jim and the two Americans. Everyone’s there except you, so I thought I’d come and see you today. Have you got any free time?’
‘I’m sorry, Will—’ She stopped when Colonel Brent walked in.
The officer looked at Will for a moment, then held out his hand. ‘You must be Will Adams. I’ve heard a lot about you from Brigadier Hammond. It’s a pleasure to meet you.’
‘And you, sir.’ Will shook hands. ‘I hope you don’t mind me coming to see Alice?’
‘Not at all. It’s quiet around here today. In fact there isn’t much going on for a couple of days.’ He took a form out of the desk and wrote on it, then handed it to Alice. ‘Three days is all I can let you have, but that will allow you to spend Christmas with your friends.’
‘Thank you, sir.’ Alice’s face lit up with pleasure. ‘I haven’t seen Will for such a long time.’
‘Grab your things and come home with me. Everyone will be so pleased to see you. The house is crowded, but you can share a room with Becky.’ Will gave her a little push. ‘Hurry. I’ll give you fifteen minutes.’
With a bright smile on her face, Alice sped away.
‘That was good of you, sir. We both appreciate it.’
‘My pleasure.’ The officer indicated he should sit. ‘Now, tell me what’s really going on in Italy.’
Alice was back quickly as promised, but finding the two men in serious conversation, she waited patiently at the door.
Will cast her an apologetic look, and when she indicated that he should carry on, he turned his attention back to Colonel Brent.
After another fifteen minutes the officer stood up. ‘I mustn’t keep you any longer. Thank you for putting me in the picture, Will. Can you drive?’
Will nodded. ‘It’s necessary in my job.’
The officer scribbled on another form. ‘Take this to transport and they’ll give you the use of a car. Alice will show you where it is, and you can bring it back when Alice has to return.’
‘Thank you, sir.’ Will could hardly believe his luck. He’d come here hoping to be able to snatch some time with Alice, and had ended up with a pass for her, and the use of a car!
Will and Alice hurried out, eager to make the most of their unexpected good fortune.
The car they were given was old but it sounded sweet when Will turned on the ignition. ‘Nice,’ he said to the soldier who was leaning on the open window.
‘It ought to be.’ He grinned. ‘Your sister was the last one to work on it. I swear she’s only got to approach an engine with a spanner in her hand and it wouldn’t dare misbehave.’
Will roared with laughter. ‘That sounds like my sister.’
The soldier smirked. ‘Who else?’
‘Pete!’ Alice scolded. ‘You’re making her sound like a bully.’
‘She is, but only where engines are concerned.’ His smile broadened. ‘Apart from that she’s the nicest girl on the camp.’
‘Oh, thanks,’ Alice said in a hurt voice.
‘Correction. She’s one of the two best girls in camp.’
‘Too late.’ Alice tried to keep a straight face, and failed. ‘Come on, Will, let’s get out of here, or my leave will be over before we get through the gates.’
Pete tapped the top of the car and stepped back. ‘Take good care of her.’
As they drove away Will said jokingly, ‘I wonder if he was talking about you or the car?’
‘Oh, undoubtedly the car.’ Alice shook her head in amusement, and once through the gates, she asked, ‘Are you quite sure it will be all right for me to come home with you?’
Will reached across and briefly squeezed her hand. ‘They will all be delighted. Greg and Hal have brought enough food with them to feed half the street. Mum told me that includes a turkey, and you know how scarce they are.’
‘A turkey? Where on earth did they get that?’
‘We didn’t ask.’
‘No, best not to, I suppose.’ Her expression turned wistful. ‘I haven’t had anything like that for a long, long time.’
‘Nor me. I seem to have been living on army rations for years. It’s surprising what you’ll eat when you’re hungry.’
They drove for about half an hour when Will pulled over and stopped. He turned to face Alice. ‘Do you mind if we talk?’
‘I thought that was what we had been doing, but you look serious. What is it, Will?’
‘You realise that 1944 will bring the invasion of Europe, and the push to defeat Germany?’
She nodded.
‘Well, the next few months are going to be busy for me, and I want to tell you something while I have the chance.’ He took a deep breath. ‘I’ve become very fond of you, Alice. In fact I fell for you the first time I saw you.’
She started to speak, but he stopped her.
‘No, don’t say anything. I know you lost the man you loved and are probably not interested in anyone else at the moment, but I want you to know how I feel. I don’t suppose I stand a chance, do I?’
‘Oh, Will, I do care for you very much. But I’m frightened to make a commitment again. You’re always in the thick of the fighting, and I couldn’t face that agony again.’
‘I understand.’ He leant across and kissed her gently on the lips. ‘Will you promise me something?’
‘If I can.’
‘Keep writing to me, then when this war’s over we’ll talk again, and until that day comes I’ll continue to hope. Promise me that what I’ve just told you won’t change anything between us.’
‘I promise, Will.’
‘Good.’ He started the car again and they resumed their journey, talking about things that interested them.
Will breathed a quiet sigh of relief; he’d taken a chance by revealing his feelings for her, but it had not appeared to damage their easy relationship. This year was going to be a dangerous time, and it was sensible to take things cautiously, but he knew he loved her, and was prepared to wait. He felt happier now he’d told her how he felt, and she had moved across the seat closer to him, so that was encouraging.
Laughter was coming from the front room when they arrived at the house, and Alice smiled at him. ‘Sounds like they’re enjoying themselves. Thank you for coming for me, Will.’
‘I’m glad your boss was so generous.’ He opened the door and stood there for a moment until there was a lull in the chatter. ‘Look who I’ve found.’
Giving a cry of delight, Becky was the first one to reach Alice. ‘How did you get away?’
‘That was all down to Will,’ she said, as everyone crowded around her.
‘This is wonderful!’ Will’s father declared. ‘Put the kettle on, Mavis. Sit down, my dear, and tell us how long Will managed to wangle for you.’
‘Three days.’ Alice looked at the parents. ‘I hope it’s all right for me to descend upon you unannounced?’
‘Of course it is. The more the merrier.’ Becky’s mother was smiling happily as she headed for the door. ‘I think this calls for some of those lovely biscuits Greg and Hal brought with them.’
‘Cookies, ma’am,’ they said laughing.
‘Sorry, cookies it is, then.’
‘Gee.’ Greg couldn’t stop smiling. ‘This is going to be a great Christmas, and let’s hope it’s the last one during wartime. What do you think are the chances of it all being over by this time next year, Will?’
‘It could be, but don’t bank on it. The Germans won’t let us walk into their country unopposed, and only total surrender will do.’
‘Yeah.’ Greg sobered for a moment, and then the easy smile was back again. ‘Let’s make the most of this time together, because none of us know where we’ll be next year.’
Everyone agreed with that just as Mavis and Sally returned with a trolley of teas and snacks.
‘Let’s not talk about the war for a few days,’ Bob’s mother scolded as she handed round the cookies.
‘Good idea.’ Becky got up to help serve the tea.
Hal was looking out of the window. ‘Will, did you come in that army car?’
Will nodded. ‘Another little gift from Alice’s boss.’
‘How much gas you got?’ Greg was also gazing out now.
‘Not much, but we could take a short ride somewhere. Anything you particularly want to see?’
‘Richmond Park,’ they said together.
‘That isn’t far from here so we’ll definitely have enough petrol to go there. That’s if we can get in?’ Will wasn’t sure about that, but it was worth a try. ‘If the gates are closed we could go to the Terraces on Richmond Hill. There’s a lovely view of the Thames from there.’
‘That’s great! We’ve got our cameras with us and want pictures to send back home. We’ve done London and now
we want some views of the countryside.’ Greg glanced around the room. ‘And we want pictures of all of you.’
‘Let’s do that now while it’s still light.’ Hal tore out of the room and could be heard running up the stairs. He was soon back. ‘The sun’s trying to come out, so let’s all go into the back garden.’
Everyone grabbed their coats and filed outside. Hal and Greg knew exactly what they wanted, ushering them into different groups, and then one including them all.
‘Mr Adams, will you take one of us with Will and Bob, as a memory of how we met on the boat coming over?’
When they were satisfied they had enough snaps, they returned to the front room to warm themselves by the log fire.
Will spoke quietly to his sister. ‘As the trip to Richmond is just up the road we’ll have enough petrol for London and perhaps a dance.’
‘That would be wonderful. But are you sure we can do that?’
Will grinned. ‘I saw Pete slip a couple of cans in the boot.’
‘Good old Pete.’
‘Seems like a nice bloke.’
‘He is, and we often go for a drink with him, or sometimes the pictures. He’s a happily married man with two children he adores, and he treats us like friends, which suits us fine.’
Will nodded, and took a biscuit from the plate on the trolley. ‘Right, I suggest we go to Richmond in the morning while the women are cooking that wonderful
turkey. I can only cram five in, so who’s coming?’
‘Bob and Jim should be the other two to go,’ Bob’s father suggested.
‘All the young men together,’ Mavis agreed. ‘But I want you all back by three o’clock at the latest. I don’t want our meal to spoil.’
It turned out to be the best Christmas they’d had since the war began. Greg and Hal came from large families and were happy to be with their adopted family, as they now called them. The trip to Richmond had been very enjoyable, and many pictures had been taken. They had even managed to fit in a dance.
Alice was the first to leave, and then the Americans, but the rest of them were able to see in the New Year together.
On the stroke of midnight, Becky’s father held up his glass. ‘Welcome to 1944, and may you all be safe and with us at the same time next year.’
Over the next few months Becky was able to catch up with her brother quite a few times, and also Jim, who like Will was still in Great Britain. She only saw Bob once, but apart from that they didn’t manage to get home at the same time. Christmas had been the only time they’d all been together, and it had been such a special time.
On a beautiful day in May, Becky was playing in the garden with Sara and the dog, when the girl gave a squeal of delight, and rushed to her father’s waiting arms, calling, ‘Daddy!’
He swung her high as she showered him with kisses, and the scene brought a lump to Becky’s throat.
Mr and Mrs Hammond were standing watching with smiles on their faces, and Becky joined them.
‘Hello, Rebecca.’ David bent and kissed her cheek. ‘You look lovely, and I’m very pleased to see you here.’
‘Rebecca comes all the time,’ Sara told him. ‘And
sometimes she brings a car and takes us out for a ride. It’s fun.’
‘I’m sure it is. That’s very kind of you, my dear,’ he said gently.
Becky nodded. ‘When did you get back?’
‘Today. I came straight here, but I can’t stay long.’
‘I suppose you’re back to prepare for the invasion,’ she said, knowing this was on everyone’s mind now. ‘Do you know when it will be?’
‘Soon,’ was all he would say.
After only fifteen minutes David gave his daughter a huge hug, said goodbye to them and left again.
It seemed as if the entire country was on the move. Becky drove past lines of lorries packed with men, and there were tanks and all kinds of vehicles. The major general and two other high-ranking officers were silent in the back of the car, and she couldn’t help wondering what their thoughts were at this momentous time. The invasion of France was imminent, and it was an enormous undertaking.
Her mind turned to her brother, the boys and David. They had all been preparing for this moment for months, and they’d seen very little of Greg and Hal. It was exciting and frightening at the same time. With the combined forces of all the Allies they were now ready to launch an attack. She prayed her brother wouldn’t go in with the first wave ashore, but knowing Will that’s where he would want to be.
She had hoped David would be in the car as well, but he had sent her a message saying that he would be travelling
with his regiment. Being an artillery unit they were almost certain to be amongst the first troops.
‘Damn the weather,’ the major general muttered. ‘The forecast is not good, but we can’t delay too long. With troop movements on this scale it’s going to be a miracle if we can keep it a secret. Blast it! They mustn’t know we’re coming.’
The column of lorries stopped, and Becky had to do the same as tanks rumbled out of a wooded area where they had been hidden. She drew in a deep breath. They were Canadian. Were some of the men they’d danced with amongst them?
Everything started to move again, slowly, and she could almost feel the tension coming from the officers in the car. She made a decision, and said, ‘Major General Villiers, I could make faster progress if I left the convoy and took some of the back roads.’
‘Do it, but don’t get us damned well lost,’ came the tense reply. ‘Get us in front of this if you can.’
‘Yes, sir.’ Becky took a sharp right turn and put her foot down, praying she didn’t make a mess of this. The signposts had all been removed long ago, so she would have to trust her sense of direction.
Fortunately it had always been good, and two hours later she was pulling in to the port with the convoy behind her. It was only when her passengers had hurried away that Becky looked around at the amazing scene. Some ships were being loaded with men, others were already full, and the sheer number of ships was incredible, not to mention the thousands of men waiting to set sail. The plans had
all been put on hold because the weather forecast was not good enough. She felt sorry for the men already crowded on boats. The waiting would be agony.
‘Becky!’ she heard someone call, and she turned to see her brother running towards her.
‘Will, how did you manage to see me in this crowd?’
‘Easy, I just watched for any officers arriving and hoped you might be driving. Are you staying for a while?’
‘No, I’m going back to camp right now. Are you sailing with the troops?’
‘Yes, but second wave.’
She breathed a quiet sigh of relief. ‘Have you news of any of the others?’
‘I saw Jim a few days ago and he’s parachuting in, but I don’t know the date. He might already be over there. And as far as I know, Bob’s with the naval ships.’
Tension knotted her stomach. All three of the boys were going to be in the thick of it. ‘I believe David’s here as well. You haven’t seen him, have you?’
‘No, he’s probably already on a ship, but they can’t go in this weather.’ Will glanced around as more troops arrived. ‘I’ve got to go.’
‘Take care, Will. I’ll be thinking of you all.’ She would like to stay a while, but this was not the place for her to be, and she had been ordered to go straight back to the camp.
The roads were nearly empty now, and so was the camp by the time she reached it. It was strange not having Pete and the other men around, but transport was important and every available man was needed.
She stood by the car for a moment, feeling rather lonely, and wishing she could take a more active part in this operation.
‘All we can do now is wait and pray,’ Alice said as she came and stood beside her.
‘You should have seen it, Alice. There are thousands of men being packed into boats, not knowing if the invasion is going ahead or not. How on earth can they keep such a huge movement of troops a secret?’
‘Seems impossible.’ Alice shrugged. ‘But whether they go or not is up to those in charge. Have you got time for a cup of tea?’
‘Hang on a minute while I find out if I’m needed.’ Becky checked with the transport commander, and finding she was free for an hour she joined Alice again. She fell into step beside her friend. ‘What will you do now Colonel Brent isn’t here?’
‘I’m to help any officer who needs a typist. I’ll miss him; he was lovely to work for. Are you going to visit David’s family soon? I expect they’re feeling anxious, like everyone else.’
‘I’ll go as soon as I can. I saw Will today, by the way.’
‘Oh, I do hope he isn’t sailing with the invasion fleet.’
‘He told me he’s going with the second wave. Jim’s being dropped in, but Will didn’t know any more than that, and Bob is with the navy ships.’ Becky ran a hand through her hair in agitation. ‘We knew this was coming, but I don’t think I fully appreciated the enormous undertaking it would be.’
After a short delay the weather cleared enough, and on 6th June the huge armada sailed for France. Becky had not yet been able to see the Hammonds as no one was allowed to leave the camp.
‘I don’t like the look of that.’ Alice frowned when she saw the lines of ambulances waiting to be called upon. ‘Will you be driving one?’
‘I’ve been asked to stand by. With most of the men gone drivers are in short supply. The hospital is on full alert to receive casualties.’ Becky was worried sick. ‘I don’t think I’m going to get much sleep tonight.’
‘Nor me. Has Will told you he’s asked me to marry him?’
‘No, but I guessed he’s in love with you. What did you say?’
Alice sighed. ‘I couldn’t commit myself. I already wear one ring around my neck, and I didn’t want to make it two. Think me foolish, Becky, but I felt it would be bad luck to think of the future, and by doing so I would be putting Will into danger.’
‘I don’t think you’re foolish at all,’ Becky said gently. ‘I understand, and so would my brother.’
‘He did, and I do hope the war is over soon so we can all get back to a normal life. Have you decided what you’re going to do when it’s finally over?’
Becky shook her head. ‘Like you I can’t make a decision at the moment. All we can do is wait and pray that all those we love come through this. Then perhaps we’ll be able to sort ourselves out.’
‘You’re right. Fancy a drink?’
‘No thanks, Alice. If you don’t mind I think I’ll try and get some rest.’
‘Good idea. See you tomorrow.’
Sleep was elusive, but Becky did manage to doze fitfully on and off, until they were roused at four o’clock in the morning. She tumbled out of bed as the sergeant yelled, ‘All drivers assemble at once!’
They soon found out that the waiting ambulances were about to be put into use, and every available driver was needed. Nurses and doctors were streaming on to the camp from the nearby military hospital. The vehicles were manned in grim silence. Becky followed the ambulance in front of her as they made their way to the ships bringing in the wounded.
Over the next three days she made many journeys, struggling all the time to remain detached from the suffering so she could do her job. It was the hardest thing she had ever had to do in her life, and she thought she was managing quite well until the end of another gruelling day. She had returned to the camp to get the ambulance filled with petrol for another trip, and was fumbling with the cap when the sergeant stopped her.
‘Get something to eat, and rest,’ he told her.
‘I’m not hungry, and I’m not tired. I can do another trip.’
‘Look at your hands, Corporal Adams.’
Glancing down she saw that her hand was shaking badly, and fought to control the tremors, but without success.
‘Get some rest, and that’s an order. Someone else can take over for you.’
‘I’m sorry, Sergeant.’ She felt ashamed.
‘Don’t be,’ he said kindly. ‘Report back in twenty-four hours.’
‘Yes, Sergeant.’ She turned away, not sure what to do or where to go.
‘You’re not the only one to be feeling the strain,’ he told her. ‘I’m standing you all down in shifts so you can rest, but I need you back here at the same time tomorrow, fit enough to drive.’
‘You can count on me.’ Her mouth set in a determined line as she spoke, determined not to let her exhaustion show too much.
It was late afternoon and still light, but Becky wandered aimlessly. Eating was out of the question, and sleep would be impossible. It was as if every nerve in her body was jangling. She just wanted to be alone; not even Alice’s company would help after what she had seen, so she walked until she found a deserted area right on the edge of the camp.
The sun was shining as she sat under a large tree. Giving a shuddering sigh she closed her eyes, then doubled over to rest her head on her knees. The emotions she had struggled to keep under control would no longer be denied, and her slender body now shook with wracking sobs.
So much suffering. Young men injured, dying. It was terrible. The cruelty of war, and the heroism shown by those involved, was enough to make anyone cry. And all those she loved were out there amongst the carnage. Had she transported some of the Canadians they’d danced and laughed with? And what about the Americans her family
had befriended? Would they ever see them again? Would Pete’s children lose their father? Will, Bob, Jim, David …
She gripped her knees, ashamed of the breakdown she could not control. It was clear now that her stupid worries about her relationship with David were of no importance. In the light of what was happening it didn’t matter. He was an officer – so what? She loved him, and deeply regretted not being able to put his mind at rest about his daughter before the invasion began.
Time lost meaning, and all her silly little worries faded into insignificance as she sat there, allowing the tears to flow. It was dusk when she finally lifted her head, dry-eyed, calmer, but utterly drained.
Dragging herself to her feet she went back to her quarters to wash and put on clean clothes. That made her feel better, and she wished the awful memories could be washed away as easily, but she doubted if this experience would ever leave her.
People were coming and going at all hours so the mess was serving food whenever it was needed. Becky knew eating was the last thing she wanted to do, but it was vital she had something or she would make herself ill. She had to be fully fit for duty tomorrow.
There were a few of the other drivers already in the mess, and Becky joined them.
‘Hello, Becky,’ said one of the men, James, as he moved over to make room for her. ‘Have you been relieved of duty as well?’
She nodded and sat down, viewing her plate of sausages and mash with distaste. ‘Until tomorrow.’
‘Same as us.’
No one said anything as they concentrated on getting some food inside them, and she saw that not one of them had been left untouched by recent events.
Becky’s stomach was telling her not to attempt putting anything in it, but she chewed determinedly. It took quite a while to clear most of her plate, hoping it was going to stay down.
James put a mug of tea in front of her, and pulled a face. ‘Well, we’ve managed to eat, and now all we’ve got to do is get some sleep.’
‘Yes, that’s all.’ She gave a dry laugh, drained her mug and stood up. ‘See you tomorrow.’
It was only when she crawled into bed that she realised how mentally and physically exhausted she was.
Sleep
, she told herself,
because tomorrow it starts all over again
.