The Uncertain Years (9 page)

‘It’s good of you to come, Alice. After all, you didn’t know Jim’s parents, but I’m glad to have you along.’

Alice slipped her hand through her friend’s arm, well aware of the ordeal this was going to be. ‘I feel as if I do know them. I’ve seen photos and listened to you talking about them.’

Becky smiled sadly. ‘It’s awful, but we’re not the only ones dealing with tragedy. Just look at the place. I grew up here and I hardly recognise it. Mum said the church has lost most of its lovely stained-glass windows and part of the roof, but the Rector is carrying on as if nothing has happened.’

‘That’s all any of us can do, Becky.’

She nodded in agreement. It had been a difficult ten days, but at least her parents had found a house to rent in East Sheen, and were sharing it with Bob’s parents. She would have liked to see them move further away from
London, but her father insisted that he still needed to get to his work. The factory near the docks was still standing, by some miracle, and working day and night to turn out parts for the fighter planes. It wasn’t going to be an easy journey for him, but at least he would be coming out of the danger zone at the end of his shift, and she was grateful for that.

‘I hope the boys have been able to get home for the funeral.’

‘They’ll be here if they possibly can, Becky.’

She fought back the tears that were threatening to spill over. ‘At least we’re able to hold a proper funeral service for them. Not everyone is able to do that. Many just disappear …’

‘That must be dreadful.’ Alice took a deep breath, not mentioning David, as that would only upset her friend more. ‘Oh, look, there’s quite a crowd outside the church, and I can see army and navy uniforms.’

‘Thank God! All the boys are there.’ She glanced at Alice. ‘This isn’t how I wanted you to meet my family.’

‘Never mind. I’ll be pleased to meet them anyway.’

After quickly introducing her friend to her parents, Becky went straight to Jim. She had hardly recognised him. He was lean, tanned to a dark brown, and his expression showed anger simmering under the surface.

‘Jim, I’m so sorry …’ She reached out to him and was startled when he stepped back. Her hands dropped to her sides. They had always been such good friends, but now it seemed as if he didn’t want to know her. She realised it was his reaction to shock and grief, but it still hurt her.

‘This is Becky’s friend, Alice,’ her father told Jim, breaking an awkward silence.

Alice held out her hand until Jim had no choice but to shake hands with her. ‘I’m sorry this is such a bad homecoming for you.’

Something seemed to snap in Jim, and he said angrily, ‘Why don’t you all stop mouthing empty words of regret? You’ve got no idea how I feel!’

‘They’re not empty words,’ Bob told him. ‘We all share the grief.’

‘Like hell you do! You’ve got no idea.’

‘Hold it there!’ Alice stepped in front of Jim and had to tip up her head to look straight into his eyes. ‘How dare you turn on people who love you?’

‘And who the hell are you to tell me what to do?’

‘I’m doing it because everyone else here cares too much for you to upset you any more than you are. Because I’m a stranger, I can see you as a great brute of a man who’s hurting so much he’s lashing out at the very people he should be thanking for their love and support.’ She took a deep breath and didn’t move an inch away from the towering, furious man.

‘You don’t know what it’s like,’ he snarled, hands curled into tight fists as if he wanted to hit someone.

Becky and the others watched in amazement as the lovely, diminutive girl took on Jim without flinching.

‘Oh, I know exactly what it’s like.’ Alice pulled a fine gold chain from under her uniform and held it out for him to see. ‘That’s an engagement ring. I was supposed to be marrying a wonderful man, but he was
killed when his Spitfire was shot down three weeks ago. And Becky’s lost David. He disappeared at Dunkirk, and no one has seen him since. Don’t you dare accuse us of not knowing the turmoil and grief you’re going through. You’re angry – we’re all angry. You’re not the only one suffering a devastating loss, and you’d do well to remember that.’

‘Oh, Alice, you never said a word,’ Becky whispered, distressed for her friend.

Jim was staring at the girl in front of him – then he did a surprising thing. He gathered her into his arms and rocked her gently, tears streaming down his face. ‘Thank you, I needed someone to set me straight.’ He glanced up. ‘Forgive me. I’m so angry I lost my way.’

‘No need to apologise, son,’ Bill Adams told him. ‘Alice is right, we’re all bloody angry at this senseless loss of innocent lives.’

Becky’s mother reached up and kissed Jim on the cheek. ‘We love you like a son, and you’ll always have a home with us.’

‘Thank you.’

The hearse arrived then so there was no more time to talk. The streets had been cleared of rubble and the vehicle was able to get right up to the front of the church. Jim was still holding Alice’s hand tightly as they followed the two coffins into the church.

‘That’s a very courageous girl you have for a friend, Becky,’ Sally Walker murmured. ‘I don’t think I’d have had the nerve to face Jim down in the kind of mood he was in. She did just the right thing, though.’

Becky nodded, still stunned after hearing that Alice’s boyfriend had been killed.

Bob edged his way to her side. ‘Who’s this David? First I’ve heard of him.’

‘Someone who helped me when I joined up.’ She didn’t want to go into this now.

‘Oh, special, was he?’

‘Yes.’ She glared at Bob. ‘And don’t refer to him in the past tense. He could still be alive.’

‘Not after all this time.’

‘Shut up, Bob,’ she whispered, just loud enough for him to hear her above the sound of the organ.

He shrugged, placed her hand through his arm, holding her firmly at his side. ‘Sorry, you’re right.’

The church was quite full. It seemed as if all the neighbours from the street had come to say goodbye to Pat and Harry Prentiss. It was a sad occasion and Becky had to struggle to keep her composure. Her thoughts focused on Jim, knowing what an ordeal this was for him, and she was grateful Alice had come with her. She had her own grief to deal with, and although Jim had never met her before, they appeared to be giving each other comfort.

After the funeral they all went back to the rented house. It was the first time Becky had seen it.

‘My goodness!’ she exclaimed. ‘It’s huge.’

‘We’ll need the space,’ her mother explained. ‘We’re all going to be living together, and if the four of you manage to get home at the same time we’ll need every room in the house. And because we’re bombed out the owners are
letting us rent it at a reasonable price. Now, let’s have a nice cup of tea. Who’s staying the night?’

‘Sorry,’ Becky told her. ‘We’re due back at camp by six this evening.’

‘But you’ll never make it.’ Her mother glanced anxiously at the clock.

‘We’ve got someone picking us up, Mum. He should be here at any moment.’

‘Is that allowed?’ Will gave his sister an amused look.

‘There are some advantages to being in the transport division. Also Alice works for an officer and he needs her back on time. Pete’s got a London trip today and is collecting us on his way back.’

The words were hardly out of her mouth when the lorry rumbled to a stop outside the house.

After saying goodbye, they were just about to get in the truck when Bob pulled her aside. ‘I’m sorry your boyfriend’s missing. I didn’t mean to upset you at the church.’

She smiled sadly and squeezed his arm. ‘I’m sorry I snapped at you, and Colonel David Hammond isn’t my boyfriend. As I said, he has been kind to me and I’m very fond of him.’

‘Colonel?’

She nodded. ‘And I’m as worried about him as I would be for any of my friends.’

‘Ah.’

For some reason he looked relieved, and she studied him for a moment. ‘I’m all grown up now, Bob, and I am allowed to have men friends, surely?’

‘Of course you are.’ He gave a lopsided grin. ‘I keep
forgetting that. In my mind you’re still Will’s little sister, who we all need to keep an eye on in case she gets into trouble.’

‘I never get into trouble,’ she protested, with a laugh in her voice. ‘And I’m not so little any more.’

‘No, you’re not.’ He gave her a hug. ‘You take care now, and keep those letters coming.’

‘And you do the same.’ She turned and waved, then climbed in the lorry. ‘Thanks for coming, Pete. Let’s go.’

As they drove away, Alice nudged her. ‘That tall sailor friend of yours is jealous.’

‘Don’t be daft!’ Becky snorted. ‘He still thinks I’m a kid who needs looking after.’

‘And I think you’re blind.’

‘You’re imagining things.’ Becky changed the subject, too weary even to think about it. ‘Why didn’t you tell me about Anthony? You came to support me today; I could have done the same for you.’

‘It happened when I was on leave. Major Brent extended my leave so I could go to the funeral. It was all over by the time I came back. I kept quiet because I just couldn’t talk about it then.’ Alice gave a ragged sigh. ‘Jim’s anger made me realise that was exactly what I was feeling, and it wasn’t good to hold in all that grief. When he held me and shed tears, I did the same. It was what we both needed.’

Becky nodded, grateful Alice had been there and recognised Jim’s anger for what it was – grief held under control until he was ready to explode.

‘I like your family,’ Alice said. ‘And the boys are an interesting trio. Jim’s a strong man and not one to be trifled
with, but he has a gentle side to him as well. We can only hope this tragedy, and the army, doesn’t knock that out of him. Bob now, he’s harder to fathom. He keeps his feelings well hidden, but I get a feeling he’s the kind of man who cares about other people.’

‘Gosh, Alice!’ Becky exclaimed. ‘You’ve deduced that from one meeting? What about my brother?’

‘He’s the quietest of the three, but he’s the most determined, and nothing is going to stop him from making his mark in life. He’s going to do whatever he sets his mind to, and woe betide anyone who stands in his way.’

Becky turned and faced her friend, amazed by her evaluation of the boys. ‘Will’s always felt he had to prove himself capable of doing what everyone else does, but you’ve just described a very ambitious man.’

‘That’s what he is.’

‘Well I never!’ Becky sat back. ‘If you’re right then I really don’t know them as well as I thought I did. And I’d never have said my brother wanted to make a name for himself.’

‘Then you’ve underestimated him.’

‘Hmm, well, only time will tell if you’re right.’ She still wasn’t convinced. ‘Have you always had this talent for summing up people?’

‘I suppose so. Anticipating what people want is what makes me good at my job.’ Alice smiled with satisfaction. ‘I had you marked out as a good friend the moment I saw you.’

‘And is this ability going to help you work up to a general?’ Becky teased.

‘After everything that’s happened, that doesn’t seem important now, does it?’

‘No, it doesn’t.’

Both girls were serious now, and finished the rest of the journey chatting about nothing in particular with Pete.

This brutal conflict had certainly changed their perspective on life. None of them were going to come out of this the same people they had been at the beginning.

Everyone had gone to bed leaving the three boys downstairs to enjoy a quiet beer together.

‘I’m glad that’s over.’ Jim lit a cigarette and inhaled deeply, blowing the smoke out on a sigh. ‘I knew London was taking a bashing, but I never imagined my parents would be killed. It’s something you always think will happen to other people, but never you. I was so angry. They were good people and didn’t deserve an end like that.’

‘No, they didn’t.’ Will refilled the glasses. ‘This is turning out to be a very bloody war. The loss of innocent lives is appalling, and it’s only going to get worse.’

‘It certainly is.’ Bob downed his beer without stopping. ‘The convoys are suffering terrible losses, and it makes you feel sick when you hear another explosion. The first time it happened and I saw those poor sods in the sea it tore me apart. I’m learning to deal with it in a hurry,
because that’s the only way I’m going to keep my sanity.’

‘What have you been up to, Jim?’ Will handed him a sandwich his mother had made for them to have with their beer. ‘You didn’t get that brown in this country. And I thought you were in the paratroopers?’

‘I’m on temporary assignment to another regiment.’

‘And you’ve been in a hot climate?’ Bob probed, just as curious as Will.

‘Hmm,’ was all Jim said.

‘Come on, Jim, you can tell us,’ Bob urged.

‘I bet I can tell you what our friend’s up to, Bob. I’d say he’s in the desert working with a special unit causing havoc on the enemy whenever they can.’

‘Ah, that makes sense.’ Bob leant forward, his gaze fixed on Jim. ‘How close is he to the truth?’

‘You know I can’t talk about it. All I’m prepared to say is that Will is far too perceptive.’

‘Aha!’ Will looked smug. ‘That proves I’ve guessed correctly.’

‘You put that in one of your reports and you’ll be in real trouble.’

‘I’m not daft, Jim. My job is to report on aspects of the war that will inform, and hopefully lift the spirit sometimes, not give away secrets.’

‘That’s also something I’m curious about,’ Bob said. ‘Just exactly what are you doing, Will?’

Will was thoughtful for a while, and then his expression became animated. ‘You’ll all find out soon, but before I tell you I want your word you’ll keep this to yourselves until it’s over.’

‘Promise,’ Bob and Jim said together.

‘I’m going on a bombing raid over Germany. We’re going to make a newsreel to be shown in the cinemas.’

The boys glared at their friend in astonishment.

‘Are you crazy?’ Bob exploded. ‘That’s bloody dangerous.’

‘And what you two are doing isn’t dangerous?’

‘When are you going?’ Jim asked quietly.

‘In three days’ time – weather permitting, of course.’

‘Well, for heaven’s sake don’t tell your mum and dad. They’ll be sick with worry. Do you know how to use a parachute?’

‘I’ve been on a quick training course, Jim, and have made a couple of jumps out of a balloon.’

‘My God!’ Bob handed round cigarettes. ‘We turn our backs, Jim, and he’s up to all kinds of dangerous things. Not satisfied with risking his life in a small boat at Dunkirk, he’s now going to see what it’s like to drop bombs while being shot at. I’m beginning to wonder if any of us are going to survive this war. I’m on the sea being hunted by U-boats, Jim’s doing goodness knows what in the desert, and Will’s about to climb into a bomber. I think we’re all crazy!’

‘Haven’t we always been?’ Will actually grinned. ‘And we’re all going to come through this, and when it’s all over we’ll go on a pub crawl around London. The drinks will be on me.’

‘Now that’s something we’ll hold you to.’

The three boys sealed the promise by clinking their glasses together.

‘Anyway, we have no choice. We’ve all got to come through this or Becky will never forgive us,’ Bob said dryly. For the first time that day they all laughed.

‘Let me check your harness,’ Andy, the navigator of the plane said.

‘Thanks.’ Will had needed help with all the flying gear they’d insisted he had to wear for the sake of his safety. He had spent the last two days with the crew he was to fly with. They should have gone last night, but the operation had been cancelled because of the weather. It looked as if it was on tonight, however.

‘You’re fine.’ Andy patted him on the shoulder and smirked. ‘Are you going to make heroes of us all?’

‘You already are in my book.’ Will was a seething mass of nerves. He didn’t know how they did this night after night, and they were all so young. Their pilot was only twenty-one, and the rest of the crew around that age. It was incredible what this generation was doing.

‘Do you get nervous before a raid?’ he asked.

‘Nervous?’ Andy shook his head. ‘I would say frightened, or sick to the stomach would be more appropriate words.’

‘But not one of you shows it.’

‘No point, chum. We always tell ourselves we’ll be the ones to get back. Time to get on board. It’s a long trip, so have you got enough film for your camera?’

Will took a deep breath and nodded. ‘I’ve got more than enough.’

‘You know,’ Andy said, as they climbed in the lorry
taking them out to the plane. ‘You’ve got guts. You don’t have to do this.’

‘It’s my job. The forces wouldn’t take me, and I couldn’t sit on the sidelines, so I’m putting my reporting skills to good use.’

‘So you decided to become a war correspondent.’

‘That’s right.’ Will grinned in the fading light of evening. ‘And here I am.’

The film crew had followed them out to the row of Wellington bombers and captured the scene of men clambering in. Will stopped under a wing and faced the cameras to record his introduction, and then allowed himself to be helped into the plane. From here he was on his own.

Once the door was closed the engines roared into life, and as they gathered speed for take-off, Will wondered how something as big, and as loaded as this, could get off the ground.

But it did, and he saw how skilled the young pilots were. Once airborne all his nerves vanished, and he revelled in the sensation of flying. He settled down to enjoy the flight while he could, making notes and taking some pictures of the crew as they worked. The sight of the other planes was fascinating, and Will was determined to make this film report the best thing he’d ever done.

Their destination was Berlin, and that was why Will was on this raid. It was thought that the people at home would be heartened to see that Britain was striking back. He was so intent on capturing every detail that he quite forgot how long they had been in the air. He was jolted
back to awareness when all hell broke loose.

‘Five minutes to target,’ came a voice over the intercom, and it was the longest five minutes Will could ever remember.

Suddenly, a searchlight caught them in its glare and the pilot had to turn and weave until they were free of it. One plane slightly in front of them had flames coming from an engine, and another was leaving a trail of smoke in its wake. Flack was all around them, but scared as he was, Will held the camera steady.

‘Dear God!’ Will gasped when their plane shook and, looking out anxiously, saw a plane just in front of them going down.

‘Hold it … hold it …’ The bomb-aimer spoke clearly and calmly.

Will held his breath as he filmed the fires burning on the ground. ‘Bombs away!’

The plane banked and turned for home. As they straightened out there was an ominous crunching sound and the plane lurched.

Somebody swore, and a member of the crew – Will couldn’t see who it was – was scrambling down the plane to try and see if there was any serious damage. He kept quiet, knowing he mustn’t use the intercom when it might be needed urgently.

The crew member was soon back, and when he gave Will the thumbs-up, he saw that it was Andy.

‘We’ve taken a hit near the tail, Skipper. It doesn’t look too bad. How does she feel?’

‘All right, as long as the tail doesn’t fall off.’

The quiet laughter Will could hear over the intercom
brought a lump to his throat, and he knew this was something he would remember for the rest of his life.

‘You all right, Will?’ the skipper asked.

‘I’m fine, Skipper.’ He addressed him the same way as his crew. He was honoured to have shared this night with them, even if it had been a terrifying experience. Of course, they weren’t back yet, but they were away from the flack.

‘We’re a long way from home,’ the skipper continued, ‘so if the damage causes any trouble I want you to obey me without hesitation. If I order you to jump, you get out as quickly as you can. Is that clear?’

‘Yes, Skipper.’

‘Good.’

They made it back without mishap, and Will almost shouted for joy as they landed safely.

The first thing they did was to inspect the damage. There was a hole large enough to put your fist through, and several smaller dents covering quite a large area.

The skipper nodded. ‘Just shrapnel damage. They’ll soon be able to patch that up.’

Will used the last of his film on getting a good picture of the damage, then said, ‘I thought from the noise that we’d taken a direct hit.’

‘No, you would have been bailing out if we had.’ Andy slapped Will on the back. ‘Go and get some breakfast. We’ll join you as soon as we’ve reported in.’

Other crews began to wander in while Will waited, and he studied their faces. Some were talking, some were quiet, but when he looked closely he could see the signs
of exhaustion. It had been a long, dangerous mission, and these same crews were probably going to do the same thing all over again in a few hours.

When the crew he’d flown with finally joined him, he braced himself to ask the one question he needed to complete his report. With a notebook open in front of him, and pen poised, he said, ‘I saw one plane go down and another seemed to be in trouble. How many didn’t make it?’

It was the skipper who answered. ‘Two. One we know bought it over Berlin, but we’re not sure about the other one. They might have landed at another airfield, but that’s doubtful. We should have heard by now if they had.’

Will concentrated on writing all this down; relieved to know it wasn’t more, though goodness knows, that was bad enough! It was hard to believe any of them had survived. He also noted down his impression of what it was like to see the empty places at the tables already laid out for the incoming crews.

‘Have you got all the information you need?’ the skipper asked.

‘More than enough.’ Will stood up and shook hands with each of them in turn. ‘Thank you for putting up with me. It has been quite an experience.’

‘You’re welcome.’ Andy pumped his hand. ‘You let us know when the newsreel is being shown. We’ll all go to the pictures that day.’

‘I’ll see the base gets its own copy, so you can have a private showing.’

Will walked out to the car waiting to take him back to
London, and wondered if any of them would be alive to see themselves on film.

He really hoped and prayed they were.

As tired as he was there was a spring in his step. He’d been on a bombing raid over Germany. And he was still alive!