Read The Uncertain Years Online
Authors: Beryl Matthews
The battle in the air continued with increasing intensity. The pilots flew from dawn to dusk as the Luftwaffe attacked the airfields, and they were all aware of the importance of the fight. If Hitler could gain air superiority then he would invade. So much depended on these young men.
Becky knew Alice was worried because she saw it in her eyes in unguarded moments, but she never once spoke of her fears. All she had ever said was that they took each day as it came. They lived for each day, and in this perilous time that was all anyone could do. Wise words, but so hard to do when someone you loved was in danger every day, whether it was on land, sea or air.
August had arrived without any word that David was alive. Bob was at sea somewhere, and they had no idea where Jim was. The secrecy surrounding everyone’s movements was frustrating, but necessary. It didn’t help to
ease concerns about family and friends though. Thankfully, her brother was still around and busy reporting on the home front.
‘Hey! Anyone there?’ Alice waved a hand in front of Becky’s face. ‘You were miles away.’
‘Sorry.’ She looked up and smiled. Alice never looked gloomy. There was always a ready smile for everyone. ‘You going out tonight?’
‘Not until nine o’clock. I’ve managed to cadge a lift to Kenley, so I’ll wait in the pub there, but I’m not sure if Anthony will make it. The weather’s been good, and if he’s flown several sorties today, he might be too exhausted. I’ll give him to closing time and then come back to camp.’
‘Do you often have to wait and then come back without seeing him?’
‘Now and again.’
‘That must be worrying.’
‘The pub’s right by the airfield and news usually filters through if they’ve had a tough day. I wait just in case he can get away for an hour or so. I don’t mind.’
‘No, of course you don’t.’ Becky changed the subject. Her friend had said more than usual, and she didn’t want to upset her by asking too many questions. If Alice wanted to keep her feelings to herself, then Becky respected that. Everyone had their own way of coping. ‘Do you still want to come home with me if we can get leave at the same time?’
‘I’d love to, but it might be a while before any of us have leave.’
‘You’re right. We’ll keep it in mind.’
‘I’d enjoy meeting your brother and friends. They sound an interesting group. Wouldn’t it be lovely if we could all be on leave at the same time?’
‘Very, but most unlikely. Perhaps in your exalted position you could arrange it with the War Office,’ Becky teased.
‘I’ll see what I can do,’ Alice laughed, then became serious again. ‘Have you seen David’s parents lately?’
‘I went last weekend. Little Sara was pleased with the doll I gave her, but she’s fretting for her father. I was glad I didn’t go in uniform because I think that would have upset her even more.’
‘Poor little scrap.’ Alice sighed sadly. ‘She’s too young to understand.’
‘And not knowing what’s happened to him makes it even worse, and harder to explain to a child. It’s all very distressing.’
‘I know.’ Alice squeezed her hand. ‘But you mustn’t give up hope yet. He might have been taken prisoner.’
‘That’s what I keep telling myself, but it’s hard when I see his little daughter. It nearly breaks my heart. Thank goodness she has loving grandparents.’ Becky gazed at her friend with troubled eyes. ‘We’ve got to win this war, or else all this suffering is going to be for nothing.’
‘Losing is unthinkable, but it’s going to be a tough fight. I know we’ll win through in the end. We have to believe that!’
‘You’re absolutely right, as usual. How did you come to be so sensible?’
‘Just a gift I was born with.’ Alice patted her hair smugly, and then couldn’t keep a straight face. ‘It’s nice of you to notice.’
‘You’re incorrigible! My dad would love you. Anyway, back to the subject in hand. With Bob guarding the convoys, Jim with the paratroopers, my brother keeping the news flowing, and Anthony chasing the Luftwaffe away, there’s no way we can lose. My dad says our planes and pilots are better than the Germans.’
‘Of course they are.’ Alice stood up. ‘And talking of pilots, I hope there’s one waiting in the pub for me.’
She watched Alice hurry away. She was right. No matter how bad things became, they must never entertain thoughts of defeat.
‘Take cover!’ Jim fell flat on his face and waited until the bombs had finished screaming down. Then he stood up, brushing sand from his uniform. ‘What the hell are we doing in Alexandria?’
‘Someone’s perverse sense of humour.’ Stan spat out some grains of sand. ‘They issue us with Arctic gear and then send us to the desert so the Italians can drop bombs on us. I thought we were supposed to be fighting the Germans.’
‘Don’t worry. You’ll get your chance.’ The captain walked over to them. ‘They’re here as well.’
‘Ah, well, that’s all right then, sir.’ Stan grinned. ‘But I’d rather be tackling them in their own country. How long we gonna be here?’
‘Until we’ve pushed them out of North Africa.’
‘A couple of weeks then,’ Jim joked, making the men around them laugh. They numbered eight in all. After they’d managed to get out of Norway and returned home, their group had been singled out. This had been followed by a tough training session on explosives, and then being shipped out here.
‘What are we doing here, sir?’ Stan asked the question they all wanted answered.
‘Report to the officers’ quarters at fourteen hundred hours and you’ll be told your mission.’ He studied the group of tough-looking men. ‘You are all handpicked and are needed here. Now, get some lunch while it’s quiet.’
The uncertainty about this posting didn’t seem to curb Stan’s appetite, making Jim shake his head in amusement as his friend cleared his plate for the second time. ‘I don’t know where you put all that food,’ Jim told him, handing him a cigarette.
‘Got to keep up my strength.’ He drew deeply and blew the smoke towards the ceiling. ‘I have a feeling we’re in for a tough time, mate.’
‘Let’s go and find out, shall we?’ Jim stood up. The fact that they were going to the officers’ quarters and not the briefing room was unusual, and was making him highly suspicious about this whole business. They hadn’t been able to get a word out of anyone until now, and he couldn’t wait to hear what the hell was going on.
The house was large and on the outskirts of Alexandria. When their group of eight walked in they
were surprised to see at least a dozen men already there. Jim studied them, wondering who they were, but their desert gear was lacking much in the way of identification. Excitement ran through him. What had they got themselves into?
‘Oh, oh,’ one of their group muttered. ‘They look like a bunch of assassins.’
‘Bet they’re Special Forces.’ Stan pursed his lips as he glanced at Jim. ‘I wouldn’t like to get on the wrong side of them!’
‘You could be right.’ Jim nudged his friend into a seat. ‘This could be fun.’
There was no more time for speculation as the door opened and two officers marched in. Everyone jumped to attention. ‘Good afternoon, gentlemen.’
Jim nudged Stan at that greeting. ‘Never been called a gentleman before,’ he muttered out of the side of his mouth.
The more senior officer gazed at them all in turn, his piercing look lingering now and again. ‘Please be seated.’
When they were settled the other officer stepped forward. ‘I’m Captain Allingham. Those of you who have just joined us must be wondering what you’re doing here.’
‘Too bloody right!’ someone sitting behind Jim muttered.
‘Well, you’ve all volunteered to join our little group.’
A mutter ran through the eight paratroopers.
‘We don’t remember doing that, sir,’ Stan said, causing a ripple of laughter around the room. ‘Unless we were drunk, of course.’
The captain’s mouth twitched at the corners as he studied a piece of paper he’d picked up from the desk. When he looked up his expression was under control. ‘It says here that you all volunteered to join this special unit.’
Jim chuckled. ‘Then it must have been a hell of a party we had, sir.’
The regular members of the team were now enjoying the banter, and one of them turned round to face Jim. ‘You enjoy a good party, do you?’
‘As long as it’s exciting.’
He winked at Jim and Stan. ‘We can guarantee you an exciting time.’
They were then told about the covert work they were engaged in, and how vital it was. Jim and Stan listened intently, leaning forward, eager to hear every word.
‘Any questions?’ the officer asked when he’d finished speaking.
This was greeted with silence. It was quite clear what was going to be required of them, and it sounded highly dangerous.
Captain Allingham waited a few moments, and then gave a slight nod of his head. ‘I bet you’re all pleased you volunteered now, aren’t you?’
‘Delighted, sir,’ someone quipped from the back of the room.
The officer smiled then. ‘You will be split into four groups. The new members will be teamed with the experienced men. The list is on the board, so I want you to spend the rest of the day getting to know each other.
Listen and learn from those who know what they are doing. And I want you all assembled here tomorrow at six hundred hours.’ He glanced around the room. ‘Sober!’
‘Yes, sir.’ They all stood to attention as the officers left the room.
‘Do you think they’d tell us what happened to the men we’re replacing?’ Jim asked his friend dryly.
‘Not a chance, mate. Let’s see who we’re teamed with.’ Stan dragged Jim over to the board and scanned the names. ‘Ah good, we’re together.’
‘You’re on my team,’ someone said from behind them.
They spun round to face the man who had been sitting in front of them.
He held up his hand when they started to introduce themselves. ‘I know who you are. I’ve been watching you from the moment you arrived, and I asked for you to be assigned to my team. My name is Alan. We’re quite informal here.’
‘Right.’ Jim could hardly contain his excitement. This was going to be very different from the paratroopers.
Alan beckoned to three more men. ‘Meet Ted, Jack and Pete.’
They all shook hands, and Alan said, ‘Now, let’s get started. How are you at handling explosives?’
‘We had a couple of weeks’ special training before we came here,’ Stan told him.
‘What about unarmed combat?’
‘That’s a necessary skill if you’re jumping out of a plane into enemy territory.’
Giving a wicked grin to his men, Alan said, ‘Let’s see just how good these two are, shall we?’
It didn’t take long to find out that they needed to be very good indeed.
Over the next three months, Becky saw very little of Alice, whose every spare moment was spent with Anthony. During September there had been a sudden change of tactics as the Luftwaffe turned their attack to the civilian population. Bombs were now raining down on London. Night after night the drone of aircraft was heard, and the glow in the sky showed how the city was burning.
‘Bad tonight.’ Alice joined Becky and others as they watched the searchlights sweeping the sky. ‘I’m glad my family have moved to Cornwall. And although it means I can’t see them too often, at least I know they’re out of this lot.’
Becky nodded. ‘Mine have taken to sleeping in the Underground. Wish I could be with them.’
‘I expect you do, but they will be relieved to know you’re based outside London.’
‘They’ve already told me that, but it doesn’t stop me
worrying about them.’ Becky sighed. ‘This change in tactic is giving our pilots a breathing space, and I expect you’re pleased about that.’
‘I am,’ Alice replied. ‘The boys said the fifteenth of September was the hardest day, but it was the day the tide turned. The Luftwaffe must have known they had failed, so now they are bombing our cities in the hope that it will make us crumble.’
‘All they’re doing is making us bloody mad,’ one of the men said. ‘And it’s no good standing here worrying. Come on, girls, we’ll buy you a drink.’
Later that night, Becky stared into the darkness, unable to sleep. After so many months, hope that David was still alive was fading. Some names were now known of those who had been taken prisoner, but David’s wasn’t among them. She had no idea where the boys were, and her parents were in constant danger from the bombing. At the beginning of the war many had predicted that it wouldn’t last long, but they were under no illusions now. This was going to be a long conflict, with many dangers and heartaches to face. And yet people were still laughing, joking, going to dances and the cinema. She was impressed by the resilience and courage of the armed forces and the ordinary man in the street. Hitler had made a serious misjudgement. He was not going to be able to crash his way into this country as he had with others. The Channel was a serious obstacle to overcome without air supremacy. And that he didn’t have.
She drifted off to sleep, comforted by these thoughts.
The next evening the planes came again.
‘You can almost set your clocks by the buggers,’ Pete muttered. ‘You got family in London?’ he asked Becky.
She nodded. ‘They’ve been taking shelter in the Underground. I hope they’re there tonight.’
‘They’ll be all right there. Want a drink?’
‘Thanks.’ Becky walked towards the mess with Corporal Pete Markham. He had been at Dunkirk and she’d become quite friendly with him. It was a comfortable friendship. He was happily married with a young son and another on the way. He treated Becky like one of the boys, and that suited her nicely.
‘Any news of your colonel?’ he asked, knowing she had been making enquiries about him.
‘I’m afraid not.’
‘Ah, sorry to hear that.’
‘Me too.’ She sighed. ‘He’s got the sweetest little girl, and I fear she’s never going to see her daddy again. Her mother died soon after she was born.’
‘Oh, that’s sad.’
When they reached the bar, Becky insisted on buying the drinks. ‘What you going to have?’
‘Pint of bitter, please. I’ll get the next round then.’
But they didn’t even have a chance to finish the first drink. The door swung open as they were taking their first mouthful, and the sergeant marched in. His voice cut through the chatter like a knife. ‘Medics, fire fighters and all transport personnel fall in at once!’
‘What’s up, Sergeant?’ Pete asked as they lined up outside.
‘London’s on fire from a massive incendiary attack. They need ambulances and fire engines. Doctors and nurses are already here from the military hospital, so ambulance drivers get going! The same for all fire fighters – move! We’ve also got men lined up and waiting for transport to aid in the rescue, and I want the lorries loaded and out of here in ten minutes.’
Men were running in all directions, and with them were about five women. Becky wondered if they would be ordered to stay behind, but that didn’t happen, much to her relief.
‘Come on.’ Pete grabbed her arm. ‘You know London and I’m going to need you.’
The lorries were already full of soldiers, and Pete jumped in the first one he saw. Becky scrambled in beside him.
‘Keep together!’ the sergeant bellowed above the roar of engines. ‘The ARP will direct you to where you’re needed.’
The door next to Becky opened and the sergeant jumped in, pushing her over to make enough room for himself. He glanced at her briefly, and then turned his attention to Pete. ‘Put your foot down.’
‘I’m going to.’
The scene was one of organised chaos. Trucks and lorries were coming from all directions and heading for the gates. Men could be seen running to scramble on to the moving vehicles, and the blackout had been forgotten.
‘Hope they have the sense to douse those lights once we’re out of here.’ The sergeant settled back, moving Becky
over more so he could get comfortable. ‘This could be nasty,’ he told her.
‘I know. My family are there.’
‘Where you from?’
‘Stepney.’
‘Me too.’ He closed his eyes. ‘It’s going to be a long night.’
No more was said until they were on the outskirts of London, where the smell of burning and the glow in the sky held them mesmerised. By the time they reached Hammersmith, Becky’s insides were churning.
Please be underground
, she silently pleaded. It was about the only place her family would be safe in this mayhem.
They were waved on until they reached Wandsworth, where the police stopped them. The sergeant jumped out, ordering them to stay in the lorry. ‘I’ll see where we’re needed.’
‘Everywhere, by the look of it.’ Pete peered through the windscreen trying to see just what was going on.
The ambulances and fire engines were soon on their way, heading towards the raging fires. Orders by other officers had the men jumping out of their lorry and piling into another one.
‘Right.’ The sergeant climbed back in the cab. ‘We’re heading for the docks. The all clear has gone and people are going to need all the help we can give them. Temporary centres are being set up in schools and church halls for the homeless, and our job will be to pick them up and take them there.’
‘What are the troops going to do?’ Pete asked, as he set the lorry in motion.
‘They’re going to be looking for any trapped in the rubble. It won’t be easy getting to where we’re needed. Roads are blocked by fallen rubble, and in places the fires are so fierce it will be impossible to get near them.’
Without saying a word, Pete backed and turned as he tried to find a way through, and Becky was relieved she wasn’t driving in such terrible conditions.
The next few hours were a nightmare. Becky spent her time ushering people into the lorry, talking calmly to shocked families, and comforting frightened and bewildered children. Many were coming out of the Underground stations to find that their homes were no longer there.
Dawn arrived, and although Becky appeared outwardly calm, inside she was sick with worry. The three of them were tired and filthy as they accepted a cup of hot tea from a WVS van. The Women’s Voluntary Service was out in force, offering refreshments to the exhausted rescue services.
The sergeant downed his tea in a couple of gulps, then said, ‘Right, we’ve done all we can here. Let’s see if we can get to Stepney. I’d like to see if my house is still standing. I expect you’re anxious as well.’
Becky nodded. ‘Thank you, Sergeant.’
After much turning, backing up and directions from Becky, they managed to reach the sergeant’s street. ‘Well, it’s still here,’ he said. ‘Not a window left, by the look of it. Thank heavens my wife and kids are in the country.’
Pete then drove them to where Becky lived. It wasn’t possible to get all the way, and she was soon out of the lorry, running as fast as she could, jumping and scrambling over rubble. It looked bad, and her heart was thumping.
When she turned the corner, she stood there clutching her sides in horror. There was a great hole where their three houses had been. She recognised bits of furniture scattered around, and even a fragment of her bedroom curtains. But it was the mangled pieces of motorbike that brought bitter tears to her eyes. What fun they’d had with that old bike. Her breath was ragged, unable to believe the scene in front of her. The destruction was so complete. Everything she had known all her life was gone.
Pete placed a hand around her shoulders. ‘This your place?’
She nodded, still unable to grasp that their home was no longer there. But as devastating as that was, the fact that the bricks and mortar were no longer there meant little to her. Her thoughts were only for her family and friends who had lived there.
Through the mist of shock she heard the sergeant shout, ‘Do you know if anyone was in these houses?’
A policeman came over to them. ‘We’ve found two bodies at the moment, mate.’
Becky snapped back to awareness with a crash. ‘What were their names?’
‘Don’t know.’ The man gave her a sympathetic glance. ‘You’ll need to go to the church hall in the next street. They might be able to help you.’
As she spun round, intent on going to the hall, she saw four people in front of her. For a moment her mind didn’t register who they were. Her eyes were full of moisture and she was so frightened it was hard to think straight. After wiping a hand across her eyes, she stared again. It was Bob’s parents … and her own.
‘Pat and Harry have been killed, sweetheart,’ her father said as he hugged her. ‘We’ve just identified them.’
‘Jim’s parents.’ Becky almost doubled over in pain. ‘What were they doing in the house during such a terrible raid?’
Her mother then held her tightly, both of them shaking. ‘Pat wasn’t feeling well. She kept being sick and said she couldn’t possibly come to the shelters in that state. She said she was going to have a night in her own bed. Harry stayed with her, of course.’
‘Jim must be told.’
‘We’ve given the authorities all the necessary information, and they’ll get in touch with him,’ Sally, Bob’s mother, said, her voice shaking with grief, ‘We should be the ones to tell him – it would be kinder – but that’s impossible. We don’t even know if he’s in this country. We’ll go ahead and make the funeral arrangements, and hope the army can get Jim home in time.’
‘What are you doing here, Becky?’ her father wanted to know.
‘We’ve been working in London all night,’ the sergeant explained. ‘This is my home as well, so we came here as soon as we were free. I’m dreadfully sorry you’ve lost
your homes and friends. Is there anything we can do for you?’
‘You can take us to the nearest rest hall where we can get something to eat, and try to sort out what we’re going to do.’
‘There will be people on hand to help you with temporary housing, and any immediate needs you have,’ Pete told them.
Becky gazed at the place where their homes had once stood. The devastation was total. ‘It’s hard to believe everything’s gone.’
‘Things can be replaced, people can’t.’ Her father rubbed a hand over his face, looking exhausted.
‘Come on, folks,’ Pete urged. ‘The lorry is just around the corner.’
‘Move out of London,’ Becky urged as they made their way along the street.
‘We’ll probably have to,’ her mother told her. ‘I don’t suppose there’s much left around here to rent.’
‘I wish I could stay with you, but I’ve got to get back to camp.’ Becky helped them all into the lorry. She squeezed her mother’s hand. ‘You’ll let me know what you’re doing and when the funeral will be, won’t you?’
‘As soon as we know ourselves.’
The sergeant scribbled a number on a piece of paper. ‘You phone that number and we’ll see your daughter gets any messages you leave with us. It will be quicker than the post.’
‘Thank you, Sergeant, that’s very kind of you.’
The centre they took them to was crowded, but they
were given a warm welcome. Reluctantly, Becky had to leave them, but she knew they would help and support each other through this tragedy. They were lifelong friends, and it had always been the six of them.
Now there were only four.