This seemed to make Joey come up short. “So now you're blaming me for something you agreed to?”
“No. I'm not blaming you. This is
my
fault. I should have never offered to get you out of your mess without knowing everything beforehand. Now an innocent baby is going to have to suffer because you couldn't keep your pants up.”
Joey stooped nose to nose with her. “You're not being fair, and you know it.”
Stacey closed her eyes and took a deep, cleansing breath. She wouldn't back down from him. Not now. “Isn't it the truth?”
“I loved her, Stacey. I still love her.”
“I know you do. And I don't fault you for that. We can't help who we love sometimes. If I could, I wouldn't be here right now.”
The truth of his statement weighed heavily on her as she turned to leave. She had agreed to do this because she loved Joey. It wasn't much of a surprise, but the reality of it saddened her. It was what her marriage was reduced to: loving someone who would never love her back. In some regards, she was okay with that, mainly because she didn't have to worry about herself as much. But then again, they had only been married for four days.
But it still left one major problem. The baby. If she was going to be a mother to her, she'd eventually have to buck up and at least hold her. Allow herself to feel.
However, Stacey had a job to do, and that was make sure her husband and his baby had somewhere to call home.
****
Joey was in way over his head. His life was spiraling out of control. First, he'd gotten himself into a mess with Cameron, Stacey'd bailed him out of his mess, and now he was accountable to her. When he was more rational, he knew he owed her a lot more than he'd given her thus far. A few nights in bed with his wife, amazing as they were, didn't make everything okay.
He thought back about the delivery and how he'd stayed with Cameron. It wasn't something he'd first envisioned doing, or even knew if he'd be allowed to, but he was grateful for those few moments with Cameron again. A sober Cameron.
Even as he'd enjoyed his last few moments with her and watching their daughter being born, he'd wanted to share the moment with Stacey. The first minutes of Rachel's life had been a whirlwind, but once he'd turned, he'd wanted to spend those next minutes with Stacey. What did that tell him?
The same thing he'd always known: she was his friend. Maybe even his best friend. What other kind of person would do what she'd done for him if she wasn't a friend?
That night he decided to go home after all, and after saying his goodbyes to Rachel, he drove straight to the store and picked up some flowers for Stacey. It wasn't much, but it was a start.
As he walked through the door, he noticed a strong smell permeating the air. He followed his nose and found Stacey in short shorts. Her blonde, curly hair was pulled into a messy bun, and pink paint was smeared on her legs and cheek. She stood back, examining her handiwork. She was unbelievably adorable.
“Hey,” he said quietly, holding out the daisies. Wielding a paintbrush, she spun around and smeared a little more paint across her cheek. He could tell she'd been crying.
“Hey,” she greeted a little nasally. “You didn't have to do that.” She nodded to the flowers.
“I know I didn't have to, but I wanted to. Can you take a break for a minute so we can talk?”
She examined the paint in her bucket and finally nodded. Walking past him, she headed to the kitchen without a word. As she washed her hands, he wasn't sure what to do or say so he stood there, still holding the flowers awkwardly.
“The color looks great. But are you sure you want her to use your grandfather's room?”
“It's the only room that makes sense. I just wish he was here to meet her.” Turning, she leaned against the counter and dried her hands,
the
pure picture of domesticity.
“Me too. Listen, Stace, I owe you an apology. I was unfair today at the hospital. I think this whole situation has me a little emotional, too. I'm sorry for the things I said to you today.”
Stacey's eyes fell downward, something he hated to see. He wanted her to look at him and fight, give him what he deserved. “You didn't say anything that wasn't the truth. And like you said, we were wide awake when we said our I do's.”
He shuffled his feet. “But Stacey, I meant my vows. I meant in sickness and in health and good times and bad. I didn't vow it wouldn't be hard. Or we'd love each other immediately or even eventually. You told me you loved me today at the hospital, but you don't know me. It's like you said, you love the idea of me and what you've never had. I did things in college I'm not proud of. I hate no one has ever appreciated you the way you deserve, and if I was standing on the outside looking in, I'd punch myself in the face.”
This brought a smile to her lips.
“I want to love you the way you deserve. Maybe I don't feel what you feel right now, but I will respect you. You've made a lot of sacrifices for me, and I appreciate it. And I love you as my best friend
,
and I always will.”
“I don't think that'll be enough, Joey. I'm just trying to be honest here. I got into this thinking I could stay unemotional, but the second we had sex on our honeymoon, my emotions kicked into overdrive. It's not fair for you to be saddled with me when I clearly can't control my feelings.”
“I'm not saddled with you. I don't want you to ever feel that way.” He placed the flowers on the kitchen table and took her in his arms. “You're proving to be the kind of wife I've always dreamed of having. Someone who puts the kids and me first, someone who does all they can to make sure we have a home. Now that Rachel's coming home in the morning, it's time for me to put you first. I know Rachel will need me, but when it comes to emotional support, you're gonna be sick of me.”
Stacey smiled. “I think we've established I'm a pretty big sucker when it comes to you, Joey.”
“Sucker enough to kiss me?”
Stacey grinned and pecked him on the cheek.
“That's all you've got for me? I've been starving for you, honey.”
As his lips descended, Stacey turned her head. “Joey, I'm not going to say this isn't difficult. Seeing you with Cameron was a hard pill to swallow.”
His grip relaxed on her and he pressed his forehead to hers. “I've been thinking about things, and I was wrong.”
“You don't have to explain anything to me. I just want you to look me in the eye and tell me it's not her you're thinking about when you're kissing me.”
Joey felt like he could cry. Had he made her feel that way? He was such a failure at being a husband not even four days into it. The good news was he was going to change things. Starting now.
Stacey was an amazing, selfless woman whom he loved dearly. Carefully, he touched her collarbone and traced the delicate curves there. “Stacey,” he whispered. “If there's one thing I'm sure about, it's the fact it's all you I'm touching. No one else feels as good as you do.” He surprised himself by realizing he spoke the truth. To demonstrate his words, he slipped his hands under the hem of her shirt and touched her belly. The subtle intake of breath told him she was well aware of his intentions.
“And there's no one else I want to kiss other than you, Stacey.” His lips found her jaw and he trailed his mouth along her skin. “And the best part?”
“Mmm?” she rasped.
“There's no one else I want touching me.” He guided her hands to his chest and watched her fingers flex over him. But apparently it wasn't enough. She tugged at his shirt, and he granted her request by pulling his shirt over his head. “Are you okay with this? Doing this here?”
Stacey pulled back and gave him a staggering smile that left him reeling at the sweetness. “The idea has grown on me today. What kind of wife would I be if I denied you the one thing we have in common?”
“What's that?” He watched her fiddle with his pants button, her shyness more of a turn-on than
the thought of seeing
her in leather holding a whip.
“We love having sex.”
Joey took the opportunity to press against her. “This isn't just sex, Stacey. I don't have sex with my wife, I make love to her.”
Pink flushed her cheeks as she looked away.
“What, you don't believe me?”
“I never said that. It's just that you
don't
love me.”
“I love you in all the ways that matter.” Stacey would need to get over this low self-esteem and quick. He knew her background and knew she was inexperienced, but there really wasn't any need to be. Her blonde curly hair alone was enough to drive him mad, but coupled with her green eyes and her slender frame, he was amazed he was able to function. And getting to know her slowly, seeing her routines and her kind soul made her even more attractive.
“Come with me,” he whispered, determined to prove to her what he saw.
Together they walked down the hallway. After pulling Stacey into their bedroom, he yanked her to him and pressed his mouth to hers. A small whimper and her hands clutching at his pants again drove him mad. But before he took his wife, she would see what he saw.
Joey worked what Cameron had once called “magic” and made sure she was ready for him. He slowly peeled the clothes away from her body, and when she was naked, he moved Stacey across the room where the floor length mirror on the back of the door was mounted. He closed the door and spun around to look into the mirror.
“Look at yourself, Stacey.”
Immediately, she cringed and tried to turn, but he held her steady.
“Look at yourself. Look at what I see.” Dipping his head, he nibbled on her throat until she squirmed again. “Look at yourself,” he urged. “Open your eyes.”
When she did what he asked, he slipped his hand around to her stomach, touching her slowly. “Your skin is so soft,” he whispered. “I could touch you all day.”
“Joey⦔
“Look at your skin, Stacey. Look how porcelain it is, like a china doll. Do you know how rare that is? It's like you're untouched and pure.”
“I was before I married you. You went and ruined me on our wedding night.”
He grinned. “Once we're done here, I'm going to taint you again⦠and again⦠and again.”
“Why don't we just skip to the good part?” She squirmed against him. He couldn't lose his resolve now.
“But your skin isn't all I love.”
She sighed.
“Hear me out.” He ran his hands up and down her side, feeling her curves and the thin layer of perspiration. He loved knowing she was hot for him.
“Joey, this isn't necessary.”
“Oh, but it is. And I'm going to point out something I love about you every single time I catch you being embarrassed about praise someone gives you.” Repositioning himself, he reached up and pulled her hair loose out of the ponytail holder. It fell down in a spiraled heap, like tiny winding staircases. It wasn't the frizzy curly he'd seen on other girls but rather the type of curls girls tried for on prom day or on their wedding.
“I love your hair.”
Stacey rolled her eyes.
“I
love
your hair,” he insisted and buried his nose in it. “It smells like grapes. It always has. I remember when we were kids, and you tried straightening it once. I was so mad. You're not my Stacey without curly hair.”
“It's a mess.”
“It's beautiful, Stace. It's like honey. When you wear it up, it reminds me of a halo.”
Stacey snorted. “Got you fooled, huh?”
“Not at all. I know underneath your halo is a set of horns that comes out when we're naked.”
A giggle erupted from her chest. Her smile was his trophy.
“And your smile? Wow, Stacey. It was the first thing I noticed when you were playing with your friend across the street. You girls were playing together and whispering. Then you threw your head back and laughed, and I was lost. I stood there like a dope waiting for you to do it again.” His hands slid up her back and massaged.
“Then we moved out back because some creeper was staring at us across the street?”
“Pretty much.” He grinned at her reflection in the mirror. “And those green eyes? Enough to melt me, and I do every time you look at me. When you get all aroused, did you know your pupils dilate? Your lids close a little, and while I know you're with me, it's like you're somewhere deep inside your mind, taking all the pleasure I can give you.”
“Great. So I look drunk?”
“Oh yeah, and that's not a bad thing. Cause I know I made you that way without a drop of alcohol.” Unable to take it anymore, he kissed her on her shoulder, nipping it before moving his hands up to touch her breasts.
“And these. The Bible even speaks of how these will bring me pleasure.”
“My body is yours, Joey.”
“They're perfect. Just right.”
“Anything more than a handful is a waste anyway, right?”
It was hard to keep a straight face, but he somehow managed. “Nothing about you is a waste.”
“Make love to me, Joey,” she pleaded, her voice raspy and soft.
“Oh, I will. When I'm done.”
Their eyes locked in the mirror, and his hands slid down, back to her hips. “Did you know hips are the sexiest part of
a woman's
body to me?”
“Awesome. I don't have any.”
“
Au contraire
, my lady, what is this?” He
knelt
down and kissed the curve of her hip, slightly less defined than the rest of her, but certainly no less sexy. She was what some might call lanky as she was tall and slender, but seeing her without clothes on was a whole new treat for him.
“And this?” He moved to the other side and placed a tender kiss there. Her skin scorched his lips. “These legs, Stacey. These legs are enough to make me want to lock you away for no one else to see.”
“I do have great legs, don't I?” She grinned.
He looked up at her and wiggled his eyebrows appreciatively as his hands roamed her legs.
“Too bad they end with ski feet.”
“Ski feet?”
She stuck a foot out and wi
ggled her toes. “Boat feet, ski feet, clod hoppers, Sasquatch. The list goes on.”