The Unexpected Choice (9 page)

 

 

Joey played the doting father quite well, because when he looked at Rachel, a perfect mix of him and Cameron, he could see only love. She weighed in at a perfect 8 pounds and 7 ounces, was 21 inches long and had baby blues and blonde hair just like her mother. Joey cried tears of joy she was here safely and Cameron was okay.

After she was checked out and found to be healthy, the nurses swaddled her small body and handed her over. The moment she was placed in his arms, his heart did funny things. He was so madly in love with one tiny, eight-pound baby, he knew he'd never be the same again.

One person's face came to mind when he turned. He had to share this moment with Stacey. There was no one who could understand him the way Stacey did, and no one else could understand the impact this moment had had on their lives.

“Stacey, come look at her, she's so beautiful!” He looked up but Stacey wasn't where she'd been when Cameron was about to deliver. She was nowhere to be seen. “Stacey?”

“Are you talking about the blonde in the corner?” the doctor asked.

“Yeah.”

“She left about five minutes ago, right after the baby was born. Looked like she was in a hurry.”

Odd. He thought she'd want to be here to hold Rachel and get to know her. If the moment hadn't been so amazing, he might have been a little miffed she deserted him, but he tried not to dwell on it. Instead, he looked down at his daughter and put his finger in her tiny palm. She immediately grabbed it and smacked her mouth, turning her head to the side. He'd deal with his wife later. Right now, all that mattered was Rachel.

“What does this mean?” he asked the nurse standing nearby.

“She's rooting. She's hungry. Would you like to feed her, Mama?”

He looked up to Cameron's surprised face. He wasn't sure it was a good idea for her to get too attached. But then again, what better way to encourage her to be a better person than to see the life depending on her?

In the end, he couldn't deny her. It was her baby, too. Just because she signed legal rights away until she got out of prison didn't mean she didn't deserve to have some good memories. And if she proved she could stay clean, Joey couldn't keep her from being a part of Rachel's life later on. Rachel would need to know her mother hadn't abandoned her.

Cameron sat up as best she could now that she was stitched and the epidural was wearing off. She tugged at one shoulder of her gown, pulling it down and exposing her breast. Joey placed Rachel in her arms and let her work her motherly magic. Before long, Rachel latched on and sucked like a champ.

With tear-filled eyes, Cameron looked up at him. “I wish I hadn't made so many stupid
mistakes
,” she said. “This could be a normal us, and that could be the ring I put on your finger.”

Joey swallowed thickly. He had once dreamed of her saying those words, but now a different reality belonged to him. “You didn't want to get married, remember?”

“I did, Joe. I just didn't know how to tell you all my secrets.”

“So you got arrested so I'd find out the hard way?”

“No. Like I said. A lot of stupid choices. I'd give anything to be the kind of mother Rachel deserves.”

“Me, too.” Joey looked away and paced a little before turning back to her. “Stacey's a good woman. I've known her since we were kids. She'll treat Rachel like she was her own.”

“Do you love her?” Cameron asked absently, stroking Rachel's cheek.

“I couldn't imagine my life without her. We've been best friends since we were kids.”

Cameron shook her head, and he was once again shocked by the changes in her appearance. Her shorn hair, small frame, even her teeth looked a little yellow.

“I still love you, Joe. I know it's not much coming from a
woman in handcuffs
, but I don't think I'll ever stop loving you. Just always know that, okay? I want you to be happy, no matter what.”

Joey shifted in his seat, suddenly uncomfortable with the turn in conversation. Instead, he focused on his daughter and pushed the conversation back to her. “Thank you for her. And for making the right decisions about her welfare. You know I'll love her and give her everything possible.”

“I do know. I didn't get to talk to Stacey, but she seems sweet. Just don't make her think she's living in my shadow. She's probably pretty unsure of herself right now and where she belongs in all this.”

Joey sighed. “Yeah. Confidence isn't her specialty.”

“It should be,” Cameron said softly. “She snagged the best guy in the world.”

With a chuckle, he shoved his hands in his pockets. “I better go find her and make sure she's okay.”

Cameron raised her shackled hand and gave him a wry grin. “Go on. I'm not going anywhere.”

He rolled his eyes playfully and walked out of the room. Just outside the door, Stacey was sitting against the wall, knees to her chest. It was clear she'd been crying. What a mess this all was.

“Your parents are in the waiting room. I think Cameron's are, too. I didn't feel like going out there explaining who I was to Cameron's family.”

Without a word, he sat down next to her with a grunt and took her hand in his. It shouldn't have surprised him, but she carefully extracted it only moments later. “Congratulations on
becoming
a father.”

“Thanks,” he mumbled, unsure of what to say next. After a moment, he finally asked the question burning in his mind. “Why did you leave?”

Stacey's eyes were closed, but she licked her lips. A telltale sign she was buying time before answering. “Let's just say it was all a bit emotional.”

“Are you okay?”

“I'm fine.” But the words were said too quickly and too chipper for him to really believe her.

“She's beautiful, isn't she?”

“She's going to be an amazing little girl,” Stacey said with conviction.

“Only because you're going to raise her. You're pretty amazing, too, Stace.”

Joey didn't have time to finish her name before she was standing. “I think I'll go get Cameron some flowers. Do you need anything?”

Confusion swept over him at her change in attitude, but he went along because he could only stand so much drama in one day. “I could use some water. Thanks, baby.”

He stood only to be nose-to-nose with an angry Stacey, her finger poking into his chest. “Don't ever call me your baby again.” Her eyes burned bright, and her mouth was drawn into a tight frown.

Holding out his hands, he frowned. “Okay. I'll try to remember.”

“Don't try. Remember.”

Rachel's cry distracted him enough not to respond as she turned and stalked away, but he filed it away in his mind to ask her about later.

****

A knock on the door the next morning had Stacey out of bed and alert before she even exited her bedroom. Was it Joey? He hadn't come home last night, and she assumed he'd stayed with Cameron at the hospital. No phone call, no text telling her not to wait up.

With a deep breath, Stacey opened the door and exhaled when she saw it was Joey's mom.

“Ms. McCrary! I thought you'd be at the hospital by now, seeing that beautiful new granddaughter of yours.”

“I'm headed there in a bit,” she said as she stepped in, uninvited. “We need to talk, honey.”

A deep sigh escaped as her heart began to pound. “What about?”

“You know what about. This whole situation is so convoluted, Stacey. I know you must be drowning.”

The understatement of the century. “I'm fine.”

“You're not fine. I saw you crying in the hallway yesterday. I know you've always loved him. He's hard not to love.”

Stacey bit her lip. “I do love him, but I keep praying it'll fade so it won't hurt so much.”

“Give him time. I think you guys are perfect for each other, but this marriage was awfully quick. You haven't even been married a week and now you're parents. It's a lot to take in.”

The lump in Stacey's throat kept her from saying anything.

“Is he good to you?” Ms. McCrary's hand settled on top of hers. Something her own mother might have done. What she wouldn't give to have her mom there for some good advice.

“He's wonderful. More than I could have ever asked for.”

“But…?”

Stacey smiled. “Nothing.”

“I've known you since you were born. I was a best friend to your mother until the day she died. I know when something's bothering you.”

Should she let it out? Could she? This was her husband's mother she was talking to. Even if she spoke her fears aloud, would they be safe with her? Regardless, Stacey needed someone to talk to. If it got back to Joey, it would be less she'd have to explain to him later.

“How do I compete with her? We never agreed this was love, and I'm happy to help him. I know what it's like not to have your parents together, and I'm so happy Joey wanted his little girl to have a mother and a father. But kids are smart. Rachel will pick up on the fact we don't have a real marriage. What then?”

“Honestly? I don't think you have anything to worry about.”

“What if she comes back and wants Rachel and Joey? After what I saw yesterday between them, I don't think I'd be wrong to say he'd choose her.”

“Things are still raw, Stace. He loved Cameron, but I think he grew to love the idea of her. She's beautiful, yes, but not many people can say they married their best friend. Love or not, you two know each other much better than he and Cameron did. She's a sweet girl, but I think until she gets her addiction under control and can support herself and a kid, the state would never grant her rights.”

Stacey sat in silence. She didn't know how to tell Ms. McCrary those things were the least of her concerns.

“But that's not what you're talking about, is it?”

“You're a mind reader.” Stacey grinned.

“He loves you, honey. Maybe not the way you want him to right now, but if you give him time, he'll see what's right in front of him.”

“It's been twenty years. If he doesn't see it by now, I don't think he will.”

“You never know what prayer can do. And the fact you came into this with no expectations is half the battle.”

“I just want to be beautiful for him.”

Ms. McCrary studied Stacey, her perfectly coifed hair and neatly pressed suit screamed beauty and maintenance. Even her toenails were free of chipped polish, unlike her own. “Until you're beautiful to yourself, you'll never be beautiful for him.”

It sounded like something her mother would have said. It was these rare moments that hit her like a lead weight falling from the heavens. Her mother might not be with her in the physical sense, but she was still helping her and guiding her from heaven. She had to be.

“Agreed.” Stacey gave her a smile and moved her hand away. “It's time I get ready to go to the hospital myself. I'm sure Joey would like a change of clothes and a toothbrush
after staying all night
.”

“He didn't come home?” Ms. McCrary's body language suddenly changed, and she sat up straighter.

“No. I figured he stayed at the hospital with Cameron.”

She sighed and shook her head, a frown marring her pretty features. “I guess we'll see. If you're right, I might just have to string him up by his toes.”

 

 

When Stacey entered the hospital, she wasn't sure what awaited her. For some reason, she envisioned Joey spooning Cameron in her hospital bed while Rachel slept soundly in her bassinet next to them.

Instead, Joey was outside the nursery taking pictures and smiling.

“I brought you a change of clothes,” Stacey said as she approached.

He eyed the bag and then her. A lopsided grin spread across his face. “You're the best. It was a rough night.”

“Is everything okay with Rachel?”

“Oh yes. She was just fussy last night. The nurses said she was probably getting used to the formula we're giving her.” He took the bag from her outstretched hand and ushered her back toward Cameron's room. Stacey put the brakes on. She didn't want to go in there any more than she wanted to gouge her own eyeballs out of her head.

“Formula? I thought Cameron was feeding her until she went back to the prison.”

“She did. The doctor gave the okay for her to be transferred back. They took her back this morning to the prison hospital. In the meantime, the nurses are giving me my own room until Rachel is clear to go home, which will be this time tomorrow.”

Stacey started walking, mulling over all the information. “How did Cameron react when she had to leave?”

“The guards were nice and gave her a few minutes to say goodbye to Rachel. Afterwards, she seemed to be okay.”

“Do you think…?” Stacey began but decided against it.

“Do I think she'll eventually want her back? I don't know. She'd be a fool if she didn't.”

Stacey agreed. If the situation was reversed, she'd do all she could to get back to her baby. In the meantime, she'd enjoy whatever time God allowed her with Rachel and Joey.

“I missed you,” Joey said, taking her hand in his and offering her a weak smile.

Stacey couldn't help but think those words were born from the fact Cameron was no longer there
,
and he had no one else. Even if they were married, it didn't stop his heart from belonging to her. Seeing them in the delivery room together proved as much.

When she didn't say anything, he tugged her toward him. “Hey.”

Giving him as big a smile as she dared without feeling fake, she asked, “What?”

“You okay? When you left yesterday I felt like there was a mountain between us.”

The fake smile stayed plastered to her face. “No. Nothing was wrong. It's just all a little emotional for me.” She looked down the hall to the hustle and bustle at the nurse's station and heard someone call that it was time for another baby to be born.

“Why did you snap at me? What's wrong with me calling you baby?”

“I don't like it. Plain and simple.”

Joey studied her. Would he see right through to her soul and know she never wanted to be second best in his eyes? “Okay,” he said slowly. “Can I give my wife a kiss?”

Stacey held in the frustrated sigh threatening to escape. Where did she fit in all this? Granted, Stacey could pinpoint the moment things got complicated: their wedding night. Before sex got involved, she could see clearly. She was there only for Rachel and to do a friend a favor. Give a baby a mother, give her childhood friend a wife so he could be more stable and raise his baby girl.

Then he'd gone and got her naked, the jerk. If she'd held tight to her original thoughts, a ring wouldn't be around her finger
nor
the invisible noose around her neck. Could she live with Joey day after day with the memories in her mind of the way he'd looked and held Cameron?

Someone with a little more experience with men would know how to handle this. Maybe even suggest being adult enough to talk to him about it, but quite simply, Stacey was terrified to hear he could never love her and did, in fact, still love Cameron. It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure it out. They'd made a baby together for crying out loud.

Stacey leaned in and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, but he grabbed her waist and hauled her to him, taking possession of her mouth. The bag she'd brought him with a change of clothes fell to the floor next to her foot, and his hand speared through her hair, bringing her closer.

His tongue delved deeply and his feral groan reminded her of their honeymoon, when he hadn't been able to get enough of her. Funny how things had changed the second they got back.

“Hey, whoa! We specialize in deliverin' babies here, not makin' ‘em!” a dark-haired lady called out with a chuckle as she passed by with a rolling blood pressure monitor.

Joey tore away and pressed his forehead to hers. His embarrassed chuckle reminded her of the time they'd gotten caught behind his parents' shed, testing out what kissing felt like. Joey had heard a boy stuck his tongue in a girl's mouth when he really liked her. That had to have been about ten years ago now.

Boy, he'd figured it all out since then. Stacey waited
under her honeymoon
before finding out for herself what boys did when they liked girls. She couldn't say it wasn't worth the wait, but she could have stood a little more preparation time and less complication. He'd gone and caught her off guard too many times.

“I can't wait to make love to you again, Stacey. All this…” he said, looking around him, “… it makes me want to shout with joy. It sounds so corny, but that baby in there is my life. I never thought I'd love her as much as I do. And I just want to celebrate her… and us.”

Stacey sure did love being the afterthought. Pushing past her ridiculous and self-pitying subconscious, she gave him a smile. “Will you be home tonight?”

“Probably not. I'd like for you to stay with me, too. There are two beds in the room and you haven't even held her yet. I want you to bond with her the way I have.”

Why did it feel so wrong? Like she was just a stand-in mother until the real one came
back
.

Stacey tampered down the snort rising in her chest. It was exactly what she was. And she agreed to it, so she'd best buck up and take
up
the responsibility they'd agreed on.

“I don't think I can stay, Joey. I've got to go to the store and get a few necessities for her before you bring her home. She came a little early, remember? We don't have anything. No crib, no bassinet.”

Joey pulled her into the room the nurses had given him and took out his wallet. “Here's my debit card. Buy whatever we need. I don't know anything about that stuff, so I'm giving you full reign.”

Stacey turned the card over in her hands. “Sure.”

“There's the newlyweds!” exclaimed Ms. McCrary as she flittered in and gathered them both in a hug. She held two massive gift bags which were weighted down. She sat them on the floor and blew a stray tendril out of her face. “I've been shopping all morning! What kind of grandmother would I be if I didn't shower my beautiful granddaughter with all sorts of new stuff?”

“We were just talking about that,” Stacey muttered. “I've got to get a few things today so we have a place to put her. We need a car seat, crib, bassinet, stroller… that's only the beginning.”

“Well, I've got clothing, diapers, wipes, and newborn toys all taken care of right here.” She patted the top of the bag and then started pulling tiny little outfits out, one by one. They were so small; Stacey could barely imagine a doll, let alone a human being fitting in them.

Ms. McCrary put a hand on top of hers and gave her a sympathetic frown. “I know it's all overwhelming, honey, but I'm here to help. Do you want me to go with you to pick out the crib and everything? I don't want to intrude, but I'm happy to go if you want me to.”

“Actually, that sounds really good.” Maybe she could help her keep things practical.

“Then it's settled. When we leave here, we'll hit all the baby stores in town and make my son earn some of his
college
money.”

Stacey laughed at the incredulous look on Joey's face. Then he narrowed his eyes at his mom and pointed a finger. “I have the granddaughter. I can hold her hostage if I
need
to.”

Ms. McCrary laughed and held up her hands. “Fair enough. We'll be sensible, won't we, honey?”

Stacey looked at her mother-in-law and grinned when she winked at her. She could tell Joey was getting a kick out of watching the two of them together. But Stacey and his mom had always ganged up on him when they could and now was no exception.

“Here's the little woman of the hour!” a nurse exclaimed from the doorway as she wheeled in a plastic bassinet. “All vitals are good, Dad, and she's toasty warm. Just make sure to keep her fed every two hours.”

Joey nodded and thanked the nurse. Then, as if he'd fathered twenty babies, he picked Rachel up with an expertise that left Stacey in awe and walked over to her. “Would you like to hold her?”

Stacey's emotions bounced back and forth for a few seconds. All the womanly instincts in her told her to grab the baby up and snuggle her and take care of her, but the insecure, less-experienced side of her balked.

“Let me!” Ms. McCrary exclaimed, jumping out of her seat and taking the baby. Whether by design or divine intervention, Stacey felt a tug of relief.

Joey sat next to her, confusion written clearly in the frown of his eyebrows and the narrowing of his eyes. She knew him well enough to know he was trying to figure out what was wrong with her. Maybe later they would have a chance to talk, and she would get an opening to tell him how she felt. Of course, she didn't want him to think he had to take care of her, too. Walking on eggshells with your wife would be pretty difficult, especially when adjusting to a newborn in the house, too.

She watched her mother-in-law coo and giggle over the baby and every little movement she made. Stacey found herself craning her neck to take a peek. She hadn't seen her since the moment she came screaming into the world.

“Did you decide on a middle name?” Stacey asked, thinking about how they'd never discussed it.

“Rachel Hope. She's our hope that we'll eventually move forward with our lives.”

Stacey stood and gathered her things. “I'm going to go ahead and get the stuff we need. Twenty-four hours will be here before we know it!”

Rushing to the door, she didn't realize Joey was close on her heels. He closed the door to the room, giving them some privacy.

“Something is wrong with you, and I want to know what it is.” His tone brooked no argument. She looked into his blue eyes and immediately felt bad for ruining the memories of Rachel's birth.

“Can we just forget it, Joey? This is all overwhelming for me, okay. I'm not trying to ruin your day or your experience, I just don't know how to handle all this.”

“Stacey,” he began, his mouth working like he was searching for words. “I need you. I want you to love her as much as I do.”

“And I will.” It was a double-edged sword to tell him seeing him and Cameron together was hard, but she had to give him a little something to go on. “Joey…” She looked down the empty hallway, gathering her thoughts. “It was hard for me to see you with Cameron. I—”

“Stacey. You've always been a good friend to me, but you know I had a relationship with Cameron. She just had my kid. This marriage was never a love match and you know that.” His face turned red and his arms flailed. “What am I supposed to do? Just stop all the feelings I ever had for her? Forget Rachel was a product of that?”

“Joey, it's not—” Stacey held her hands up to stop his rant. She recalled from childhood days he could easily get wound up on his own thoughts.

“Seeing her again brought it all back. I didn't want it to come back, but it did. I'm ready to move forward… and I have moved on. With you.”

Stacey looked at the ground. “
Cameron's
beautiful. She's perfect for you. If you're having regrets about this, we can end it, Joey. I don't want it to get complicated.”

Turning away from her and running his fingers through his hair, he let his arms fall with a big slap against his thighs. Then he spun back around. “It's already complicated, Stacey. I'm married to you. I have a baby with someone else. You're my best friend, but she was my lover. She's messed up; you're not. You confuse me out of my mind, Stacey. You're everything I didn't expect you to be. You're all grown up and… sexy. Way sexier than I ever thought you could be.”

Stacey wasn't sure whether to be insulted or flattered. Instead, she got mad.

“I didn't go into this with expectations, but you know how I feel about you. How I've
always
felt about you. I love you, Joey, and maybe I jumped at the chance to be your wife just so I could have a little piece of what everyone else gets. Do you think I didn't want to be the one giving you a baby yesterday? Or be the one who hung the moon for you? Do you think I wanted to be the awkward third wheel in the delivery room when it was clear you love her so much? How easy do you think it was for a
wife
to watch, expectations or not?”