The Unexpected Choice (15 page)

 

 

“She doesn't know you're here, does she?” Cameron asked, squinting as if trying to read a blurry billboard.

“No. I thought it was best I c
ome here alone to talk
,” Joey said, feeling the weight of his omission heavily on his shoulders.

“Trouble in paradise?”

“Not at all. I just think we need to settle some things together.”

“Like what?”

“Like what's going to happen if you're granted parole and you ask for custody. Is that your intention?”

“She's my daughter. Yes, it's my intention. I haven't seen her since the day she was born, Joe. You won't let me.” Her raspy voice filtered through his mind like cotton candy, weaving a convoluted spell on his brain, making him remember things he had no business remembering.

“Do you understand why I've kept her away?” he asked, pushing his thoughts aside.

“Yeah. You're smitten with your new wife and want her to play mommy since I can't.”

Her harsh words surprised him since the last time he'd seen her she'd been so accommodating to Stacey. “No, Cameron. I meant what I said in the courtroom. I know you've got it in you to be a good person, and you proved it the day Rachel was born and signed her over to me until you got out. But you understand my hesitancy to bring you into her life when Stacey is all she's ever known.”

Cameron leaned back in her chair, studying her nails. “It doesn't change the facts, Joe. I'm her mother.
We
conceived her. You suddenly seem to forget I'm part of the equation here. Prison doesn't mean I stopped existing.”

“But it means you made some bad choices.”

“Doesn't every one?”

“Yes. But do you even want to do better?”

“I want my daughter. She should be with me. You're not going to come in here with some psychobabble and make me think I'm not good enough. Rachel might only know your little wife as her mother, but it won't be long before she knows all about me. Do
you
understand, Joe?”

He felt his shoulders slump against his will. “You're missing the point—”

“All I'm hearing is you want more things to throw at me in court when I try to do something to stay in touch with my kid. I'm not giving you any more ammunition. Besides, I know exactly who was behind your little rant in the courtroom.”

“Don't blame this on Stacey. She's been there for your
kid
when you couldn't be.”

With a sigh, Cameron sat up and took one of Joey's hands in hers. “Joey, I still love you, okay? It hurts me to see you with her. What you said in the courtroom hurt me. And I know she was just a replacement. When I get out of here, I want to try again. We can make it this time. I was terrified of settling down and being stuck with one person the rest of my life who didn't know what went on after dark. But Rachel changed everything for me. I want to share all those
new
memories with you and be your wife. I know Stacey doesn't please you as much as I did. It's all over your face.”

“What doesn't please me is you being a home-wrecker on top of a drug addict. Stacey is the best thing that's ever happened to me, Cameron.”

“We both know that's not true,” she whispered, looking deep into his eyes.

“T
here's a part of me that will always love you. I could never deny that. That's not a secret. You gave birth to my
daughter
. But getting back together just isn't an option, and I need you to accept it.”

Slowly, Cameron nodded. “It still hurts. All this was supposed to be my life and now someone else is living it. You don't sit in a prison cell all day without learning a few lessons.”

“I'm sorry. I don't mean to hurt you.”

“Then don't hurt me. Let's work together to get me out of here so we can live the life we wanted.”

Joey studied her. Since giving birth to Rachel, dark circles were under her blue eyes. He remembered a time when those blue eyes sparkled with mischief and love for him. Now they were dull and lifeless.

“I don't think it's what I want anymore. I just want us to figure out a way to give Rachel the best life possible. I want us to do that together. Without all the lawyers and mud-slinging.”

Cameron slowly nodded. “I want that, too.”

“Then let's do it.”

With great precision, Cameron leaned forward and took his hand in her small one. Her soft skin brought back far too many memories. “On one condition, Joe.”

Looking into her eyes, he knew he would do anything to keep things from escalating and jeopardizing his marriage. “What?”

“I want you to come see me every day after work. Until we know if I'm granted parole.
When this is over I want you to look in my eyes and tell me you don't still love me.
”

He shouldn't agree. He knew it was just a ploy for her to get under his skin again. His head screamed at him to say no, to tell her it was blackmail, pure and simple. But he thought of Stacey and Rachel at home and how perfect his life seemed the last few months
and how sure he was that he could meet her demands
. He didn't want
his wife or his perfect life
to go away, and he didn't want Stacey to worry Rachel would be taken from her. If coming here meant keeping peace, he'd do it as long as she wanted.

“I'll be here,” he whispered.

****

“You're home late tonight,” Stacey said as she placed a steaming plate of lasagna in front of him. “Rough day?”

Joey thought of his trip to see Cameron and how wounded Stacey would be
that
he'd agreed to see her every day. But then he thought about how the end justified the means and relaxed a little.

“No, just a lot of things I had to take care of.”

She eyed him carefully, but he schooled his expression so he didn't reveal anything. “Like what?”

“Work stuff.”

Rachel let out a shriek and they both jumped. With a chuckle, Joey lifted her out of her seat and placed a big kiss on her cheek. “I love you, Itsy Bitsy. How was your day with Mama today?”

Another squeal and her arms flailed. Then she promptly shoved her fingers in her mouth, and a string of drool puddled on her bib. “Mamamamamama.”

It was as if time stood still. He lifted his gaze to Stacey's and saw the shock registered on her face. “Did you hear that?” he asked softly.

“Tell me I didn't imagine it,” she whispered.

“You didn't. Say it again, Rachel. Ma-ma.”

“Mamamamamama,” she chanted and reached her arms out to Stacey. Stacey lifted her and spun her around in a circle, then hugged her close, pure joy in her wide eyes and open mouth.

“You said Mama!” she exclaimed and laughed.

“Because you are,” he issued, more sure than ever he'd made the right decision with Cameron now.

“I know. What about Da-da? Can you say Da-da?”

“Mamamama!” Rachel squealed again, each syllable getting louder and louder. Then she laid her downy head on Stacey's shoulder and said, “Mamama.”

Tears flooded Stacey's eyes, and Joey stood. He wrapped his arms around his family, more
humble
than ever. Stacey was Rachel's mother, and everything he'd gone through in the last year was suddenly worth it.

“I love you,” he said into Stacey's ear. This seemed to make the tears flow faster. He kissed them each away and rubbed his daughter's head.

“I love you, too,” she said with a wobbly smile. “And I love you, Rachel.”

“Mamama.”

They both laughed, and Stacey moved away from him, grabbing Rachel's bottle and feeding her with one hand as she placed her palm on Joey's cheek. The moment intensified when Stacey looked up to him, not a hint of shyness in her demeanor. He barely recognized the woman in front of him anymore. He knew the depth of her transformation went further than he could
fathom
, but in that moment, he realized he was truly clueless over how much she'd changed.

“Thank you, Joey. Thank you for everything.”

Joey captured her mouth in a quick kiss. “You're thanking me? I'm the lucky one. Always remember that.”

A sense of foreboding fell over Joey as they sat down to eat their dinner. He'd make a deal with the devil to protect what was his. But what if he had already done just that?

****

Stacey was starting to worry. Every night for the last week, Joey was late coming home from work. By several hours. As he walked in after nine p.m. eight days later, she simply sent him a look that told him they needed to talk. Rachel was already in bed, and Stacey had some time to think.

“What's wrong?” she asked, wrapping her arms around his shoulders as he sat at the table for dinner.

“Nothing, why?”

“Have I done something to upset you? You haven't been coming home until late.”

“No, everything's fine. I just have a lot of stuff to do lately.”

Placing a kiss underneath his ear, she heard his harsh exhale and then he dug into his food with fervor.

Still, Stacey couldn't place it, but she knew something was wrong. Joey had been evasive when she asked him questions about his workload, and suddenly it all made sense. Did he not want to be with her anymore? Was there someone else?

She plopped down in the chair and studied him closely. It was as if she wasn't there. Days had passed since they'd last made love or they'd enjoyed a simple night together without any expectations. She knew as soon as he was finished eating, he'd announce he was tired and go to bed.

And she'd follow like a loyal puppy, waiting for a scrap of affection.

The thing was, just as Joey had said, being a mother to Rachel had changed her. It made her see life for what it was now. A fleeting blip on the map God had given her to make a difference in a little girl's life. And possibly the man she'd always loved. But she could only do so much before frustration sat in, and she knew now that was the feeling in her chest.

She never wanted to go back to being the person she was before Joey came along. That person had been weak and lost and sad from her grandfather's passing. She had direction now. That direction was for Rachel and Joey. Being a wife made her happy, and having someone who came home to her every night felt like warm cookies at Christmastime.

But what if all those fears she thought she'd conquered came racing back? What if, despite all his admissions to the contrary, Joey still loved Cameron and wanted her back? What if, the second she was granted parole, Stacey was served with divorce papers?

He'd made it no secret in the beginning their marriage was no love match. He needed her for Rachel and to help him look stable for the courts. Now that he'd been given temporary custody, did he really need her anymore? Even though the battle wasn't over, he'd put up a respectable fight for his daughter.

If Stacey hadn't already been seated, she might have sat straight on the floor. She worried her lip in an effort to stave off the helpless feeling taking root in her gut. The reality was she couldn't make Joey love her. She couldn't make him stay. And considering he'd been such a player his whole adult life, he'd settled down remarkably fast and furious for a man with so many notches on his bed post. She'd been foolish to let those fears slide by in the name of love.

Now, as he studiously avoided her gaze, she realized Rachel was probably next. She'd be gone, Stacey's life would go right back to where she was when Joey knocked
on
her door months ago — lonely and scared. Only this time, she wouldn't have her grandfather to help her pick up after the fall.

She missed her grandfather's gentle assurances and his quiet smiles. For all intents and purposes, he'd been both her mother and her father when her parents died. What she wouldn't give for some of his advice.

“I think I'll go to bed,” Stacey said and rose on wobbly legs.

He gave her a strange look that spoke of confusion. “I'm not far behind you. I'm exhausted.”

“I know you are,” she said sadly. It meant there would be no physical affection tonight to keep her fears at bay. The insecurities were rearing their ugly faces again, and she was helpless to stop it. She felt rage consume her. Her hands shook as she grabbed the doorframe, looking back at Joey again.

“Hey, Stace?” he asked without looking up.

“Yeah?”

Finally he turned his expressionless gaze toward her and said, “I love you. You know that, right?”

“Yeah.”

But she didn't know anything at all.