The Up-Down (17 page)

 

 

5

Pace's dreams consumed him. Lula appeared in most of them, usually as her older self and often in need of his help, which in reality was almost never the case. His mother remained mobile and able to care for herself until the end of her life. Others who were featured, in various contexts, were Rhoda, Marnie, Perfume James, Gagool, the devilish Rattler brothers, who were killed when Pace was a teenager, Phil Reãl, Beany Thorn, his grandmama Marietta, and, of course, Sailor.

The situations involved family gatherings, reunions with old friends and adversaries, and occasional encounters with unrecognizable people, all relatively benign. The worst dreams were those in which Pace was by himself in an airport or train station in a foreign country and had lost his ticket or passport; he was stranded without money or identification, in the midst of a fast-moving crowd of travellers speaking languages unknown to him.

Pace thought these dreams foretold what awaited him after death, both the good and the bad, neither heaven nor hell; only a kind of restless netherworld, not the sanctuary he desired. It did not matter what a person had done during his or her lifetime, Pace decided, whether they had helped or hindered or hurt others; death, also, would pass.

* * *

It was Angelina who found Pace's body lying on the ground next to the woodpile. She had brought a freshly killed chicken, broccoli and chocolate ice cream for his Thursday dinner. After Angelina phoned Tercero and gave him la dolorosa, as he called it, the bad news, she put the groceries into the refrigerator in the cottage, made a pot of coffee, and sat down at the kitchen table to wait for her husband.

Six days later, a letter arrived for Pace that was never opened and not returned to sender by the post office in Bay St. Clement for lack of a return address.

Dear Mister Pace Ripley,

I dearly hope this letter gets to you even though I don't have your proper address. I figure the p.o. in Bay St. Clement will know and deliver it. I never have forgot your tenderness to me when I was a runaway little girl you never saw before. That girl is now in Los Angeles. No she is not a famous singer or movie star. Not yet! She is working as a hostess in a restaurant in Santa Monica and taking singing and dancing and acting lessons. Her daddy is in Atlanta but he had a stroke last year and can't preach any more. He still goes to the First Ethiopian Church of the Queen of Sheba and sits and listens and prays. Mostly for his daughter he says. The people there take good care of him and she calls him every Saturday morning. Ray-Ray puts you in his prayers too. His daughter is sure he would like you to know that. Mr. Ripley I am all right but I do get sad a lot. I don't know if my mama is alive or the drugs got her. I get nightmares sometimes about what I done to Bee Sting. It's very hard for me to get really close to anybody a boy or a girl. You probably understand this problem because you are so smart. I hope this will change some day. I want you to know you are always in my own prayers right at the top along with Daddy. If you ever pray pray for me too okay. One more thing I don't use the name Gagool out here it was too strange. Now my name is Cassie short for Cassiopeia who was a black queen of Ethiopia like Sheba. There is a star named after her.

Cassie (Gagool) Angola

 

 

CODA

Pace Ripley's writings were found by Angelina when she was packing up his possessions. She gave them to Tercero, who contacted Marnie Kowalski, in the hope she would know what to do with them. Marnie asked Tercero to please send the manuscripts to her in New Orleans, which he did. In his will, Pace had left the Delahoussaye property to Tercero and Angelina, which was a complete surprise to them; a most welcome one since she was pregnant and they were soon to be in need of more ample living quarters.

Marnie read every word Pace had written: both the 2,500 pages about the lives of Sailor and Lula, and his 1,700 page memoir recorded in the form of a diary. She showed the Sailor and Lula manuscript to one of her regular customers at Magdalena's who was a professor in the English department at Tulane University. He read and recommended it to a publisher he knew in New York, who liked it and edited Pace's enormous novel and published it. Very few people bought the book, but Marnie was thrilled, just as she knew Pace would have been. She sincerely believed there were people out there in the world who would discover and be as profoundly moved by it as she was. After all, it was a genuine true-love story, and there could never be too many of those. Pace's memoir Marnie kept to herself; it was too personal, she felt, for anyone who had not known him intimately to read. The diary was his truth, and the truth is always best kept to one's self.

 

 

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Barry Gifford's fiction, non-fiction and poetry have been published in twenty-eight languages. His novel
Night People
was awarded the Premio Brancati, established by Pier Paolo Pasolini and Alberto Moravia, in Italy, and he has been the recipient of awards from PEN, the National Endowment for the Arts, the American Library Association, the Writers Guild of America, and the Christopher Isherwood Foundation. His books
Sailor's Holiday
and
The Phantom Father
were each named a Notable Book of the Year by the
New York Times
, and his book
Wyoming
was named a Novel of the Year by the
Los Angeles Times
. He has written librettos for operas by the composers Toru Takemitsu, Ichiro Nodaira and Olga Neuwirth. Gifford's work has appeared in many publications, including
The New Yorker
,
Punch
,
Esquire
,
La Nouvelle Revue Française
,
El País
,
La Repubblica
,
Rolling Stone
,
Brick
,
Film Comment
,
El Universal
,
Projections
, and the
New York Times
. His film credits include
Wild at Heart
,
Perdita Durango
,
Lost Highway
,
City of Ghosts
,
Ball Lightning
, and
The Phantom Father
. Barry Gifford's most recent books are
Sailor & Lula: The Complete Novels
,
Sad Stories of the Death of Kings
,
Imagining Paradise: New & Selected Poems
and
The Roy Stories
. He lives in the San Francisco Bay Area. For more information visit www.BarryGifford.com.