The Wedding (29 page)

Jeff and Allegra were across the hall, and she had been keeping an eye out for tabloids, but she hadn't seen even one photographer as they entered. There had been some talk for a while, about Alan and Carmen having an affair, but it had only been a month, and no one suspected they were going to get married.

They changed wigs at the hotel, and everyone became redheads, except Alan, who became a bad peroxide blond, and he loved it.

My God. Allegra grinned at him and he laughed uproariously. You look awful.

I kind of like it, he said, pretending to give her the eye and a little pat on her bottom, and then he switched back to his black one again, and imitated Elvis.

It's a good thing you already have a career, Allegra said, looking disgusted. I don't think I could get you a job anywhere if you didn't.

Ya never know, kiddo. Ya never know.

Carmen disappeared into the back bedroom then, with the long plastic garment bag she'd been carrying. And half an hour later she emerged in a short white satin dress, and her hair in a smooth French twist underneath a short veil. Her makeup was flawless, as was her face, and her long, slender legs, exposed by the short skirt, were even better. It was quite a transformation from the polyester dress and the wig, and she looked really lovely. She was wearing white satin high heels, and her dress was low cut. She looked breathtaking, and Alan was really moved when he saw her. He was still wearing the polyester pants and the wig, and he went to put on a linen jacket, and real shoes. But he had decided to get married in the blond wig. That way, he said, they'd have blond children.

You're crazy, Carmen said, kissing him.

Half an hour later the justice of the peace Allegra had arranged for appeared. She knew that if she'd asked the hotel to do it, it would have hit the tabloids. But it might anyway, if the justice of the peace recognized them, which he had to, looking at Carmen. And their names would inevitably be on their marriage certificate, but it would be too late to tip anyone off by then.

Allegra had decided to stay in her funny clothes too. She had actually brought a poodle skirt, and she slipped it on with the red wig, and she was wearing sandals. It was quite an outfit.

I can't wait to see the wedding pictures, Jeff said, standing up for Alan. Allegra was touched that Alan had asked him.

You don't look so hot either, you know, Alan said, cutting Jeff down to size. He had put on a Ralph Lauren blazer over a bowling shirt, and he wore the same blond wig as Alan.

The justice of the peace didn't know who they were, but he thought they were completely crazy. He ran the ceremony by them in less than three minutes, pronounced them man and wife, and signed the license without even glancing at the names. He had called Carmen Carla twice during the ceremony, and Alan Adam. But as soon as it was over, Allegra poured champagne, they ordered caviar, and it was official that they were married.

Carmen Carr. Allegra was the first to say it, and the second to kiss her, after Alan. I like it.

So do I, Carmen said, with tears in her eyes. She still wanted a church wedding in Oregon, but she knew what a circus that would have been, with paparazzi and helicopters, screaming fans and police lines. They just couldn't face it.

Good luck, the justice of the peace said from the doorway. He handed Alan his marriage certificate, and then hurried off to perform dozens of other weddings. He had no idea who he had just joined in matrimony. As far as he was concerned, they were just Adam and Carla.

An hour later, they all went downstairs to play the slot machines and gamble. Allegra tapped discreetly on the bodyguards' doors as they went by, and they fell in behind them. It was a completely smooth operation, and there were no hitches at all until almost midnight, when someone recognized Carmen and asked for her autograph. Carmen was always gracious about it, and she had taken her veil off by then, but she was still wearing the short wedding dress she'd been married in. A few minutes later someone snapped her photograph, and Allegra knew the onslaught was coming.

It's time to go, Cinderella, she said quietly. Your chariot awaits. Two more bodyguards were guarding the bus, and no one had entered it since they left it, except the driver, and he knew nothing.

It's too early, Carmen complained, but the casino was jammed with people, and the prospect of a stampede, or even a crush, didn't appeal to anyone. ' Look, everybody! It's Carmen Connors, she just got married. ' And Alan Carr ' snap ' scream ' shriek ' grab ' Forget it.

Come on, Mrs. Carr. Move your ass. This is my wedding night, and I'm not going to stand around here all night playing bingo. Alan kissed her firmly, and patted her bottom, and the entire group headed out to where the bus was waiting. As Carmen boarded the steps she looked back at Allegra and Jeff, and Allegra handed her a plastic bouquet of white flowers she'd had the bus driver hold for them, and Carmen threw it gracefully from the top step of the bus, and Allegra caught it. In spite of all the craziness and the funny outfits they had worn, she looked really lovely, and the assembled company smiled as they watched them. And the bus driver thought that in that outfit, she looked a little like Carmen Connors. If she hadn't had the accent, and she were a little taller, she might even look a lot like her, he said to Allegra.

Yeah, maybe, she said, looking unconvinced. And then they closed the doors. The bus started up, and the bridal couple waved as Jeff and Allegra stayed behind with the bodyguards. It was over. They had done it. They were safe. And there had not been a single hitch or tabloid. Allegra had done an incredible job of setting it up for them, and Jeff was more impressed than ever.

You are a genius, he complimented her, as they watched the bus drive into the distance. At four A.M. they'd be at Alan's house, and all they had to do was pick up their bags, change their clothes, and catch a nine o'clock flight to Tahiti. End of story.

It was cute, wasn't it? Allegra smiled up at him. She was happy it had gone so well. She hadn't wanted the tabloids spoiling it for them, or vicious paparazzi stalking them.

They couldn't have had a real wedding, could they? Jeff asked pensively. He couldn't see how they'd have pulled it off, without the costumes or the wigs, or the privacy of the suite, or the bodyguards, or even the rock-star bus. It had all been perfect.

They could have, Allegra admitted, but she had discouraged it, particularly to Alan, and he had convinced Carmen. But it would have been a nightmare. Helicopters everywhere, photographers, the media would have paid off every supplier they used. It's like a tug-of-war after a while, everything is a battle. She would have hated it. Jeff nodded. He didn't disagree with her anymore. The experience in the bowling alley had taught him a lot about the way they lived. In spite of the lives everyone envied and wanted for themselves, none of it was easy. I thought it was more fun like this anyway, Allegra said, thinking how cute Carmen had looked in the short veil, and later tossing the plastic bouquet at Allegra.

I'll have to save this. She waved the bouquet at Jeff as they walked back into the hotel. The bodyguards had already discreetly left them. They were no longer needed. And the law firm would be billed for their time. She had thanked them at the bus, and now they were gone. She was alone with Jeff and several thousand people in the lobby.

They went back up to their suite. They were staying for the night, and in the morning they were going back to L.A. in a limousine. By then, Alan and Carmen would be in the air and on their way to Tahiti. She and Alan had agreed how the announcement would be handled. Nothing would be said until after their honeymoon, so stringers around the world wouldn't find them. Probably someone in their hotel might tip the press off eventually, but Bora Bora was fairly remote, and Alan thought they'd be safe there. And after they got back, there would be a press conference with both of them, for five minutes, with photo opportunities, announcing their marriage. Just give the sharks a little bit, a finger or a toe, to keep them happy, Allegra had told them.

Allegra lay in his arms that night, cozy and happy, thinking of Carmen and Alan. He was one of her oldest friends, and it was funny to think of him being married.

Happy Valentine's Day, Jeff said softly.

Same to you, she said, turning her back to him, as he put his arms around her. And she never stirred again until morning. She dreamed of catching the bouquet, and she kept laughing because it was plastic. And when she caught it, Jeff drove away on a bus, and she had to run all night to catch him. In her dreams, as in her life, people were always running away from her. But not anymore, she reminded herself when she woke up, not now ' and not Jeff ' He was staying.

Carmen and Alan came home from Bora Bora in mid-March and this time there was no avoiding the tabloids. The list of nominees for the Academy Awards had come out while they were gone, and they were both on it. The press were out in force when they got off the plane. Someone at the airlines had tipped them off, but the newlyweds were ready. They each had a deep tan, and they looked fabulous as the cameras flashed and they made their way slowly through the small crowd waiting for them at the airport.

Allegra had arranged for a car to pick them up, and they got to it as quickly as they could, after posing for a couple of pictures. They got right into the limousine, and two bodyguards waited for their luggage.

Allegra had also arranged for a bottle of champagne in the car for them, and when they got home to Alan's house in Beverly Hills, they found the house filled with flowers. But within days, the media had made their life there almost too complicated to put up with. Photographers clamored at the gates, as helicopters hovered overhead trying to catch glimpses of them in the garden or the pool, and researchers for the tabloids stole their garbage. It was unbearable, and they rapidly moved to Malibu, but it was worse there, and finally they hid out for a few days at Allegra's.

She moved in with Jeff for a few days, and the foursome donned wigs and went to small, unknown restaurants in the valley.

I can't believe this, Jeff said, appalled at the intrusions they had to live with. He was still working on the last polish of his screenplay. He and Allegra had had a nice, quiet month, with the exception of another threat against Bram Morrison, which had kept her busy. His family had gone to Palm Springs again, and he had borrowed a friend's home at an unknown location. He never went anywhere without bodyguards now, and a series of articles that said he was making a hundred million dollars from his concert tour only made it worse. Now everyone wanted a piece of the action, whatever they had to do to get it, even kidnapping or blackmail.

Alan and Carmen had been back for two weeks on April first, and Allegra and Carmen met for two hours that afternoon to go over the details of her new contract. She'd already signed it before she left on her honeymoon, but there were some fine points Allegra had wanted to go over with her, to determine just exactly what her expectations would be when she started the picture. They needed to talk about what kind of dressing room she would have, the schedules she would work, and iron out all the little details ahead of time, to avert any unnecessary crisis.

They had worked most of it out when Carmen looked at her attorney with a mischievous smile, and Allegra remembered that it was April Fools' Day. Growing up, she and Alan had made all kinds of mischief around that, and played awful pranks on each other. And her brother Scott loved torturing his entire family on April Fools' Day. She was surprised that he hadn't called her. Every year, he gave her some dreadful shock, either claiming to be in Mexico, in jail, married to a prostitute, or in San Francisco having a sex change. But she had given it back to him over the years. And as they looked at Carmen, she could suddenly see one coming.

There's something I've been meaning to tell you, Carmen said with a huge grin, and Allegra laughed even before she heard it.

Let me guess. You and Alan are getting divorced. Ha-ha, April Fools' Day.

Carmen laughed at what she said. Alan had pulled two of those on her that morning. He had claimed that an old boyfriend of hers was at the door, and then that his mother was moving in with them for the next six months. Both announcements had given Carmen quite a jolt first thing in the morning.

No, nothing like that, she said, looking suddenly shy, but Allegra was still suspicious of what was coming. In her own way, she was too much like Alan. We're having a baby, she said, beaming.

You are? So soon? She knew they wanted kids, but she thought they would wait at least a little while longer. She was due to start her movie in June. She was only shooting for three months, but now it wasn't going to be easy. How pregnant are you? Allegra asked, holding her breath, terrified that they would lose the picture.

Only a month, Carmen said sheepishly. Alan said it was too soon to say anything, but I wanted to tell you. And I thought maybe it would make a difference to the studio. I'll only be three months' pregnant when I start. But I'll be six months' when we finish. Do you think they'll break the contract?

I'm not sure, Allegra said honestly. They may be able to shoot around it. You probably won't show till close to the end of the picture. Thank God, you don't have a longer shooting schedule. Some movies took eight or nine months to make, which in this case would have been a disaster. But Carmen was the main focus of the picture, though she wasn't in the entire movie. Maybe they can move it up. They'll do something to work it out I know how badly they want you. I'll call them this afternoon, Allegra said, and then smiled at her. Congratulations ' Alan must be going crazy. He loved kids. For him, it was what he had always wanted, a wife, a family, and a baby. That's quite something. And it's not April Fool, I hope! Allegra asked pointedly and Carmen laughed.