The Wedding Cake Tree (29 page)

Then I thought of
my real childhood, not so dissimilar and I thought of Jake; calm, kind Jake. We had done all of the fun things I could ever have imagined doing with Geoffrey – and more. He was my dependable old lion, he was my father. I smiled. It was time to move on.

I took a
few seconds to soak up the sunshine and was about to head back when a damp Springer Spaniel appeared at the water’s edge directly in front of me. A second later, a thick vegetative stem masquerading as a stick, with a long strand of seaweed attached to it, splashed into the water. The dog took the stem and shook his silky coat by my feet.

A
man walked towards the dog; his presence gave me a much needed push to move on. The dog, still at my feet, put his elbows on the sand but kept his hind quarters raised. He barked and pounced playfully towards the seaweed until the man arrived and, on taking the dog’s heavy hint, he threw the makeshift toy back into the water. The man stood next to my rock and watched the dog frolicking in the sea. I smiled politely, grabbed my sweater and began to walk away.

A voice called out
, ‘Grace?’

I
turned around.

‘
I’m Geoffrey.’

I had no clue
what to say, or how to behave. What was the expected behaviour of two strangers who find they have a questionable genetic link and meet by chance on a remote and achingly picturesque Scottish beach? Run into his arms? Cry? Shout, Daddy, my daddy? None of these things seemed appropriate.

‘
I couldn’t do it,’ I said, ‘come to the house I mean. I’m sorry.’

‘
Don’t be sorry. It’s all such a sad state of affairs and, I have to tell you, the revelation of your existence has been … awkward, for me.’ He leant forward with a sigh, picked up the seaweed and held it in his hand. The dog, realising his owner was distracted, lay down at his feet.

‘
Yes, it must have been. Do you have a partner now?’

He paused for a second.
The man looked exhausted.

‘
I do, yes. Only, Jean isn’t just my partner, she’s my wife.’

‘
Your wife? But I thought you were still married to Mum. I don’t understand.’

He leant
against the rock I’d been sitting on.

‘
After Frances disappeared I waited for a while, thought she would simply turn up one day. Your mum could be quite … unpredictable.’ He smiled at the thought of her, but the smile soon faded. ‘But after a couple of years I realised she wasn’t coming back and, what can I say, I moved on, what else could I do?’

‘
Didn’t you try to find her, or at least
try
to get a divorce?’ I asked, astounded that he had, after all, just admitted to being a bigamist.

‘
Yes, of course. But I kept hitting brick walls. Jean fell pregnant and I had to do the right thing.’

I stood in front of him
and put my fingers to my forehead. I tried (and failed) to take it all in.

‘
Jean had – has – no idea I was married before.’

‘
So, how have you explained all of this to her now, how has she taken the news about me?’ By the fact that Alasdair was greeted by Jean at the door, I assumed she must know the whole story.

‘
I haven’t.’

To my complete surprise my eyes filled with tears.

‘But the woman at the door?’

‘
Is an old friend of mine who worked at the lodge. She met your mother once. She’s the only person here who knows.’

‘
So, where’s Jean?’ I asked, still confused.

‘
Shopping in Mallaig. She’ll be back soon. The thing is, if she ever found out …’

He rubbed his hands up and down his f
ace in anguish. I knew what he was getting at.

‘
Your secret's safe with me Geoffrey.’

He smiled, relieved.

‘These things, they just happen. You don’t intend to be deceitful, at the time you think you’re doing the right thing. I’m sorry, but if you came here to find a family, I can’t. I have nothing to offer you.’

He dropped his head
. I felt wretched.

‘
So, don’t you want to find out if you’re my father, not even in secret?’

He shook his head
, ‘No.’

There was
n’t anything left to say. He lifted himself from the rock; the dog was lying by his feet and began to stretch in preparation for their departure.

‘
Not that it’s any of my business, but I’m glad I met your husband, a fine man – and very protective of you.’ I didn’t correct him regarding Alasdair’s status in my life.

‘
Just one thing before you go, Geoffrey. The tree in your garden – the wedding cake tree –did you plant it?’

‘
Ha! She kept her tree then, is that how you know the significance?’

I nodded.

‘I bought another one, thinking she would come back. But it’s been nothing but a reminder of wasted years … and it’s never properly taken root either, never flourished. I don’t think a tree like that is suited to life here.’ He kicked the sand. ‘What on earth was the woman thinking of?’

Fi
nally understanding everything my mother wanted me to learn, I leapt to her defence.

‘
Like you said Geoffrey, I’m sure she thought she was doing the right thing, at the time.’ Bizarrely, I thought about the ospreys at Loch Garten, and how the returning mate had thrown the younger mate’s eggs out of the nest.

‘
If she had told you she was pregnant and confessed I might not be your child, would you still have wanted me?’

He turned to face the islands.

‘I can’t answer that. I just don’t know.’

I didn’t watch him leave but turned and walked to the car. I had cried many tears over the past six months, but nothing could compare to the heart-wrenched sobs I cried during the ten minute walk through the dunes.

A
lasdair was leaning against the car. He said not a word but took me in his arms and held me in silence while I wept.

‘
He doesn’t want me. I might be his daughter, but he doesn’t want me.’

‘
I know,’ he whispered across the top of my head. ‘He hasn’t the strength to rock the boat with his wife. The man is an idiot. But, if you think about it, an hour ago you didn’t want him either, not really.’

I glanced up at him
and smiled.

‘
Did you tell him where I was?’

‘
Yes, I saw you trying to caterpillar crawl away from the croft.’ He smiled at the thought. ‘You’re a rubbish soldier, Grace.’

‘
Why did you tell him where I was?’

‘
I felt the thing needed to be faced by both of you.’

Alasdair passed me his handke
rchief. Once again I thought of Aunt Annie and tried my hardest to pull myself together. At least
she
wanted to know me.

A
nother thought crossed my mind.

‘
Are there any ashes for here?’

‘
Yes there are, as if you haven’t been through enough already.’

‘
I’m not going to scatter her here, Alasdair. I know it’s what she wanted, but Mum didn’t know the full story. She seems to have clung on to a rose-tinted view of him. I’ll take her back to Devon, to Jake.’

‘
Come on, Rainy Face,’ he said brightly. ‘I want you to listen to your uncle Al. I want you to leap up, I mean really leap, and tell yourself it’s time for a change, time to put this nonsense behind you.’

I looked up at him wi
th absolute love and affection and wiped the last of the tears away.

‘There’s only one thing to be done at a time like this
,’ he said cheerily.

I put my arms around him and looked up. ‘What’s that?’

‘What we Brits always do when we’re a bit disheartened. Go and get a nice cup of tea.’

Chapter Thirty-Three

‘
So, where do we go from here?’ I asked, pouring the last dregs of stewed tea between our two cups.

‘
We’d better talk about that away from prying ears.’ He glanced around the moderately busy café.

‘
No, silly arse, I mean literally, where next, how long have we got here?’

He relaxed.
             

‘
Ah. We leave for Devon in the morning and then, well, that’s it, you’re rid of me.’

‘
What if I don’t want to be rid of you?’

He
touched my cheek tenderly and gestured to the waitress for the bill.

‘
Come on, let’s go somewhere private.’

Arisai
g was a beautiful village set within a stunning bay, but our time there had been marred by the weather, the letter and the disturbing meeting with Geoffrey. Overtaken by the desire that our last day of adventure together wouldn’t be devoid of fun, I told Alasdair to carry on without me to the beach … it was a surprise! I had noticed a hardware shop that hired out fishing rods and sold bait. It was the perfect day for a spot of fishing.

Alasdair
had rested his back against a sand dune and closed his eyes. He didn’t notice me trotting along the beach towards him, loaded up with rods, bait and a net. I stood by his boots and dropped my accoutrements onto the sand.

‘
I don’t think you get much sleep in real life.’ I sat astride him seductively. ‘Or am I wearing you out?’

He sat up, put his hands to the back of my neck, pulled me towards him and kissed me – good God the man knew how to kiss!

‘
So,’ I whispered in his ear, ‘time to get your tackle out.’

He
looked as though all of his birthdays had come at once.

‘
What? Here? Right now? Okay then!’

I jumped
up from his legs and stood next to him on the sand.

‘
Sorry to disappoint, but
this
is the tackle I was referring to.’ I picked up a rod. ‘
Ta dah
!’

He
laughed out loud and looked both disappointed
and
relieved at the same time.

‘
Ah.’ He jumped up, still laughing. ‘A fishing competition, excellent.’

‘
Typical bloke,’ I said, picking up the gear and heading towards the rocks.

‘
What?’ It was his turn to follow on behind.

‘
You have to turn everything into a competition.’ I turned to look at him cheekily. ‘But you’ll regret it this time, because I’m going to kick your arse.’

Like a couple of garden gnomes we perched ourselves on the rocks. Alasdair left his rod on the ground and watched amusedly as I baited my hook with a wriggly maggot and adjusted the rod.

‘
Stop looking at me like that,’ I said.

‘
Like what?’

‘
Like “Woman, know your limits! This is man’s work.”’

‘
I’m not, I assure you. Although if you start telling me the ins and outs of the Arsenal offside trap, or the benefits of a good defensive stroke in cricket, then I really will have to have a serious word with Jake.’

‘
There’s nothing wrong with being a tomboy, Alasdair.’

‘
Actually, I was smiling at something else entirely,’ he said with a smirk.

‘
What now?’

‘
I take it you know you stick your tongue out when you’re concentrating?’

I stuck my tongue
back in.

‘
Stop trying to put me off, this bet is as good as mine.’

‘I don’t think so
,’ he said dismissively, then nodded towards my choice of bait. ‘Not while you’re using maggots as bait anyway.’

I glanced into the bucket. ‘W
hy? What’s wrong with maggots? The owner of the shop was out, but the girl standing in for him said—’

Alasdair snorted.
‘Girl? Well she knows diddly squat about fishing if she recommended maggots.’

This was war!

‘Okay then, smartarse, what are
you
going to use for bait, fresh air?’ He was just about to answer when I added, ‘Don’t tell me, you’re going to whittle yourself a spear and dive right in.’

He laughed
, flashed me a cocky
I know best
smile and stood up.

‘If you must know,
I’m going to turn to nature to find my bait, which – you will learn – is always the best thing to do, Missy.’

Missy?

Not caring about getting his boots wet, he stepped into the water, pulled up his sleeves, stooped down and swished his hands around under a patch of seaweed. A eureka facial expression followed and, with his hands still in the water, he flashed me his brightest smile.

‘Ah, perfect,
’ he said, ‘just as I thought.’

He stood up
and held out his dripping hands to show me his prize.

Muss
els?

He
looked away and visually scoured the dunes.

‘
And all I need now,’ he said, still glancing around, ‘is some wool.’

And with that
, he placed the mussels on a rock, and wandered off.

Mussels? Wool?
The man had gone barmy.

Alasdair disappeared over a dune only to
reappear a couple of minutes later with a tiny amount of scraggy-looking fleece in his hand. I nodded toward the wool.

‘Did you just
wrestle a sheep to get that?’

He rolled his eyes
. ‘Don’t be daft, I got it from a fence.’

‘Oh, of course.’

He sat down next to me on the rocks (looking rather smug, I thought), before twirling a stretch of wool into thin twine and placing it between his teeth. Then, he took out his knife, cracked open a mussel (which looked much slimier than the cooked version) and pierced the mussel through the hook. The wool was then wrapped round the mussel to secure it onto the hook. He flashed me an even smugger, ‘super-genius’ grin.

Trying to hide my worry that he may just be right about the bait, I
glanced at my line (lying dormant in the sea) and said, ‘Mussels and wool? You’ll end up with zero reward for a lot of effort, mark my words!’

He cast his line into the water.
‘We’ll see young ’un, we’ll see …’

Half an hour later, with not a tickle in sight, my thoughts turned to our surroundings.

‘
This place is heavenly, have you been here before?’

‘
Not here, no. I’ve been to Skye a few times though, to the Cuillins’—he nodded towards the mountains on Skye—‘those big beasts over there.’

‘
Were you on holiday?’

He laughed.

‘Not exactly no. Training in the mountains, that’s all.’ He pulled his line out of the water before casting off once more.

‘
The island over there,’ he said, ‘the one that looks like a volcano?’

‘
Yes?’

‘
That’s Rum, and the other one that looks like a shark’s fin? That’s Eigg.’

He leant back and allowed the sun to soak into his face.
‘I’ve always wanted to take off and go island-hopping round the Western Isles. Fancy it sometime?’

‘
Definitely.’

It
was time to do some additional fishing of my own. ‘So, Alasdair Finn, my man of mystery, when you were reluctant for us to get together in Zagreb, when you said you only had a few days to give, was it because of your job, because you feel you can’t commit?’

‘
Yes. I’m sorry.’

‘
Listen, you need to stop worrying about me. I’ve known from the outset that you’re special forces, but even if you were a regular soldier, you would still spend lots of time away doing dangerous stuff. Truth is, I’d rather see you occasionally than never, and even if you were injured or—or—whatever, then I’d still be pleased that you were in my life.’

It was Alasdair’s turn to
take his line out of the water. He turned to me, took my hand and stroked it with his thumb. After a very deep sigh, he started to talk.

‘
You’re right. What I do isn’t so different from being a regular soldier, but I’m not often in this country, and when I am I tend to be working. I can’t talk to you about what I do, can’t tell you where I am for half the time, or where I’m going. Time spent together would be dictated by what precious time I have free. Just taking this time off with you for the past nine days had to be planned well in advance. It’s not that I can’t have a private life, but it’s a limited and selfish one, which is why my marriage didn’t work … did you know I’d been married?’

I nodded. ‘Mum mentioned it in a letter – one you haven’t read.’

‘Ah, right.  Well, as I said in Zagreb, starting something with you would be selfish of me, but as you well know – the siren that you are,’ he raised his eyebrows playfully, ‘I just couldn’t resist. When Rosamund asked me to come away with you, every ounce of common sense told me to say no. Do you know the real reason why I said yes to her?’

I remembered his letter to Mum.
‘Because she was dying? Because she helped you at the retreat?’

‘
No, I’m not that nice. It was because I’d seen your cracking body at St Christopher’s and I couldn’t get you out of my head’—he feigned a guilty expression—‘I’m
that
shallow. My intelligence work won’t last forever, but until I’ve seen it through I don’t have much to offer. I want to hold on to you forever. But I don’t want to be selfish either, so I’ll leave it up to you.’

I was jus
t about to step in when he said, ‘Actually, you’re right. Fuck it. If another man so much as lays a finger on you, I will almost certainly go instantly mad, or I’ll rip his arms off – oh, and I insist on vetting this friend of yours, Paul is it? So, you’re stuck with me.’ He flashed me his schoolboy grin. I looked up to the sky and burst out laughing.

‘
Just tell me one thing. Are you actually James Bond but you just can’t tell me? And, even more important than that, do you drive an Aston Martin? Because if you drive one of those, then I’m definitely sticking around.’ He laughed out loud.

‘
If I say yes will you be my Miss Moneypenny? Or,’ he added quickly with a wink, ‘even better, Pussy Galore?’

‘
Oh God yes.’ We burst into laughter.

‘
Sorry to disappoint,’ he said, ‘but my work is in no way glamorous, and I drive a clapped out Jeep … although I do have a pretty flash motorbike.’

I convulsed into giggles
. Paul would wet himself when I told him!

‘What’s so funny about having a motorbike?’

I took him by surprise by leaning in and kissing him tenderly.

‘I’ll take whatever you have to offer
Mr Finn.’

And then I got a tickle
.

My rod jerked and
I squealed with excitement. Thankfully, my competitive nature took control of my emotions, and I calmed down enough to reel in my catch. A decent-sized fish emerged from the water and flapped wildly on the end of the line.

‘Quick, g
rab it!’

Alasdair
opened the fish’s mouth, removed the hook and balanced the prize catch across his hands. It was a pollock (according to Alasdair). My eyes travelled from the fish to Alasdair’s face.

‘Looks like we have a winner
then,’ I said cockily, ‘and I think you’ll find that the winner is me. Watch and learn kiddo, watch and learn.’ I gave my hair a flirtatious flick and winked at him naughtily. ‘Mussels and wool you reckon? Nah, maggots’ll do it every time.’

Alasdair was peering at me through squinting eyes
while I spoke. I tried to keep a straight face, but it was impossible. He opened the flapping fish’s mouth once more, squinted to look inside, glanced back at me, and then removed a microscopic bit of wool from behind tiny teeth. He held up his exhibit for the prosecution.

‘
Grace Buchanan. Did you swap rods when I went for a pee?’

‘
Errr …’ I bit my lip. ‘When you say swap rods, could you possibly be a little more … specific?’ I couldn’t help but giggle.

Alas
dair’s eyes flashed bright blue – a wicked blue.

‘Right! You’re mine
.’

I
squealed and started at a pace down the beach while Alasdair crouched down and lowered the fish back into the water. He caught up with me within seconds, threw me over his shoulder, then carted me to the water’s edge and dangled my backside over the sea.