The White Carnation (38 page)

“You'll never know how much I blame myself for leaving you.”

Faye touched his face, his rusty stubble partially hidden under the cream camouflage paint he still wore. “It doesn't matter now. I should've asked you to wait and take me with you. Oh, Rob. I was so stupid, so foolish to believe you'd betray me all those months ago.”

“And if you hadn't, he'd have found another way. What happened wasn't our agenda, it was his. When I look back now, seeing all the people who've died because of this sick bastard, I wonder why he didn't just kill me.”

“Because it wasn't part of their plan. Lucy and Meredith weren't supposed to die. Things got all messed up. You said it yourself: they always make a mistake. Killing you back then would've killed me. I may be more like my father than I thought, because when I believed you were dead, I didn't want to go on. I welcomed the smoke and the thought of dying. I looked forward to my release.” Tears filled her eyes. “We were leaving in a couple of hours. If you hadn't come when you did, I'd have lost you forever.”

He rocked her gently. “Well, you didn't.” After kissing the top of her head, he moved her slightly away from him. “I've got something for you. I swore I'd give it to you the minute I saw you.” He held out her engagement ring. “I know this isn't the best time and place, but I love you, Faye. I have all these months. I don't want to lose you again. Will you take this back? Will you marry me?”

Tears spilled down her cheeks, and she kissed him tenderly, ignoring the ring in his hand.

“I love you more than I'd ever have thought possible, and I want to marry you, but you have to know I'm pregnant.” She waited for his reaction, but the one she expected wasn't the one she got.

He kissed her soundly.

“You'll make a wonderful mother, and I intend to be an excellent dad. We wanted children. I don't want to waste another minute of my life without you.”

“It might not be yours,” she whispered hesitantly.

He shrugged. “So what? It'll definitely be yours, and I'll love it as much as I love you.”

He reached for her hand and slipped the ring onto her finger. “We'll talk later. My twenty minutes are up for now, but we've got the rest of our lives.” His mouth claimed hers, and Faye sighed, letting his love wash over her.

(From
On His Watch
by Susanne Matthews)

“You've grown at least three inches taller this summer. Grandma won't recognize you when she sees you at Christmas.” Nikki Hart smiled down at her daughter, Mandy, all arms and legs, reminding her of a new foal who had yet to adjust to its body. She pulled the pink princess nightgown over the child's head. The sleeves didn't reach her wrists.
Something else she's outgrown. Sam's not going to like this, but what can I do?

She was starting kindergarten tomorrow! The family had moved to Larosa, California, almost six months ago. Where had the time gone? Mandy's shoulder-length, sun-bleached tresses gleamed in the soft bedroom light, their strawberry scent filling the room with freshness. Since she'd turned five two weeks ago, her daughter had grown an independent streak a mile long; if anyone tried to take away the strawberry-scented shampoo and body wash named after her favorite doll, they'd be in for a battle. She might have given up her blanket, but some things were sacrosanct.

“I'm older now. I'm supposed to get bigger,” Mandy replied seriously, staring at her with her father's dark brown eyes. She reached out and patted Nikki's belly. “I'm going to be a big sister, not just a little one. Daddy said only babies are afraid of the dark. I'm not a baby. I can do this.”

Mandy took a deep breath and stared down at the child-size sleeping bag on the guest room floor beside the bed covered with a navy and white handmade quilt.

“Are you sure you want to do this tonight? There isn't any hurry. You have a big day tomorrow.”

The stubborn set of her daughter's shoulders was all the answer she needed. With her arms crossed over her chest, she looked so much like her father in one of his moods, Nikki couldn't help but laugh. She shook her head.

“Do you have everything you need?”

Mandy nodded and crawled into the sleeping bag, pulling her doll in beside her and picking up the flashlight she'd set on the pillow earlier. “I have the big flashlight and Benji.” She indicated the baby doll.

“Tell me when you're ready, and I'll push you under the bed. I still don't understand why you have to sleep under
this
bed.”

“Because it's the darkest place in the house, Mommy. I checked everywhere, even the basement. There are too many spiders and yucky bugs down there. I don't want Lily, Megan, and Sally to think I'm a baby. That's why I have to practice, so I won't be scared.”

I should have guessed. Only the power of a sleepover invitation could have pushed her out of her comfort zone.
Nikki could empathize. At thirty-eight, she was still uncomfortable in dark, unfamiliar places. Maybe such fears were hereditary.

“You'll be fine, sweetie. I doubt Lily's living room will be completely dark anyway, and you won't be alone.”

“Joey says the puppies can leave their mother soon. Please can you ask Daddy again if we can have one? Joey says it'll be free. I wouldn't need any other birthday presents—not even a party. Danny and I will take care of it, I promise. Daddy isn't home much. We could keep the puppy out of his way.”

Nikki shook her head. “You know, honey, just because you want something doesn't mean that you can have it. Even a free puppy is a lot of work . . .” She stopped as the joy faded from her daughter's eyes.

I'm starting to sound like Sam!
Would it really be too much work? Maybe for once, I should put my foot down.

“I know, Mommy.” She sighed deeply. Nikki bent down and gave her daughter a loud, smacking kiss. Maybe the Sheltie pup would stay small.

“Let me talk to Daddy. I'm not promising anything.”

Mandy jumped out of the sleeping bag and showered her face with kisses. “Thank you, thank you, thank you. You're the bestest mommy in the whole world. I'll take really good care of the puppy.”

“I didn't say we'd get one for sure,” Nikki continued, knowing full well she'd advocate for her daughter. “Pleasant dreams. I love you.”

She pushed the sleeping bag full of child under the double bed and dropped the bed skirt.

“'Night, Mommy. Love you, too.”

Nikki smiled and closed the bedroom door. She crossed the hall to the children's bathroom. How could one small girl make such a mess? She took the basket hanging from a hook on the wall and tossed in the dolls and other essentials Mandy needed to take a bath. She hung the forest-green towels on the bar, sprayed and wiped down the tub, and put away the hair dryer, her mind traveling a mile a minute as she worked.

She glanced at the clock on the counter. Eight-fifty. Normally, her husband's clinic closed at eight, but Sam had called earlier and said an emergency had come in. He'd sounded tense, so she suspected the injury must have been a bad one.

Satisfied the children's bathroom was as clean as she could get it, she turned on the nightlight and went down the hall to the master bedroom. She removed her clothes and donned the new royal blue silk lounge pajamas she'd bought last week in Santa Rosa when she'd gone in for her prenatal visit. The baby bump was barely visible beneath the loose, flowing top.

She hadn't gained a lot of weight with this pregnancy, but she was older, and everything seemed a little harder than five years ago when she'd carried Mandy. She was tired a lot of the time—too tired to spend much time on her artwork—but she rested a bit during the day while Mandy and her older brother, Danny, played quietly indoors.

This child, whom they'd tentatively named Kylie Elizabeth, was unexpected, and although Sam had been upset when he'd learned she was pregnant again, he'd slowly come around. He seemed happy about the prospect of another daughter. She smiled.

Sam seemed more relaxed than he'd been since before they'd left San Francisco. He'd let her help decorate the clinic, and she handled the reception on his secretary's day off. They were almost a team again, the way they'd been before they'd married. He worked hard to make the clinic a success and while she admired her husband's skills as a physician, as a father he had a lot to learn.

Could his age have something to do with that? He was welcoming daughters when his friends were welcoming granddaughters. There'd been a few of his colleagues from the hospital at their wedding, but she didn't think she'd ever met a friend of Sam's who wasn't involved with the hospital or the clinic in some way. He didn't golf or fish, and he wasn't much of a sports fan. Before moving to Larosa, he'd spent most of his time at the hospital. Now, he spent his days at the clinic. She couldn't remember the last time he'd taken a weekend off. He needed to spend more time with his kids and get to know them.

She stepped into the adjacent bathroom, brushed her chin-length copper hair, checked it for signs of tell-tale gray, and pushed it behind her ears. One of the perks of being a redhead was her hair would lighten, but not necessarily turn gray. She'd taken a chance, cut a foot off it a few weeks back, and liked it this way. Nikki added a fresh coat of mascara to her hazel eyes and touched up her lipstick. Slight swelling was part and parcel of this pregnancy, and her hands and feet were puffy tonight. When she tried to remove her rings, they wouldn't budge.
I'll take them off in the morning and have Sam put the diamond in the safe until the baby comes
. As an afterthought, she spritzed the air with her favorite perfume and walked through the mist. If Sam wasn't too tired, maybe they could talk about getting away as a family for a few days next month, maybe plan a visit to the San Francisco Zoo over the Columbus Day Weekend. There was a new baby orangutan the kids would love to see.

The sound of breaking glass coming from downstairs shattered the stillness. Nikki tensed. Had the sound come from the kitchen? Had she left a window open? She'd shut the bedroom window a few moments ago because the wind had picked up and its whistling sound bothered her. Could it have knocked over the crystal vase of roses Sam had sent her this morning? Perhaps Mrs. Olsen's tabby had jumped in the window and knocked the vase over. The cat had been a regular visitor when the previous owners had lived here, and he saw no reason to curtail his visits. She'd almost had a heart attack the last time he entered, bringing her a gift—a dead mouse—and Danny had laughed himself silly at “Mommy's girliness.” Sam, not an animal lover, had threatened to poison the animal if it came into the house again. If the cat had broken the vase, its days were numbered.

Or what if someone was in the house? She'd noticed a lot of strangers in town, some looking more unkempt than others. There were plenty of family campers, but every now and then, she'd seen so-called gold prospectors combing the Larosa hills. Trudy, Mandy's best friend Lily's mother, had said they were harmless but to a girl like Nikki from San Francisco, dirty, half-starved men meant trouble. They could easily be junkies desperately needing a fix.

She took a deep breath. She didn't hear any other suspicious sounds. As Sam would say, she was letting her imagination run wild. Most likely it was one of Larosa's minor quakes that had caused a glass to slip off the table. Just a few miles off the San Andreas Fault, the town was constantly trembling. She barely noticed the Earth's slight shaking anymore.

Even though she'd convinced herself nothing was amiss, Nikki tiptoed to the guest room, got down on all fours, and peeked under the bed. Mandy was asleep. The child slept like the dead once she was out. Nikki reached for the flashlight, turned it off, and used the bed to leverage her body upright again.

She picked up the cell phone she'd left on the dresser earlier, made sure it was on in case Sam called, and dropped it into the right pocket of her pajama top. Carrying the flashlight, she slipped out of the room, closing the door softly behind her.

Maybe getting a dog's a good idea. It would keep the damn cat out of the house.

Nikki stood still in the hallway and listened. The only thing she could hear was the sound of the television in the den. Someone was buying a vowel.

She reached Danny's room and opened the door. When she saw his bed was empty, she relaxed and shook her head in resignation. As much as it annoyed her to admit it, this time Sam was right. Her imagination did tend to look for boogeymen where there weren't any. Clearly her eight-year-old and his bottomless pit of a stomach had decided to have another bedtime snack. No doubt he was the culprit. She left the room and placed the flashlight on the hall table where it usually sat in case of a power outage.

“What did you break this time?” she called as she headed down the stairs. “I swear, you're like a bull in a china shop.”

The sound of the garage door opening indicated Sam's arrival. Although the clinic was nearby, since he carried major opiate drugs back and forth, Sam always took his car to work. He'd enter the house through the garage, leaving his lab coat and shoes out there and washing his hands at the sink he'd had installed for that purpose.

“Let's get this cleaned up before your father comes in.” She turned the corner into the kitchen and stopped cold.

The fridge door was open, the pitcher of orange juice shattered on the floor beside what was left of her crystal vase full of roses, the red petals vanishing in her son's blood. So much blood! Danny lay there, his head at an awkward angle, his eyes open, looking into the face of death. A scream froze in her throat as arms grabbed her from behind, and the sting of the knife bit into her upper back.

Her upper body was on fire.
Danny! Mandy!
She swallowed her cries and slid to the floor, trying to stop herself from placing the full weight of her body on her abdomen, her right hand slipping into her pocket and silently pressing nine-one-one on the phone. She kept her hand over the small screen to hide its glow. Breathing was agonizing.