The Willing (5 page)

He put Micah down on the floor, which
delighted my son to no end as he crawled after Sita. She darted
away.

I stayed silent, just watching Micah
crawl across the floor and stop to play with a toy. If Luka was so
cock-ready to honor the Bond even after what he knew about me,
about Brooke, and about himself, then let him. I would chase after
no man, especially not one so scared of the Lycanthrope. I had seen
Josh rebel against them and remained unpunished; the Lycanti could
and did defy the authority of the Lycanthrope and live. I knew that
now.

“When do we leave?” I asked,
redirecting my attention to him after swearing myself away from
asking about his unhappiness again.

“Soon,” he replied lowly. “Very soon.
You have your passport?”

“Of course.”

“Then I’ll book the flight tonight when
I get home.” He smiled fully then, and I saw a glimpse of the old,
less-tortured Luka. “Coach okay for you?” he asked
mischievously.

I quirked an eyebrow at his
playfulness. “Coach? Broke lately, Luka? Not enough halflings
running around in the woods for the Lycanthrope to pay you
decently? Should I sell some of my clothes to pay for my ticket? We
could always have a garage sale.”

He chuckled. “Well, you know how much
baby formula sells for these days. We could probably hawk Micah’s
and make a pretty penny.”

“Oh?” I asked noncommittally. I
gestured toward Micah. “And what would my son eat, pray
tell?”

His smile never wavered. “You did say
he loves Rachel.”

I laughed. “I don’t think she’s quite
his taste. She’s lactose intolerant.”

“Oh,” he said knowingly. “You’re
right—not enough calcium. And I don’t want him to get spoiled by
such easily-caught dinner—her being knock-kneed and
all.”

“Slightly crooked,” I growled
playfully.

He shrugged. “Whichever. She would
probably still taste like soy.” He made a face and I laughed. “No
Lycanthrope in history has ever been a vegetarian—not a good time
to start. It’d probably mean civil war.”

“You’re insane,” I said, completely
smitten and amused by him again.

“Yes, I know, but you like
it.”

I nodded. “I must say that I prefer you
like this.”

He smiled gently, sadly almost. “I will
try harder in Mexico, Emily. The longer I am with you, the easier
it is to remember my old self. It is hard to be happy without your
best friend around.”

“That’s good,” I said, trying to keep
his mind off Will. “I had worried that it was your old age making
you forget your old self,” I quipped. “It just creeps up on you
like that, you know. First you’re forgetting yourself, then gumming
your food, then wearing diapers and speaking in one syllable
words.”

He grinned. “Well at least Micah and I
will have something to talk about.”

I laughed at the image and hugged him.
He seemed surprised, but did not push me away. His arms came around
me and his body felt completely relaxed against mine. Only his
tight grip betrayed his waning composure.

“I missed you,” I said into the folds
of his shirt.

He kissed my hair. Something dropped in
my stomach.

“Me, too, Em. Me, too.”

We stayed locked to each other for some
time, but nothing happened, I swear. We needed that moment of
absolute forgiveness. That easiness had to be reestablished between
us so that Mexico, and thereby the Lycanthrope, would not break us
apart. Tomorrow we would go united to face them, and Luka would
protect and vouch for me. Everything would go as planned for me.
Nothing could stop it now.

The Lycanti

Shame crept over me later that day. I
watched as the others buried the bones, wiped their faces and hands
of the blood, and lounged in complete satiation. Josh walked among
them, laughing and teasing, lighthearted and proud of the
successful slaughter of the caged humans. He stopped and chatted
briefly with Layla and Xavier; Sam’s face went completely white,
but I was so caught up in my memories of earlier that I did not
bother to listen to their conversation.

He finally approached me with no notice
of my snarled emotions. He was too enraptured in his own. “We are
traveling tomorrow, Emily,” he said with a smile. “Today we’ll
rest, but tomorrow we’ll be running the whole way.”

Curiosity instantly gripped me, but I
remained silent. I had not forgotten the slap.

He continued with noting my sullenness.
Instead, his eyes drifted to fantasy as he spoke. “To Alaska. The
beautiful, remote state where we can hunt freely and no one will be
missed, because life is dangerous anyway and stray people are lost
all the time.”

A jolt of adrenaline and fear shot
through me. He seemed to notice me for the first time as his eyes
took in my surprise.

He smiled, all teeth visible. “And if
you are thinking of running away, don’t. I will kill you.” The
pause between his words was almost indiscernible. “Now come with
me. I need you.”

The mass of emotions that assaulted me
ultimately lost to his powerful voice. I wanted to run, I wanted to
cry, I wanted to laugh madly at the cannibalistic ritual I had
partaken of and the madman who was its orchestrator, I wanted to
throw up.

But most of all, I wanted to be wanted.
The insecurity of being a Lycanti in a human world never left my
mind; I would never survive on my own.

And he wanted me, so like once before,
I followed him deep into the woods. His first kiss was gentle, a
mockery of the savagery he displayed earlier that day. His fingers
ran down my spine and the vision of his claws, outstretched and
slashing, crammed its way into my mind. Revulsion rose up in me,
bile mixed with the hot blood from earlier. I pushed him away,
suddenly desperate to be rid of the images and taste in my mind and
mouth.

I did not even get to leave his grip.
No matter how hard I pushed, he pulled me back to him, shoving his
tongue into my mouth and making the heat build in my body by
slipping his fingers between my thighs and dancing his finger in
circles on my clit. My body opened to him, legs parting willingly
to his rough but wonderful hands. The visions of blood left my
mind, and suddenly my body was shivering with pleasure.

His mouth finally left mine, allowing
me to catch a breath as he traveled down my ribcage, paused for a
moment to nip my bellybutton, then plunged his head between my
legs. His tongue massaged the tender flesh in a constant motion
that brought me towards climax, and suddenly I felt his fingers
join in the battle for my body’s obedience. His middle finger
paused at the entrance to my core, stroking the sides easily and
making me arch towards him. When he finally shoved his finger in,
almost viciously, I cried out—whether in joy or pain, I could not
answer. I looked down to see him cradled between my legs and his
gaze burned back into mine, those blue orbs practically devouring
me.

I was on the verge of begging for him
when he flipped me over into the dirt. I pulled myself up onto my
elbows, ready for him to enter me. Then, I felt the unexpected
tongue lap at the juices running down my leg and flicker in and out
of my pussy. I cried out, rocking back and forth to allow his
tongue to mimic the thrusting motion of a cock entering me
repeatedly.

With my knees digging into the dirt,
the warm rich scent of coastal autumn all around me, I let out a
yowl of beautiful agony. Obviously pleased with his work, he
mounted me directly after my coming and with his hands yanking back
my shoulders and hair towards him, fucked me so hard that choked
sobs suddenly found their way out of my throat. His grunt of
pleasure did not come quickly, and with each thrust I felt like my
womb was being ripped open for all the world to use.

After finishing, he unceremoniously
pushed me away from him. My tears mixed with the dirt, and I
wondered if I was now a part of Washington state’s history. His
feet materialized silently in front of me, and I looked up, gaze
traveling up in his legs, past that which had just given me such
pain, and into his scorching eyes.

His words came out hard. “You will come
back to the pack. You will eat when I tell you to eat, sleep when I
tell you to sleep, and fuck when I tell you to fuck. Most of all,
you will travel when and where I tell you to go.” He breathed
deeply, cornering me with his eyes as I fought to the breath to say
something. “You are mine, Emily. Just as Sam was. And now Sam is
dead, killed by the others I own. Keep that in mind.”

As he walked away, I knew that
everything he said had been true. And I fleetingly recalled that it
was Sam who had tried to get one of the humans away by snarling
deeply at one of his pack mates—me—and swiping at my face. We had
killed the human anyway, but Sam’s betrayal to the pack obviously
did not go unnoticed.

I wondered what other parameters of
punishment Josh meted out.

Sometime later, we were extremely close
to Alaska. I soon found iout that Josh’s pack was tightly
organized. We acquired several new members as we traveled north,
and at each stop, there were more cages of humans. Sometimes there
were only two, but it was enough to make me cringe and remember the
horror of the first slaughter.

The nights grew colder, and that night
I yawned at the back of my throat. I had never been this tired. I
was not stupid; I knew the signs of pregnancy. I missed the energy
provided by my werewolf form. Before you ask, no, I had no idea at
that time whose baby it was. I did not tell the pack. Josh had
cooled towards me in the past few days when I refused to hunt
another human. Sam’s face haunted me, but for some reason Josh let
me live. He would have been apt to let me starve or let the pack
kill me, I believe, had I proved less of a sexual amusement for
him. I will admit that I tried my best to keep him interested in
order to spare my life. Whether or not he was pleased with my
sexual favors, he reluctantly indulged me and let me hunt small
game. He especially loved to laugh at me when I hunted as a human,
my reflexes slow and clumsy. Until I discovered I was pregnant, I
let his humiliation fuel my Change so I could hunt
confidently.

Still, I was terrified to go to a
doctor because of, well, myself and the possibility of an
unexpected Change. I had no idea how far along I was. But I seemed
to drag all the time now. I tried to stay as calm as possible. How
was I to know what the Change could do to my baby? My eyelids
drooped even though I wasn’t ready for sleep.

Sparks from the fire jarred me a little
more awake. The nights were becoming monotonous; a never-ending
cycle of sitting around fires, running through the woods marveling
at our own stamina, and hunting a stray human every few days or so
while the pack laughed at my ill disposition for this life. One of
the females who paid me no attention sat to my right, and one of
the males to my left. They would often lean forward to talk over me
as if I didn’t exist. The glowing sets of eyes from the naked,
lounging Lycanti across from me looked like fireflies filled with
food dye, enhanced by the heat of the flames. Josh’s blue ones
burned into me from across the blaze. They had just finished
hunting, and I could smell the blood and contentment on them. The
night was cold, but my body temperature had risen with the
pregnancy. I could easily tolerate the cold. Despite my fatigue, I
felt stronger than ever. Over the last few days, I had felt almost
free, especially since Josh had not sought me out sexually. From
what I could tell, he took his pleasure with Layla. No jealousy
carried me forward now; she could have that monster. I thought of
survival and little else at this point.

Josh stalked over to me, lithe and
unconcerned about his naked body edging so close to me. The two
Lycanti beside me slid over to give him some space should he choose
to sit. He massaged my shoulders.

“Yes?” I asked, drawing slightly away
from him. I, too, sat in my skin even though I had no desire to. I
was already a disregarded stranger to them; I had no desire to be
an enemy. But I had covered myself with a jacket I carried no
matter Changed or not. I could not subscribe to their ways. It was
nice to have some sort of protection from the world in the form of
this pack, but I still held onto the something that made me human,
emotionally and physically.

“Is that any way to react to your pack
leader?” he asked with a light tease to his voice.

“No,” I agreed. My tone practically
dismissed him. “But then you are not my leader.”

His face changed to the frown I had
learned to avoid lately. “I am your master.”

“Lycanti have Lycanthrope masters. You
are nothing to me,” I said with no emphasis. I was tired and
hormonal. This, for me, equates to giving him nothing but the
truth.

He jerked me up. I thought my arm had
been ripped from the socket.

“Say that again,” he snarled. “Let
everyone hear the declaration of your disloyalty.”

They had all heard me the first time.
Their sensitive ears could have heard me two miles away. There was
no need for me to repeat the words when they were only two feet
away.