The Women of Duck Commander (10 page)

WHAT A TEAM!

A Message from the Daughters-in-Law

Sometimes people who have been married as long as Phil and Miss Kay reach a point where they lead comfortable but somewhat separate lives. This is definitely not true for Phil and Miss Kay. Although they are not “joined at the hip,” and they do not do everything together every day (Miss Kay would not want to spend that much time in a duck blind), they have a great relationship and an exceptionally strong marriage. They know how to work together, play together, serve God together, and love our family together. They are both strong, gifted individuals, and they make a terrific team.

Jessica:
W
HO
C
OULD
A
SK FOR
A
NYTHING
M
ORE
?

Growing up, my mother got along very well with my father’s parents, and my father got along very well with hers. They both loved
each other’s families and enjoyed spending time with them. We spent many summers as a family at my dad’s parents’ fishing camp and many weekends and holidays during fall and winter hunting seasons at my mom’s parents’ hunting camp. Sometimes, both sets of grandparents ended up at the hunting camp, and all of us had a great time together.

People sometimes tell horror stories about their in-laws, but I never saw anything other than love and respect in my biological family, so when I married Jep, I expected to have great relationships with Phil and Miss Kay, and that’s exactly what has happened.

I don’t think anyone could ask for better in-laws than Phil and Miss Kay; they are everything I could have dreamed of, and I feel so blessed to have them. When Jep and I were first dating, I was going through a lot in my life, and they showed me love and forgiveness. Kay has so much love in her heart, and Phil is one of the wisest men I know.

I love the relationship Miss Kay and Phil have with each other. She respects and adores him. When Phil looks at Miss Kay or speaks to her, you can see in his eyes and hear in his voice that he thinks she is the best wife in the entire world. What I have observed since becoming part of the Robertson family is that Miss Kay has always taken care of Phil, and he has loved and cherished her. Even after many years together, they still laugh, they still love, and they still hug and kiss each other (even in front of the family and other people). Miss Kay still crawls into Phil’s lap while he sits in his big recliner, and
when he walks close to her, he tickles her or gives her a pinch on the rear end.

Miss Kay and Phil have an amazing love for God and for people. They believe not only in giving second chances but also in giving third and fourth chances. When they need a little extra work done on their property, they often hire people who need help and try to help them as best they can. They spend hours and hours, several nights a week, counseling people and sharing their wisdom with them. If Jep and I can do even half of the good things Phil and Miss Kay have done, we will consider ourselves to have truly succeeded and made a difference in the world.

Missy:
A T
EAM OF
S
ERVANTS

Phil and Miss Kay are definitely not typical in-laws. So many good qualities set Phil and Miss Kay apart from other people, but I think their best quality as a couple is their teamwork in serving others. They host many people in their home; they have always done this. Many of these people need wisdom, advice, salvation, or simply the knowledge that someone really cares about them.

Miss Kay used to cook all the meals and Phil used to do all the preaching and counseling. Over the years, they have realized that both of them have both of those strengths. Now Miss Kay and Phil both do the cooking, and they both sit down after the meal to talk with people, whether they are counseling a couple in a marriage crisis or sharing the message of Jesus with someone. They have grown together over the years and have recognized
and embraced each other’s strengths. This makes for a strong and godly marriage.

Korie:
T
HEY
J
UST
K
EEP ON
L
OVING

Anyone who knows Miss Kay and Phil would have to say they are some of the most hospitable people anyone could ever find, anywhere. When I first met them, they did not have much money, but their home was always open. They lived in the same house they currently live in, but it was about half the size it is now. The kitchen was incredibly small, with no dishwasher, but that did not stop them from having guests regularly. They cooked huge, delicious meals out of that tiny kitchen, and everyone just gathered around standing or sitting on every available surface to enjoy the meal and laugh and talk together. They understood the true value of good conversation, good friends, good food, and family togetherness. Those things mattered more to them than anything else.

It’s important to understand that the warm, fun, loving environment Miss Kay and Phil have created in their home did not happen automatically. In fact, it was years in the making. Miss Kay forgave Phil when a lot of people thought she had good reason not to, and she loved him when he was unlovable. The same dynamic happened to him that often happens when we truly understand that God forgives us and loves us when we are unlovable: it makes us want to do better and to be better. Miss Kay offered this to Phil, and he has done the same for her.

I’m sure there were times after Phil came to Christ that he still messed up, when he still sinned and fell short. Miss Kay had to forgive him, not just that one moment when he showed up outside her workplace begging her forgiveness, but many, many times after that. Forgiveness has to be offered over and over again in any marriage, and that was certainly true for Miss Kay and Phil. As in any husband-wife relationship, each person sometimes has to be the one who needs forgiving and sometimes has to be the one who does the forgiving.

Miss Kay showed God’s love to Phil through her love and forgiveness, and he “got” it. Phil truly changed his life, and not just a little bit. He’s not a lukewarm Christian by any means. He turned his life around totally and completely, and he now uses the gifts and talents God gave him for God’s purposes rather than for his own selfish desires.

Now, with their most difficult years far behind them, Phil and Miss Kay show love continuously. They are playful with each other and laugh together all the time. They have weathered a lot of storms in their life together and are being rewarded for their faithfulness with a great marriage. It’s so exciting for us to watch this couple who have been together for nearly fifty years continue to grow in their love for each other.

At any point either one of them could have given up. Had they done that, the rest of us would not be here today. People would not be watching our family on television, and lots of lives would have never been touched—not by us, at least. I know God is raising up others to do His work and touch many people, but I am proud that for this moment, for this time, He is using our family, and we will
not take that for granted. We are grateful for the difficult choices Phil and Miss Kay made so we could all enjoy the close family and the good lives we have now.

Lisa:
S
O IN
L
OVE

Miss Kay and Phil know the pain I caused their son (more about that later), and they still chose to support us as a couple and chose to love and care for me. They have helped Alan and me in every way they possibly could through the years, whether that involved babysitting (Kay was the babysitter; Phil was the one who got credit for it on
Duck Dynasty
), financial support, or sharing their wisdom with us. Alan played an important role in the Duck Commander business during its early years, and they give him a lot of credit for that. This makes me proud for him and proud of him.

Miss Kay has always done a lot around the house for Phil. She has such a giving heart and is a natural caretaker, so she keeps an eye out for anything he needs or wants, and she accommodates him whenever possible. She is not one to grumble or complain about anything. She is a model of commitment, as everyone knows. She likes to bless other people, starting with Phil.

Miss Kay is also respectful by nature. The respect with which she treats Phil made a deep impression on me when I first got to know them and continues to impress me today. One simple way
Miss Kay demonstrates respect for Phil is to keep in touch with him if she changes her plans throughout the day. She respects the fact that he needs to know where she is in case he should need to reach her for some really important reason (like asking her to stop at the store to pick up snuff). Especially if her schedule changes or if she is running late, she gives him a quick call and keeps him up-to-date on where she is. That’s the kind of communication that keeps a relationship running smoothly. On top of all the good things Miss Kay does for Phil, she is totally, completely head over heels in love with him, as he is with her!

I know that Christ lives in Miss Kay and Phil, and they pattern their lives after His teachings. They truly practice what they preach. Together, they impact a lot of people in the most positive ways. Phil has a straightforward, up-front personality, while Miss Kay is understanding and comforting. That’s a great combination. When the two of them counsel people who need help or guidance, especially couples who are struggling in their marriages, the people they help leave believing they can conquer the world together.

11

PASSING IT ON

A Message from the Daughters-in-Law

Miss Kay and Phil are terrific grandparents to our children. We are always glad when the children—whether they are very young or whether they are young adults—can be with them because they always learn something valuable and because they come away knowing they are loved in very special ways. Miss Kay and Phil have established a powerful legacy of love and faith from which all of our children can benefit. They have so many good qualities to pass on to their grandchildren, and we look forward to seeing how these qualities manifest in their lives in the future.

Lisa:
G
REAT
R
ELATIONSHIPS

My children are grown, but my daughters have a great relationship with Miss Kay and Phil. In fact, Miss Kay is both of my girls’ best
friend. Both Anna and Alex have kind, loving, gentle hearts, and I know they learned these qualities from Miss Kay. I was not always the mother I needed to be for my children, but Miss Kay took up the slack, and they are awesome women today because of her.

Both girls have spent a lot of time with Miss Kay and Phil over the years. Anna started working for Miss Kay as a teenager, and although she now works full-time at Duck Commander, she also does special projects for Miss Kay and travels with her as much as possible. When asked about her relationship with Kay, Anna says, “I have been close to Mamaw Kay all my life, but even more so since I started working for her when I was fourteen or fifteen. Some people have grandmas they cannot open up to, but I can talk about
everything
with Mamaw Kay. I always turn to her when I need someone to talk to, and she gives really good advice. She knows about so many things because she has been there; she has lived it. And I can trust her. If I need to talk to her about something I do not want her to share, she will
not
tell it.

“Plus, Mamaw Kay is great when it comes to fashion. She knows what’s in style and stays up on trends, and I like that about her. But most of all, I have noticed in my life that some grandparents are quick to say ‘I love you,’ but they do not always do much to show it. With Mamaw Kay, I have always felt loved, and I know I always will. Every time we get together, when it’s time to go, we give each other a big hug and say, ‘I love you!’ I know Mamaw Kay really means those words when she says them to me, and I really mean them when I say them to her.”