The XXX Files Season Two (Episodes 5-8) (14 page)

“That’s exactly what I’m planning.”
 

“Why on earth would you do that?” Courtney said. “We’ve done our job. He’s in the cave. Trapped with nowhere to go. Now we’re supposed to call for backup and let someone more experienced take it from here.”
 

Brad shook his head. “You would be 100 percent right if you weren’t 100 percent wrong.” He pointed toward the cave’s pitch black interior. “Our trail is dead. We
think
he’s in there, but we actually have no idea. What if we call in the trapper, waste all that time waiting for him to get here, and end up being wrong? We both know what Sasquatch rape looks like. That hairy motherfucker is BIG, we could see it from the branches. You really want that on your hands?”

“No,” Courtney shook her head, shivering. “I don’t.”
 

“Well then, I don’t really see that we have much of a choice.” You stay here in case he comes running out from the cave. Have your gun ready and don’t hesitate to pull that trigger. I’ll go inside and see what I can see.”
 

Courtney wrinkled her nose, seeming to consider Brad’s insanity, then said, “I’m not sure. You’ve never caught a Bigfoot before.”
 

“Are you kidding?” Brad said. “I’ve caught two Bigfoots before, one of them single-handed.” Courtney raised her eyebrows. “Remember Jethro?”
 

She laughed. Intentionally or not, Jethro was quite an amusing Sasquatch. “Of course.”
 

“Who do you think caught him?”
 

“Oh,” Courtney said, seemingly surprised. “I didn’t know. You never told me that.”
 

“Well,” Brad shrugged and smiled, “I didn’t want to brag. But you should’ve seen it, I was awesome.”
 

“Still,” Courtney insisted. “You could go in there and never come out. I don’t like that at all.”
 

“It’s part of the job.” He paused through a beat then added, “Have you ever caught a Bigfoot, or brought one down yourself?”
 

She shook her head. “No, but I’ve read every doc we have on file, and know we can negotiate with them peacefully if we wait it out. He’s probably just in there jacking off a few times. We could wait and negotiate once he’s finished.”

“Or he might return to Inferno.”
 

“Fuck,” Courtney said. Brad could tell she knew he was right.
 

“Fine,” she finally agreed, then, as if she regretted it the second she said it added, “Wait!”
 

Brad turned back to Courtney, standing half in and half out of the cave, his tranq gun hovering just above his waist. “Why don’t we at least try to reason with him, maybe draw him out with food or conversation? We could tell him the lacrosse team is out here naked. That ought to bring him out.” Her eyes looked scared. “I just don’t want you marching in there without knowing what you’re marching into. Think about it, Brad, what if you were an 8-foot tall hairy monster giving yourself the old rosy palms and someone came up behind you — wouldn’t you tear their fucking head off?”
 

“Yeah,” Brad nodded, realizing he would. “But I’d be a helluva lot more pissed if you told me there was a naked lacrosse team and there wasn’t. That might be the worst idea you’ve ever had.”
 

“Thanks.”
 

“No problem.”
 

Courtney said, “So, can we try it my way?”
 

“Sure,” Brad agreed, then took a long step back from the cave.
 

Courtney took his place, dropped to her knee, then cupped her hands around her mouth. Brad tried not to think about pulling out his cock and shoving it between her perfectly pouted lips. She called into the cave, “I know you’re in there!”
 

At first there was no answer, but then Courtney repeated her call, and the Sasquatch answered, “No I’m not!”
 

Brad held his hand over his mouth to muffle his laugh. It never ceased to amaze him how stupid the Sasquatch were as a species.
 

Courtney softly yelled. “What’s your name?”
 

After a long pause — Brad wondered whether it was because he was still trying to pretend like he wasn’t inside the cave, or because he was trying to remember his name — the Bigfoot said, “My name Maurice Number One.”
 

“Is there a Maurice Number Two?” Courtney asked.
 

After another long pause, this one almost three minutes, Maurice said, “No.”
 

“Listen,” Courtney called, her voice still pleasant, “we have to take you back to the sanctuary. You’ve wandered too far, you’re hundreds of miles away, and people are spotting you. You know we can’t have people knowing the Sasquatch are real, don’t you? They’ll start hunting you and you’ll all go bye-bye. You don’t want that, do you?”

Maurice said, “I don’t wanna go home, I like lookin’ at the purty girls.”

Courtney reassured him: “There are plenty of pretty girls in Canada!”
 

“No, there aren’t,” Brad joked. “I mean, they’re not as hot as American coeds. You’ve gotta give the Bigfoot props for at least having taste and knowing what he wants.”

“Would you shut up?” Courtney whispered, then turned from Brad and shouted into the cave. “We have pizza and beer.”
 

Another minute passed, then Maurice asked what sort of toppings were on the pizza. Courtney told him he could have whatever toppings he wanted. Then he asked if that meant he could have cat on his pizza, and even though she had to wrinkle her nose, Courtney agreed that, yes, he could definitely have cat on his pizza if that was really what he wanted. When Maurice started asking about the beer, wanting to know if it was the kind that came with extra bubbles and tickled his nose, Brad got impatient.
 

“Come on, Maurice,” he yelled, stepping back in front of Courtney and screaming into the cave. “We all know how this is gonna end. We’re gonna tranq you, and you’re gonna get sleepy and wake up back home in the reserve — Canada hello, America adios. So let’s just get this over with now so we can all get on with our day. Some of us have non-Bigfoot things to do.”

He growled, “No! Maurice don’t wanna go home!”
 

Brad said, “Fuck this shit,” then steadied his gun and stepped into the cave. He turned back to Courtney, his face half draped in the cave’s darkness. “We tried it your way, diplomatically and crap, now we try it the right way.”

“The right way?”

“Watch and learn,” Brad smiled, then turned and quietly marched into the cave’s depths.

Courtney’s heart sped to a pounding thud as she stared at the entrance, swallowed in black, waiting for something to happen and wondering if she should follow her partner inside. It seemed like a forever — at least long enough to have gathered another couple of answers from Maurice — before Courtney heard a deafening roar, so loud it rattled the branches above her and sent several leaves sailing to her feet. A second later, Brad screamed.
 

Without thinking, Courtney charged into the cave, certain something had happened to Brad, and hoping it wasn’t anything so bad that it would strip her life of true love.
 

Just a few feet into the cave she saw the shadowy figure of Maurice carrying the shadowy figure of Brad over her shoulder. Her heart continued to thud thudding, hoping her partner in work and life was OK. She backed out of the cave, tranq gun held in front of her, just high enough to keep it from showing as the obvious threat that it was.
 

The Bigfoot smiled.
 

“He tried to shoot Maurice, but he shot himself in the leg.” His giant smile turned into a booming laugh that hung in the air like a fog.

Courtney raised her gun, aimed it at Maurice, then said, “Put him down — gently.”

The Bigfoot set Brad on the floor, with his head leaning against a rock, then turned to Courtney, still smiling, and asked, “Where is my cat pizza and fizzy beer?”
 

XXX

CHAPTER 5 — Brad Hammer

Brad slowly opened his eyes and looked around, surprised to find himself back home, his mind so groggy he had a hard time piecing together what had happened before. There were too many things floating along the surface of his mind. Most made little sense, at least in their present order, and harbored too few connections between them.
 

He saw a forest and Courtney flat on a mattress as he pounded behind her; early morning drinking and a missed flight; Willow ... and a Bigfoot?

Suddenly, like sun rising in the sky, Brad remembered everything, except the last minute or so after creeping into the cave. He definitely had no idea how in the fuck he got home back in his bed. “What the fuck?” he mostly whispered, rubbing his temples, thoroughly confused.

Courtney came into the bedroom, laughing and looking as bright as the sky.
 

“Hey there, Bigfoot Hunter,” she laughed louder. “Welcome to the land of the living.”
 

“What happened?”
 

“Well, while you were showing me ‘the right way to do it’ you accidentally shot yourself instead of the Sasquatch. Maurice had to carry you through the forest. He was extremely helpful, though I did have to keep escalating my promises to feed him.”

“Did you actually have to put cat on a pizza?”
 

Courtney swallowed, her face pained. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
 

“How long have I been out?”
 

“Two and a half days. The flight staff was almost as helpful as Maurice. It was a group effort getting you home.”
 

“I didn’t shoot myself,” Brad said, his pride wounded.
 

“No?” Courtney said, laughing again, softer than the other two times, but from deeper in her gut. “Then maybe you’d like to explain these pictures.”

Courtney produced her cell from nowhere, sat on the bed beside Brad, and started swiping her finger across the screen, flipping through posed photos she’d taken with Brad, passed out, with the Bigfoot.

The first shot showed him wearing lipstick. The second had him lying on his stomach with his ass in the air. Courtney had apparently put a long twig in the middle of his ass cheeks and there was a bird sitting at the top. The third picture had Brad flipped on his back. Maurice was leaning over, pretending to blow him, with a smile so big it looked like Courtney had taught him his first knock-knock joke.
 

There were around a dozen pictures in total — Brad stopped counting only to note that each nudged him deeper into unforgettable humiliation. She stopped at the last one. “This one’s my favorite. The guys at the office are gonna love it! I’m thinking it could be our Christmas card this year.” Courtney practically squealed as she held the phone out , displaying her pride and joy — a picture with Brad’s dick tucked between his legs so deep that only a triangular patch of black hair showed, making it look suspiciously like a big hairy pussy.”
 

“Fuck you,” Brad said.

“You want to fuck me?” Courtney smiled.
 

It didn’t take much to get Brad hard. Courtney’s five words were plenty. She ran her fingers delicately along his dick. “Hey,” she whispered.
 

“Yeah,” he said, getting ready to pounce.
 

“Have you ever gone two days without having sex since the Red Breath?”
 

“Definitely not,” he said. “I’ve not even gone that long without cumming.”
 

“Ha,” she laughed. “What makes you think you didn’t cum?”
 

“What do you mean?” Brad asked, realizing he probably had nasty dreams that had him spewing all over.
 

“You’ve cum several times,” she laughed again. “Once every few hours. You have no idea how much laundry I’ve done. A few of the times,” she leaned in and whispered, “I swallowed your cock at the end so I could catch your cum in my mouth.”
 

Brad attacked her, mashing his mouth against Courtney’s lips for a full minute, pawing her body through the kissing, until he finally pulled away, peeled the shirt from his body and shimmied from the pajama bottoms. Courtney took off her own shirt then Brad slid her skirt past his ankles, then followed the scent of her sticky slit, rubbing her legs as he licked the insides of her thighs on his way to the open valley of her leaking cunt.
 

Courtney was already soaking, and probably had been since taking his load in her mouth earlier that morning — Brad knew she had because he could taste himself on her tongue. He inserted three fingers into her open, hungry hole and clamped his lips on her clit. She grabbed his hair and pushed him into her with a moan so deep it didn’t sound much different from Bigfoot. Courtney’s pussy contracted, and hot spurts of liquid shot onto his fingers as she came, her ass lifting in a rainbow from the mattress.
 

He licked his fingers, lapped the sweet from her slit, then climbed on top of her, deftly flipping her over and ramming his rock hard cock into her sopping hole. She came again immediately — that was twice in a minute — and the clamp of her tight cunt squeezing his cock made him grunt and groan: