Thin Ice (19 page)

Suddenly the blanket is being pulled away from my body and then Dylan is on top of me, straddling my stomach. He bends to kiss me on the lips, which is a distraction because when he starts tickling me, his mouth is muffling my shrieks. I try to block his hands as I squirm underneath him, but he's not budging.

“Okay okay! I give up! Dylan! Ahhh! Stop! Okay I'll get up!”

“That's more like it.” He kisses me again and it lasts for what seems like forever. I get lost in him, like I'm living somebody else's life
.
 
Then
 reality hits, and there he is, still holding me, still smiling at me. He pulls me up and then on top of him. His arms are holding me close and I tilt my head to look at his face. I try to adjust my bras and when I relieve my skin of some of the pressure, I think about my surgery and how nice it’ll be to not sleep with three bras on.

“Merry Christmas Dylan.”

“Merry Christmas beautiful. I love you.”

“I love you too. More than I ever thought was possible.” I lay my head on his chest and come to an easy conclusion that I voice out loud. “This is the best Christmas ever.”

“Funny
,
 I was thinking the exact same thing.” He kisses my forehead as the smell of pancakes makes its way in to his room, and we decide to get up to go spend the holiday with his parents.

When we go into the kitchen, I see Dylan’s mom in front of the stove, while his dad is drinking coffee, lea
n
ing on the countertop next to where she's cooking. When he spots us his grin reaches his eyes. “Merry Christmas bums! Do you see what time it is?! I was about to come in there and wake you
two
 up.”

I laugh as Dylan goes to hug his dad and replies “Merry Christmas to you too dad. Blame miss sleepy
head
over here.” He smiles over at me before hugging his mom. I follow suit and hug them both and wish them a Merry Christmas.

        
We sit down at the table and his mom brings over a stack of pancakes shaped like Mickey Mouse.

“Oh my gosh these are awesome Mrs. Rath! I love them!”

“Thanks honey, and I told you, call me Mia!”

“They’re tradition.” Dylan adds. “Mom only makes them for Christmas. I refuse to tell her I’m too old because they’re so good.”

I scoff. “You’re never too old for Disney!”

Everyone starts eating, and I try to enjoy something I haven’t had since I was little. Before I started looking in the mirror and hating what was there. Before I let my toothbrush become my self destructing weapon and before I started hating myself. Before the kids in school used me as a form of entertainment.

I start to feel a little guilty for eating this, but then I look at Dylan who’s biting off Mickey’s ear, and a surge of happiness washes over me. I’m starting to like myself a little more each day. That’s a battle in itself, but it would have never started without him. When he looks over at me and smiles with his mouth full, I burst out laughing. This battle is going to be the hardest one I’ve ever fought. But Dylan helps me believe it’s worth fighting, and even more, one I may be able to win someday.

We finish eating and head over to the tree. His dad throws on the TV and A Christmas Story is on. That’s something we do at my house on Christmas too. It’s a 24 hour marathon and my mom loves quoting the movie all day. We let it play in the background as Dylan makes his way over to the tree. He puts on an elf hat and I giggle while I sit on the couch.

“You’re the tallest elf I’ve ever seen.”

We all laugh as Dylan starts handing out presents. I sit back so I can watch them open presents when he hands me a box wrapped in red and green striped wrapping paper.  The tag says from Mia and Will.

“You guys didn’t have to get me anything!”

“You’re right we didn’t have to
, w
e wanted to! I finally have a girl to shop for. Don’t take this away from me!” Mia says as Dylan laughs. I laugh too while I tear the paper from the box. I run my hand over the dark wood and open the most beautiful art set I’ve ever seen. It’s filled with pencils, pastels, charcoal, paint, brushes, and colored pencils. It takes me a second to take it all in. I glide my hand over the materials and my head starts spinning with all of the things I can create. And then my hand stops at the engraving at the bottom of the wood.
‘For Elli. Love Mia and Will.’

        I look up at them watching me and smile. I go over to Mia first and hug her. Then I go to Dylan’s dad and as we part, I look to both of them and my words get caught in my throat before I finally get out a “Thank You.”

“Your welcome honey.”

“We still have more to open! Come on Dylan, hand em’ out!”

“Dylan give them their present from us!” I say.

He hands them the green present I wrapped yesterday and they open it together. When they open a weekend for two at the Hard Rock, they’re left speechless. I also put in the box two towels, suntan lotion, and sunglasses.

“How in the world? This is too much you two!”

“Dylan told me you’ve been wanting to go there, and I thought this was the perfect excuse, so we booked it.”

We continue giving presents, but Dylan and I are waiting till the end to exchange. Other than the paint set, Mia and Will got me a tote bag with an Edgar Degas painting on it. How they knew he was my favorite artist is beyond me, but I think Dylan and Tegan had something to do with that.  Dylan’s mom also got me a few scarves, some of her favorite books, and a painting to hang in my room with a quote on it. It reads “Courage is not the absence of fear or despair, but the strength to conquer them.” As soon as I get home, it’s going above my bed.

Dylan’s parents got him some guy things. New socks, shirts, hockey accessories like tape and a new pair of gloves. He’s an easy guy to shop for, and I see why Mia had so much fun picking out what they got me.

When it’s finally time to exchange our gifts, his parents excuse themselves from the room and as soon as the
y’re
 gone, Dylan gets up off the floor and sits down next to me. He pulls me to his side and I just look up at him and smile.

“Can I give you yours first? I can’t wait any longer!” I plead.

“Impatient are we? Your wish is my command m’lady. Bring forth th
y
 gift you seek to bestow upon me.”

Shaking my head, I go grab his present from under the tree and hand it to him. There’s two parts. One’s a box and the other is in a bag stuffed with tissue paper.

“You know you really didnt have to get me anything, and you already gave me those tickets.”

“Oh be quiet and open the presents, box first! Besides, the tickets were a combined gift to you and Anderson.”

He starts ripping the paper off the box and the smile that spreads across his face is all I need to
t
ell me I picked well. “No way.” he says.

“Do you like it?”

“Elli! I love it! How the hell did you know I wanted one of these?”

He lifts the GoPro out of it’s box and examines all the parts that came with it.

“I saw that the NHL used them a lot, so I asked Anderson if he thought you would want one and he was all for it. He also mentioned if I got it for you th
at
 he would steal it, so watch your back.”

He kisses me on the lips and when he backs away he says “Thank you Elli. I absolutely love it. Can I try it now?”

“You still have more to open!”

He grabs the bag and starts taking out the tissue paper. Inside is a framed picture. When he pulls it out, his face turns blank and he doesn’t say anything. A minute passes before he looks at me and says “Elli. This is amazing.”

        It’s the picture I drew of him, and it’s completely finished. I added a lot since he last saw it, and I think it’s one of my better drawings. The sweat dripping off of his face made the piece come to life, but his eyes are my favorite part.

“You like it?”

“Like it? Elli
,
 I love this. You’re amazing.” He gives me a kiss on the lips and I smile the whole time.

“You know I’m going to have to hide it from my mom so she doesn’t steal it.”

He puts it back in the bag, puts his arms around my waist and kisses me again. “Thank you. I love it.”

“I wanted to get you more but..”

He cuts me off. “I don't want anything else. Just you.” He kisses me again and then goes to get his present from the tree. It's a small box, unwrapped with a green ribbon on it. He sits down next to me and pulls me into his lap. I always thought I was too big to be able to sit like this, but Dylan makes it look effortless. He moves my hair out of my face and hands me the box. I open it and my heart stops. I try to take it all in, but before I can, Dylan lifts the Pandora charm bracelet out and holds it up for me to see, holding each charm up one by one while explaining their meanings.

“An art palette, because the things you can create are unbelievable; an ice skate for the first time we met; a number 8 because I love seeing my number on you; a star so you always follow your dreams; and a heart that says the first thing that comes to mind every time I look at you.”

He puts the bracelet on my wrist and I stare at each charm. The amount of love I have for this man is unbelievable, and as I sta
r
e at the heart charm that says I love you, I try not to cry. I never thought in a million years anyone could feel this way about me. Then I look into the eyes of the man who changed my mind completely. "It's perfect Dylan. I love it. Thank you." I don't kiss him just yet, but I lay my head on his chest and soak in how fortunate
I
am that this man came into my life and for some reason, decided I was good enough to stay.

Elli

Blackness.

My senses are gone and I don’t have any recollection of where I am.

Suddenly I hear a girls voice and then I’m in excruciating pain. My throat is completely dry and I can’t swallow or speak. Movement is impossible, and suddenly I’m lightheaded.

And then I feel nothing as I drift back into unconsciousness.

When I finally come too
, I see Dylan standing over me, and I feel our hands intertwined. I still can’t move, I can’t speak and my throat is still dry. He smiles at me and I can’t smile back, because I don’t have any control over my muscles.

And then I’m out again.

I turn my head to the side, and see Dylan sleeping in the chair next to my bed. My throat is killing me and I need water in my system. But that’s not what I’m focused on. I look down and see that there’s a lot less to look at. Like, a whole hell of a lot less. I feel something at my sides and as slowly as I can possibly maneuver, I look down my hospital gown and see tubes draining blood on both of my sides. My chest is covered in stitches and just like I knew they would, the stretch marks remained. But I’m okay with that.

I look out the window and see it’s dark out. And then the pain in my throat refuses to be ignored any longer. I don’t want to wake Dylan, but I need to get water down my throat, that has now turned into the Sahara desert. Dylan’s hand is still in mine and
I
 rub circles in his palm with my thumb. When his eyes open, he looks over at me with a giant, sleepy smile.

“Hey beautiful.”

I wish I could answer him. So I eye the water and as soon as he understands, he pours me a cup and holds it so I can take a sip. I down it so fast I need another. I wind up drinking the entire pitcher the nurse brought into my room and Dylan laughs the entire time.

“Better?”

“Much. Thank you.” He kisses my forehead and I add “How long have I been out?”.

“Well you were in surgery, under anesthesia for five hours, and you’ve been out for about four. I’m expecting you to fall back to sleep any minute.”

“I don’t doubt you on that one.” I look over at the small room TV and eye Dylan suspiciously. “Gilmore Girls?”

“Hey, I saw Jared Padalecki and thought it was Supernatural.”

“But you kept it on?”

“Guilty.”

We both laugh, and then he asks me how I feel.

“I’m ok. It’s starting to hurt though.”

“I’ll call the nurse in.
Your
 mom and Dom went home when you got out of surgery. Your dad called a few times to see how you are. I told him you’d call him when you were up to it. They only allow one person to stay overnight with you and I asked your mom if she minded that I stay. She said she wanted to go shopping and get food to cook while she’s here. ”

“I’m glad you stayed Dylan. I don’t know how I feel about you seeing me like this, but I’m really happy I woke up to you.”

“Elli you just went through five hours of surgery. It doesn’t matter what you look like. But for the record you’re always beautiful.”

He takes my hand and kisses it, then gives me a quick kiss on my lips. He calls the nurse in and I tell her I’m starting to feel a lot of pain. She puts something in my IV and not even two minutes later I’m out cold.