Thin Ice (6 page)

“But why?” I ask.

"Elli, all you do is go to school, work and go to the gym. The fact that you're letting someone else besides me into your world makes you scared. You haven’t really been living. You're just going through everyday, just to make it to the next one."

Looking at me with sadness, I wonder if I’m revealing too much. I don’t want her to feel weird around me now.

“Tegan, please don’t treat me any differently.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean don’t look at me like that. I’m not a mental case who needs pity.”

“No, you’re not. You’re a girl who has emotions and feelings and hasn’t had anyone to talk to about them. I can promise you the last thing I’m going to do is treat you like someone who is broken. But I’m sure as hell going to help put you back together.”

I slowly nod my head and throw my arms around her.

“Thank you.”

“You don’t have to thank me Elli. That’s what a best friend is for. Now lets catch some sleep so we don’t have bags under our eyes all day.”

Wiping a stray tear from my eye, I agree and we stay on the couch and fall asleep again.

A few hours later we’re up and decide to stay in our pajamas all day until we go to the game. I called my brother and told him I was going and he said when he comes down and visits he wants me to take him to one. Tegan decided to make egg white omelets for breakfast. I love how she’s not forcing me to eat anything and she’s sticking with our healthy diet.

I’m not thinking too much about my nightmare. I’m now wondering if it was a good idea to open up to Tegan about all my issues. I know in the long run it was, but staying quiet for so long just makes me hesitant on who to let in. Which is why it’s totally crazy that I’m going to the game tonight. I wouldn’t be going if Tegan wasn’t coming with me. I couldn't go through that alone in case anything happened. An ice rink is like my home away from home and I feel comfortable there which helps a lot, but still, these aren’t my brother and his friends. I’m excited to go though. I haven’t been to a game since I got to college.

After taking it easy all day, Tegan and I decide to get ready and as I’m in the shower, I hear her in my closet, probably picking out an outfit for me to wear.

“Elli, do you have anything that actually fits you? And By fits you I mean isn’t two sizes too big?”

“Ummm.”

“That’s it! We're going shopping tomorrow.”

“Ughhh I hate shopping Tegan!”

“No, you hate the way you think you look. You have a killer body El. Yea, you don’t strut around in a bikini, but that's not your style. Stop hiding behind giant tees and sweatshirts.”

“Okay, okay. But what am I going to wear tonight?”

“Hmm, you have skinny jeans right?”

“Yea, in the back of my closet. But last time I checked they don’t fit.”

“I’ll be the judge of that. Put them on.”

Taking the jeans she dug out of my closet, I put them on while I keep my towel fully in tact around me. My jeans go up without having to do that little dance to get into them, and I’m surprised when there is even a little room to spare.

“Perfect! Elli, when was the last time you tried these on?”

“I don’t know. I kind of forgot they were in there until you mentioned it.”

“Then it’s settled. You’ll wear these jeans, your black boots and your black v-neck. I want you to be comfortable.”

“Can I at least bring a zip up? It is an ice rink.”

“Why don’t we run past the school store and we can both get Wolves sweatshirts. We can match!”

Laughing to myself, I agree and I wait for her to get ready as I do my hair. I don’t wear makeup, but I throw a tiny bit of cover up on to make it feel like I actually did something. I spray a tiny bit of perfume on my wrists, and take an extra second to look down at my hands. My fingers in particular. They’re horrid. I can’t help that I pick my skin until I bleed. Half the time I don’t even realize I’m doing it. How can you stop something you don’t realize you’re doing?

Just then, Tegan appears in the doorway. “Ready?!”

“Yep.”

“I’ll drive!”

Just like that we’re off, making a pit stop to buy Wolves hoodies. They’re Dark Blue, and in the middle is the Wolves logo. A wolf, baring its teeth, ripping out of a net, and underneath it says Winter Park Wolves. Tegan grabs the zip up, and I get the pullover. We leave the store and make our way over the the rink. As we find some empty spots on the bleachers, the rink starts filling up with students, faculty and families of the players who live local.

Then the teams come out for warmups. I spot him as soon as he gets on the ice. Wearing the captain's jersey, Rath, #8. When he looks up to the stands, he scans the crowd until he finds me, and smiles. He points to his chest, and tugs at his jersey, and then points to me. I guess he likes my hoodie. Just then I realize Tegan is too quiet, and I look over to see her watching me very intently.

“Just saying, the sweatshirts were my idea.”

“Have I thanked you for that yet?”

“Nope, but I’m guessing by the end of the night you will be.”

Dylan

Don't blink they won't even miss you at all,

And don't think that I'll always be gone,

You know I've got you like a puppet in the palm of my hand,

Don't you let me down!

“Rath!”

Taking my headphones off, I look to see who is calling me and messing up my pre game pump up. I hope Elli came, but I have to keep my head in the game right now. For some reason though, I feel like I would play better if she was watching. There’s something so calm about being near her, but at the same time, she keeps you on your feet. I was relieved last night when she didn’t blow off my text. I still don’t understand why she thought I was just pretending to be nice to her.  

“Yea, Anderson?”

“Coach wants to see you before your team pep talk.”

“Thanks man.”

Standing up, fully dressed in my gear and helmet in hand, I head toward Coaches office and knock on the door.

“Come in Rath.”

“What’s up Coach?”

“Feeling good about tonight?”

“Yes sir.”

“Good, I know it’s the first game of the season, but you keep playing the way you’re playing, and your future is looking very bright.”

“I’ll make sure to do that sir, thank you."

“Now go give your team of hood rats a pep talk before we take the ice.”

Laughing at his nickname for the team, I make my way towards the room where the guys are being rowdy as usual.

“Alright boys, round it up!"

“AYYYYOOO Caps got the mic, everyone shut up!”

Throwing an appreciative nod at Anderson, I look out to my team. We spend so much time together, and have become a band of brothers, and that’s a winning team in my opinion.

"Alright men. First game of the season. We looked real sharp in practice yesterday, am I right?!

A chorus of 'hell yeah’s’ makes their way around the room before I'm able to speak up again.

"Stay sharp out there. Look out for one another. We’re not just a team here. We’re a family, and daddy dearest over there is expecting us to bring him home back to back championships. So let's get out there and kick some ass!"

We all collect our gear, and make our way out of the locker room. As I step onto the ice, I scan the bleachers for one person in particular. And then I see her. She's wearing a Wolves sweatshirt, jeans, and has her hair down. She belongs in an ice rink. She doesn’t look one bit out of place like some of the girls the other guys bring. They wind up freezing halfway into the first period and have to leave.

I'm guessing the girl next to her is her friend Tegan, because she has on the same sweatshirt. I'm glad she didn't come alone. I drift my eyes back over to her and smile. I tug at my jersey to show her I like her choice of apparel, and then begin to warm up. I feel a little lighter on my skates. Like skating without equipment last night released some unnoticed muscle tension.

When the buzzer goes off sounding that it’s time to start the game, I go to the bench into the group huddle. Coach gives us a quick brief and I go to my position. I play defense, so as I watch Anderson take the face off, I get my head in the game and prepare to play my heart out.

Elli

Wow. Dylan really is Mr. Hockey. I mean I had a feeling he was good, but I didn't think he was this good. I watch as he blocks another shot from going to the goal. He has control of the puck, and sends it up the boards where the left wing takes possession and charges the net. His wrist shot reaches the back of the net and the team celebrates in a hug as the stands go crazy. Tegan and I are on our feet clapping and the crowd finally settles down when the next faceoff is underway. Watching how completely in the zone Dylan is, is like a breath of fresh air. To see someone so absorbed and focused reminds me of how into my work I get, and it's a nice feeling. It’s passion. And when you're passionate about something, the moments you let it completely take you over is truly a sight to behold.

"Earth to Elli! Anybody in there?"

Looking over to Tegan, I realize I must have just missed an entire conversation.

“Sorry, what?”

"What's going on in that mind of yours?"

"Just thinking."

"Well stop thinking and just enjoy yourself! Your boy is amazing!"

Chuckling I say "He's not my boy Tegan."

"Yea, uh-huh. Keep telling yourself that."

Shaking my head, I take her advice and just enjoy watching the game. During the second period, I notice Chris making his way over to where Tegan and I are sitting.

"Hey Elli! Made it out to the game I see! Hey Tegan! How'd you convince her to take off from work?"

"I had nothing to do with it Chris!" Tegan says as she sends me a sideways smirk, along with a wink.

"Well whatever the reason I'm glad you're here Elli! The rink is hosting a youth tournament for next month. Think your brothers team would make the trip down?"

"I'm sure they would love that Chris."

"Great! I'll call your dad and give him the details and we'll work it out. Enjoy the game ladies!"

"Bye Chris!" Tegan and I say in unison. She turns her head to ask me a question, but it looks like she loses her train of thought when she looks at my hands.

“Hey, you okay?” she asks.

"Yea, why?”

"Your hands."

I look down to see that, yet again, I've torn my cuticles to shreds, and I'm bleeding.

“Oh yea, that's nothing. I'll be right back.”

I make my way to the bathroom to wash off the red coming from my thumb. While I'm in there, I glance up in the mirror and take a few deep breaths. That's when I notice Tegan in the doorway, watching me.

"Ready to tell me what this is all about?”

"What do you mean?"

"Don't play with me Elli. I thought we decided last night you weren't going to be so closed off anymore."

"Its nothing really. Just a nervous habit I've always had. I don't even realize I'm doing it."

"Elli, when I said you weren't alone anymore I meant it okay?”

She makes her way towards me and gives me a long hug before saying, "alright, time to get back out there before Mr. Hottie thinks you left. He looks at you every chance he gets."

"Oh, please."

"I'm serious El. I haven't even met him and I think he's amazing."

Smiling as we walk out of the bathroom, we take our seats again. As soon as I look out on the bench, Dylan is staring at me, smiling. The butterflies in my stomach are a welcomed feeling.

Dylan

Good, she didn’t leave. I’m seriously psyching myself out with this girl. I saw Chris go over to her and when she left and Tegan followed her, I thought something was wrong. But then they walked back out from the bathroom. Geez, I need to keep my head in the game.

When the final buzzer goes off, and the scoreboard shows we won 3-0, my boys and I celebrate in a victory huddle, tapping each others shins with our sticks in a mutual ‘nice work’ gesture. When we exit the ice, I’m suddenly hit with a burst of energy, even though I just played three hard periods of hockey and I'm drenched with sweat. I haul my ass into the shower and get dressed without making it look like I’m eager to leave. I throw on my beanie and as the guys joke around, I quickly say my goodbyes, grab my gear and walk out of the locker room. But of course I don’t get a clean break. What was I thinking?

“Rath! Where you off too? Let's go to the bar and celebrate!”

“I’ve got something to do man! Have a beer for me though!”

“What have you possibly got to do that has you rushing out of here? You getting some tonight Rath?”