This Girl Stripped (13 page)

Claimed

From the moment Diesel walked out of my bedroom, I stayed here. River was gone, and I had no idea if he would ever be back. Diesel walked away, giving me the space I know I needed. Every interaction with that man proved one thing; he was the level headed and mature one in this entire situation. The one I know I should run to.

River’s hot and cold emotions would be too much for me in the long run. I have too many of my own demons to conquer without overcoming his. Maybe we just needed a little time apart? That sounded like a great idea. Exactly what I would do.

My thoughts fade and I finally start to drift to sleep when I hear someone rattling my door knob. I want to yell go away, but fear spreads through my body. Is it Zane? Is he back for Christmas to visit with his family? Is he back to hurt me or worse? The fear keeps me paralyzed until I hear River’s loud whisper calling my name. I want to get up and punch him in the dick for scaring me so badly. I am sure he didn’t mean it, but Jesus H Christ!

I swing my legs out of bed, and cross the room to unlock the door. I rub my eyes, and try and tame my hair. I must look like a damn train wreck. The Mrs. Claus nightgown hangs down to my knees, I wanted to be festive for the family in the morning. He just stands there staring at me. His jacket is open, and a Grinch shirt peaks out from under the leather. I want to ask him what he wants and why he’s here in the middle of the night, but before I can open my mouth to speak his lips are on mine.

He grabs me by the hips and slams me against my bedroom wall. His mouth is full of hunger, like he needs me just as badly as he needs his next breath. I return the kiss with all the pent up aggression this day has left me with. I want to take it all out on him.

My tongue roughly runs over his before I nibble on his bottom lip. I think that’s the exact moment he officially loses it. His hands fumble with his jeans and his hard cock springs free. I am taken off guard when he roughly spins me around and lifts my arms above my head, painfully pinning them to the wall. His pants fall the the floor, and the loud thud of his belt buckle carries through the entire house.

River’s hand hikes my nightgown up, only to discover I didn’t wear any damn panties to bed. He lets out a laugh and his free hand crashes down on the bare flesh of my ass. The slap sings through the silent night air. It encourages him even more, and while I nurse the hurt of my freshly tanned ass, he slams his dick into me with no damn warning. I let out a gasp, and a moan all at the same time.

I shouldn’t like how rough he is being, but fuck it feels good. With each thrust, he pushes deeper into me. His hands grip my hips tighter and he slams into me harder. I can’t help the moans that fly from my lips. I can’t hold back with him. It all feels to fucking good.

His cock rubs against the tender wall of my tight cunt, and my pussy tightens around his cock. My orgasm slowly takes me over and I yell out in pleasure. I moan out River’s name over and over again as his pace begins to slow.

He pushes his dick into me one last time, seating himself as deep as he can go, and that’s when I feel him release his own orgasm deep within me. I can feel every last hot spurt inside me as my body starts to sag down the wall. His grip on my wrists loosens, and he wraps his arms around my tired body, placing a kiss on the back of my neck. His nose burrows into my wild hair, and I swear for a minute he is sniffing me.

“Fuck, I’m sorry,” he whispers into my neck. He gently starts to pull his dick free from my pussy. He starts to back away from me, retreating once again. I should have known this was coming. We went from best friends, to nothing more than fuck buddies. Once the sex is said and done, he just walks away because he can’t stand to be around me. It hurts, but it helps me know that I’m not the only broken person in the world. Maybe it is better off this way.

I reach out for him and grab his hand. He pauses and I pull him close. My back presses against the wall and he rests his forehead against mine. I kiss him. I pour all of my feelings into that single kiss, because he doesn’t realize this is me saying goodbye to him.

“It’s okay, River. I love every moment I share with you,” and it’s honest. I just don’t know if I can deal with the constant emotional breakdown I get when he decides he doesn’t need me once his balls are empty for the night.

I send up a silent prayer, hoping that I can go on and live my life without River by my side, because it’s time I stand on my own two feet.

“Star, you know I appreciate this.” I look around the small two bedroom house my sister rented for me. It’s been almost a full month since Christmas. Since I said goodbye to River and Diesel. I went to my sister and explained my need for some kind of independence and she immediately started looking for someplace I could comfortably call home.

It isn’t anything fancy, the old wallpaper is peeling, and I’m pretty sure I will find lead paint in here someplace. But, I can call it my own for the time being and that’s exactly what I need. I never thought being alone would become so freeing, help me clear my head so much. Apparently it was exactly what I needed.

“If this is what you need, it’s yours Paisley. You’ve been through a lot.” She wraps her arms around me and kisses the top of my forehead. “I gotta jet, I gotta pick up Magnolia and Scarlett from school.” She throws up the peace sign and walks for the door.

“Do something wonderful with this space, Paisley.” I smile, because I plan on it. I have free reign to do whatever I want and after my bed is set up, I’m going to get working on my writing room. Where I plan on spending most of my time.

I continue to write daily. Sometimes it’s only a sentence. Sometimes a page, but most days I have full chapters to purge. I’m discovering things about myself I never knew. My desperate need for acceptance. My constant need for companionship. My fear of living life alone. But, the reality of it was that I wasn’t alone at all. I have family, and an amazing group of friends who would do anything for me.

I’ve learned to set boundaries with River and Diesel, one handling it better than the other. Diesel is happy for any time we spend together. River on the other hand, refuses to talk to me at all. I thought he would always be there, even if we were just friends. He was just too immature to handle friendship apparently.

A knock on the door pulled me out of the small writing room, and to the bright blue front door.
How ugly is that shit?
Pulling it open, Diesel stood there with a take out bag from Maggie’s and his tool box in the other hand.

“Figured you might need help puttin’ that bed together?” he shrugs his shoulders and puts the toolbox down on the concrete front step. His brown eyes are bright today and he has his hair slicked back. I love it when he wears his hair like that. Shit.

“Come in, get out of the cold.” I laugh as he kicks the snow off of his boots. “The bedroom is through those doors. There is like seven bazillion pieces for the bed. Good luck.” He hands me the bag from Maggies.

“Chocolate chip pancakes, and bacon, your favorite,” he winks at me before he disappears into the bedroom. I smile, and make my way to the small two person table I have in the kitchen area. The house is quiet, so when I hear him complain I can make out every word and chuckle to myself.

“What the fuck is this thing? Ikea? Goddamn it!”

I peak my head around the corner, “You know, they say talking to yourself is the first sign you are losing your mind.”

“Princess, I lost my mind the moment I met you.” He grins like the Cheshire Cat and my chest is filled with a tingly warm feeling. I wish his words didn’t affect me the way they do. I try and turn my emotions off constantly, but he can always get to me. Always make me smile, even without trying.

I throw a bag of clothes across the room and it smacks him dead center in the middle of his back. As soon as the bag makes contact with his giant form, I turn and run in the opposite direction. I feel like a little kid fighting with Star all over again. It feels good. I’m genuinely happy, even though I know he is about to plow through the house and get his revenge. Everything between us is so laid back and easy - Fun even - when we are together.

When I don’t hear the heavy boots come stalking after me, I peek around the corner and make my way back toward the bedroom. I stop in the middle of the living room, quietly looking around at all the possible hiding spaces. No sign of him.

I tip toe around the corner and peek into the bedroom. As my head rounds the corner, a strong hand pulls me into the room and tosses me over his shoulder. Damnit! He caught me!

I squeal and laugh hysterically as he tickles me. I’m gasping for air and kicking my legs. I can’t stop laughing, and he joins in. His deep booming chuckle fills the room, and vibrates through my entire body.

“Stop! I’m gonna piss my pants, Diesel! I swear to God! I will SO pee on you!” My threat stops him, and he lowers my feet back onto the funky old shag carpeting. I hold my stomach as I catch my breath. Tears stream down my face, and his smile could light up an airport runway. God we have so much fun together.

I lean against the wall, and look up to catch his heated gaze focused on my flushed face and lips. I run my tongue along my bottom lip without even thinking about it. It’s my body’s natural response to him. I just can’t help it.

He shakes his head and focuses back on the bed. Thank god he did, because if he leaned in, I would have kissed the hell out of him. I just can’t control myself around him and sometimes it really scares me.

I make my way back to the kitchen. As I open up the foam food container, my stomach growls. Shit, I was hungry. In the hustle and bustle of moving this morning I forgot to eat. But, when the scent of the bacon hits my nose, my stomach churns and I bolt for the bathroom.
What the fuck?

I love bacon. This must be nature’s cruel trick or something, because I was about to make that bacon my bitch. I hurl up the cup of coffee I had an hour or so ago, and sit on the floor recovering. Diesel knocks on the door and I groan.

“You okay, Paisley?” I must have that stupid stomach bug Star said was going around the schools. Scarlett had it a couple weeks ago, then ever so kindly passed it to Magnolia. I don’t have time to be sick, especially without a damn bed.

“I’m good, I think I’m gettin’ that stomach bug the girls had. You should probably leave.” I would feel horrible if I got anyone else sick. Especially since he’s just here trying to help me.

“I’m not goin’ anywhere, Paisley. I’m gonna get the bed together as quick as I can. If you need me just holler.” I can hear his boots cross the house. I hate being sick. I’m the most pathetic, miserable, sick person ever. Hell, I haven’t been sick like this since I was a kid. Damn kids and their nasty stomach bugs.

I flush the toilet and wash my face, almost feeling a hundred percent better. Whatever. Now I want to down those pancakes.

“Hey, Diesel? Could you do something with that bacon?” Maybe it was the bacon that set me off? Ain’t that some damn bullshit?

“Like what? Eat it?” He laughs from the other side of the door. I’m sure he’s shoving it in his mouth.

“Yeah, good idea. Just eat it.” When the coast is clear I sit down at the table and down the giant pancake without a problem - silently praying it doesn’t come back up in an hour. Because no one wants to throw up anything with chocolate in it. It should be against some kind of chocolate rule.

“You good?” He asks, tossing a screwdriver down on the table, and pulling the other chair out. I nod and swig down a bottle of water. It’s fucking refreshing as all hell. Maybe I was just dehydrated? I need to start taking better care of myself.
Isn’t that what we all say?

“Yeah, I don’t know what that was all about.” I shrug my shoulders.

“Bed is all set.” He nods in the direction of the bedroom. With the millions of pieces, I’m not very confident that it won’t fall apart the second I lay down.

“Sure you did it right?”

He laughs at me as I push my chair back and go to investigate his bed building skills.

“Ain’t the first Ikea crap I’ve built. I got sisters, remember?” He laughs.

I jump onto the bed, and proceed to jump up and down like a little girl on her first bed. No squeaks, nothing falling apart. Looks like Diesel gets an A+ in bed building skills. My stomach churns again, and I am pretty sure jumping around after eating on a queasy stomach was probably the worst idea ever. Shit!

I run to the bathroom for the second time in an hour and empty the giant pancake into the toilet. Well, looks like eating that was a shitty idea. When I finally emerge from the bathroom a second time, Diesel has my entire bed made with the Walmart bed-in-a-bag I picked out a couple days ago. He tucks me into bed and heads out.

“I’ll be back in a couple hours. I’m gonna go get you all the flu necessities.” I try and warn him off, telling him he is only going to end up sick if he comes back. We bicker back and forth. This is the first time I am ever sick with no one to take care of me. My mother may have been a useless piece of shit, but when any of us got sick, she actually took care of us. It was rare, but it happened.