This Summer (15 page)

“Dad,” I say, annoyed.

“I had everything,” he says.

Not this again. “You still have everything,” I say. “Your own business, a house…” I trail off.

His head tilts. “But not her. You ruined that. The second you were born.”

He hasn’t gone this far in a while, but damn if it doesn’t still feel like a knife in the back. “I was eight when she left. It was your best friend who took her away, not me.”

I only feel the sting on my cheek after his hand drops to his side. He’s only gone after me a few times, and like father like son, I shove him back before I can think of what I’m doing. He stumbles back and hits the table near the stairs, knocking over the basket with our keys and other random items we clear out of our pockets each day. I reach for him, instantly regretting it, but the heat on my cheek reminds me that he threw the first punch.

Dad recovers quickly, his top lip curled over his teeth. “You selfish boy,” he slurs and lunges forward.

I side-step him but he falls and I reach out to catch him before his head hits the ground. He’s on top of me and presses his hands into my chest, I feel something crack. He’s above me, his jaw slack and his eyes far away. He’s going to kill me. The pressure on my chest is excruciating and I try to slide out from under him, but he lands another blow to my face, this time with a closed fist.

“I’m going to show you what it’s like to lose at something.”

Heat burns the back of my eyes and it’s painful to blink. But I’m not eight years old anymore. I’m not avoiding him like I used to. I will defend myself, he just doesn’t know it yet.

I shove my knee into his stomach and he groans, falling to the side. I get up from the floor and he’s still on his side, coughing.

“Let’s get you to bed,” I say through clenched teeth, even though my cheek burns.

Dad sneers. He reaches up for the couch and pulls himself up. He lunges for me again and I hesitate. Big mistake. His fist connects with my gut and I double over, crying out.

“Stop! It’s me, your son.” I try to break through to him.

He shoves me back but I grab onto the door frame, keeping upright. I push him away from me and he stumbles to the side.

When he recovers, he’s shifting his weight back and forth between his feet. “You’re no son of mine. When you turn eighteen I want you the hell out of here.”

I turned eighteen almost three months ago, but he was passed out that night as usual. “I’m leaving in a few weeks for school, Dad.”

He blinks slowly. “Let’s hope you earned enough at that stupid camp job to pay for it because you aren’t getting a dime out of me.”

That is the last straw. I worked hard enough in school to get scholarships but he isn’t going to drink away my dreams of getting out of Spring Falls. “If it wasn’t for me taking care of you, you wouldn’t have enough to pay for this house, let alone my schooling. I’ve protected you like family is supposed to”

“I have no family,” he says, falling onto the couch. His head is buried in his hands and sobs shake his shoulders.

His wails shatter my insides. God dammit.

I grab the phone that toppled from the cradle when he fell against the table. I dial Aunt Mabel. She is the only person I trust when it comes to her brother. They both dealt with an abusive father and Dad had fallen into step soon after my mom left.

She answers on the first ring. “Hi darlin’.”

“Mabel?” My voice cracks. I clear it. “He needs help. And I can’t—” My voice breaks again. “I don’t want to be like him.”

I gasp as I’m pulled out of the memory into reality. My phone rings. I hold my shaking hands in front of me. I must have dropped the phone. I pick it up and Mabel’s name broadcasts across the screen. I take a steadying breath and answer it.

***

The alarm on my phone goes off. I toss the wrench into my tool bag and click it off. Focusing on a job cleared my mind at least for a little while. Reliving the worst night of my life exhausted me to no end but I can’t stay in the house forever. I test the faucet and the water clears a few air bubbles before it turns into a steady stream.

I pack the rest of the tools and head upstairs to get ready.

Twenty minutes later I’m out the door and head to the cut through in the woods. The street is lined with cars on both sides. Hundreds of people come to the fireworks and our street is the overflow from the packed parking lots. I keep to the end of a large group trailing through the woods.

An older couple argues in hushed voices as they try to balance their chairs, a cooler and two bags.

“Let me help you,” I say, unable to watch the wife struggle.

The man turns to me and nods. “Thank you.”

The woman talks enough for the both of us and I politely listen. Folks in the South are a lot more friendly than up north, but this couple challenges the stereotype.

They find a spot on the outskirts of the soccer field and offer their thanks again before I go on my way towards the designated tailgating parking lot. I weave through others who have set up their spots, avoiding energetic kids running all over the place.

A few people call out to me and I find myself finally falling into the routine of the summer. Guys I went to high school with are home for the summer from college. We catch up on surface topics but soon enough a familiar itch inside of me goes in search of Hadley.

Fourth of July tailgating is just another small town excuse to drink and party. Police and parents look the other way until someone gets too intense, then they were dealt with appropriately. No one ever knew when I had been drinking. I learned from the best. But that was something I gave up two years ago, further releasing myself from Dad’s shadow.

I squeeze between vehicles and the various occupants who have set up tables, chairs, and grills on the pavement.

“Hey there, sexy,” someone calls from behind me.

I turn to see Skye. She dips out from under someone’s arm and stumbles over to me. Her breath smells like beer. I hold my hands out in front of me, but she manages to hold herself steady, sliding her hands over mine. “Come have a drink with us.” She throws her arm back towards the group.

Ethan waves and turns back to Daisy, sitting next to him. Carter and Heath are in a heated discussion, but Carter looks up at Skye and narrows his eyes at me.

“Maybe later,” I say, not intending to carry out that promise.

She steps closer, pressing her chest against mine. “I’ll make it worth your while,” she says close to my ear.

In another lifetime I might have taken her up on that, but I know where that path leads. Towards the place I’ve been running from the past two years. I politely take a step back. “See you.”

The field lights turn on, signaling about an hour until the fireworks begin. I find the Hadley and Lily next to a blue pickup on the outskirts of the lot. I move to the side and watch Hadley tilt her head back, laughing at something Lily said. A burley guy stands behind Lily, her body tucked between his legs. He looks to be a year or two older than me.

I take my eyes off them, returning to Hadley standing next to a wiry guy a few inches taller than her. I can’t help the grin spreading over my lips. How did I not put two and two together?

I approach the group, interrupting them. “I would have thought you’d grown out of small town festivities,” I say to Jordan.

Jordan Hayes’ eyes widen briefly before he recognizes me. He barrels into me, attempting to lift me from the ground. “Still a weak little man, aren’t you?” I say through a chuckle.

“Bet I can still outrun you, asshole,” he says with a smile.

Jordan was the quickest short stop the state had ever seen. Even though he played for a competing high school, his team was almost as good as we were. Almost.

“You know each other?” Lily says in an annoyed voice, giving Hadley a look.

“Since Little League. I grew up in Keithstown,” Jordan says to Hadley. His gaze flicks to mine with realization.

Hadley attended most of my games and I believe I’d mentioned her to Jordan a few times. A defining shift in the group settles over us like a black cloud.

Lily’s guy offers a hand to me. “I’m Eddie.” I shake his hand.

“It all fits now,” Hadley says, unruffled by the new situation. I glance down at the red plastic cup in her hands. She was always a lightweight when it came to drinking. “Jordan did mention kicking your butts at the state championship.”

Jordan holds his hands in front of him. “I did not say that.”

I narrow my eyes at her. “I know
you
didn’t say that.”

Hadley smiles now, showing all of her teeth.

I match her smile. “She knows I don’t like when people bring up that game.”

“What happened at that game?” Eddie asks.

“Oh you know,” Hadley says in a sing song voice. “Jordan here had rocked a home run in the ninth inning, making our team lose their spot at state.”

“That was pretty sweet,” Jordan says dreamily.

I ignore his attempt to egg me on. “High school is over people!”

Hadley giggles, a sound that strikes me. Since I’ve been back this is the first time she’s the person I remember. I risk a glance at Lily, who’s smiling but also eyeing me. Hadley tucks her hand into the crook of Jordan’s arm.

“I have to pee,” Lily announces, extracting herself from Eddie. She takes Hadley’s cup and places it on the open bed of the truck, and pulls her friend away.

CHAPTER TWELVE

Hadley

Lily and I ease our way through the crowded parking lot, squeezing between cars and tents.

“You know him,” Lily grumbles.

I lean against her, my body light and a little off balance. “I knew of him.”

“Now Will’s going to have an easier time cock-blocking you when he can play ‘catch up’ with his friend.”

“First thing, I don’t have a cock,” I say, holding up a finger, attempting a serious expression.

Lily rolls her eyes.

“Secondly,” I hold up two fingers. “I thought we were just going to have fun.”

“With guys!”

“Will’s a guy.”

She glowers. “You know what I mean.”

We approach the line for the bathroom, which isn’t as long as I thought it would be. “Besides the camp Will hasn’t had much interaction around here. It’ll be good for him to hang out with Jordan.”

Lily leans against the side of the brick building. She shifts uncomfortably. “Whatever.”

“Why all of this insistence for me to get with someone?”

She chews on her lower lip. “There’s no insistence. I just thought it would be fun to hang out with my best friend on a double date. It seems like before it was all about you and Will. Then you and Carter. Now we are single-ish and you’re leaving soon. I wanted to do something different.”

“The summer has barely begun. There’s plenty of time for that.”

“I suppose,” Lily says.

The line moves a few feet as a group of women come from the entrance. Tailing on the end of it is Skye and a few of her friends.

She catches my eye. “Hey!” she yells, louder than necessary.

“Hey!” Lily mimics in a high pitched voice.

I nudge her, but clearly Skye didn’t catch her tone. “You guys should come over to our little party. Carter is there.”

She says it like that’s a deal breaker for me.

“Cool. See you soon!” She flounces away as if I’ve just agreed with her.

Lily snorts and we finally reach the top of the line. She goes first, practically sprinting into the stall. The moment away from her gives me a minute to breathe. I didn’t want to tell her that I already knew Jordan from the second I met him. Bringing up another guy would have been a buzz kill. Jordan is cute, but there isn’t much of a connection. And what’s wrong with Will catching up with an old friend? Maybe it will loosen him up a bit.

When we finish in the bathroom, we walk through the parking lot towards our space. Lily is quiet. The silence between us is more deafening than the crowd. I know she wants to say something else, but she leaves it be. For now.

Skye’s laughter catches my ear and I can’t help but look in the direction of their group. Carter and Isabelle seem close, and I’m relieved he has someone to distract him. He stares at me intently but I’m the first to look away.

When we arrive back at Eddie’s truck, Jordan is nowhere to be found. Eddie scoops Lily into a hug and she squeals, wrapping her legs around him. Here we go again.

I turn to Will.

“A couple of Jordan’s friends showed up and he left to go look for them,” he says, as if reading my mind.

“Okay,” I say. I go to the cooler and lift the top. I stick my hand in the melting ice and pull out a beer. I offer one to Will.

He holds up a hand. “I’m good.”

That’s different. Will never turned down alcohol before. Something else about him that’s changed. I pop the tab and pour a cup for myself. Lily and Eddie are distracted so I move to Will’s side. “Are you having fun?”

“Yeah,” he says.

I pour the foamy liquid into my cup. “Really?”

His hands wrap around mine and my breath catches. He tilts the cup and expertly pours the beer with only a little foam at the top. “It’s a bit strange.” He crumples the can and tosses it into a plastic bag. “It’s almost like this place paused while I was gone. It looks and feels exactly the same.”

I take a sip of the beer. “The curse of small towns.”

He exhales a deep breath. “But it’s nice.”

I nod and watch the crowd with him. We’re quiet as we observe other tailgater’s partying and are drawn to one guy a few cars over as he drunkenly trips over a cooler nearly knocking over a woman. We laugh as he recovers; Will and I falling into a comfortable place.

Minutes later, Jordan returns with two girls and another guy. The girls seem nice but they keep to themselves. One of them only has eyes for Jordan, but like most guys, he’s oblivious.

Don’t worry girlfriend, he’s all yours
.

The group not so subtly divides into separate conversations but we find a spot together on the field when it’s closer to the show. Jordan and Eddie spread a large blanket out in front of us. Lily and I spread ours out next to it. Jordan dutifully sits next to me and the girl and her friend take the edge of the blanket in front of us. The chatter around us is filled with anticipation for the fireworks. I try not to feel disappointed when Will sits on the other side of Jordan.