Authors: Luigi Pirandello
CROMO
. Is it because of the pin? Are you quite sure you swallowed it?
DIAMANTE
. It’s here! Here!
CROMO
. Were you holding it between your teeth as you got undressed?
DIAMANTE
. No. I think I just swallowed it right now. And there may even have been two.
CROMO
. Pins?
DIAMANTE
. Pins! Pins! Though the other one, I’m not so sure … perhaps I dreamt it. Or was it before the dream? But the fact is I feel it here.
CROMO
. Now I get it: you must have dreamt about it because you feel a pricking in your throat. I bet your tonsils are inflamed, with little infected white spots.
DIAMANTE
. Maybe. The damp, the stress.
CROMO
. You must have fever too.
DIAMANTE
. Perhaps.
CROMO
[
in the same terse pitying tone
]. Drop dead!
DIAMANTE
[
turning on him
]. Drop dead yourself!
CROMO
. It’s all that’s left for us, my dear, with the kind of life we’re leading.
DIAMANTE
. Pins in my dress, yes, there was one, all rusty; but I remember pulling it out and throwing it away; I didn’t put it between my teeth. Besides, if I’m no longer dressed as a Lady-in-Waiting …
BATTAGLIA
comes rushing in through the first left door like a man possessed
.
BATTAGLIA
. Oh God, I’ve seen it! I’ve seen it!
DIAMANTE
. Seen what?
BATTAGLIA
. In the wall back there. Something horrible!
CROMO
. Ah, if you say you’ve
seen
it, it must be true. Well, me too, me too, I’ve
heard
something.
DIAMANTE
. What? Don’t scare me. I’m running a fever.
CROMO
. Down at the end of the corridor, just where the well is. Music, but what music!
DIAMANTE
. Music?
CROMO
[
taking them both by the hand
]. Here, come on.
DIAMANTE AND BATTAGLIA
[
simultaneously drawing back
]. No, you’re crazy. What music?
CROMO
. So beautiful! Come with me. Music … what are you afraid of? [
They tiptoe towards the back of the stage
] But we need to find exactly the right place. It must be here. I heard it, there’s no doubt about that. As if from the other world. It comes from the bottom of that well down there, can you see? [
Pointing out through the second left door
]
DIAMANTE
. But what music?
CROMO
. A concert in Paradise. Here, wait. It was like this. I moved away and I stopped hearing it; I came too near and I stopped hearing it. Then, suddenly, getting just the right spot … Here you are! Don’t move! Can you hear it? Can you hear?
And indeed, muted but distinct, comes the sound of sweet soft music. The three stand in a line, leaning forward to listen, ecstatic and fearful
.
DIAMANTE
. God above, it’s true.
BATTAGLIA
. Couldn’t it be Sgricia playing the organ?
CROMO
. Not a chance. It’s nothing earthly. And if we move one step, like this, we stop hearing it.
In fact, as soon as they move, the music stops
.
DIAMANTE
. No, once again! Let’s hear it again!
They go back to where they were before and again they hear the music
.
CROMO
. Here it is again.
They stand listening for a while. Then
CROMO
steps forward with the other two and the music stops
.
BATTAGLIA
. I feel quite shattered by fear.
CROMO
. In this villa you really do see and hear things.
BATTAGLIA
. I tell you I saw it. The wall back there. It opened up.
DIAMANTE
. Opened up?
BATTAGLIA
. Yes, and you could see the sky through it.
DIAMANTE
. Wasn’t it the window?
BATTAGLIA
. No, the window was on this side and closed. There was no window in the wall facing me. And it opened up, oh, with a moonlight like nothing you’ve ever seen, shining on a long stone bench so clearly that you could have counted the blades of grass in the tufts that grew around it. Then that idiot girl in the red dress came by, the one who smiles and never speaks, and sat down on the bench. And she was followed by some simpering dwarf.
CROMO
. Quaquèo?
BATTAGLIA
. Not Quaquèo. This one wore a dove-grey cloak which reached down to his feet and swung like a bell; and on top of it his tiny head and a face that looked stained with grape juice. He handed the woman a sparkling jewel-box and then jumped over the bench as if to run off. But, in fact, he was hiding behind the bench and poking his malicious head out every now and then to see if she would give in to temptation. But she didn’t budge, just sat there with her head bent, smiling and staring at the jewel-box in her hands. I could even see her teeth between her lips as they half-opened in a smile.
CROMO
. Sure you weren’t dreaming?
BATTAGLIA
. Of course I wasn’t. I saw it, saw it the way I see you two here and now.
DIAMANTE
. Oh Lord, Cromo. That pin then, I’m afraid I really did swallow it.
CROMO
[
struck by a sudden idea
]. Wait, wait here: I have an idea: I’m going to my room and I’ll be back right away. [
Exits through the same door by which he entered
]
DIAMANTE
[
puzzled, to
BATTAGLIA
]. Why’s he going to his room?
BATTAGLIA
. I don’t know … I’m all of a tremble … don’t leave me … Oh, don’t you think those puppets have moved?
DIAMANTE
. Did you see them move?
BATTAGLIA
. One of them. I thought one moved.
DIAMANTE
. No. They’re just lying where they were put.
CROMO
re-enters, as excited as a schoolboy on holiday
.
CROMO
. There. Just as I thought. I guessed as much. It’s not us who are actually here, it’s not us.
BATTAGLIA
. What do you mean, it’s not us?
CROMO
. Cheer up! It’s nothing to worry about. Just keep quiet. Go and look in your bedrooms and see for yourselves. You’ll be convinced.
DIAMANTE
. Of what? That we’re not us?
BATTAGLIA
. What did you see in your room?
DIAMANTE
. And who are we then?
CROMO
. Go and see. It’s a laugh. Go on.
As soon as the two have gone out through the doors they came in by, the
PUPPETS
straighten up, stretching themelves and exclaiming:
PUPPETS
. —At last!
—Thank goodness, you’ve finally got the message.
—It took long enough.
—Couldn’t have stood it much longer.
CROMO
[
amazed at first to see them getting up, but then grasping the logic of the situation
]. Oh, you too? Well yes, sure; it’s only right. You too. Why not?
ONE OF THE PUPPETS
. Shall we stretch our legs a bit? How about it?
Two of them take him by the hand and form a circle with the others. As
CROMO
and the
PUPPETS
dance in a ring, the musical instruments automatically strike up again in a discordant accompaniment. Meanwhile
BATTAGLIA
and
DIAMANTE
return looking thunderstruck
.
BATTAGLIA
seems unaware that he is now dressed as one of the little whores with a rag of a hat on his head
.
DIAMANTE
. I must be going mad. So this [
touching her body
] is not my body? And yet I’m touching it.
BATTAGLIA
. So you saw yourself back there as well?
DIAMANTE
[
pointing to the
PUPPETS
]. And all these, standing up. Oh my God, where are we? I’m going to screee …
CROMO
[
putting a hand over her mouth
]. Be quiet. There’s no need to scream. I found my body too, back there deep in a splendid sleep. We awoke outside, do you see what I mean?
DIAMANTE
. Outside? Outside what?
CROMO
. Outside ourselves. We’re dreaming. Can’t you see? We’re
ourselves, but in a dream, outside our bodies which are sleeping back there.
DIAMANTE
. And you’re sure that our bodies are breathing and not dead?
CROMO
. Dead, she says! My body’s lying there snoring, happy as a pig, belly-up, chest rising and falling like a bellows.
BATTAGLIA
[
hurt, sadly
]. Mine had its mouth wide open, yet I’ve always slept like a little angel.
ONE OF THE PUPPETS
[
sneering
]. Like a little angel! How lovely!
ANOTHER PUPPET
. Dribbling saliva down one side.
BATTAGLIA
[
with a scared gesture towards the
PUPPETS
]. And these?
CROMO
. They’re part of the dream too, you see. And look at yourself; you’ve become a little whore. Now here’s a nice sailor-boy for you. Go on, give him a hug. [
He shoves him into the arms of one of the sailor-suited puppets
] Let’s dance. Dance happily in the dream!
More music from the instruments. They dance but with the strange jerky movements of puppets who do not bend easily. Through the first door to the left comes
SPIZZI
who elbows his way through the dancing couples. He is holding a rope
.
SPIZZI
. Make way! Make way! Let me get through.
CROMO
. Oh, Spizzi! You too. What’s that in your hand? Where are you going?
SPIZZI
. Let me go. I can’t take it any more. I’m off to finish it.
CROMO
. Finish it how? With this rope? [
He lifts
SPIZZI
’
s arm and at the sight of the rope everyone bursts out laughing
.
CROMO
shouts
] You fool, you’re dreaming it. You’re hanging yourself in a dream.
SPIZZI
[
breaking loose and running off through the second door on the right
]. Yes, right; now you’ll see if it’s a dream or not.
CROMO
. Poor lad. All for love of the Countess.
Greatly alarmed and distressed
,
LUMACHI
and
SACERDOTE
come bursting in through the first doors on right and left
.
LUMACHI
. Oh my God, Spizzi’s going to hang himself!
SACERDOTE
. He’s hanging himself. Spizzi’s hanging himself.
CROMO
. No, no, he isn’t. You’re dreaming it too.
BATTAGLIA
. Spizzi’s asleep in his bed.
DIAMANTE
. And so are you. Go and have a look.
LUMACHI
. Sleeping, you say? There he is. He’s really gone and hanged himself. Look!
The backdrop becomes transparent again and
SPIZZI
is seen hanging from a tree. There is a general scream of horror as everyone runs upstage. Suddenly the scene is plunged in darkness and, as the actors vanish like images in a dream, the stage resounds with mocking laughter from the
PUPPETS
returning to their chairs. The lights go up again and, apart from the
PUPPETS
in the same immobile postures as before, the stage is empty. A few moments pass before the
COUNTESS, COTRONE
,
and the
COUNT
enter through the first door on the right
.
ILSE
. I saw him. I saw him, I tell you. Hanging from a tree here behind the villa.
COTRONE
. But there are no trees behind the villa.
ILSE
. Of course there are. Round a pond.
COTRONE
. There’s no pond, Countess. You can go and see.
ILSE
[
to her husband
]. How is that possible? You saw it as well.
COUNT
. Yes I did.
COTRONE
. Don’t let it worry you, Countess. It’s the villa itself. Every night it takes on this life of music and of dreams. And all unknown to the dreamer, the dreams come to life outside us, incoherent, just as when we dream them. Only poets can give coherence to dreams. Here is Signor Spizzi, you see him? In flesh and blood; and he must have started all this off by dreaming that he’d hanged himself.
SPIZZI
has, in fact, entered gloomily through the first left door. He reacts to
COTRONE
’
s words with a sudden start, surprised and indignant
.
SPIZZI
. How do you know?
COTRONE
. But we all know, my dear fellow.
SPIZZI
[
to the
COUNTESS
]. You too?
ILSE
. Yes, I dreamed it as well.
COUNT
. And me.
SPIZZI
. All of you? How can that be?
COTRONE
. It’s quite clear that you can have no secrets from anybody,
not even when you’re dreaming. I was just explaining to the Countess that this too is a special privilege of our villa. Always, when the moon rises, everything on earth begins to turn into the stuff of dreams, as if life had withdrawn leaving only a melancholy shade in the memory. Then dreams come forth and sometimes a passionate soul will decide to put a rope round his neck and hang himself on some imaginary tree. My dear young friend, we all speak and, having done so, almost always realize that we have spoken in vain. And so we retreat disenchanted into ourselves, like a dog to its kennel at night after barking at a shadow.