Tied to You (8 page)

Gently, Alex lowers me onto a bed and I open my eyes to unfamiliar surroundings. I take in the masculine wooden furniture and dark blue cotton sheets and surmise that I must be in Alex’s bedroom, the one room of the house I have never actually entered. My body is still trembling, despite the warmth of the blanket, so he pulls open the duvet, inserts me under it and then climbs in next to me, wrapping his body around mine.

We lie in silence for several minutes and I can hear his heart thumping in his chest. “You okay, Liv?” he asks softly. I try to wrap my brain around what just happened, but I think a part of me is in denial. This changes everything. How can we go back after this to the easy friendship that we had developed? There is so much to Alex that I just don’t understand, starting with the basement and ending with that crazy voice he used while he was fucking me, and I just don’t know what to think. And then here he is, after saying he doesn’t do ‘gentle’, looking after me, holding me like I might break.

“I…I am fine, Alex,” I whisper, but I know that I am lying. We have crossed an invisible boundary and I am aware that, at this moment, I have made the biggest mistake of my life…I have fallen in love with Alexander Davenport. I look up into his eyes and something tells me that Alex knows that I am lying, but he doesn’t push it. A soft kiss lands on my hair, and fingers gently rub circles on my back. The warmth of the bed, coupled with Alex’s soothing ministrations, soon has me feeling dozy. I long to ask Alex where we go from here, but instead keep my mouth shut and wait as sleep slowly descends.

~~~~~~~~~~

I wake to the sound of a vacuum cleaner coming closer and closer. I am lying on my front, my arms hugging the pillow beneath me, as the events of the evening before slowly filter back. It suddenly occurs to me that I am not in my bed, so I stretch out my arm, only to find the sheets cool. I open my eyes, just as Alex’s housekeeper, Mrs James, walks into the room. She is clearly startled to see me, and I find myself flushing with embarrassment that I have been caught in Alex’s bed.

“Morning, Mrs Davenport,” she says, clearly uncomfortable.

“Um, morning, Mrs James,” I reply as I glance at the clock on the side. Heavens, I have completely slept through. “I am sorry. I didn’t realise you were in today,” I say.

“Not at all, Mrs Davenport, I wanted to stay on top of things,” she responds, and I have to remind her, once again, to please call me Olivia. Mrs James has worked for Alex as his housekeeper for the last six years and comes in every day, apart from Sunday, for three hours. I have no idea what Alex told her about me, but she is obviously aware of our sleeping arrangements and our marriage. I have hardly seen her since I started living here, as she typically comes in for the morning after I have already left for work. But she keeps everything ticking over, ensuring that the pantry and freezer are always stocked and the house is always clean and tidy.

She backs out of the room, telling me that she will come back later. As soon as the door closes I jump out of Alex’s bed wondering where the hell he is. I grab a dark grey robe that I notice hanging off the back of the door and wrap it around my frame. I poke my head out of the door, listening out, and when I hear the sound of vacuuming coming from downstairs I make a run for it, not stopping until I am up in my suite, the door closed fast behind me.

My phone buzzes on the side table where I left it last night, and when I check, I see an email from Alex. I hold my breath as I scan the few lines reminding me that he would be in Asia for the week and that we would talk when he returned. I have a vague recollection of him telling me about his early morning flight earlier in the week, but clearly it had slipped my mind.

I make my way into my bathroom and examine myself in the mirror. I don’t look any different from usual, but inside I feel completely alien. I notice a mark on my neck, and when I examine it closely, I see that it is a bite. I don’t even remember Alex biting me last night, but then I wasn’t really aware of anything other than the feel of him fucking me. I run my mind back over the way he took command of me and try to understand why I just complied without a second thought. That voice, I think to myself. It is the only explanation. It was like, when he spoke, my body answered, no matter where my mind was.

I run myself a bath, my aching muscles having made themselves known, and sink into the hot bubbles as soon as the bath is ready. My mind continues to swirl and I find myself thinking back on the previous times that I have had sex. I have never been shy in bed, but my past relationships have always been a bit along the lines of wham-bam-thank-you-ma’am. Even Steve, my longest relationship, which lasted two years after university, had pretty much stuck to missionary position, apart from high days and holidays, when we might try something a bit different. Never in my life have I ever experienced the raw brutality of what happened last night. And as I find myself growing aroused by the memories, I realise that, actually, I loved it.

I am sat cross-legged in the middle of the basement on the platform, which actually turns out to be a mattress on a solid platform, taking everything in. For the past week, curiosity has driven me down here each evening after work to try to work out what makes Alex tick. My Google history would make even the worldliest person blush, and my Amazon purchase history would rival that of a psychologist’s. I think I am starting to understand Alex’s world a little better, and now that I have explored his dungeon further with fresh eyes, I can actually see the purpose of most of the equipment lining the walls. I feel like I have become a walking, talking BDSM encyclopaedia, despite not having really experienced any of it for myself. Weirdly, my dreams have been growing darker and darker each night and twice now I have woken up from climaxing in my sleep. Never before has my little battery-operated boyfriend—or Bob, as I affectionately call it—had quite so much use.

Alex is due back tomorrow and I know we are going to have to talk. I have no idea how he feels about me, beyond the friendship we have forged, but I want to be able to tell him that he doesn’t have to hide from me. The more I have read, the more I have come to the conclusion that Alex is a Dom, the dominant person in a consensual BDSM relationship. It seems that the voice he used would have been the one he has when he slips into his Dom role. The fact that I had never heard it until New Year’s Eve is simply that he had never tried to dominate me.

I am still trying to get to grips with how a person slips between the two personalities, especially as with Alex they seem so different, but I guess I will have to ask the question if I want answers. I pull out my notebook where, ever the researcher, I jot down my question so that I can remember it for later.

I am so engrossed that I don’t hear the footsteps until I notice the shadow at the bottom of the stairs. I glance up and stare as Alex steps forward towards me, my breath catching in my throat, as I take in my first sight of him in a week. The first thing I think of, as I look him up and down, is that he looks tired. There are dark circles around his eyes and deep lines etched around his mouth.

“I thought for sure you wouldn’t be here when I returned,” Alex says flatly as he comes to stand in front of me. He runs his hand through his dishevelled hair, and when he takes in the sight of me with my laptop and notebook, confusion fills his features. “What are you doing down here?” he ask warily.

“Research,” I say with a shy smile. “Why did you think I wouldn’t be here?” I ask, and I know a puzzled expression must be on my face.

“Because of what I did to you. I bit you and fucked you like a piece of meat. Why on earth would you want to stay?” Alex is clearly agitated and I don’t really understand what he is saying.

“So what?” I reply, not sure where this conversation is going.

“So you didn’t ask for that.” Alex lets out a deep sigh. “Liv, you deserve to be cherished and made love to. Not some mindless fuck in a cold hallway. I…I am just not capable of anything else,” he continues sadly.

“What the fuck, Alex?” I ask. “For one, let me just say that ‘mindless fuck’ was hot, like seriously awesome. And two, if I hadn’t wanted it, I would have stopped you.”

“No, you wouldn’t,” he replies quickly, and I look at him in surprise. “I have known since that first evening we had dinner together that you are a natural submissive and would respond to me with absolute compliance. I knew that if we ever got into…a situation…you would just go along with it.”

“So you are saying I have no brain, no will of my own?” I reply angrily.

“N…no, that not what I am saying,” Alex says, unsure of himself for the first time.

“Exactly. So I could have stopped you if I hadn’t wanted it. But I didn’t stop you because I was as aroused as you were. At that moment, it was like nothing else mattered. And what do you mean, you are not capable?” I ask, wondering where he was going with that.

Alex lets out another deep sigh before taking a seat next to me on the mattress. He stares resolutely ahead, not even looking at me when I nudge him with my elbow. Softly he begins to talk.

“I lost my virginity when I was fifteen to my high school girlfriend, Becca. We were in love–well, as much as you can be when you are a walking teenage boner. It was her first time too and I did my best to take it slowly, to make it romantic and gentle, but looking back it was like I felt numb. Even then, during the act, all I wanted to do was walk away. It did absolutely nothing for me. I should have ended it then, but this was Becca, the girl who had been my best friend since we were twelve, so we kind of just plodded along. Becca didn’t realise how I was feeling, so she kept pushing for more sex and I kind of just gave in to it. But I was having all these fantasies about tying her up and smacking her arse till it was bright pink and I was completely frustrated because I didn’t know how to deal with it.

In the end, I suggested trying something new and tied her up to a tree in the vineyard naked one day when I knew there wouldn’t be anyone else around,” continues Alex, letting out a mirthless laugh. “I blindfolded her and stepped away for a couple minutes tops to watch her reaction and she completely freaked out. Called me a pervert and all sorts of things, even though she had been up for it until that point. And that is how it ended. I knew there was something wrong with me, so I made a point of staying away from girls in general and only fucking the school sluts who were known for being easy when the need arose.”

My heart breaks for the teenager that was Alex, in a tiny community where anything that was not the norm would be frowned upon. I wait as he carries on. “It wasn’t until I was in my final year of uni over in Sydney, where I met Ronnie, that I really discovered who I was. She was five years older than me and into kink. We had an understanding; we were friends who fucked, but there were no feelings involved. She had just got out of a long-term relationship and I just didn’t want the hassle of dealing with another Becca. We tried all sorts of things and would go to this club in the city. The day she asked me to beat her I nearly threw up. Needless to say, I didn’t know what the hell I was doing and I hurt her, fractured a rib. Fortunately, she was the forgiving type and spoke to the owner of the club about mentoring me.

I was lucky. A couple of Doms agreed to take me under their wing and they guided me through the next couple of years. I soon learnt what got me off and I had a steady stream of willing subs who enjoyed that sort of thing.” I raise my eyebrows as I wait for him to continue. “For me, I want complete submission. I am a sexual sadist who gets off on hitting willing women. I don’t do intimacy. I can’t. It is just not who I am.”

It takes me a couple of minutes to process everything that Alex has told me and I am confused. “I don’t get it,” I say, and I feel Alex finally turn and look me in the eyes. “You say you don’t do intimacy or gentle, yet you have been nothing but gentle with me. Yeah, I get that it doesn’t arouse you, but you are not incapable, as you have just said.” Alex goes to reply, but I continue on, “Okay, so what we did would not be classified by most people as ‘making love’, but afterwards you looked after me. You held me and made sure I was okay. If that’s not intimacy, then I don’t know what is.”

Alex stays quiet for a moment, processing my words. “But I was rough, and I bit you, for Christ sakes…”

“And I enjoyed it,” I interrupt. “Are you telling me that your subs don’t get off on that sort of thing?”

“Yes, but there are contracts, limits, safewords…” Alex trails off.

“Okay, but essentially this was the same, just with nothing formal. If I had said stop at any time, would you have?” I ask.

“Of course!” Alex exclaims loudly. His body is like a tightly coiled spring, just waiting to erupt.

“So what’s the problem then?” I ask.

“How the hell do you know about any of this?” Alex suddenly asks, his eyes narrowing as he contemplates me.

I feel a blush spreading across my cheeks. “Um, I spent the last week researching pretty much everything about BDSM,” I say quietly. “I wanted to understand you. I wanted to understand
my
reaction to you.”

“And what reaction was that?” Alex asks, and at last I see a little of his trademark smirk falling back into place.

“When you told me what you wanted me to do in your Domly voice, it was like nothing else mattered. Every thought went out the window and my body just responded like it knew I could trust that you would take care of me…and you did,” I say.

“Domly voice?” Alex asks, looking a little perplexed.

“Yup,” I say, letting out a small breath. “Completely different from your normal voice. I noticed you used a little of it when we met at the auction, but I guess I didn’t get the full shebang until New Year’s,” I joke, trying to lift the mood.

“I wasn’t aware I had a voice,” Alex responds. “So this research…how does it make you feel about all of this?” he says, sweeping an arm around the room.

“Nervous,” I say. “But a little excited too. I…I never knew that sex could be so carnal, and there was part of me that fucking loved it. Reading up on the psychology behind it all was really interesting, and I could pretty much pass a test if it came to naming everything on that wall,” I say, gesturing to the racks of canes, whips and other restraints. “But it is all a bit in the abstract, you know. I read a couple of BDSM novels and they aroused me, but I don’t really
know
what exactly it was that aroused me.” I glance up at Alex, suddenly feeling shy in my confession, and I see something in his eyes that instantly makes me wet.

“Then let’s find out, shall we?” Oh my, the Domly voice is back. Alex stands and takes a step back and I see that his posture has changed as well.

“Stand up, Olivia,” Alex orders, and I find myself complying without a second thought. “Take your clothes off, fold them neatly and leave them in a pile on the couch. Then I want you to return to this spot and face that wall,” he says, indicating to the wall across the room.

I do as I am told and moments later I am standing naked next to the platform, facing the far wall. I notice that my laptop and notebook have been removed and that a pair of leather cuffs is now lying on the cover. My breathing quickens and I can already feel the dampness between my legs as I watch Alex stride over to a rack and pick up a flogger. He runs his finger through the tails while he contemplates his choice. He goes to find a crop as well, before returning to me. I know my eyes must be the size of saucers, but I sense that he is building the anticipation.

“Lie down on the mattress on your front, arms above your head, resting your cheek on the cover,” Alex says. I do exactly as he asks and he strides around the platform confidently to where my wrists are. He quickly cuffs them before attaching them to a rope that comes out the side of the platform so that I can’t move my arms. Alex then moves behind me and I can see out of the corner of my eye that he now has a further two cuffs, which he attaches around each ankle and then secures them so that my legs are spread. I can feel the cool air between my thighs and I find myself squirming in expectancy.

A moment later Alex comes around and kneels in front of me, his eyes hard. “Choose a safeword,” he says. “Make sure it is something you can bring to mind readily.”

“Daisy,” I whisper, as my favourite flower springs to mind.

“Be aware that I am going to test your limits, so screaming, crying out ‘no’ or ‘stop’ won’t do anything. But if you really want this to stop, say ‘daisy’, and it will be over in an instant. Okay?”

“Okay,” I respond, knowing that I am about to walk into the unknown.

“Promise me!” Alex stresses, and I catch a glimpse of the soft side he seems to think he doesn’t possess.

“I promise,” I respond clearly.

Satisfied, Alex nods his head. “I am going to blindfold you now,” he says just before slipping the cloth over my eyes. Instantly I am in pitch black and my other senses are on high alert. I hear Alex moving about the room, and that only furthers the anticipation. Suddenly I hear music, some kind of soft drumming that seems to match the rhythm of my heartbeat. It is a little louder now, but I can still hear Alex’s movements.

I wait and I wait and then I feel it. The soft tails of the flogger caressing my skin as it makes a path down my neck, across my back and then across my butt cheeks. My nipples are erect, burning even, in my arousal and I can feel the dull throb in my pussy. The flogger continues its journey across my body and down my legs before returning upwards. I gasp as I feel it getting higher and higher, and then it is right in the apex of my thighs, running across my sensitive clit. I moan as the throb turns to shooting sparks of pleasure in my abdomen.

Then suddenly the flogger is gone. I wait a moment and then feel as it comes down on my bare behind. I am anticipating a stinging sensation, but instead I hear a light thud and all I feel is warmth spreading across the area where Alex has struck me. Then the flogger is back, running its tails across my skin before coming down on me, slightly harder this time. Alex repeats this action several times in time to the drumming, making my heart beat faster each time I anticipate each strike.

I am startled when I hear something drop on the floor and then I feel Alex shift me. Suddenly I feel two fingers thrust into my wet, needy pussy and I let out a low moan. “Someone is enjoying this,” Alex states. “And you taste so fucking good. I think it is time to take this up a notch.”