Authors: Maureen Child
“Lying again.”
She tossed the brush down. “Stop telling me when I’m lying. It’s rude.”
“Then stop lying.”
“Same to you.”
“I’m not lying now,” he said. “I still want you.”
“Me, too.”
“Damn it, Alex.”
“Shut up and kiss me, Garrett.”
He did and Alex’s brain went on hiatus again. Soon, she would be able to sit back and regret this at her leisure. But at the moment, all she could think was how right it felt. How good it was to be in his arms again. To have his mouth fused to hers.
He lifted her and carried her to the bed and when he set her down onto the mattress, she looked up into icy-blue eyes that sparked and shone with the kind of need that shook her to the bone.
For now, that was enough.
Three days later, Garrett was on the edge with no way out.
Now that she knew who he was, Alex seemed to delight in making him nuts. She insisted on walking down crowded sidewalks, going shopping through packed malls and even driving to San Diego to visit SeaWorld. It was as if she had determined to make him earn every dime of his paycheck from her father.
It was a security expert’s nightmare.
Garrett knew damn well it was only a matter of time before her identity was revealed. Someone, somewhere, was going to recognize her and then he’d be hip-deep in paparazzi, reporters and general nutcases, all trying to get close to the visiting princess.
But short of locking her into her penthouse, he didn’t have a clue how to keep her from being noticed. A woman like Alex got people’s attention. She was tall, gorgeous and had a perpetual smile on her face that seemed to welcome conversations with strangers. He hovered as closely as he could and still it wasn’t enough.
His mind filled with ugly possibilities. He’d seen enough damage done over the years to be prepared for the absolute worst—his brain dredging up any number of horrific scenarios. And it killed him to think of anything happening to Alex.
Which was only natural, he assured himself. After all, she was in his care. Of course he’d be worried about her—that was his
job
. And that was all it was.
Garrett’s trained gaze swept the room as he deliberately tried to become invisible, as any good bodyguard would. But, being the only man in a homeless shelter that catered to women and kids made Garrett’s job harder. He stood out like Death at the Party. He caught the glances tossed his way and was sorry to know he was making some of the women here really uncomfortable. But damned if he was going to let Alex out of his sight.
The woman continued to press her luck and push him closer and closer to the ragged edge of control. Today, she had insisted on visiting a women’s shelter to compare their setup with the program she knew at home.
Jane, the woman in charge, hadn’t had a problem with his presence—but she had asked him to stay out of the way and that he was willing to do. Better all the way around for a protection detail to blend into the background as much as possible. It gave him eyes and ears to the place without attracting attention himself.
Watching Alex move around the room with the director, Garrett felt his admiration for her grow. She wasn’t here as a princess. She had introduced herself as a fellow volunteer, visiting from Europe. And in a few short minutes, she and Jane had been chatting like old friends.
While Alex looked at the facility and met a few of the residents, Garrett watched
her
. She fit in any damn where, he thought and wondered at how easily Alex dismissed
what
she was in favor of
who
she was. She was so much more than some dilettante royal. She was eager and involved and she
cared
for people and what she might do to help. It had nothing to do with her crown. This was her soul he was watching, and damned if he could look away.
“You a cop?”
Garrett jolted out of his daydreams, gave himself a mental kick for being caught unaware and then looked down at the little boy staring up at him with wide brown eyes. “No, I’m not a cop.”
“Look like one,” the boy said, giving Garrett a gap-toothed smile. “You’re all straight and stiff like one.”
Great. He was doing such a good job being invisible that a five-year-old had made him. Alex really was throwing him off his game.
One corner of his mouth lifted in a smile. “You stand up straight, you get taller.”
Those brown eyes went as big as saucers. “Tall as you?”
“Taller,” Garrett assured him and instantly, the kid squared his shoulders, straightened his spine and lifted his chin. All forty pounds of him.
“Is she your girlfriend?”
That question came unexpectedly, though why it had, he didn’t know. He’d spent enough time around his cousin’s kids to know that they said pretty much whatever popped into their heads. “No,” he said, shifting his gaze back to Alex. “She’s a friend.”
“She’s nice,” the boy said. “Pretty, too, and she smells good.”
“Yeah,” Garrett said, still watching Alex. “You’re right.”
“You should make her your girlfriend.”
Intrigued, he shot the kid a look and asked, “Yeah? Why’s that?”
“Because she smiles when she looks at you and that’s nice. Besides, she’s
pretty
.”
“Timmy!” A woman shouted from across the room and the little boy trotted off, leaving Garrett staring after him.
Out of the mouths of babes, he mused. He looked up, caught Alex’s eye and she flashed him one of those smiles that seemed designed to knock him off balance. In a flash, he remembered her under him, over him. The feel of her skin, the taste of her mouth, the scent of her, surrounding him.
As if she knew exactly what he was thinking, her smile slipped into something more private. More…intimate. And Garrett was once again hit with the knowledge that he’d fallen into a hole that just kept getting deeper.
Alex very much enjoyed watching Garrett go quietly insane at the beach. It was a lovely day to sit on the sand and enjoy the last of summer. There were only a handful of people there, including a few children busily building sand walls in an attempt to hold back the inexorable rush of the tide. Sandpipers and seagulls strutted along the shoreline and surfers sat atop their boards waiting for the perfect ride.
Everyone was having a good time, she thought. Everyone, that is, but Garrett King.
Honestly, it was simply too easy to push the man’s buttons. And Alex had discovered just how much fun it could be. The man was determined to keep her at a distance. He hadn’t touched her since that one night they’d spent together. Her heart hurt and her body ached for his and so, she had decided to make him as uncomfortable as possible with his decision to leave her alone.
If she was going to be miserable, then she would do everything she could to make sure he was, too. She challenged him, worried him and in general made his time with her as difficult as possible. She flirted with him outrageously and watched him fight his own desires to keep his professionalism at the fore.
With his serious “bodyguard” expression, he kept most people at bay. But those who weren’t the least bit intimidated slipped past him, much to Alex’s delight. Because then she flirted with other men, just to watch Garrett’s instant, infuriated response.
Take for example the surfer who was right now giving her a wink and a smile before heading for the water. If she weren’t in love with a perfectly infuriating man, she would very well be tempted to take the other man up on his not-so-subtle offer.
“He’s short,” Garrett muttered from behind her.
She smiled to herself, nodded at the surfer and said, “He’s at least six feet tall.”
“Shorter than me, then,” Garrett said tightly.
“Most people are,” she returned. “Hardly a crime.”
“He’s at least thirty and he’s at the beach in the middle of the week.”
“So are you,” she pointed out, glancing over her shoulder at the man in black who was glowering at the rest of humanity. Honestly, he looked like the Grim Reaper. No wonder most people tended to give her a wide berth.
“Yes, but I’m
working,
” he told her.
“And you never let me forget that, do you?” Alex gritted her teeth and turned her head back to watch the handsome surfer carry his board out to the water. His black wet suit clung to a fairly amazing body and his long, light brown hair was sun-streaked, telling her he spent most of his days in the sun. Perhaps Garrett was right and he was a layabout. She frowned at the thought.
“Alex, don’t start that again.”
“I didn’t start it, Garrett,” she told him, now ignoring the surfer to concentrate on the conversation she was having with the man who refused to get close to her. “I never do. You’re the one who consistently reminds me that I’m your
responsibility.
And I simply can’t tell you how flattering that is.”
He sighed. She heard it even from three feet away.
“But, even though it’s your
job
to watch over me,” she added, not for the first time, “it doesn’t give you the right to chase away any man who dares to look at me.”
“It is if I think they’re dangerous.”
She laughed outright at that comment and turned to stare at him. “Like the college student yesterday at the art gallery? That sweet young man who was so nervous he dropped his bottle of water?”
Garrett frowned. “He kept touching you.”
“It was
crowded
in that shop.”
“That’s what he wanted you to think. He wasn’t nervous, Alex. He was on the prowl. He kept bumping into you.
Touching
you.” Scowling, he picked up a handful of sand and let it drift through his fingers. “It wasn’t that crowded.”
“Well, certainly not after you threw the poor soul up against a wall and frisked him!”
He smiled at the memory. “Did discourage him quick enough, didn’t it?”
“And half the gallery,” she pointed out. “People scattered, thinking you were a crazy person.”
“Yeah…” He was still smiling.
“You’re impossible. You know that, don’t you?”
“If I hadn’t known it before I met you, I do now. You tell me often enough.”
“And yet you don’t listen.” Pushing up from the sand, Alex dusted off the seat of her white shorts and snatched up the sandals she had kicked off when they first arrived. Walking to him, she looked down into Garrett’s eyes and said, “You might want to ask yourself why you take it so personally when another man looks at me. Or talks to me.”
“You know why,” he muttered, keeping his gaze fixed on hers.
“Yes, the job.” She went down to one knee in front of him. “But I think it’s more than that, Garrett. I think it’s much more, but you’re too much of a coward to admit it.”
His features went like granite, and Alex knew she’d struck a nerve. Well, good. Happy to know it.
So quickly she hardly saw him move, he reached out, grabbed her and pulled her close. Then he gave her a brief, hard kiss before letting her go again. Shaking his head, he stood up, then took her hand and drew her to her feet as well.
“You keep pushing me, Alex, and you never know what might happen.”
“And that, Garrett,” she said, licking her lips and giving him a small victory smile, “is the fun part.”
Eleven
“I quit.”
“I beg your pardon?”
Garrett winced at the snooty tone the King of Cadria could produce. He had known going in that this phone call wouldn’t go well, but there was nothing to be done about it. Garrett was through working for the king, and Alex’s father was just going to have to deal with it.
“You heard me correctly, your majesty,” he said, leaning back in his desk chair. The study in his home was dark, filled with shadows in every corner. A single lamp on his desk wasn’t enough to chase them away—seemed like a pretty good metaphor for his life at the moment, he thought, surprised at the poetic train his mind was taking. But there were shadows in Garrett’s past, too. Always there. Always ready to pounce. And the light that was Alex—though damn brighter than anything he’d ever known—still couldn’t get rid of all those dark places.
So there was really only one thing to do. “I quit as your daughter’s bodyguard.”
The king blustered and shouted and Garrett let him go. He figured he owed it to the man to let him get it all out of his system. And while a royal father thousands of miles away ranted and raged, Garrett’s mind turned to that afternoon on the beach. The look in Alex’s eyes. The taste of her.
These past few days had been torturous. He couldn’t be with her without wanting her and he couldn’t have her as long as he was responsible for her safety. But the whole truth was, he couldn’t have her,
period.
Even if he gave in to what he wanted, what would it gain either of them? Soon she’d be going home to a damn palace. He would be here, in California running his business. He wasn’t looking to be in love or to be married. But even if he were, she was a princess and there was just no way Garrett could compete with that. Oh, he was rich enough to give her the kind of house and servants she was used to. But he didn’t have the pedigree her family would expect of a man wanting to be with Alex.
He was a King, and he was damn proud of it. The problem was, she was the daughter of a
king
.
No. There was nothing ahead for them but more misery and, thanks very much, but he’d rather skip that part of the festivities.
Sitting forward, he braced his elbow on the desktop and only half listened to the king on the other end of the line. Whatever the man said wouldn’t change Garrett’s mind. He already knew he was doing the only thing possible. For both of them.
“Mr. King,” Alex’s father was sputtering, “you cannot simply walk away from my daughter’s safety without so much as a warning. I will need time to—”
Enough was enough.
“Sir, I won’t take money from you to watch over Alex,” Garrett finally interrupted the king and the other man’s abrupt silence told him the king wasn’t used to that kind of treatment. Just one more nugget of proof that Garrett King and royalty were never going to be a good mix. “But, that said,” he continued into the quiet, “I won’t leave her out there alone, either. On my own, I’ll watch out for her until she’s on a plane headed home.”
“May I ask
why
you’ve decided to leave my employ?”
Touchy question, Garrett told himself. He could hardly confess to the king that he didn’t want to be taking money from the father of the woman he wanted in his bed. That might be enough for a beheading in Cadria, for all Garrett knew.
“Let’s just say, Alex and I have become friends. And I feel badly taking money from her father.”
There was a long silence, and then the king gave a tired sigh. Garrett sympathized. Couldn’t be easy being thousands of miles away from someone you worried about. “Fine then. I appreciate your help in this, Mr. King, and it won’t be forgotten.”
Long after the king hung up, Garrett sat in his darkened study and stared at nothing. No, he thought. None of this would be forgotten.
Ever.
The late-night knock on Alex’s door startled her.
She tossed the book she had been reading to the sofa cushion beside her. Jumping up from the couch, she tugged at the belt of her blue silk robe and crossed the room with hesitant steps. She wasn’t expecting anyone and the desk always called before they disturbed her. And just who would have been able to get onto the penthouse elevator besides… She looked through the peephole and saw Garrett staring back at her.
Her heart did a slow roll in her chest as her nerves drained away and an entirely different emotion charged to the surface. She leaned her forehead on the cool, painted surface of the door and took a breath. Would the man always have this effect on her? Would one look at him always be enough to turn her knees to water?
Shaking her head, she steadied herself, then fumbled with the locks and opened the door to him. “Garrett. I didn’t expect to see you until tomorrow.”
“Yeah,” he muttered, stepping past her to enter the suite. “Something’s come up.”
She frowned as he walked into the room, careful not to get close enough to brush against her. Alex noticed that his features were grim, his cheeks shadowed by beard stubble and his hair looked as if he’d been running his fingers through it for hours.
“Garrett? Is something wrong?”
He laughed shortly and turned to look at her. His eyes were dark and filled with charged emotions too deep to name. Shoving his hands into the back pockets of his worn jeans, he just looked at her for a long minute before saying, “Just came to tell you something. You win.”
“What?”
Shaking his head, he blew out a breath and said, “I talked to your father a while ago. Told him I quit.”
“You did?” All right, she should be pleased, and yet, the look on his face told her that more was coming and that she wasn’t going to like it.
“Told him I couldn’t take money from him for keeping you safe.”
She took a single step toward him. “Why, Garrett? Why would you do that?”
“You know why.” His gaze swept her up and down before settling on her eyes again. “But that doesn’t mean I’m backing off, Alex. I’m still going to be there. Every day. Making sure nothing happens to you.”
“Garrett.” She reached up and cupped his cheek in her palm. “Nothing’s going to happen to me.”
He caught her hand in his and held on. His shadow-filled eyes locked with hers and flashed with steely determination. “Damn straight, it’s not.”
Her hand trapped in his tight grip, she could only stare up at him. “Garrett, you’re even more crazed about protecting me than the palace guards. Why?”
“Because I won’t fail again.”
“Fail? Fail how?”
He released her, turned and walked to the couch and looked down at the book, spine up on the cushions. He snorted. “Romance novel?”
“There’s nothing wrong with a happy ending,” she said.
“Happy endings are fictional, Alex.”
“They don’t have to be.”
He turned back to face her. “You don’t get it.” A choked off laugh shot from his throat. “No reason why you should.”
Alex was standing not two feet from him and yet she felt distance stretching out between them. The pale light of her reading lamp was a golden circle in the darkness, reaching for Garrett and not quite making it. Absently she noted the soft roar of the ocean, like an extra heartbeat in the room.
“Then explain it to me, Garrett. Tell me what’s driving you.”
He reached up, scraped both palms across his face and then shoved them through his hair. When he’d finished, he looked at her and his eyes were bleak, sending a thread of worry sliding through Alex’s body.
When he spoke, his voice was rough and low, as if he regretted saying the words even before they were out of his mouth. “About ten years ago, I was hired to be a bodyguard for the daughter of a very wealthy man.”
Alex held her breath and stayed perfectly still. Finally, she was going to get to the heart of the problem and she didn’t want to risk interrupting him. Yet at the same time, she couldn’t fight the notion that once he said what he had to, nothing would be the same. For either of them.
“Her name was Kara.” A smile briefly twisted his mouth and was gone again in a blink. “She was beautiful and stubborn and smart. A lot like you, really.”
A trickle of cold began to snake down her spine and still, she remained quiet.
“I got…distracted,” he said and once again shoved a hand through his hair as if somehow he could wipe away the memories swarming in his mind. “I fell in love with her—”
Pain was swift and sharp. Jealousy dug its talons into her heart and twisted. And just as quickly, it all faded away. He had loved, but it was ten years ago and obviously it hadn’t ended well. She forced herself to ask, “What happened?”
“I quit my job,” he said, and swept the room with his troubled gaze before looking back at her. “Knew I couldn’t protect Kara with my focus splintered. Told her father I wouldn’t be responsible for her life anymore and I left. Two days later, Kara ditched her new guard and ran away. The letter she left behind said she was running to me. She never got there. She was kidnapped and killed.”
“God, Garrett…”
“I won’t let that happen to you.”
Sympathy briefly warred with frustration inside her. Frustration won. “What makes you think it would? One tragedy doesn’t always signal another.”
“I know. But even getting past that, it’s not just Kara. It’s you and me. We’re too different, Alex. Our worlds are light years apart.” He shook his head and she felt the finality of that one single action. His features were tight, implacable. His voice a promise as he added, “I’m not looking to fall in love, Alex. What would be the point?”
Her heart gave a sudden lurch in her chest, and it felt as if a ball of lead had dropped into the pit of her stomach. He was walking away from her. Without even trying. Without a backward glance. Tears filled her eyes but she furiously blinked them back. She wasn’t about to let him see her
cry
. What would be the point anyway?
Whatever she had convinced herself they shared, in reality, it was no more than a holiday fling. A summer romance doomed to die at the end of the season. She loved a man determined to not love her back, and there didn’t seem to be a thing she could do to change it.
And would she if she could?
She had her pride after all. And that emotion was leading the charge when she snapped, “I never said anything about love, Garrett.”
“Please.” He gave her a patient, tired smile that made her want to kick something. “I can see it in your face, feel it in your touch. Alex, you’re looking for something I can’t give you.”
She felt the sting of those words, and actually swayed in place when they hit her. But she kept her chin lifted and her eyes defiant as she corrected, “Not can’t.
Won’t
.”
“Same thing,” he said, folding his arms across his chest and glaring down at her.
“For a man who prides himself on seeing every possible angle of every possible situation, you’re surprisingly blind.”
“Is that right?”
“It is,” she answered and took a step closer to him. Her gaze fixed with his. “This isn’t even about
me,
Garrett. It’s about you and how you look at your life. I’m sorry about Kara. But that wasn’t your fault. Bad things happen. You can’t stop them. You can only live your life in spite of them.”
“She left her guards because of me,” he told her flatly. “If I hadn’t gotten involved with her, she’d be alive today.”
“You don’t know that,” she told him and saw denial in his eyes. “You’re not God, Garrett. You don’t have the power of life and death, and you can’t personally protect everyone you care about.”
“But I can limit those I care about,” he said softly.
“So rather than love and risk the pain of losing it, you would make your own world smaller so maybe danger won’t notice you? Maybe your circle of loved ones will be tiny enough that nothing bad will touch you?”
He didn’t say anything to that, but then, he didn’t have to. Alex knew now for certain that what they had was over. He could stay and watch over her as he’d said he would, but there would be no more lovemaking. No more flirtatious fun. No more laughter. There would be only Garrett, in his role of knight errant ready to do battle in defense of his charge.
And that wasn’t enough for Alex. Not nearly enough.
Sadly, she shook her head and said, “The difference between you and me is, I won’t deny myself something wonderful for fear of losing it.”
“That’s because you’ve never lost.”