To Love a King (Court of Annwyn) (20 page)

She turned and tied it around his arm and kissed his cheek.

People clapped. Were they actually happy or just glad this would finally be decided?

He would be glad when it was over.

He glanced over at Sulia on the other side of the chamber. It looked as though Sulia had a slight advantage in numbers.
Damn
her
to
the
river
and
drown
her
twice.
The only reason she had more supporters was because the heir in her stomach was a sure thing. At least the formal battle took away those odds. Tomorrow they would be equal.

Sulia met his gaze, turned her head away, and swept out of the hall, no doubt to start planning and preparations. He had hoped Sulia would back down when she realized he wasn’t going to. If she had really expected him to tuck tail and run, she’d underestimated him. Maybe that would help with the coming battle. He looked at his father. He seemed more at ease. Perhaps the knowledge that one way or another this would be over had settled his heart.

“Would you like to go to the great hall or your chambers?”

“No. I’m going to stay here. This is where I have ruled from and this is where I shall remain. Have the shadows bring us food and wine.”

Felan closed his eyes for a moment, but they felt gritty and they stung. He should’ve acted sooner. He should’ve noticed his father’s strength waning, but Gwyn had hidden it well, right up until his wife’s imprisonment. He wouldn’t make the same mistake. He’d rather hand the throne over early and live out the rest of his days in exile. He would make sure his child knew that, so there would be no winter next time.

“I’m sorry.” This wasn’t how his father’s life should end. More snow was falling now. By morning they would be wading through it, not just leaving footprints. How fast could he pull Annwyn out of this winter? Even if he stopped winter from lingering, how did he explain to the Court that he’d promised Jacqui a long spring before they had their child?

“No. You don’t have time for regrets and nor do I. I knew it would end like this. I should have warned you that Sulia was your cousin instead of keeping it secret.”

“I don’t blame you.” No matter what his father had done, Sulia and Eyra would’ve created trouble. He should’ve realized earlier that there would be a fight for the throne.

“But you want to know why I didn’t have her banished. For many years I wasn’t sure myself if you could rule. I doubted you, and it created the distance that is here now. I should’ve told you to bring Caspian’s mother here and forced your hand.” The King drew a breath and eased himself to the cushions on the floor. He had no right to sit on the throne anymore. “But I never wanted you to end up like me.” He looked at Jacqui.

How long had Gwyn known about Caspian? Obviously for far longer than Felan had thought. So much for keeping things secret…what else did his father know and hadn’t revealed?

“I’m glad you are here. I hope your heart is better than my wife’s.” He turned his icy gaze to Felan. “I hope for everyone’s sake you win tomorrow.” The King paused and sighed. “Verden should’ve been here.”

“Even if you lifted the banishment, he is stuck on the other side of the veil.”

“I don’t have the strength to lift banishments or exiles. Tell him I am sorry. My pride was all I had left.”

“He understands and holds no ill will.” Verden knew how the Court worked and knew he’d screwed up in pursuing Taryn publicly.

“Tell him I valued his council while he served me.”

“You will see him after the battle.”

His father just looked at him. No words needed to be spoken. He wasn’t expecting to live that long and was regretting sending one of his friends away from Court.

A shadow servant placed food and drink next to Gwyn. There was very little. Whatever supplies they had would dwindle fast with no access to the mortal world.

“Don’t linger here, Son. Do what you need to and make me proud.” Gwyn gave him a single nod and a smile. He was dismissed. It was the same way he’d been dismissed so many times before, but this time it felt like the last time.

He couldn’t breathe. “I will come back before the battle.”

His father grabbed his hand. “Don’t torment yourself over my passing. Think to the future.”

Felan nodded, even though he knew he couldn’t do as his father asked. For so long he’d been wary of him, afraid that his every move would be considered treason and an attempt to take the throne. Now he saw his father would have welcomed the reprieve. It was just his mother who would have fought tooth and nail to hold on to the power.

She would be well pleased with Sulia.

“You will get cold sitting here.”

“I’m already cold. I have been part of Annwyn for so long that the winter is within me.”

“Father—”

The King lifted his hand. “The shadows can bring me what I need. Go.”

He couldn’t disobey his father’s last order. He turned around to face Jacqui; she was making a point of not looking at the exchange between him and his father. Felan blinked a few times to clear his vision. “Come on. Let’s eat and rest. Tomorrow will be a long day, even by Annwyn standards.”

For a moment Jacqui just looked at Felan, not sure what to say to him or his father. Or even if she should say anything. She glanced at both men, but neither held her gaze. Maybe there was nothing to say when everything hinged on the tomorrow’s battle. How many days were passing in the mortal world while she was here? How many humans were dying?

“Don’t think about what you can’t change,” Felan said, but it seemed he was saying it more for his own benefit than hers.

There was nothing she could do to help or hinder the battle…she couldn’t even flee if she changed her mind and decided this was all too much. Then she looked at Felan and realized that he didn’t even have that option. He had to make the best of what he had, which meant he had to rule.

He took her hand and led her out of the chamber, snow now dusting his coat and hair, his skin cold to touch. She turned back to look at the King. Shadow servants were setting up a canopy to protect the old fairy, and bringing more cushions and food.

“Won’t he get cold?”

Felan shook his head and kept walking as if he couldn’t bear to turn around and see what his father had become. “Fairies are part of Annwyn. It feels cool but not cold.”

“You feel cold to touch.”

He glanced at her. “No, my body is colder because of Annwyn. If a new King or Queen isn’t crowned, Annwyn will eventually die and so will all fairies.”

“And my world?” Did none of them ever really stop and think of the billions of humans?

“There will be death and disease, but after a time things will settle and it will be as it was before we took over the in-between and called it Annwyn.”

Jacqui stopped walking. There had been a time before Annwyn. She’d imagined the fairies had always been here. “What happened before Annwyn?”

“This place still existed and souls still came here…” He grimaced. “When we took over, instead of just visiting, we upset the balance. Instead of souls finding their own way to where they needed to go, they remained. We had to start sending them and it became the King’s job.”

“And the river?”

“Has always been and always will be. There will always be breaches in the veil.”

“So all fairies came from my world, then moved here, and now humans are dependent on fairies to get to the afterlife?” Wow, had humans got it wrong or what? The old religions were closer to the truth than most realized.

“I don’t think that was what my predecessors had in mind. They were fleeing from humans who’d developed iron weapons. Wild fae still exist in your world, in the wilds and untouched places, but their numbers dwindle.” He had that look in his eyes, the one where he was thinking big. At least that was better than the barely restrained sorrow.

“You have plans.”

He drew in a breath. “I do. There is a lot here that needs fixing that has become corrupt and shallow. But it will take time, centuries in your time.” He placed his hand on her stomach. “I want a better Annwyn than what I had for our child.”

She smiled. He might be fairy, but he still wanted what every father wanted—something better for their child. A brighter future, an easier life. Her heart swelled with love. She had made the right choice in Felan, and she’d known that his heart was true all those years ago.

He put his arm around her and kissed her forehead. “I will take you to the singing stones so you can hear the stories, but not tonight.”

“What happens tomorrow?” She didn’t want to think about it, but she knew she couldn’t hide. That time was over.

“Weapons are checked, everyone forms up, and we fight until one side surrenders or there is only one side left standing.”

“Your only options are win or death.” Her fingers curled against the soft fabric of his coat. She didn’t want to lose him after only just finding him again.

“If I am killed, she will not let you live.”

She’d already had that unsettling thought. “Is there no secret exit?”

“It got destroyed, and none of the old doorways will work while Annwyn is sealed. If she wins, she won’t open the borders until you are found. I’m sorry.” He traced her cheek. “That was my gamble in sealing Annwyn off. It shortens the battle, but also traps everyone here until the end.”

She nodded, understanding that he was doing what was best for both worlds. “What can I do to help?”

“You cannot fight. For two reasons: you don’t know how and because consorts don’t fight.”

“What do I do? I can’t sit around and wait.” She wasn’t sure she’d even be able to watch.

He didn’t answer. Did he think she could do nothing useful?

She drew back from his embrace. “I can help the wounded.”

“I want you to be safe—Sulia would break the rules and shoot you with an arrow just so I lose by default.”

“What will Stuart be doing?”

“Probably licking his balls like the cur he is. Come on, let’s go to my chamber. I’ll need to talk to Dylis and Bramwel anyway, and I don’t want to do it in public.”

She stiffened at the mention of Dylis’s name. While the fairy had been nothing but helpful, and hadn’t even looked at Felan with a glint in her eye, she needed to know more about Dylis even though she wasn’t sure she wanted to.

They walked down the corridor, shadow servants clinging to the walls, ready to obey immediately. She didn’t think she’d ever get used to them.

“Did you dump Dylis because you came back for me?”

“No. Bramwel was freed, and we both knew it was nothing but…what’s the phrase? Friends with benefits.”

“So we were apart for what felt like months, but you still managed to hook up.” There was more bite to her words than she’d planned.

“It wasn’t like that. The first time cemented a deal we’d made on top of what we’d already agreed to. Then it became convenient. I didn’t have to pretend I was interested in any other woman at Court when my heart wasn’t in it. She became my excuse.” He stopped and pushed a key into a door. The lock turned with a click. “Besides, I wasn’t expecting you to have been celibate.”

And she hadn’t been. It was just that she’d had seven years to fill. “I had longer to get over you.”

“Sex here doesn’t have the same emotion attached to it. For the most part, it’s an itch to scratch, a deal, a power play. Few fairies get their hearts involved. However, once the heart is traded, few fairies go elsewhere until they want a child.” He cupped her cheek. “You need not fear I’ll stray or make new deals.” He kissed her lips. “I won’t.”

She lifted her chin to claim his mouth better, her tongue gliding over his lip before darting inside and dancing with his.

When they paused for breath, she whispered, “I just needed to be sure.”

Her life was now riding on what Felan did. If they survived tomorrow, they had a long life ahead of them and Dylis was always going to be around.

“Bramwel would call me out if he thought anything was still happening. He’s more dangerous than he looks.”

Jacqui laughed. That could be said for all fairies. They looked like they belonged on the cover of an expensive fashion magazine. She placed her hand on Felan’s chest. “War council first?”

He shook his head, heat burning in his eyes. “No, I want a few moments alone with you, to remember why I’m fighting and what I have to lose.” He kissed her again as he brought her into his chamber and closed the door.

Her back was against the cool trunk of a tree. His body pressed to hers. She could easily forget how cold it was as her body warmed to his touch. He opened the buttons on her coat and slid his hands beneath her shirt. His skin was cool, but his touch left ribbons of heat on her flesh. She shivered with anticipation.

He paused. “Cold?”

“No.” How could she be when she was with him, his fingers sliding over her bra and teasing her nipple into a hard peak?

She opened his jacket and pushed it off his shoulders. He shrugged his arms free, his purple ribbon falling on the floor, before tackling the button on her jeans and dragging them down her legs. She wriggled out of her jeans and boots, while he made things more difficult by kissing her inner thigh and running his finger over her panties so her breath hitched with every touch. She wanted his hand on her skin; she wanted him inside her.

He drew her panties aside and flicked his tongue over her clit. She arched back against the wall and dug her fingers into his shoulders as his tongue traced her slick folds. Her eyes closed as she waited for the next touch, for his fingers to ease into her, to touch and tease. Heat pooled in her belly and drew her nerves tight. His tongue circling and dipping, and just when she didn’t think she could take it anymore and her legs were beginning to shake, he stopped.

She drew in a shaky breath as he pulled her panties down, and she stepped out of them. As he stood, he undid his pants. He lifted her, and her legs wrapped around his hips as he sank into her. She moaned as he pushed her higher up the wall, his breath on her skin, her arms around his neck, locked together.

Each thrust brought her closer. She gasped as pleasure rushed through her body. He groaned and pressed deep a couple more times before stilling. Leaning against the wall, they rested together until their breathing returned to normal and she became aware of the cool touch of his skin against hers.

Annwyn needed to return to summer so he would be warm again, the way she remembered him being.

He eased her down so her feet touched the ground. As she redressed, she glanced around his chamber for the first time. The bed was formed from tree limbs, swathes of fabric hung from branches like curtains for privacy. There was a nook full of clothing, but there was more clothing scattered and hanging from branches as if he hadn’t gotten around to putting things away or sending them to get cleaned—she assumed they got cleaned somehow. Not all of the furniture was part of the castle, there were also some freestanding items that he must have brought across from her world. A dressing table covered in trinkets and things, a chair, and a mirror that was cradled by branches.

Soft light filled the chamber through the openings in the walls, where the tree trunks didn’t quite meet. Unlike the big public chambers, his room had a ceiling made of branches, so there was no snow. She tried to imagine it green and covered in leaves, instead of bare and cold, but failed. Her imagination didn’t seem to stretch that far.

Felan dropped his coat on a chair and sat. He smiled at her, but it didn’t wipe the worry from his face. She was sure that he’d changed since they’d been here, his looks becoming sharper, like a hungry wolf. Winter was in all the fairies, not just the old King.

“I’d offer you a bath, but there will be no spare water. The privy is behind that curtain and down a ways—but it is private. The benefit of being the Prince.” But the way he said it didn’t make it sound like being Prince was worth the private bathroom.

“No spare water?”

“We are effectively trapped, besieged.”

“But you did it.” How much spare food and water did Annwyn have?

“To stop Sulia from getting fresh supplies. It is a double-edged sword.” He raked his fingers through his hair. “I’m going to get Dylis and Bramwel in here—are you all right with that, or did you want to sleep?”

Sleep would be good, but she wasn’t sure it would come. The anxiety was building again. The doubt—that they would fail or that they would win and she wouldn’t be pregnant. Her hand slid over her stomach. No, not fail to be pregnant, fail to stay pregnant, because she knew something was happening, could feel it at the edges of her mind as if the magic was still humming in her blood and taking effect.

Felan watched the movement. Was he as worried as her?

They could worry if they won.

“It’s fine. I don’t know how well I’d sleep anyway.” She ducked behind the curtain and down the narrow corridor to see what passed for a bathroom in Annwyn.

***

After talking with the only people he knew he could trust one hundred percent about tactic and strategy, Felan had managed to sleep. He was sure Jacqui had also, though he wasn’t sure either of them had slept particularly well. He lay still for a few moments longer, his chamber gray and dull in the early morning light. In summer it would be bathed in gold and the leaves would rustle softly. He longed for the warmth that had vanished so quickly, autumn but a few days of orange and gold before it was gone.

That was what was wrong. Annwyn was too quiet, too eerie, as if it were a shadow of its former self—a ghost waiting to fade away or be given new life. He eased out of bed, not wanting to wake Jacqui. Beneath his feet, the floor was cold. He missed the tickle of the grass against his soles and the sweet smell as it was crushed with each step and the flowers that trailed from the ceiling and perfumed the air.

He washed in the small bowl of water in the bathroom, the ball of silver keeping it ripple free. For a moment he was tempted to lift it out just to see what would happen. Stepping into the vast ocean hadn’t killed him…but that had been in the mortal world, not here. And today he wasn’t willing to try.

Jacqui was awake when he walked back into the bedroom. “I thought you’d left already.”

“I wouldn’t go without a kiss for luck.” Or farewell. He knew the thought shouldn’t even be in his mind, but only a fool failed to look at all possible outcomes. He’d set the dice in motion, now he was waiting for them to land—hopefully in his favor.

Her lips curved, but it was forced. He knew exactly how she felt.

He picked up his clothing and started dressing. Plain, dark purple clothes—the winter purple that was almost black—the padded shirt, and then the silver chainmail. He didn’t bother with a cloak that could tangle around him. However, he put on two knives, one on his waist and one in his boot, plus his sword.

“What is Annwyn like in summer?”

Felan stopped and turned. “Like the most perfect day.” If he closed his eyes, he knew he could summon up the memory, even if he couldn’t feel the sun and heat on his skin. “Remember when we went hiking and had the picnic, how the place had felt deserted and yet full of life?” Birds and chipmunks and butterflies had been all around them, and even though the track had been less than twenty yards away it had felt as though they were the only people for miles. It hadn’t been too hot or cold but sunny and with a light breeze. It was as close to perfect as he could ever remember experiencing in the mortal world. That had been the day he’d told Jacqui what he was. They’d spent hours talking about what that had meant, and he’d seen the wariness in her eyes fade to acceptance and understanding. He hoped she’d have that same chance here. “It’s a lot like that. Magical and yet ordinary. And it will last until we cease to rule.”