To Love a King (Court of Annwyn) (16 page)

“My father.”

Did everyone know they had to make a baby tonight?

Felan gave her a half smile as if he knew exactly what she was thinking. “I borrowed it a while ago. He never asked for it back. I suspect he knew I’d need it.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I had so many things I wanted to tell you last night, but you didn’t want to listen to me. You wanted me to prove that I love you. I did. And have again. I want only you as the mother of my child.”

Jacqui raised one eyebrow. “That’s not as sexy as you think it sounds.”

“I’m not trying to be sexy. You would know if I was. We need to close this deal. This is business. I need a pregnant Queen.”

She wrinkled her nose. “I’m not having sex for business.”

“Then have sex with me because I’m going into a full Court meeting as the unpopular choice. Because if it all goes bad, this could be it. But if it goes well, then plan A is covered and you become Queen of Annwyn with me, and our child will be the future ruler—in a millennia or so.”

“And if I say no?” She wasn’t ready to get pregnant.

He shook his head as if he didn’t want to answer, then set his jaw and looked at her. “I don’t want to take that option, but I will if you don’t want my child.”

“I do.” That lump was back in her throat. “But I’m worried it will happen again. I’ve had less than a day to get used to the idea of having a child with you now…as opposed to in five years or so. What if it doesn’t grow in the right place? What hospital will you take me to in Annwyn? What happens to me then?”

“You don’t think I’ve thought of that every second of every day since you told me what happened? I don’t want to lose you. I will take you to the best mortal hospitals. Tell me what you need to make this happen and I will give you everything in my power.”

“I want more time to accept all of this. I want time for us.” They’d only just got back together. It was all happening too fast. She hadn’t planned on having children in the near future, not when she’d only just got her life sorted. But then she hadn’t planned on Felan coming back into her life in such a dramatic fashion either.

“That is the only thing I can’t give you. I believe in us. I never stopped loving you, I just didn’t know what it was or how to get it back and keep it safe. How to keep you safe.” He pressed his lips together and frowned. “Perhaps you can use the time difference between the mortal world and Annwyn in your favor, so the baby grows slower. Nine months in Annwyn is far longer than nine months in the mortal world. Traditionally, the Queen would spend time in the mortal world, so the baby would be born sooner and summer would return to Court.”

She nodded. That was better than nothing. She’d just be pregnant for a very long time…in mortal time anyway. No wonder Felan lost track of time between the two worlds so easily; it was already hurting her head. “I also want ultrasounds, early ones to make sure it is growing in the right place, that the baby is okay this time.”

Felan’s eyebrows pinched together as his frown deepened. “I don’t know what an ultrasound is.”

“It’s a scan. You can see the baby as it grows.”

“Really? You have technology that lets you see the baby inside you?” He seemed almost excited by the idea.

She risked a smile. “Yes.”

“Annwyn should have that magic.”

She nodded again. Annwyn
should
have that magic. She was sure there’d be plenty of fairies who’d love to be able to see their baby growing. “I also want to see my family again—not now, but after you are King.”

“You may come and go between worlds as you wish. But you won’t age, so we will need to think ahead, maybe glamours. I want you to be happy, Jacqui. I don’t want you to regret this choice, now or in two hundred years’ time or even two millennia.”

“What if I wanted a second child, like the Queen did?”

“Then we would have to talk.”

“We’re talking now.”

“If there are two heirs, then there will always be war for the throne.”

“That’s different than now because?”

“Neither of us has declared war. I might have to once you are in Annwyn if she won’t step down, but I see your point.” He studied her for a moment. “If you want a second child, you would have to have sex with a mortal.” He gritted his teeth. “I would let you, but I think I would want to be there. And what if I want a second child and you do not?”

She hesitated and realized that she couldn’t avoid the question when she had expected him to answer. “Then I am present.” Although the idea of seeing him with someone else would be gut wrenching, she was still thinking in human terms. Perhaps in a few centuries she’d think differently.

The corner of his lips curved. “You weren’t serious.”

“I wanted to know what your answer would be. A thousand years is a long time.”

“You’re thinking in mortal years. Time is different. In my mind, we weren’t apart for years. It doesn’t feel that long and yet I know that much time has passed. Even watching Caspian grow up through the mirrors, it was hard to see him change so much in what felt like a short amount of time.”

“It’s a good thing you didn’t wait too much longer, or I would have been old.”

He laughed. “After I’d gotten over the initial hurt, I checked on you in the mirrors. I needed to know you were all right. Any other requests?”

“You need to honest with me from here on. Tell me what you plan, what you want and need. I may not grasp the complexities of Court life at first, but give me a chance and I will.”

“I’ve tried to protect you.”

“Yet you gave me a mirror so I could see what you were dealing with.”

He sighed. “If I’d thrown all of this at you, you would have run. I remember you freaking out when I first told you that I wasn’t human.”

She smiled, remembering. “But I got over it. You need to trust me.”

“I do.”

“Do you? Do you really trust anyone?”

He hesitated. “No. Not completely.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “I want to. I want to be able to tell someone everything and see if they have any better ideas, but in that same breath, I fear they will turn on me and betray me for a better deal.”

“But everyone in this house is here for you.”

“Because of deals or blood. Dylis guarded my son because I could free her lover, Bram. He owes me his freedom, so he’s on my side. Verden supports me because I will overturn his penalty. Taryn only helps because she wants to be free of Court to be with Verden. No one is here because they want to be.”

“Caspian?”

“Is marked by blood. Sulia would use him against me if she could.”

“And what about me?”

“You are here because I didn’t tell you the whole truth before getting you to agree to be my wife.” His lips twisted into a bitter smile.

Jacqui slid off the bed. “I’m here because I love you…that doesn’t mean I’m letting you off the hook though.” She stood in front of him so he had to look her in the eye. “I want you to swear that you will tell me the truth and not hide the small print.”

“You want to make a deal with me?” Both his dark eyebrows lifted in surprise. “Most people don’t willingly make deals with fairies.”

“I’m not most people. I’m going to be your wife, mother of your child, and apparently savior of two worlds.” Most people didn’t wake up one day and find that they had to shrug off their soul for the greater good.

He looked at her for a moment. “You know most deals mortals make turn sour. You might hear truths you wish you could ignore.”

“Like what?” What nasty secrets was he hiding?

“Like I’m bringing forward my mother’s execution. If I wasn’t, we would’ve had more than just tonight. We would have had a few more days.”

“I need months, not days.”

“You have hours.”

“I know, and we are letting them slide by.” However, she wasn’t going to do anything until he agreed to stop giving her half-truths.

He was silent for several heartbeats. “I don’t want to bind you in a deal that will last for more time than you can imagine. I trust you with my heart; I will learn to trust you with Annwyn. Can you trust me?”

“I can.” She hoped he wouldn’t fail. Forever was a long time in Annwyn.

He swept her into his embrace, as if he couldn’t resist touching her any longer. She turned her head to catch his lips. His tongue flicked against her mouth and she opened to him, her body pressing against his. His hand slid down her back to cup her butt and keep her there. While heat flared, she was aware of the seriousness this time. It was more than fun. It was deliberate.

“You’re thinking,” he whispered.

“I can’t help it. It feels so premeditated.” They were going to have sex and make a baby with magic—tonight. Now. It was supposed to be fun and easy, not calculated like political strategy.

“The result is, but the rest isn’t.” He released her and shrugged out of his coat, letting it fall on the floor. Then he undid his belt and sword, and added them to the pile of clothes. “I think I still have sand in my boots.”

“You haven’t stopped to bathe?” He was in the same clothes, not just the same coat.

“I haven’t had time—in either world.” Then he was undoing his shirt and pulling off his boots.

She couldn’t do this that fast; she needed a moment to catch her breath. But she knew she only had a moment, and everything was racing ahead whether or not she was holding on or ready.

“Why don’t you go run a bath?” There was no way he’d have a quick shower. The ocean was one thing, but actual running water was another. The whole time she’d known him she’d never seen him have a shower. He’d wash his hands in a sink of water rather than under a running tap.

Felan looked at her, his shirt open, revealing the hard planes of his stomach and the narrow line of hair that disappeared into his trousers. He looked good, fit and lean, and in his prime, and he always would. As she would. She wouldn’t age anymore.

“Will you join me in the bath?”

“Yes.” That was an invitation she couldn’t refuse. She’d never been able to say no to him, which is what had gotten her into this situation in the first place. When she was around him, she stopped thinking with her head and used her heart instead. “I’ll bring some wine in.”

She needed a glass, or two, so she could stop thinking. Tomorrow she could think and worry. Tonight she just had to breathe and enjoy…and make a baby. No pressure. She was sure her one ovary just stopped working out of shock.

He wrapped his hand around the back of her neck and kissed her. “Don’t take too long. I wouldn’t want the water to get cold.”

“Remember you have to turn the taps on for the bath to fill.” She smiled against his lips, knowing that he hated even watching water run.

He flinched. “Are you sure you don’t want to get the bath going while I get the wine?” he said between kisses.

“You survived the ocean; you can turn on a tap.” She pulled away. “I’ll be back in a minute.” Her stomach was already a mass of tumbling knots, a mix of excitement and nerves.

She opened the bedroom door and slipped out. As much as she’d like to just stand in the hallway and gather up her courage before going downstairs, that wasn’t going to happen either. She didn’t want him to catch her in the hallway. She wanted it to look like she was cool and together, even though she knew he was pulling exactly the same trick. She’d seen the shadows in his eyes and the tension. He just wanted to get the next few days over with and move on, and she felt the same way. They would be together; they just had to push through.

With a smile on her face, she went downstairs, hoping she could slip into the kitchen, grab a bottle of wine, and run back upstairs before anyone saw her, but she never got that lucky.

Lydia and Caspian were sitting at the kitchen table along with Taryn and Dylis. They all looked up from their card game as she walked in. Did they all know what she was supposed to be doing? She swallowed and forced her smile a little wider. Did they even think she was Queen material?

“I just came down to get a bottle of wine.” She pointed at the pantry. “Is that okay?”

“Help yourself.” Lydia gave her a genuine smile that was betrayed by the sympathy in her eyes.

Great. They all know.

Dylis rested her chin on her hands. “Remind Felan that mortal wine is alcoholic.”

Taryn elbowed her. “Would you like candles or something else?”

That was when Jacqui felt the heat creep up her neck and burst on her cheeks. “No.” Would she ever have any privacy again? “Just some space.” Time, extra time. Another week, a month. A year would be better. She wasn’t ready to be someone’s mother.

She busied herself pretending to choose a bottle of wine. There was plenty to choose from. In the end, she went with a merlot, a soft red, mellow…it also had a screw top. She took two glasses out of the cupboard.

“You won’t need them,” Taryn said.

“I’m not swigging out of the bottle.” She wasn’t eighteen anymore.

“You need to drink from the horn.”

Oh.
She placed the glasses down. So much for normal and relaxing. They were still all looking at her. “I’ll just be going back upstairs.” Could this be more awkward?

Taryn got up and hugged her. “Good luck.”

That
would
be
it.

“Thank you. I think.”
Now
please
let
me
escape.
Her nerves had wound up even tighter, and she couldn’t be feeling less in the mood if she tried. Maybe a swig from the bottle on the way up wouldn’t be so bad.

She got to the kitchen door and glanced back. They had resumed their card game, but even that looked tense, as if they were trying to pass the time. Everyone was waiting. Everything was riding on the next few hours. She unscrewed the bottle and started up the stairs, but she didn’t take a drink. No, she’d do this right, and if that meant drinking from the old horn, she would.

By the time she reached the bathroom door, her heart was thumping like she’d run up and down the stairs a dozen times. The taps went off; she could picture him stripping off the last few items of clothing and waiting for the water to still before getting in. He was waiting for her. He needed her and wanted her. She could do this—after all, it really wasn’t anything she hadn’t done before.