Tolerance (Heart of Stone) (37 page)

Leaving me alone in the darkness I saw shapes shifting
and swirling on the walls, trying to reach out to me. The evilness from the
pits of hell, had they come for me? Finally ready to drag me down with them,
take over what was left of my soul and deliver it, take it where it belonged…in
hell! I cocked my head at them and I reached out to them too. I was ready,
ready to burn, ready to pay and ultimately ready to join Katie…But Katie
wouldn’t be in hell, she would be in heaven; she was everything that was good
and pure and she wouldn’t have been dragged down, she would have been flown
upwards to the heavens. I didn’t want to go with them…not to hell, even though
I knew that’s what I deserved.
 

I shook my head and reared back “No!” I gasped “No, I
don’t want to!” I scrambled up the bed, desperate to get away from them
“NOOOOOOOO!” I screamed as they came closer, now whispering my name “Ava, Ava,
Ava, Ava….” Over and over, their high pitched shrieks tearing at my ears and I
covered them with my hands “NOOOOOOO PLEASE!” I was trembling and sweat was
pouring from every pore on my body “I DON’T WANT TO GO” I sobbed as I crushed
my hands against my ears to block out their screeches.

Masons arms enveloped me and pulled me into him “Mason….stop
them, they’re trying to take me…don’t let them. I don’t want to go…Mason
pleaseeeee” I cried as he rocked me tightly to him “I won’t let them take you
baby, I promise. I won’t let anybody hurt you Ava” he whispered in my ear but I
shook my head vehemently “But you will…you let Dane hurt me…I know you will,
you’ll let them drag me down there. I don’t want to go to hell Mason. I want to
be in heaven with Katie and my mom…” I turned on to my knees and took his
hands, begging him “Please help me” I pleaded and his face crumpled “Baby….please
baby…Ava…” he sobbed.

 
Courtney came to
me “Go Mason, I’ll take care of her” she told him but he shook his head “I’m
not leaving her Courtney” he said but she pulled him away “Just ten minutes
Mason, just until your mum gets here. Go get a drink or something; she’ll be
fine with me. I promise” she urged and he sighed but nodded “Ten minutes. What
the hell’s wrong with her Courtney?” he asked.

She squatted down in front of him and wiped his tears
with her thumb “Mason she…she’s finally had enough. Her brain can’t cope with
everything…she’s having a breakdown” she told him softly and he swallowed and
bit his bottom lip “It’s my entire fault Courtney, I’ve done this to her!” he
sobbed

“Go, go and take a break Mason. Go and sit with your
babies, kiss them, snuggle them, just be with them for a little while” he gazed
at her then sighed and stood “Shout me if you need me” he said and she nodded
“I’ll be fine, go on” she turned to me and grasped my hands “I’m here Ava.
 
I won’t let them take you babe. I promise.
We’ll fight them off together” she told me.

I nodded frantically “Don’t let them Courtney. They want
my soul, they want to take me and burn me. Don’t let them” I implored my eyes
huge as I scanned the room at the shadows that refused to leave me. I huddled
into Courtney, tight into her as she embraced me and I closed my eyes, shut
them all out but I could still hear them, cackling and shrieking my name. I
cringed at the sound “TELL THEM TO SHUT UP!!!!” I cried as I covered my ears
again “Shush Ava” Courtney whispered as she clung to me “It’s okay babe,
they’ll be gone soon” I looked at her, my eyes wide and delirious and nodded
“Yes, Yes. They’ll go soon” I nodded again “Go!!!” I shouted to the shadows and
I froze as a shadow merged into a shape, a human form and I gasped “Katie?”

 
I laughed and
cried and reached for her “Katie, you came for me. I want to come with you
Katie…I’m ready Hun” I scrambled towards her but Courtney held me back “No Ava”
she said but I kept trying, I needed to get to Katie. She had come all this way
for me, to help me and take me with her “I’m coming Katie” I cried but
Courtneys arms got stronger

“Get off me” I shouted to her “I need to go with Katie” I
snarled at her, a proper snarl with my teeth bared and spit flying “GET OFF
ME!!!” I screamed at her but she wouldn’t let me go so I pushed her backwards.
Her eyes widened and she shook her head slowly “Ava please…I’m pregnant Ava,
don’t hurt me. I know you don’t want to” she beseeched but I looked at her in
disgust “Then let me go!” I spat but she shook her head.

I slapped her and slapped her again “MASON” she screamed
as I grabbed the top of her arms and shook her “LET ME GO” I screeched and
scrambled off the bed and onto the floor, crawling desperately to Katie.

Masons arms slipped round me and he braced me securely
“NOOOOOO!!” I screamed as Katie reached out to me one last time and then
disappeared. I kicked and wrestled against him “She’s gone you fucking
bastard…you fucking cunt…she went without me” I roared at him.

He still had a firm hold on me as he turned to Courtney
“You okay?” he asked “Yeah, just a slap” she shrugged but her eyes filled with
tears “Ring Sam” he stated bluntly and she nodded then left

“I hate you, I hate you” I spat at Mason as I struggled
against him “I know Ava, I know and right fucking now, I fucking hate me too”
he wrestled me onto the bed as the bedroom door opened and a woman I had never
seen before looked at us.

Her eyes looked pained and worried “Help me” I begged her,
I had no idea who she was but she looked like she might help, she had kind eyes
 
“They’re trying to drag me into hell but
I don’t want to go…Mason won’t let me go with Katie and I just want it to end…I
want to die!!!” I sobbed and she nodded at me “I know Sweetie, I’m gonna make
it all better for you” she smiled softly at me and stroked my hair.

“She’s very beautiful” she tipped her head at Mason and
smiled softly, her eyes warm and gentle “I remember her but she…she was
different then” she took a breath and cupped Masons cheek lovingly “Do you love
her?” she asked him gently and he nodded “Help her mum, stop what she’s doing
to herself, please…just…do something to help her” he begged and she nodded and
turned back to me.

She stroked my arm “You have beautiful skin Ava…so soft”
she said and I cocked my head as her voice mellowed me, soothed me; it was so
soft and quiet as her soft strokes lulled me

“Yes. My skin belongs to Mason, I don’t think you’re
allowed to touch me” I told her seriously. She smiled again as I felt Masons
hard grip on my arm and I felt a sharp scratch against my skin.

I dropped my head back as whiteness shrouded my vision
and my body relaxed, everything seemed to float and I could feel myself
slipping “Thank Y…”

My eyes were way too heavy and I felt sick, my mouth was
extremely dry and my face was sore. What the hell? I groaned against the
sunlight that was streaming through the open curtained window and I swallowed
at the dryness but the effort was too much.

My body felt heavy and tired and I dragged myself to the
edge of the bed and climbed onto the floor. I needed a drink desperately

“Whoa Ava” Mason appeared in front of me and lifted me
back onto the bed “Stay there baby” he smiled softly at me and stroked my hair
back “Drink” I rasped and he nodded and reached for a glass of water. He sat me
against the headboard and placed the glass against my lips and I gulped
greedily at it, the soothing liquid calming my throat instantly “Thank you” I
smiled faintly at him and pursed his lips “How you feeling?” he asked
hesitantly and I shrugged “My head hurts and I feel a bit sick. How much did I
drink?” I squinted against the light in the room.

Mason walked over and pulled the blind closed. I rolled
my head around my neck and tried to stand up but my legs felt like jelly “Ava…”
Mason shot over to me and caught me before I collapsed “I need to pee Mason” I
scowled. He nodded and wrapped an arm around my waist “I’ll take you” he stated
as he scooped me up, deciding it was easier than walking me there.

He leant me against the wall as he pulled my shorts down
and sat me on the toilet. He crouched in front of me as I peed, a faint smile
lifted his lips and I smiled back and shrugged “You’ve seen worse” I said and
his expression grew serious, his face was agonised and bleak and he gave me a
gentle nod.

 
“Bath?” he asked
as he drew a finger over my cheek, over the edge of my ear and across my jaw. I
nodded “Stay sat” he ordered as he rose and turned on the bath taps, pouring in
some bath crème and then turned back to me

“What did you do last night?” he asked quietly and I
frowned at him “What do you mean?” I studied him and couldn’t quite work out
his mood. He cocked his head “What’s the last thing you remember Ava?” he
turned away and swirled the bath water. I shrugged “Erm…I got drunk and took a
shower and Erm…” I wasn’t sure, everything was blank after my shower and I
scurried through my memories to recall my last actions last night.

Mason sighed and lifted the small mirror off the wall,
the one he always used for shaving in and held it in front of me. I gasped and
my eyes widened. I gingerly put a finger over one of the scratches, one of many
and winced at the soreness.

I was covered in what looked like claw marks and deep scratches
“What happened?” I asked hesitantly and I wondered if Dane had returned while I
slept. He inhaled deeply “You did it Ava” he said quietly. I pulled a face at
him “What?” he turned off the taps and helped me up, stripping me down and then
swooped me up and gently placed me in the bath. He stripped naked and climbed
in behind me. I stiffened as he pulled me back against his chest “Damn it Ava,
relax” he said and I huffed but made myself lean back against him and the first
touch of his bare skin touching mine brought out a deep sigh. I needed him, the
closeness of him, the scent of him, and the feel of him and the security he
surrounded me with.

I rested my head back on his shoulder and he smiled and
kissed my head “Good girl” he whispered and I snuggled my head against his neck.
“Ava…” he sighed “Mmmm” I whispered back “Baby, you need to see a doctor. I’ve
made arrangements for you and I want no arguments Ava” he said slowly and I
frowned
“What the hell for Mason?” I asked as his legs
curled around mine and his foot slipped up and down my calf. “Baby you…you had
some sort of…hell! I don’t know what it was but it wasn’t good baby” I turned
my head to look at him “Mason I was just drunk” his sad smile concerned me and
I regarded him “What happened?” I asked warily.

His eyes fixed on mine “We think you had some sort of
temporary break down Ava, you…you thought angels from hell were coming to take
you away and…and you clawed at yourself, saying you had to get the evil out” he
tightened his arms and legs round me and I wondered if he thought I was going
to do a runner. “Baby, I was so scared, I didn’t understand what was happening
and I…I had to call my mother out to sedate you” he confessed and I slipped
around to face him, my body stretched out over his and his hands cupped my
bottom to hold me up to him. I scanned his face “But you don’t…you don’t see
your mother anymore” I narrowed my eyes on him “You never did tell me why but I
can’t understand how you would call her out of the blue” he sighed and sucked
on his lips “Ava…” he lifted a hand to my face and palmed my cheek tenderly
“Ava, I was so frightened, I’ve never seen…it broke my heart to watch you…like
that, you were terrified, really terrified baby and it was the only thing I
could think of…to phone my mum. She came straight away and well, we talked,
built a few bridges, you know” he shrugged and I smiled gently “I’m glad my
fuck up’s came in useful” his face darkened immediately “Don’t say that Ava” he
hissed and I shrank back a little “don’t ever say that again Ava” he slid
backwards so he was sat up more and I was now kneeling between his knees “you
said…you said you wanted to…to die Ava” he choked out and I looked away and he
narrowed his eyes on me “How long have you felt like that Ava?” he asked slowly
and I shrugged “Ava! I need the fucking truth!” he demanded “I don’t know
Mason!” I shouted and stood up and climbed out of the bath “Leave it!” I
asserted as I snatched up a towel.

He swiftly climbed out behind me and gripped my arms “God
damn it Ava, talk to me, that’s the reason we’re in this mess because you
bottle everything in until it breaks you and shatters your mind. You didn’t see
yourself last night Ava, you smacked Courtney and shook her like a fucking
doll!” he declared and my face paled “Oh my God” I shrank back against the
vanity, my breathing escalating and my heart clenched “Relax, she’s fine but
you weren’t you..You were…well anyway I’ve made you an appointment with a
psychologist and you are going whether you like it or not. You need to talk
about things baby, it’ll help I promise” I stared at him.

What the hell had happened last night? I couldn’t
remember a single thing and the thought that I had hurt Courtney sickened me.

I pulled the towel round me and walked into the bedroom and
sat on the edge of the bed and rubbed my face with my hands and contemplated
everything.

Mason knelt between my legs on the floor and took my
hands in his, pulling them away from my face. He leant up and brushed his lips
over mine “I need to say one thing Ava and I need you to accept what I say,
okay?” he looked at me seriously “What happened with Dane and Lee and all the
other filthy bastards that touched you, that hurt you…none of it and I mean
NONE of it was your fault. You didn’t ask for it, you didn’t give off any
signals to make them think you wanted it and you definitely didn’t deserve it. You
understand Ava? It was nothing you did. Some people…well some people think
because they want something it gives them the right to take it and they don’t
care who they hurt while they take it. I don’t think you’re a whore, a slag or
that you did anything to warrant everything that’s happened to you. You are the
most loving, caring warm person I know Ava. You are not promiscuous, hell it
took me some serious work to break through your shell. You never give yourself
openly and flirting doesn’t come naturally for you, so NO you didn’t ask for it
baby and that’s the reason I love you, because you have to care before you
sleep with somebody, you have to care before you open yourself up so you
definitely did not ask for everything you’ve gone through” he framed my face “I
know I’ve let you down Ava, I know I was stupidly blind and let Dane hurt you
but I promise I won’t let it happen again and I’m…I know I keep saying sorry
baby but I am, wholly and utterly sorry for everything that I put you through…Dane,
the drugs, Rebecca, the…the blonde and every other damn thing I’ve hurt you
with” I rested my forehead against his and sighed “I know Mason but there’s one
thing you don’t know” I swallowed “you saved my life…it’s as simple as that. My
life before you was…well nothing. I didn’t feel, I didn’t live and I certainly
didn’t love, but you…you’ve brought them all out Mason. You chipped away at my
shell until it cracked open and I finally started to breathe. I can’t thank you
enough for your patience and your love because without it I’d still be that
empty soulless girl, so thank you, you woke me up inside baby” I brought my
lips to his and kissed him with everything I felt, I needed him to understand.
My hands slipped into his hair and I held him to me, devouring and loving him
with my mouth. His hands slid into my hair and he wrapped his fingers round it
as we held on to each other.