Authors: Laurie Friedman
Sophie: Christmas will be weird.
Me: Presents are never weird.
Sophie: That's true.
Me: When do you leave for New Orleans?
Sophie: Day after Christmas.
Me: Sounds like fun!
Sophie: It will be!
Tuesday, December 23, 8:45 a.m.
Awake
The first things I saw when I opened my eyes were the presents I got for Brynn. The bottles of bubble bath and lotion were on my dresser, just standing there, silent and unwrapped.
If they could talk, they would have been saying:
When are you going to give us to Brynn, and what are you going to say to her?
For a couple of mute bath products, they ask all the right questions.
1:35 p.m.
Billy called
I was going to go to Brynn's this afternoon and give her the gift, but Billy just called and asked if I wanted to go on a bike ride.
Bike ride with Billy versus awkward moment with Brynn.
That's a no-brainer.
4:57 p.m.
Back from bike ride
When Billy and I stopped at Mr. Agee's farm, where we always stop for our rest break, we got on the subject of Brynn. It was kind of weird that she wasn't on the ride. The three of us always took bike rides together. Plus, she's the one who always brought the drinks and snacks. That sounds a little cold, like I only wanted her there because we were hungry and thirsty, but that wasn't the case.
“Do you miss her?” I asked.
Billy nodded. “I called her and told her I really hope we can be friends,” he said.
“What did she say?”
“She said she doesn't want to be friends.”
“That was it?” I asked.
“That was it,” said Billy.
I gulped. If she told Billy she didn't want to be friends, I could only imagine what she's going to say when I give her the bubble bath and lotion.
I have a feeling it might not be “Merry Christmas.”
Wednesday, December 24, 10:17 a.m.
What's done is done
When I woke up this morning, I decided to just do it. I got dressed, ate a banana, and went to Brynn's house to give her the gift. I wasn't sure what I was going to say. I figured the right words would come.
Her mom answered the door. “I have a Christmas present for Brynn,” I said. I held out the wrapped bath products to Mrs. Stephens.
I was a little self-conscious. Brynn's mom is a perfectionist, and the package looked like I'd wrapped it myself. Plus, I realized I had no idea what Brynn had told her mom about what happened. I'm sure she'd told her mom that Billy broke up with her, and I wouldn't be surprised if she told her that she thought I'd had a hand in it.
Mrs. Stephens frowned. I felt my stomach drop.
“Brynn will be so disappointed she missed you,” said her mom. I couldn't tell if she meant what she was saying. “Brynn went to run an errand with her dad, but she has a gift for you too.” Mrs. Stephens half closed the door and walked away. When she came back, she had an elegantly wrapped box in her hands. “This is for you,” she said. “Merry Christmas, April.”
I exchanged boxes with Brynn's mom and told her to tell Brynn I said
Merry Christmas
. As I walked home, I thought about how uncomfortable the exchange had been. I'd been to Brynn's house hundreds, maybe thousands, of times. Lots of those times I'd gone inside without knocking, and today Mrs. Stephens didn't even invite me in.
When I got to my room, I opened the gift from Brynn. It was a bottle of Donna Karan Green Apple perfume. I've had a bottle of it sitting on my dresser for the last two years. It's shaped like an apple, and it's pretty hard to miss, which means Brynn either deliberately got me something she knew I already had, or she didn't even bother to get me a gift and let her mom pick it out.
Either way, the gift said it all.
I will honor Christmas all the year, and try to keep it in my heart.
âCharles Dickens
December 24, 11:15 a.m.
Feeling down
I keep thinking about what happened this morning when I took the gift to Brynn. It's depressing. This is what you're supposed to do during the Christmas season:
A.) Forgive.
B.) Forget.
C.) Move on.
Apparently, Brynn decided to go with:
D.) None of the above.
1:45 p.m.
Not so down
Leo just called and said he's bringing over gifts for me, which greatly improved my mood.
“Did I hear a plural?” I asked.
Leo laughed. “That's for me to know and you to find out.”
“Well I have something for you too,” I said.
“Singular?” Leo asked.
It was my turn to laugh.
“I'm leaving now,” said Leo. “See ya.”
It was the least articulate but possibly most exciting thing I'd ever heard come out of Leo's mouth.
4:45 p.m.
Was I ever down?
I just had the most amazing Christmas Eve afternoon with Leo and not just because he brought me gifts. He's the most unique person I've ever known. When he came over, I answered the front door. He asked if I wanted to open my presents, but he didn't have anything with him. “Where are they?” I asked as I looked around.
“Start looking,” said Leo.
“Huh?” I was confused.
“You'll have to hunt them down if you want them,” said Leo.
“I think you might have your holidays mixed up.” I gave him a questioning look. “Isn't that an Easter thing?”
Leo laughed. “If you want your gifts, you're going to have to find them.” So I starting searching around my porch, in the bushes, under a pile of pine needles in my yard, and even in the mailbox. “Cold,” said Leo.
I shook my head like I was giving up. Leo grinned and held out his hand, and I took it. It was the first time we'd held hands, aside from when he inspected my hand while we were shopping. It felt a little awkward as we walked to a little wooded area in the park where he said my gifts were waiting. But once we got there, the awkwardness was replaced with excitement. There were three boxes wrapped in bright red paper, and they weren't hard to find.
“April, you have a real talent for sniffing out presents,” said Leo once I'd collected all my boxes.
We sat side by side on a bench as I opened my presents. The first one was a silver duct tape wallet with a red duct tape heart on the front. “I made it,” said Leo.
It kind of looked like he had, but I loved that he'd obviously put a lot of time and thought into what he gave me. “It's great! I can't wait to use it,” I said.
The next present was a book called
Chemistry for the Non-Chemist.
“I hope it doesn't bore you to sleep,” said Leo. He looked a little embarrassed about the gift he'd chosen. “I thought you might like knowing a little bit about my favorite subject.”
“I can't wait to read it,” I said. “And I'll also be a step ahead of most people when I take chemistry next year.”
Leo grinned. “I'm glad I gave you a dual-purpose present.” Then he handed me the third box. I peeled off the wrapping paper and inside the box was a little porcelain figurine of a ballet dancer. “I know you're not strictly a ballerina,” said Leo. “But she kind of reminded me of the way you looked when you danced your solo in the dance show.”
I studied the slim statuette of the ballerina with her hair pulled into a bun. She was so beautiful. I'd like to believe that's how I looked the night of the dance show. It was pretty cool to know that's how Leo saw me that night.
“Do you like it?” asked Leo.
“I love it,” I said sincerely.
When Leo smiled at me, I could see that he was blushing a little. “Merry Christmas, April.”
“Merry Christmas, Leo.”
As I said the words, he bent over and kissed me on the cheek. “Now where's my gift?” he asked.
“Hiding,” I said as I recovered from his unexpected move. We got up and started back to my house. We held hands again, and this time it felt comfortable as we walked and talked.
When I gave him the clock I had gotten him for his dorm room, I was a little embarrassed. “My gift is kind of boring compared to what you got me.”
“April, this is the best gift you could have gotten me. You have probably noticed that punctuality is not my strong suit.”
Actually, that was not something I'd ever noticed. “I got you the clock because the lady at the store said it's something everyone who is going to college needs. You're never late when we have plans,” I said to Leo.
“I guess it's easy to be on time when you're showing up for something you like,” said Leo. I tried to think what activity he meantâyoga? Walking? It took a minute, but then the intent of his words sunk in.
It was my turn to blush.
Christmas Eve
At home
Tonight we celebrated Christmas Eve at home. It was just supposed to be Mom, Dad, May, and June and me. But my Uncle Marty called my dad this morning and said Sam was supposed to go with his mom for Christmas, but the plans changed, so Uncle Marty and Sam drove from Mobile to Faraway to spend Christmas with us.
We ate the delicious dinner Dad made: grilled lamb chops, twice-baked potatoes, asparagus, and homemade strawberry cheesecake. Then we opened presents. When we were done, Mom told June she should sleep in May's room so Sam and Uncle Marty could have her room.
“Do you have one bed or two?” Sam asked June.
“One,” said June.
Sam shook his little head from side to side. Blond bangs flopped into his eyes. “I'm not sleeping with Daddy,” he said. “He farts in his sleep.”
“Sam! I don't like that word,” sad Uncle Marty.
“Daddy poots in his sleep,” Sam corrected. “And it stinks.” He held his nose and made a retching sound. May, June, and I cracked up.
“Girls, that's enough,” said Mom. I knew she didn't want us to egg Sam on, but I guess June couldn't help herself. “What does it smell like?” she asked Sam.
“June!” said Mom.
“Dog poo,” said Sam. He collapsed into a heap of laughter.
“Sam! That's enough,” said Uncle Marty. His tone was sharper than before. Everyone but Sam got that it was time for him to stop.
But Sam was just getting warmed up. “If he farts when Santa comes, Santa will be grossed out by the smell and won't leave any presents.”
“Santa won't leave presents for little boys who say
fart
,” said Uncle Marty.
I knew he was teasing, but apparently Sam didn't. He started crying. He was wailing that he was sorry and wanted his presents. He was actually apologizing to the air, like he wanted Santa to hear his words even though he wasn't there. It was the saddest thing I've ever seen.
Even Uncle Marty felt bad. He told Sam he was kidding and let him have a second piece of cheesecake. Sam sniffled while he ate it. When he finished, Uncle Marty said it was his bedtime, but Sam said he was still upset and scared too. So we all stayed up watching the Santa report on TV until Sam fell asleep in Uncle Marty's lap.
For some reason, watching Uncle Marty carry Sam to bed later made me emotional. Maybe it was that Sam looked so small and sweet. Or maybe it was just the contrast of how bad I felt this morning when I tried to give Brynn the gift I'd gotten her versus how good I felt tonight celebrating with my family. It was a surprisingly fun night all being together. It made me wish I could take the holiday spirit I'm feeling and sprinkle it all over Brynn.
Sadly, I don't think it would make a difference.
Christmas, 10:17 p.m.
We spent Christmas at Aunt Lilly and Uncle Dusty's house. I thought it would be weird not having it at Gaga's and even weirder that she wasn't there to celebrate with us. Even though I missed Gaga, Christmas was very merry!
May was the first one to wake up (she always is), and she got everyone else up. All our stockings, and one for Sam, were laid out in the den in front of the fireplace. They're always filled with pretty much the same thingâcandy, socks, and little things from the drug store, but I still love opening mine and seeing what's inside. Sam liked his too. He stuffed his candy and socks in his underwear, then put his stocking on his head and wore it around like a hat. We all ate homemade cinnamon rolls for breakfast, and then everyone got dressed and we went to Aunt Lilly's house.
My whole extended family was there. Aunt Lilly, Uncle Dusty, Harry, and Amanda. Aunt Lila, Uncle Drew, and Charlotte and Izzy. Uncle Marty and Sam. There was a huge tree, and every room was decorated for Christmas. Mom, Aunt Lilly, and Aunt Lila all had on the matching Christmas sweaters Gaga had made for them.
Sophie was there too, with both of her parents. I know she'd been worried that it would be uncomfortable. It was the first time they'd all been together since Sophie and her mom moved to Faraway. But as soon as we all showed up, Aunt Lilly made everyone put on the Christmas hats she'd ordered and sing carols while she played the piano. I guess singing in funny hats loosens people up, because everyone seemed relaxed after that. Then we ate the huge lunch Aunt Lilly had made and opened presents. It was a really fun day.
When we got home from Aunt Lilly's, Uncle Marty and Sam left to go back to Mobile, and it was just Mom, Dad, May, June, and me. I think we were all exhausted from last night's and today's festivities. We all went into the den, and Mom and May and I curled up on the couch, and June sat with Dad in his oversized armchair. We watched some cheesy, made-for-TV Christmas movie, but it was nice just being with my family.
When the movie was over, Mom made us all get up and get ready for bed.
I showered and had just gotten into bed when Mom came into my room. She walked over and sat down on the edge of my bed. She looked at me like maybe there was something on her mind she wanted to talk to me about. But all she said was, “I love you.”
“Love you too,” I said to Mom and gave her a big, goofy smile. Mom laughed, kissed me on the forehead, and left. As I watched her go, I realized I wouldn't have changed one thing about the day.