Too Much Drama (9 page)

I bit my lip to keep from smiling. “You can't go around throwing toilet paper in people's yards every time they're mean to you,” I said.

“See?” May said looking at June. Clearly they'd been discussing this.

“So what's the issue?” I asked May.

She brushed a stray hair off her face. “I guess I'm just scared about tryouts.”

“You're such a good athlete. You'll make whatever team you try out for,” I said, partly to make her feel better, but mostly so she and June would leave.

“I hope so,” said May. She shrugged. “A lot of girls are trying out. I don't know what's going to happen.”

“I know the feeling,” I told her. Even though the last few days with Leo were a welcome distraction, there was so much drama over what happened New Year's Eve. I have this gnawing feeling there's more to come. May said it perfectly.

I don't know what's going to happen.

Sometimes doing something is worse than doing nothing.

—Meredith Grey

Monday, January 5, 7:29 a.m.
Grumpy

Last night after May left my room, she came back. She wanted to know if she could sleep with me. I felt bad so I let her, but she kept tossing and turning and sticking her knees and elbows into me. She finally fell asleep, but I couldn't. My brain was racing.

I hadn't expected Brynn to show up at the diner and confront anyone. She definitely hasn't been acting like the Brynn I used to know and love. Plus, now Emily and Vanessa have been drawn into what's going on, so I don't know what to expect at dance. They're clearly Team Brynn.

I was also thinking about what's going to happen with Sophie and Billy. They kissed. As Leo said, that's between them. In theory, it doesn't affect me. But the reality is they're my best friends. If they start going out, will they spend all their time together? Without me?

And there's Leo. We're definitely more than friends, but we're not boyfriend and girlfriend. It's not that I necessarily want to go out with him. I like the way things are now, but I have no idea what it will be like when I'm here and he's off at school. I just Googled long distance relationships where you're more than friends but not going out. It's not even a category.

Argh.

After all this reflection and Googling, I'm not any wiser. But I am late for school.

6:44 p.m.
Mad

I had a bad feeling Brynn was going to lash out, but I seriously underestimated what she would do. Ms. Baumann had given us winter break off, so today was our first day back at practice since the confrontation at the New Year's Day brunch.

At break, Emily came up to me and said Brynn told her I was happy when Emily sprained her ankle last semester and I got to dance her solo in the show. “Is that true?” she asked.

“That's crazy,” I said.

But Emily didn't seem convinced. “It kind of makes sense that you'd be happy you got to take my place.”

“I can't believe you'd think I'd be happy you hurt yourself,” I told her.

Emily eyed me accusatorily. “Brynn said that would be your reaction.”

“Of course, that's my reaction. What other reaction is there?” But Emily didn't answer. I don't know if I made my point or not.

It's so dumb. Part of me doesn't care.

Wednesday, January 7,10:02 p.m.
Furious

I could have gotten over what Brynn told Emily. It was absurd. Plus, I have a hard time thinking that Emily really believes it's true.

I also could have gotten over the fact that yesterday Vanessa came up to me after dance and said that she's really sad for Brynn that I wasn't there for her when she was obviously going through a hard time, and that it just makes her wonder how committed I am to being part of the dance team. Seriously?

But now I'm truly mad.

I just found out Brynn is having a spa day at her house on Saturday afternoon and invited all the freshman girls on the dance team . . . EXCEPT ME!

When Kate Walls texted me saying how much fun it's going to be that we'll all be together at Brynn's for manis and pedis, I felt like I was going to throw up. I don't want to be excluded from something all the ninth graders on the team are doing. My first reaction was to call Brynn and say something, but what's the point?

Even if she had invited me, the last place I want to be is with her.

Thursday, January 8, 10:17 p.m.
Annoyed

Leo texted me when he got to school, but tonight was our first live conversation since he left for college. He was so upbeat about his classes and the unlimited cereal bar in the morning and the fact that his dorm is only 163 to 165 steps from the library. He said he counted twice and got a slightly different number both times and that by his estimation some dorms are more than 600 steps from the library.

Then he asked me what's going on with me. I started to tell him about the girl drama going on in dance, but I stopped myself. It seemed trivial in comparison, and it was a little unsettling that a.) I don't even want to talk about my own life, and b.) Leo has only been gone four days, and I already feel like there's stuff I can't tell him.

Then I heard talking and laughter in the background, and Leo said he had to go because he had a floor meeting and it was starting. I don't even know what a floor meeting is, but I know it includes other people because I heard them. I pictured Leo surrounded by those people. College people.

Annoying.

Saturday, January 10, 4:10 p.m.
Surprised (not in a good way)

Today was the day the dance team went to Brynn's house.

I told Sophie what they were doing without me, and she suggested we have our own spa day, so I went over to Gaga's, and we sat on the floor of Sophie's room and painted our fingernails and toenails.

While we were waiting for them to dry, I noticed something I didn't remember seeing the last time I was there— a bright-colored, carved wooden fish on her bookshelf. “Is that new?” I asked motioning to the fish.

Sophie smiled. She got up and got the fish from the bookshelf and brought it over so I could get a better look. “Billy brought it back to me from his trip to Mexico. Cool, huh?”

I told her I thought it was, but what I was really thinking was that if Billy brought Sophie a gift back from Mexico, he must like her. I already had a feeling he did, especially when I saw them kiss on New Year's Eve. But Billy was in Mexico over Christmas, which means he got her the fish before they kissed. It was proof that Sophie and Billy are going to get together.

It used to be an
if
. Now it's a
when
.

I don't know why that surprised me. Or upset me. But as I waited for my toes to dry, I pictured Sophie and Billy as a couple, Brynn with the dance team, and Leo off with a bunch of college people. Then I pictured myself. Alone. I felt stupid for picturing myself like that. Sophie and I were supposed to be having a spa day.

Not a pity party.

Hold fast to dreams For if dreams die Life is a broken-winged bird That cannot fly.

—Langston Hughes,
Dreams

Monday, January 12, 5:59 p.m.
Home from dance

Things aren't better with Brynn, not that I thought they would be. But I hadn't anticipated that she would use her spa day on Saturday to try to turn all the other freshman on the dance against me.

I think it's a pretty safe assumption that she told them why she hadn't invited me, based on the fact that no one seemed to want anything to do with me at practice. I was ostracized like Hester Prynne in
The Scarlet Letter
(which we're reading in English.) And as I was leaving practice, Kate came up to me and said she was sorry she mentioned the spa day to me. “I felt bad,” she said. “I didn't realize you and Brynn aren't friends anymore.”

“No problem,” I said.

Then Kate said “Brynn told everyone what Sophie did at the party.” She made a face like just the memory of what Brynn told her was unpleasant. “I didn't see it. But it sounded bad—Sophie moving in on Billy like that. It sounds like she was being pretty aggressive.” She raised a brow like she was waiting for me to respond.

I felt like I had to defend Sophie, even though I really didn't want to get dragged into this. “Since you didn't see it, don't you think you're being pretty judgmental?”

Kate ignored my question. “I know she's related to you or something, but it's wrong that she kissed someone else's boyfriend.”

“Billy isn't Brynn's boyfriend anymore.”

Kate looked at me like she couldn't believe I'd said that. “Is. Was. Same difference. And you're supposed to be her best friend.”

“
Was
. I was her best friend,” I said.

Kate looked at me like she couldn't believe those words had come out of my mouth. “Brynn said you don't get it, and it's a shame,” Kate said.

I couldn't believe she was getting so involved in something that clearly had nothing to do with her. A lot happened between Brynn and me, and Brynn had clearly only told her half of the story. I thought about telling Kate my side of things, but what was the point? She was just one person on the team. There were lots of others. What was I supposed to do? Go person to person and repeat myself? Plus, Kate had already picked her side. I slung my backpack over my shoulder and left.

I'd heard enough for one day.

Tuesday, January 13
Study Hall

As Sophie and I were leaving lunch, she told me that Beth Schimberg told her that Kelly Blake said she heard the reason Brynn and I aren't friends anymore is because she (Sophie) likes Billy, and I (April) didn't do anything to stop it.

“Isn't that nuts?” said Sophie. “I mean seriously, who thinks like that?”

I hadn't told Sophie what was happening on the dance team, because I knew it would make her feel awful if she thought people were being mean to me because of something she did. Plus, it seemed like the problem was pretty contained to just the girls on the dance team. But if Brynn was starting to drag in other random people like Beth and Kelly, who were now bringing Sophie into the drama, I didn't have much of a choice.

“I guess Brynn can be pretty vindictive when she's upset,” I said to Sophie.

“But to say that the two of you aren't friends because I like Billy is ridiculous.” Sophie paused, and then looked at me. “I'm going to try to talk to her,” she said.

I shook my head. “I don't think you should get into it with Brynn,” I said. “I've known her for a long time and I promise, there's nothing you can say that could make matters better.”

“They can't get worse,” said Sophie.

Unfortunately, I think they can.

9:45 p.m.
Just talked to Sophie
Who talked to Billy
About Brynn

Sophie called me tonight right when I'd gotten out of the shower. I was still soaking wet and wasn't even going to answer, but I dried off my hand and one side of my head and face so I could talk.

“I told Billy what Brynn has been saying about you, and Billy told me that he's going to try to talk to Brynn,” said Sophie as soon as I answered the phone. “He thinks the issue is between Brynn and him.”

“That's good,” I said. But then I told Sophie I had to go. I didn't want to hear anymore about what Sophie told Billy or what Billy was planning to say to Brynn. It was late. I was wet. And I'd spent way too much time today on this topic.

Thursday, January 15, 8:08 p.m.
Talked to Emily

Here's a little piece of good news: I fixed my problems, at least the ones with the dance team.

There has been so much tension all week. Everyone knows Brynn and I aren't friends anymore, and they've all been acting like they had to choose sides. Brynn pretty much had everyone convinced they needed to choose her side, which sucked for me personally, but also has been affecting the group dance the freshman girls have been working on for our next competition.

And I wasn't the only one who thought so. When Ms. Baumann criticized our group and told us our timing was off, I knew it was time to act. I appealed to Emily's sense of teamwork. “Whatever problems exist between Brynn and me shouldn't affect the team,” I said at break today. “We need to all work together if we want to do well.”

Emily, who loves dance even more than drama (which she clearly likes a lot), seemed relieved. “I think so too,” she said. When break was over, she made a speech to our group about how we all need to work together. Everyone agreed to do their part, even Brynn. When we started dancing, she avoided dancing near me or looking in my direction, which made things kind of awkward.

But hey . . . I'll take awkward over ostracized.

9:17 p.m.
Feeling pretty good

I felt pretty good about what happened in dance, so I decided to call Leo (who I haven't spoken to in a week) and tell him about it. But when I called, he didn't pick up. I hope he'll call back.

11:17 p.m.
Going to sleep

He didn't.

Friday, January 16, 8:13 p.m.
Text from Leo

Leo: Sorry I didn't call you back last night.

Leo: First college test today. I had to study.

Me: No problem!

Me: Hope it went well.

Leo: Me too. Hard to tell.

Leo: I'll call you this weekend.

Me: