Read Torn by Love (Scarred by Love #4) Online
Authors: C. A. Harms
Tanner
I let go of the anger I had toward how Lily had behaved. I think she now understood the depths of my feelings for her. I thought she would’ve known already, but apparently she needed a little reassurance.
At the reception, we all sat around the table full of the entire wedding party—my parents, my brothers and sister, and the people they have each chosen to share their lives with. I couldn’t help but smile as I saw the happiness in each and every person’s eyes.
I placed my hand on Lily’s thigh under the table as squeezed. She leaned in toward me a little more and kissed my cheek.
Max stood and faced the guests, holding his drink high in the air.
“Can I have everyone’s attention, please?” He waited for the room to quiet before he cleared his throat. “Bree and I wanted to take a moment to thank each and every one of you for sharing our special day with us. It means the world to us to have you all here.” He looked down at Bree, who smiled at him as she took his hand and rose from her chair to stand next to him. He released his hold on her hand and wrapped it around her waist, then gripped her hip.
“Our road wasn’t smooth by any means. Mistakes were made, yet we stand here before all of you, stronger and unbreakable. This girl’s my world.”
Bree wiped away a lone tear that had run down her cheek. I choked up a bit myself as Max, the intimidating gorilla, confessed his love. I’m not that kind of guy, but seeing Max in this state pulled at my heart.
“Not only has Bree allowed me to be a part of her life, but she’s also shared Paisley with me.” He winked at Paisley, who sat beside my parents. “My girls have turned me in to a better man, and I can’t thank them enough for each moment they give me.
“We, um…” Max shifted his gaze to Bree and smiled. “We found out a few weeks ago that we’re gonna be parents.” Gasps and
ahh
s filled the room. “We heard our baby’s heartbeat together, and that moment has forever changed me. I will be forever grateful for the love Bree has shown me and for the life she has given me.”
Applause and congratulations filtered through the room, and I looked over just in time to watch Lily clean the tears from her cheeks.
“Pretty cool, huh?” I tucked a curl behind her ear, which gave me a better view of her eyes. “Max’s gonna be a dad.”
“Yeah, crazy, huh?” She sniffled, still staring forward. Her eyes locked on Bree and Max as they continued to talk with their guests.
“Well, T, looks like you’re next. Need to get working on a little one. All our kids need to grow up together,” Mason said from across the table.
I chuckled as I picked my beer up from the table. “Yeah, I think I’ll hold off on that. I’m in no hurry to change shitty diapers or smell like baby puke.”
Lily pushed back from the table and stood quickly, looking a bit nervous. “I need to use the restroom.”
I cocked an eyebrow at her. “Want me to walk with you?”
I started to stand as she reached out and placed her hand on my shoulder. “No,” she said, “I’m fine.” She rushed off before I could argue, leaving me puzzled.
Kate stood as well and leaned over to give Carson a kiss. She looked at me and smiled. “I’ll check on her.”
I nodded as I watched her walk off toward the hallway my girl had just escaped down.
Relationships and girls were so damn confusing.
Lily
“Oh my God,” I whispered as I splashed cold water on my face while my stomach coiled and my head pounded. I couldn’t get sick, not now, not again.
I had done so well today, but then again, Tanner had helped ease my nerves until just a few moments ago. The reality of my current situation came crashing back the moment he fired back at Mason.
I took in a deep breath, attempting to calm myself.
The low creak of the bathroom door startled me. I placed my hand over my stomach and spun to face the door. I was relieved when Kate came into view. I wasn’t sure I could face Tanner at this moment. I knew I would cave.
“Hey,” she whispered as she closed the door behind her. “You okay?”
“I’m pregnant.” It rushed out of me before I could stop it. I slapped my hand over my mouth, and her eyes grew wide.
“Okay then, um…” She took another step toward me. “I’m a little shocked. I’ll be honest, I wasn’t expecting that. Does Tanner know?”
I shook my head. “After that comment, I don’t know how he’ll react.”
“How far?” Kate asked as she leaned back against the counter next to me.
“I haven’t gone to the doctor yet, but I know I’m not that far along. It’s my fault. I never got my shot when I was supposed to,” I confessed, feeling the guilt take me over once more.
I’d known since the day I arrived at my brother’s house. I think that was part of the reason I was so devastated and pigheaded about Tanner afterward.
“Lil, he’s been lost without you. He loves you, and he’ll love this baby too. You can’t think otherwise. Your baby is part of both of you, one created in love. He may be nervous, a little freaked out at first, but he would never regret creating a life with you.”
Kate’s words calmed me just a little. Carson and she had been in a similar situation. With the way babies were popping up everywhere, it seemed the Parks boys had super sperm.
I knew she was right. Tanner would accept he was going to be a father, but knowing that didn’t make me any less nervous to tell him. I had gotten the shot shortly after we started seeing each other as more than just friends. Three months later when I should have made my appointment for a second shot, I had moved in with Tanner and didn’t leave a forwarding address. All mail had instead gone to my brother’s place in Texas. The reminder letter had gotten lost in the chaos of unpacking, and needless to say I’d been so busy helping Tanner with the house and so wrapped up in being with him that I’d just forgotten to get the second shot.
“You need to tell him,” she pushed.
“I will. I just have to find the right time,” I assured her.
She smiled and placed her hand on my shoulder before giving it a light squeeze. “Don’t analyze it so much. Go for the shock and awe. Believe me, it makes for better stories later.” She winked and walked toward the door. “You coming?” she hollered back over her shoulder.
“Yeah,” I replied before taking a deep breath.
It was time to face the music. Time to face the fact that I had made a mistake and now Tanner and I would be parents along with Max and Bree.
Tanner looked worried as I approached the table. I sat in the chair next to him, and he reached out and pulled it closer. “You good?”
“I’m great,” I assured him.
He kissed me and traced my jaw with his thumb. “I can tell something’s wrong, but I’ll leave it alone for now.” He hooked his hand around the back of my neck, and I leaned into his touch. “We’ll be talking about whatever is on your mind, though. Because I know something’s bothering you.”
He never took his stare from mine, and I almost looked away, his eyes were so intense. I should have known better than to tell him I was fine. He had the ability to read me better than anyone else.
“Okay,” I admitted. “You’re right, but we’ll talk later.”
He nodded in agreement, and we turned back to enjoy the company of everyone else. Allowing my stomach to settle, I joined in the conversation as if I didn’t have something life-changing to share with Tanner.
***
The reception had died out, and it was down to just the brothers, Zander, and Riley. On more than one occasion, Tanner had tried to get me a drink, but I stuck to water. I told him it was because I had to drive him home, and he bought my excuse. He was buzzed, I could tell, but not enough that he didn’t know what he was saying or doing.
“Dance with me,” he said as he stood up and held out his hand toward me.
I grinned up at him like a lovesick fool. “Okay.”
He led me toward the dance floor, where Kate and Carson were dry-humping one another. I caught Tanner rolling his eyes and giggled at his reaction.
“You wanna show ’em how it’s done?” he said as he wagged his eyebrows. That only made me smile more.
“Sure.” I pushed against him.
The moment his hips pushed forward and his hardness pressed against my stomach, I knew I was in trouble. Our bodies moved together, and I could tell by the look on his face he was turned on. Tanner and alcohol led to horny and naked. That was his mantra, and I benefited quite often from his drunken nights with his brothers.
“I’ve missed you at night,” he whispered against my neck. “I’ve missed you more than just then, but the nights have been real hard without you. I love your warmth, the way you curl around me and tuck yourself close.” He paused for just a few seconds before sliding his hands lower to cop a feel. “But not feeling you naked beneath me was torture. Your scent covered the sheets, and I had to lie in bed, breathing you in, without being able to touch you.”
He pressed his lips against my neck, just below my ear. “I need you, Lily. I need you in every aspect of my life.”
“I need you too. So much,” I replied.
“One day we’ll be dancing at our own wedding. That I can promise you.” His breath warmed my neck and chest. “You’re my forever, Lil.”
I pulled back and looked up at him, judging the look in his eyes. The words were on the tip of my tongue, but I had to know I was safe to speak them.
Yes, his eyes were a little bloodshot, but his smile and the way he looked back at me gave me the answer I needed.
“I need to tell you something,” I said, taking in a few much-needed breaths. “I, um…” My heart was racing.
He leaned forward and kissed me gently. “Whatever it is, we’ll get through it. I promise you.”
I nodded and just went for it.
“I’m pregnant.” The words rushed out of me almost like they had earlier with Kate.
Tanner’s hips stopped swaying, and his eyes narrowed. Thinking he was about to yell or become angry, I felt my heart sink.
“Pregnant?” he whispered.
I nodded, still staring back at him in silence.
His eyes never left mine as he moved his hands from my hips to run them through his hair.
He opened his mouth, but no words came out. He did this three or four times before he was finally able to speak.
“I’m gonna be a dad?” It was a question, but I wasn’t sure he needed me to answer it. I was sure he was only saying it to himself. Allowing it to sink in fully.
He wrapped his arms around my waist and lifted me up to spin me around. My yelp drew the attention of everyone else.
“Oh shit,” he gasped. He lowered me back to the ground and made sure I was stable. “I’m sorry, doll. Are you okay?”
I giggled at his question. “I’m fine, are you okay?”
“Fuck yeah, I’m okay. Hell, I’m more than okay.” He gripped the sides of my face and took my mouth with his. His deep kiss told me what I needed to know. We would be okay. This wasn’t the end, this was just the beginning.
Our lips parted, and his huge smile was almost unlike him.
“You all hear that shit?” he asked, looking around at the puzzled faces of his brothers and sister. “Big T here is gonna be a dad.” He paused and looked back down at me. “And my girl here just agreed to marry me.”
I arched a brow, and he spun back around just in time to see my questioning look. “Don’t argue, you know that the last time you tried it, I won. I’ll win this one too, so there’s no point in wasting your time telling me different.”
He winked, and all I could do was laugh. He was right. I’d marry him tomorrow if that was what he wanted.
Tanner
“Am I hurting you?” I asked her as I slowly began to enter her.
“No, please don’t stop,” she panted.
I was completely consumed by Lily’s warmth as I pressed my hips forward. My fair-skinned beauty was needy beneath me, and seeing her stomach swollen with my child made pride fill my chest. Lily was my wife, my world, the mother of my unborn child, and the one that held my heart in her hands. There wasn’t a thing I wouldn’t do for her, nothing I wouldn’t give her.
We were married three months ago, and it was pretty much a reincarnation of Max and Bree’s ceremony. Lily said she would have married me at the courthouse, but I wanted her to have her special day to look back on. The girls pulled it all together with the help of my more than happy mother.
We were only a week from her due date, and she’d been horny night and day. I wasn’t complaining. I was more than willing to offer my services without her asking. One look was all I needed, and I was naked and hard in two seconds flat.
In fact we were on round two, and from the sounds of her moans, she was close. Being woken up at one in the morning to my wife stroking my cock wasn’t such a bad thing.
“Faster, Tanner,” she growled.
Holy fuck, my girl was a demanding little thing. I obliged, pumping my hips harder and faster. The second her eyes rolled back in her head and she tightened around me, I let go, groaning as her body shook against mine.
Damn, I was one lucky man. I would never forget what Lily had given me. She was and would forever be my girl.
***
Lily
I don’t know what it was about me, but I felt like a sex-crazed maniac. Or maybe it wasn’t me. I had a sexy man who was willing and ready at all times. Who wouldn’t take advantage of that?
I had fallen asleep with Tanner wrapped around me and his hand stretched out protectively over our baby. I had spent my pregnancy with an overbearing, overprotective man. One that had barely let me breathe without offering assistance. But his actions only caused me to smile. I loved my alpha male. He made me feel safe and protected.
The streetlight just outside shined brightly. I had woken up a few minutes ago with a cramp in my side, and I hadn’t been able to fall back to sleep. Instead I pushed back toward Tanner, and his grip tightened around me a little more.
Another cramp hit me just as I started to doze off, and this time a groan fell from my lips. I looked over at the clock on the nightstand to see 3:48 a.m. staring back at me. I spent the next ten minutes counting the seconds between the cramps and attempting to stay calm.
After crawling from the bed, I slowly walked across the room and slipped into the bathroom. I closed the door behind me and braced myself on the vanity just as another blast of pain hit.
Warm liquid seeped down my legs and soaked my pants. Reality hit. “Tanner,” I yelled.
I could hear the rustling of his feet, and the bathroom door flew open. His eyes grew wide as they zoomed in on my pants, which showed the evidence that it was time to meet our little surprise.
“My water broke,” I whispered.
“I can see that, babe.” He guided me toward the bedroom and directed me to sit down on the bed. “Let’s get you changed and then loaded up in the car.”
He turned around and quickly moved around the bedroom, where he gathered a change of clothes and a light jacket. After helping me get dressed, he threw my bag we had packed last week up over his shoulder and stood next to me, smiling. “Let’s go meet our baby.”
Tears filled my eyes as I nodded and followed my husband out of the room.
***
“Push, Lil. You’re so close, doll,” Tanner coached as the doctor and nurses worked around me. “You can do it.”
He kissed my forehead and looked at the doctor, who was perched between my legs. All my modesty had taken a backseat for the moment. I no longer cared who could see my girly bits; I just wanted this to be over.
“Okay, Lily, on this next contraction, I need you to give me all you got. Bear down and push with all you have,” Dr. Morgan directed.
I tiredly nodded and gripped Tanner’s hand as tight as I could.
“Here we go. One, two…” The counting faded away as I pushed as hard as I could. I felt intense pressure just before I heard the sweetest sound. A cry, followed by Dr. Morgan’s voice. “We have a boy.”
My gaze shifted to Tanner, and I found his eyes reddened and wet. A tear spilled over as he stared at the dark-haired angel the nurse carried in our direction. His gaze never left our son, not even for a second.
The nurse placed our baby onto my chest, and Tanner immediately rested his hand over our son’s back. The size of his hand made our child seem so small.
“We have a son,” he whispered. The vibration in his voice was so unlike him. A strong sense of love washed over me. My husband was in awe. Tanner had just instantly fallen in love with our son, and I was on the verge of sobbing. Watching him scan over our baby, taking in every single detail of his tiny, perfect body, was one of the most beautiful things I had ever seen.
Tanner bent forward and pressed his lips to mine. “Thank you,” he whispered. “You’re amazing.”
“Well, it looks like your dad’s name lives on, baby. We have a little Tucker Parks.” Tearing up once more, I said a silent thanks to my father for bringing both Tanner and now our son Tucker Logan Parks into my life.
***
Riley
The double doors just outside the waiting area opened, and all heads turned in their direction.
Tanner appeared, smiling brightly, and seeing my brother’s happy face made me happy.
“We have a son,” he announced, and Max immediately fist-pumped the air.
“Seven pounds, two ounces, and he has a full head of dark hair.” He paused as he took in a shuddering breath. “He’s beautiful, just like his mommy.”
My mother and I stood and made our way over to Tanner. We both engulfed him in our arms, and his body vibrated against ours. Tanner was not emotional, and he was not the type to show weakness. He was so much like Max it was scary.
But in this moment, the moment when he became a father, he no longer hid his feelings. He was forever changed, and everyone in this waiting room felt it.
I know the feeling. The moment Zander looked into my eyes after our baby girl was born, I knew he was a goner. He lost it, and little Zoey has had her daddy wrapped around her finger every day since.
Each one of us has felt the love a child invokes in a person, and today Tanner and Lily felt it to.
I pulled back, and Tanner wiped at his eyes. “I’m gonna get back in there. I just wanted to let you all know. I’m sure you can all see him soon.”
“We’ll be right here waiting. Tell Lily I love her and I can’t wait to see my gorgeous grandson.” My mother kissed Tanner’s cheek, and he smiled back at her.
My father patted him on the back. “Get back to your girl and tell those doctors not to keep this grandpa waiting too long. I need to kiss that beautiful wife of yours and thank her.”
Tanner rushed off, and the room was full of smiles.
I made my way back over to my husband and took a seat next to him. He tapped his lips with his fingertip, and I kissed him softly.
“Makes you want another one, don’t it? So you feel the rush and the excitement of the moment all over again,” Zander asked.
“Um, no, I think one is enough for right now. Let’s at least get through the first two years before we start planning for more.” Zander had already told me he wanted Zoey to have lots of brothers and sisters. He hated being an only child, and after seeing how my brothers and I behaved around each other, he wanted that for our kids as well.
***
Zander
Being a part of the Parks clan felt amazing. I loved the support they gave each other freely and the unbreakable bonds between them all. Zoey had and would forever have more than enough people standing behind her no matter what. My little girl would never feel alone. I planned on giving her enough brothers and sisters to make that bond feel even stronger.
Riley, Zoey, and I still visited my mom every Sunday. I would make sure that every one of my children knew what a wonderful woman she was. My father, on the other hand, could rot in hell. I had no desire to share my children with him. He was warped and nothing but a cheating bastard. Last month I found out that his wife Victoria caught him in bed with his secretary. Karma was a bitch, and I couldn’t help but laugh. She should have left his ass the first time he cheated, but she was dumb enough to believe he could change.
Grant was still the same piece of shit, living off his parents to appear successful. Knowing I was striving without the help of our father made me feel superior. I was better than the both of them combined.
The life I now led with my wife and our daughter was one most men only dream of. We had enough love and compassion to last us a lifetime. As long as Riley was by my side, I felt like I could conquer the world.
***
Carson
As we walked into the hospital room to meet my newest nephew, every member of my family had a smile on their face.
“Everyone, meet Tucker Logan Parks, our son,” Tanner said with pride. I was also proud of him. He stepped up to the plate when Lily was falling apart and allowed her to lean on him to become stronger. Throughout it all they became one. Much like me and Kate.
I walked up behind my wife and wrapped my arms around her waist. She placed her hands over mine and lightly shook her head. I smiled against her neck and kissed her softly.
“I’m not saying anything,” I whispered.
No one knew that soon she and I would be back in this very spot, bringing yet another Parks into the world. We had found out two days ago that Carley would be a big sister, and we didn’t want to steal Lily and Tanner’s thunder, so we would wait to announce our news. We wouldn’t wait too long, though, because I wanted to shout that shit from the rooftop. There was nothing like knowing Kate was once again carrying my child. That thought brought out a whole lot of manly shit inside me. You know, that “pound on your chest and shout ‘I am king’” bullshit. Yep, I had it all.
“He looks just like his daddy,” Lily said as everyone leaned in to get a better look. “Look at his upper lip, the fullness, and that heart-shaped curve.” She had all of us analyzing little Tucker’s lips. “See? Just like Tanner’s.”
Our eyes shifted from Tanner to Tucker. “Back up, man,” Tanner complained, swatting Mason as he got a little too close. “Kelly, rein him in.”
We all chuckled, and Mason pulled him into a bear hug as Max came in from behind.
“Okay, boys, no roughhousing around my grandson. He’ll soon have enough to learn when it comes to fighting off his crazy uncles. Give him some peace for now,” said my dad, the surgeon and the greatest man I knew. He didn’t realize just how much we all strived daily to be even remotely like him.
“You guys can hold him,” Lily offered.
It didn’t take long before Tucker was passed around from person to person as we all got the chance to take a closer look.
When Kate took him in her arms, my smile only grew wider. I hoped she was carrying our son. I would love to have a little boy who looked like me. Carley had grown into her mommy’s clone, and her attitude was also a mirror image of Kate’s. Kate had created a little diva that I was sure one day would cause me some trouble. Setting her and Kate loose in the shopping mall may break me. A son to balance things out didn’t seem like too much to hope for. But if I ended up with another daughter, I’d be all right with that too.
***
Kate
Holding Tucker close, I couldn’t help but wonder if this time we would get a son. Well, we had a chance to at least end up with one if not two boys.
My cheeks hurt from my smile and the knowledge of the secret I had yet to share with my husband.
Mrs. Parks, this confirms you are, in fact, pregnant, and those two darker spots on the sonogram show me we were right. You are having twins.
Twins, and Carson had no idea.
“He’s perfect, Lil, absolutely perfect,” I said as I looked up at my sweet friend. Who would have thought when I met her years ago at college that we would be right here today—sisters by marriage.
Tanner adored her. You could see it every time he looked at her. They’d had their struggles, but in the end, they were stronger.
Carson reached over my shoulder and touched Tucker’s cheeks. “Right there. You see what I mean?” he asked Tanner.