Torn (The McKerricks Book 1) (19 page)

When I go in again for a second taste, I work my way along the outer edge of her pussy nipping with my teeth before soothing with my tongue. I have to use my hands to hold her hips still, and her breathing has turned into an erratic moaning pant.

Henley is divine, and I can
’t believe I waited this long to see her writhing beneath my mouth like this. It’s time that I would rather not have lost. I should have gotten on my knees and begged Henley from the start to be mine, instead I acted like a dick trying to forget her. Trying to fuck her out of my system.

My tongue strokes against her clit, over and over, as her body begins thrashing around in my grip. My name is a soft whisper on her lips as she tries to push herself closer to my mouth. My legs shift irritably as I try to relieve some of the pressure of pants that are too tight to get a hard on in.

I keep my mouth on her as she comes, driving her further, milking her orgasm for every ounce of pleasure I can give her. I don’t pull back until her body begins to relax on the table, and even then it’s hard. It’s like pulling away after you’ve only just had a taste of something delicious. It’s like eating just one potato chip.

“
I changed my mind Connor. I
really
like trying new things.”

I let out a laugh that sounds breathy and strained. And why not, I
’m
dying
in my pants here. I unzip my jeans, letting my full length spring free. “Good let’s keep experimenting.”

I make my way slowly around the table till I am standing next to where her head is resting. With one hand, I languidly stroke my dick as my other hand smooths her sweat matter hair back from her face. She jumps a little when my hand first makes contact with her face, but she relaxes easily after that.

My hand slides along her jaw, my thumb gliding against her soft pink lips. I press firmly, and her lips part easily, letting my thumb slide against that luscious pink tongue. Yes,  Henley has a mouth that would look great wrapped around my dick, and I plan to find out just how good it feels.

I keep her mouth open with my thumb, as I maneuver myself closer, letting the tip of my dick slide into her mouth. It takes less than an instant, for her tongue to roll over the tip and for her to realize exactly what I stuck in her mouth.

The loud crack reverberates through the room, as her head jerks back smacking against the table, and the one word I never wanted to make her say comes tumbling out of her mouth.

“
Baby! Baby, baby, baby,” it’s like a mantra she is repeating over and over as her body writhes on the table. She is twisting at the straps on her wrists so wildly that I’m scared she’s going to break her wrists. Pinning her arms to the table so she can’t hurt herself, I rip the blindfold off her face, exposing  her tear filled green eyes.

“
Hold still lover, I’m going to undo your hands just… be still.”

Her body is still shivering, but she isn
’t thrashing against the restraints anymore. My hands are shaking, and it’s hard to get them to unclip the buckles, but I finally manage and Henley sits up, her whole body is shaking on the table. Her wide panic filled eyes are staring unseeingly straight ahead.

I tuck myself back in my pants, and turn to stroke Henley
’s face, but my hands freeze before I touch her.
I
did that to her. In that instant I might have undone everything I’ve tried to build with Henley. As her panicked blank gaze continues I realize I need to get her out of here. I need to get her somewhere she can relax.

“
Henley, lover, I’m going to get you out of here okay? I’ve got to touch you though,” the last part hurts to say. The fact that she might not ever let me touch her again. She might not ever
want
me to touch her again.

She doesn
’t react at all, as I slip my arms around her small shivering form. Once I’ve lifted her up, her hands wind tightly around my neck, and her legs grip around my waist. I’m relieved at the small motion of her holding on, as I walk us out of the room, and straight out of the building.

My stride carries me easily across the parking lot, as I work my way toward the Maserati. When I get there I lower Henley carefully into the seat. Her eyes are still unfocused and she is whispering the word baby over and over again, as her body shakes in the front seat.

I carefully buckle her into the seat, and walk around to my side of the car and climb in. Henley never moves. Before I know it I’m speeding down the road.

When I pull into the parking garage I
’m up and out of the car before its barely turned off. When I open Henley’s door, her lips are in a tight line as she slowly turns her head to me. That vacant look is still there, but it seems like she is noticing the world around her again.

I scoop her into my arms, and head into the building
’s lobby. The woman behind the counter gives me a curious look as I make my way to the elevator. The ride up takes forever with Henley shivering in my arms. She doesn’t say anything, and I don’t know what to say to her. ‘Sorry I didn’t know you’d freak out from touching my dick?’ nothing playing through my mind will work, so I just stay silent.

She doesn
’t move or look around as we enter the foyer, so I carry her directly to my room. When I sit her on the bed her green eyes turn up to my blue ones, and they look so lost.  Slowly, ever so slowly I reach out and touch her. She leans slightly into the touch, but she barely reacts. With a pained sigh I carefully strip her clothes off, going slow so that I can stop if she begins to react negatively. She just watches my movements with disinterest, and when she is unclothed I turn back to my dresser and grab a t-shirt. I slip it over her head, and it dwarfs her. It makes her look so small and frail. I grab a pair of my boxers, and slip them carefully up her legs, folding the waist band several times over to keep them on.

She still doesn
’t move, so I lay her down gently and bundle her under the covers before climbing in bed behind her, holding her close. It isn’t until she is tucked carefully in my arms, that I realize what I’ve done. I brought her home. I broke the only rule I had left, and brought her to
my
condo. I broke her. Then I brought her home. How many fuck ups can I make in one night I wonder.

There is nothing to be done about it now, and I
’m not as worried about her being here as I thought I would be. The fear of her being too close doesn’t grip me, and I hold her tight, trying to protect her. As the night wears on, as I continue to stand watch for Henley, no matter how I try to fight it sleep finally wins.

Chapter 16

When my eyes open again, light is filtering through the small gaps in the curtains. Henley is tucked tightly in my arms, and I can see her face in the mirror across from my bed. Her eyes are open wide staring at herself in the mirror. It is easy to tell by the dark circles under her eyes, and the puffy bags from crying, that Henley didn’t sleep.

I lean up on my arm, and stroke Henley
’s hair back off her forehead. She doesn’t move. Its like she doesn’t even feel it. I feel horrible. All the relaxed trust I managed to build with her is gone. I don’t know what to do.

“
Henley… Lover I’m so sorry. I didn’t-”

Her whole body jerks up suddenly until she is sitting straight up.
“I’m using your shower.”

“
O…kay…” by the time the words out of my mouth she has already closed the bathroom door. With a sigh I lean my head against the door, and I can’t hear a single thing inside. “I’ll make you something to eat.”

Getting no response, I trudge out of my room toward the kitchen. The light is spilling through the floor to ceiling windows, making the whole place feel light and airy. It
’s not. If I don’t figure out how to fix this, this oppressive feeling might drown me.

My body is on auto pilot as I fry up the eggs and bacon. My mind tries to replay last night, but I can
’t figure out what set her off. I mean maybe I shouldn’t have put my dick in her mouth without asking… but surely it didn’t warrant a reaction like this? And even after she broke down on that table, she let me hold her. She still let me touch her. So maybe it isn’t me at all that had her freaking out… but then what could it have been?

I pull the bacon and eggs off and drop them on a plate, and set it on the table. There is still no sound coming from the bathroom, so I work my way back towards the door. Pressing my ear against the door I try to listen in, but I don
’t hear any sounds. Not even running water.

"Henley
… I’m coming in.” She doesn’t respond at all so I take that as confirmation that its okay to open the door.

When I catch sight of her, my whole body freezes. There is blood everywhere. The straight razor my father got me a few years ago is clutched tightly in her hand. You can see where it easily parted the skin on her forearms. The new cuts are framed by pale faded old ones. Jagged, and covering her arms from her wrist almost all the way to her elbows.

She is standing so still, her eyes focused entirely on the opened cuts, that I don’t know is she even sees me standing here. I don’t know if she sees anything.

“
Henley…”

Her whole body starts, her eyes flicking up to me, and then with a grimace flicking back down. Her whole face changes the moment she really
notices
the blood. She flicks the razor out of her hands, and it hits the ground ringing out in the silence between us.

“
I’ll… we’ll… doctor…” my mind, unable to focus entirely on one solution to the problem, is racing out of control. What the hell is going on. This is my fault. Whatever I did… whatever I didn’t do… I caused this.

“
Henley,” I start moving slowly toward her.

A look of disgusted panic passes her face before she shoves her hands into my chest as hard as her little body is able.
“Don’t touch me! Just don’t…” her body gives one final shiver before she turns and bolts right out of the bathroom.

“
Shit,” I don’t have time to think. I don’t have time to wonder or worry about her not wanting me to touch her. I just run after her. When I round the hallway into the living room, I catch a glimpse of her dipping into the foyer. It only takes me a few strides to make it across the living room, but when I make it to the foyer I’m already too late.

Henley is leaning against the back of the elevator sobbing as the doors close. I bolt toward the fire escape, and begin running down the stairs. I
’ve only got to go down five flights before I can get on the public elevator and try to catch up with her. I take the steps three at a time, bursting out of the fire escape door and into the hallway.

I shove past a couple getting off the elevator and press the button for the lobby. It takes forever for the elevator to reach the bottom. It seemed like every two floors the elevator stopped to pick people up. They all took one look at me in the elevator and changed their minds.

When I get to the lobby there are a few people walking around, but none of them are Henley. I run my hands through my hair and head over to the concierge desk. It’s the same woman that was there last night. I think she sleeps there. If she sleeps. I try my best to smile as I walk up, but I can feel that it’s not working. My muscles are pulling in all the wrong ways.

“
Hi, did you happen to see a young woman run out? The same one I carried in last night?”

“
First of all Mr. McKerrick if I
ever
catch you dragging a drugged woman back to your condo again I’m going to call the cops. I gave you the benefit of the doubt last night that your friend might have been drunk… but if another girl comes running out of here looking like that and
crying
? You are so getting arrested.” With a blink of her eyes she turns off her glare and smiles at the person standing next to me.

Fuck
. I jog out the front door and onto the sidewalk. People are milling about in the early morning sun, and none of them are Henley. With a sigh I turn and head back inside. Slowly making my way back to the top on the private elevator. When I get back to my condo I consider calling Henley, there is nothing else for me to do, so with shaking fingers I pick  up my phone and dial her cell number. There is a whirring vibrating sound coming from the coffee table in the living room, and there on the table is Henley’s purse. Fuck. Of course she wouldn’t have answered even if she had her phone. Why would she? When it seems like she doesn’t want anything to do with me. The look on her face before she pushed me away tells me she won’t want to see me again.

Of course she waited until I knew I was falling in love with her to tear my heart out.
I knew better
. Relationships always fall apart. It just so happens that ours fell apart like this. But if I don’t know what happened to her I won’t be able to get over her either. So I have to at least make sure she is okay.

My assistant answers on the second ring.

“I need you to look at hospital admissions. I need to know if someone named Henley Williams gets checked in.”