Torrid Affair (20 page)

My hand drew back, and with one swift motion, my fist collided with Julian’s jaw. “You want to hit someone, you pick on someone your own size,” I growled.

His body fell to the ground, but he pushed himself back up and darted in my direction. His arms went around my waist, and he slammed me to the ground.

“No!” I heard Brielle crying as the air was shoved out of my lungs.

“Stop it!” Delaney cried, but Julian and I continued to wrestle. I took a few punches to my ribs, but I returned them with a few body shots. “Goddamn it, Nate, your son is watching!” Delaney’s voice screeched.

I wanted to defend Brielle, but I didn’t want Caleb to see such rage in his father. Shoving Julian off my body, I stood. Without another word, I marched toward my house and didn’t look back. I couldn’t. I was too afraid that if I didn’t walk away when I did, I might have killed him for laying his hands on her.

I slammed the sliding door shut. “Fuck!”

It was my fault.

It was my fault she was with him.

J
ulian slept
on the couch after his argument with Nate. Delaney asked me what was going on, but when she saw my face, she knew. She had a few choice words for Julian, who told her to fuck off before he took off down the street. Once he was out of sight, she asked if I wanted to take a ride with her and Caleb to get ice cream. I apologized for Julian and told her I was too exhausted to move. Once I was upstairs, I rushed to my phone and sent Nate a text message. I’d had the same number for ten years, and he was still stored in there as Nicole.

Me: Thank you.

It was the only thing I could say.

He didn’t respond. I was positive his number was still the same, as I’d compared it to Julian’s phone many times in the past. It wasn’t until the following day I heard from him.

I woke up to a painfully bruised cheek. Well, a re-bruised cheek as the purple and blue marks from the previous blow were only beginning to fade away. Julian snored peacefully on the couch while I got ready for work.

It had rained most of the morning and gray skies lingered above. My mood worsened when I screwed up a regular’s order. Bart had been coming to the diner for lunch for the past fifteen years. Every Monday he ordered the meatloaf special, but my mind was lost in the fight between Julian and Nate and I switched his order with someone else’s.

Most southern men were polite. Bart wasn’t.

“How stupid do you have to be?” He shoved his plate in front of him. “For fifteen years I’ve been coming to this damn joint.”

I’m so very sorry.” I reached for the plate. “I’ll get your meatloaf right out.”

“I’ve been waiting for the past twenty minutes. Do you think it will be right out? Do you? How stupid are you?”

I bowed my head, embarrassed that most of the other customers were staring in my direction. “I’m very sorry, sir.” I cleared my throat. “Your lunch will be on me.” I hoped that offered him some solace.

“I don’t understand.” He pushed off the chair and stood. “I’ve been ordering the same thing since God knows when. Your job is so mindless an imbecile could do it.”

Tears began to drip out of my eyes. I had nothing left in me to fight anyone else.

“Enough!” Nate’s voice was stern and loud behind me. “She’s apologized, sir, and it was an accident. Now either wait the twenty minutes for a new one or get out.”

The diner was silent. All eyes were on us. Bart muttered a few more words before he sat back down.

“Are you okay?” Nate asked.

I shook my head and ran toward the back exit. Star Diner backed up to a small stream and wooded area. It was the place most employees used for a quick break.

I’d wanted something different when I came here. A chance for Julian to get the help he needed. I wanted to be happy. Instead, I was screwing everything up. And Nate always seemed to come to my rescue, which only made it more painful. Kneeling on the grass, I let a soft sob escape me. Black drops appeared on my skirt from my mascara. I scooped a bit of water from the stream and ran my fingers under my eyes. I heard footsteps approaching.

“Are you okay?” Nate asked

I cleared my throat before I answered. “Yes.”

He sat beside me. He didn’t seem to care that the grass would ruin his navy suit. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not really.” I shook my head.

“Brielle.” He said my name softly.

“Nathaniel,” I retorted.

We sat in silence for a few minutes.

“You seem different.”

Shaking my head, I disagreed with him. “I'm not different. I'm the same person I've always been.”

“How can you love him?” His voice was low. “How can you love a man who puts his hands on you?”

I bowed my head and closed my eyes. I had so much to say, but it wasn’t the time. That’s how things worked between Nate and me. We were never in the same time zone. “He wasn't always this bad.” My voice was barely a whisper but I knew he heard me. “I fell in love with Julian when he was there to pick up the fragmented parts of my heart that you left behind. You destroyed me.”

Nate hissed under his breath. The truth hurt us both.

“The relationship I have with him is unconventional, and it's not healthy in any sense of the word. But when I needed him the most, when I needed someone to hold me up, someone to anchor me, he was there to pick up the pieces.” I shook my head and looked over at him as anger began to sink in. “So, the way I love him, and the reason I stay, is none of your concern.”

“Brielle . . .” Nate reached out his hand and tried to console me.

“No!” I swatted his hand away and stood. “You don't get to be the hero in my life anymore.” Nate rose and met my stance. Angrily, I wiped the tears from my eyes. I needed to stay mad at him. If not, everything would crumble because I was only holding on by a thin thread.

“I came here because I need help getting your brother the help he needs. I'm not here as your charity case. I don't need you to defend me. So take your pitiful eyes and look at someone else because I'm fine. Julian and I are fine.”

I couldn't let him know the truth. That I was stuck in a loveless marriage. That when I needed him the most, Julian was the one person I could rely on, and that was a debt I could never repay.

That’s why I stayed.

“That’s no way to live,” Nate whispered.

“I stopped living ten years ago.” I moved around him.

Nate’s hand gripped my elbow. “Wait.” He turned me back toward him. His free hand gently ran across my bruised cheek. I looked deep into his eyes and, for the first time in ten years, I let myself feel.

“You’ve never been a charity case.” His voice was low and husky. “You have been, and will always be, the woman I love.”

I shook my head. We were dancing around a line that we were forbidden to cross. “I don’t think your wife would like that very much.” I reminded us both of the parties involved. “I have to get going.” I tugged my arm free.

Without another word, I turned and ran inside the diner to collect my things. My heart raced a million miles a minute, but I couldn’t let my feelings cloud my judgment. Nate was married, he had a family, and I had Julian.

* * *

I
clocked
out an hour early from work. The lunch rush had passed, and there was plenty of staff to cover. Fran understood that Bart’s yelling had taken a toll on me and she allowed me to go home.

Nate's car was nowhere in sight when I walked out of the diner. I didn’t want to go home and see him or Julian, so I took a detour and drove for an hour before I pulled into Norman State Park. Not much had changed since the last time I was there. A few new signs with the park information, the bushes were trimmed, and some trees were bigger than the last time. I parked my car in the usual spot and went to sit by the lake.

The grass was green, the trees were in full bloom, and a breeze blew in off the lake. It was a peaceful afternoon, but my mind ran all over the place.
How did I let my life get this crazy? How, after so many years, could I still love Nate?

I was tired of crying. Tired of being the victim. I was exhausted.

Drained.

The person I was ten years ago would look at me and laugh. I always swore I never wanted to be like my mother. That I would let no man control me.  

I dug into my purse and pulled out my phone. I needed Yve to make me laugh. The phone rang twice before she answered.

“Good morning, sugar tits.” Her voice echoed through the small speaker on my phone.

I sighed and lay back on the grass. The warm sun made my skin tingle. “Hey, Yve.”

“Aw, shit. What happened?” 

“Nothing.” I tried to sound cheerful but failed miserably.

“Brielle, I know when you're full of shit. So, you can tell me what's going on, or I can get on a plane and go kick some major fucking southern ass.”

I chuckled. Speaking to Yve was better than any therapist. “I don't know where to start.”

“Did you sleep with Nate?” 

“No!”

“Are you debating whether you should sleep with Nate?”

“No.” I paused. The thought had crossed my mind, but I was still very angry with him. “I’m ignoring Nate.”

“Then, what?”

I filled my lungs and blurted out everything. “Julian backhanded me, Nate found me crying and knocked out Julian, and Delaney saw her husband defend me.”

“Oh, babe . . .”

“Then today a customer yelled at me, and Nate defended me again, and I feel as though nothing is going the way it’s supposed to.”

“Okay. First, when are you going to leave the fucking asshole? You know he doesn’t deserve you. And of course Nate is going to defend you. Anyone who sees what Julian is doing to you will come to your rescue. You know you deserve more, babe.”

“Sometimes I don’t even know who I am anymore.”

“You need to fight back. You went there so things could get better. And if you’re going to live thousands of miles away from me, I want you to be happy.”

“You’re right.” I sighed.

“Damn skippy, I’m right.”

“I love you, Yve.”

“I know, because I’m freaking awesome.”

I laughed. “Enough about me. What’s going on with you?”

She grunted. “Nothing. I was on the brink of an orgasm when you called.”

My hand slapped across my forehead. “What . . . Are you . . . Are you having sex
right
now?
”

“Sure am.” I heard the unmistakable slap of a palm across flesh. “Steve here was just listening to my religious prayers.”

“Oh, God.”

“That’s what I said.”

“I’m letting you go.” I hung up the phone.
Who the hell was Steve, and what happened to Ryan?

A few minutes had passed and my gaze was focused on the white fluffy clouds above when light footfalls ran past me.

“Hey, Aunt Brie!” Caleb shouted as he zipped past me with a fishing pole in his hand. I pushed off the sand and rested on my elbows.

“I figured I’d find you here.” Nate appeared behind me. I sighed dramatically. “It’s nice to see you, too.”

“I want to be alone.” I shook my head and lay back down. “And you’re the last person I want to see.”

“Wow. I didn’t know I’d be worse than Julian.” I opened an eye and found that Nate was sitting right behind me. “I figured your husband would be the last person you’d want to see.”

“Nate, I’m tired. I don’t want to talk about Julian.”

“But you avoid me like the plague, and
I
want to talk about him.”

I huffed and sat up. His eyes were on Caleb, who was two hundred yards away. “I’ll give you five questions. Go.”

“Do you hate me?” From the corner of my eye, I saw his head turn in my direction.

My gaze was on Caleb, but I could feel Nate watching me. Inhaling, I looked over at him. “I thought you wanted to talk about your brother?”

“Well, it’s my fault. I sent him after you when—”

“When you were too much of a coward to call me?” I cocked one eyebrow at him.

“I was going to go—”

I shook my head and lifted a hand to stop him. “Seriously, I don’t need to hear it.”

“I think you do.”

“You picked her, and you didn’t even have the decency to call or tell me.”

Nate shifted so he faced me. “I was packed, and my boarding pass was printing when I found Delaneysitting on my steps.” His eyes scanned mine. “She told me she was pregnant. What was I supposed to do? I couldn’t abandon a child. Not when everyone who was supposed to love me had left me.”

I felt my lower lip quiver. Tears threatened to fall, but I kept them at bay. “I knew you’d never leave once she told you.” I wanted to tell him that in my heart I knew Caleb wasn’t his, but I couldn’t form the words. Not when it was written all over his face how much he loved that boy. “I understand, but I still hate you.”

He looked out toward Caleb, then back at me. “Why?”

I shook my head. “It’s easier to hate you than admit that I’m still in love with you.” The last three words came out as a whisper. Nate held my gaze, and I desperately wanted to be held in his arms.

“Dad!” Caleb’s voice pulled me out of my trance. He was running toward us, his hand pointed to where a gentleman and younger boy were approaching.

“Delaney said you took Caleb fishing,” the man said in a southern accent. Nate stood and shook his hand as they exchanged pleasantries.

“This is Brielle, my . . .” He paused for a second. “Sister-in-law, Julian’s wife.”

The man smiled at me. “Oh, right.” He extended his hand. “Bill Thompson, and this is Bentley.” I shook Bill’s hand and smiled at the young boy. “Bentley here nagged me about spending the afternoon with Caleb, and when Delaney said you guys went fishing, I figured I could take them out on the boat for a few.”

“Can I, Dad?” Caleb looked up at Nate with hopeful eyes.

“Sure thing.”

Nate and Bill exchanged a few words about where Nate would wait for them before they said their good-byes. Then they drove off and headed toward the dock. When the car was out of sight, Nate looked over at me.

“How bad has he hit you?”

“That’s irrelevant.”

His voice grew with anger. “He’s three times your size, Brielle, and from what I’ve been told about his interviews, Julian is demanding.”