Totem (19 page)

              With those comforting words, Ty pulls me into his chest wrapping his arms around me. I know he is speaking the truth. He will always be there to rescue me but I have to push for more answers.

              “The vampire said I didn’t know what you are and that I should ask you. I did not know what he meant but I need to know the truth. So what are you? Are you human?”

              The mood in the room changes with my words. I cannot pin the exact feeling filtering through. So I wait. I wait for his response in silence listening to the small pounding of his heart. The sound is beautiful. Why didn’t he answer my question right away?

              “I am very much human.” Ty replies letting out a sigh. “You just have trust me that I will keep you safe. Anything else that I tell you will only put you in more danger. The less you know about me, the better.”

              He kisses my forehead. I feel warmth radiating from him like I am lying in the sun. Ty is my light. I have to trust him. It is my only choice.

              “What happened to your cell phone?”

              “The vampire crushed it.”

              “That seems about up to par with them. Well, we should go get you a new one.”

              “I called my mom from Michelle’s phone. She is placing money in my bank account but it won’t process through until tomorrow.”

              “That won’t do.” Ty remarks. “How will I call you tonight?”

              “I guess you will have to wait until tomorrow.”

              “That definitely won’t do. Get changed and I’ll take you to dinner then buy you a new phone.”

              “The dinner part, yes, but I can’t let you spend money on me for a new phone. It would be too much.”

              Ty lifts up my chin so that I am looking directly in his eyes. His smile is reassuring. He leans in and gives me another kiss.

              “I insist on buying you a phone. Now get dressed.”

              “I need a shower first.” I reply planting sweet kisses on his lips.

              “Get to it.”

              I hop down from the bed excited at the fact I will be spending the afternoon with Ty. I have reservations about him buying me a cell phone but I did not know how to approach it. I will have to figure out a way to pay him back.

              Within no time, I am clean and showered. I step out of the bathroom wrapped in my towel. Ty is still where I left him lying comfortably on my bed. The sight of me in nothing more than a towel makes him perk up. He shoots me a crooked smile as he sits up in bed. I return his smile as I walk over to my wardrobe and open it. I glance back at Ty. His eyes are locked on me watching my every move. All of a sudden I get a bright idea. I shoot him a flirtatious smile as I bend down to retrieve a pair of underwear from the drawer. The towel rises up stopping just before the creases of my butt.  I stand up nonchalantly glancing back at Ty. He is sitting upright in bed watching me. I smile at myself knowing full well from the expression on his face that I have his full attention.

              With the towel still wrapped around my body and my back to Ty, I slip on the panties. I slide them up my legs being careful not to reveal anything. I glance back flashing him a sly smile. He leans his head on his elbow as his body shifts to the side. His chocolate brown eyes are fixated on me as animal longing rises up in them. With panties situated in place, I shoot him one more smile and drop the towel exposing my back side. The only article of clothing keeping me from being completely naked is my bikini style underwear. I put my clothes on tantalizingly slow all the time not looking at Ty. I know he will be watching. He waits until I am fully dressed to hop out of the bed. In two strides he is across the room and scooping me up into his arms. My feet lift off the ground and he kisses my neck first before finding my lips.

              “What are you trying to do to me girl?”

              “Nothing you haven’t already done to me.” I retort.

              A crooked smile creeps over his face as he lowers me to the ground. Even in this virtually innocent moment, I am teased by Ty. I want him in every way he will let me have him. Was it just infatuation? Maybe hormones have a part in it. Either way I have fallen for the mysterious person in front of me. Not even the threat of a vampire can keep me away from him. My mind absent mindedly wanders back to the warning the vampire heeded about Ty. Whatever he was or is couldn’t be bad. That just wouldn’t be him.

              “Get your shoes on so we can head out. Which cell phone provider do you have?”

              “You really don’t have to get me a cell phone.” I reply. “My mom is sending money and I will be able to go pick one out tomorrow.”

              “I know, but I want to.” He says. “Consider it a gift.”

              I did not know how to kindly deny his gift without sounding mean. Dropping the subject, I throw on some flip flops and grab my purse. I write a note for Michelle letting her know what I am doing and leave it on her desk. I quickly analyze my note placement and figure it will be the best spot for Michelle to see it when she walks into the room. I turn on my heels and make my way out of my dorm. Ty grabs my hand as we walk down the hallway. My heart beats faster at his innocent yet public display of affection as we walk down the stairs and out the side door to the parking lot. I search for Ty’s bronco or mustang but am disappointed when I do not spot them. Instead, he leads me to a silver car set away from the rest of the parked cars. I watch the headlights flash as an audible click rings out when Ty unlocks the car with his remote.

              “Is this your car too?” I ask in disbelief as he holds open the passenger door for me.

              “One of them.” Ty replies again.

              “Where’s the mustang?”

              “It’s in the shop.”

              I stare in amazement at the interior as I hop into the silver BMW convertible which Ty states is one of his many cars. He shuts the door behind enclosing me in the car. I am alone for a brief few moments. I take the time to admire the interior which is immaculately clean. I run my fingers across the panels as I gaze at the dashboard.  It is as if he has never driven this car.

              Ty opens the driver side door and hops into the seat. He shoots me one of his sideways smiles and I feel my heart melting again.

              “So how come you don’t drive this car more often?”

              “I don’t like to drive it around very much. It is too flashy. Plus I would rather drive around something that I don’t mind getting beat up. New Orleans streets can be brutal.”

              “Then why do you have it?”

              Ty pauses for a second pondering my question. He turns on the engine then finds a radio station to listen to.

              “Good point. I think because it was a present. With the way my… family is, it is disrespectful to turn down… gifts. It’s just like now where I want to get you a gift.”

              He winks at me as he makes his point. I can’t believe he parlayed my questions into a statement about his cell phone being a gift. I roll my eyes in protest.

              “But I am not family.” I state.

              “No, but you are someone I care about. So that is like family.”

              My cheeks blush as his sweet words catch me by surprise. My heart begins to race and I have to look away to hide my big goofy grin. When I got it all under control, I look back at him with a normal smile. His words have the reaction he was looking for. With a big, crooked smile, he leans in and gives me a peck on the lips. He places the car in drive. His eyes linger on mine before shifting to the road as we quickly race away. 

             
I stare down at my cell
phone willing it to ring. Willing a text to appear from a man who has been absent from my life for the past two weeks. He had warned me that he had to go out of town. I remember feeling disappointment rise up as the thoughts of not seeing him for a few weeks popped in my head. For the first time, Ty was completely inaccessible. I saw him almost every day and texted him even more. The thought of him being gone from sight was bearable but not wanted. He had told me that he had business to attend to. He had also left me with a list of cautionary steps and words that sounded more like demands.

              First, I was not supposed to go out at night alone. I should always be with a friend. Going with a group of people would be even better. Second was Michelle and I needed to close our blinds at night when we were in the room. Michelle protested this one a little because we were high up enough so that people below could not look in. I simply made up an excuse about the morning light bothering me as it filtered through the window. She allowed it after a little sulking. Above all else, I was not to call or text him unless it was an emergency. Ty told me that he was not allowed to have a cell phone but that he is breaking the rules for me. In light of everything that has happened, he wanted to make sure I could reach him. With this final list of demands and a lasting kiss, he left me only days after I found out vampires are real.

              Two weeks later, I am sitting at my desk in my room studying for yet another round of tests. I look down at the orange box that Ty had replaced my broken cell phone with. The LG looked up at me with its small screen. For as bulky as it is, it is actually really cool. The phone opens up revealing an even bigger screen and a keyboard for typing texts. It can even connect to the internet. Ty happily agreed to hook up the internet for me and even pay, but I knew my parents would be mad if I did that. I let out another sigh. How I wish I can talk to him. It has been too long. I look at my computer with the web page opened up to my teacher’s study tools. I skim through my notes. I am quickly losing my discipline to study.  I open up another internet browser and begin searching the web haphazardly looking for things that will catch my attention. I aim to find anything that will distract me from studying. To no avail I close it then lean back in my seat.

              I hear the door click open and look up to see Michelle and Andrew walking in to the room. A huge smile crosses my face at the site of Michelle’s big shopping bag. It is like she is on a mission to buy out the store every time she goes shopping. We never discuss money, but from the site of her shopping bags and the lack of a job, I imagine her parents are sending her a hefty living allowance every month. My parents give me money, but it only seems to be enough to live by and occasionally go out.

              “Hey, boo,” exclaims Andrew. “Are you still studying for those tests?”

              “Yeah,” I say. “I am determined to try and turn that B into an A.”

              I have been working on that biology grade for forever. The bio test is not for another week, but my sociology and psychology grades are already secured as A’s. It is the biology grade that threatens my perfect 4.0. So study I must.

              “A’s are overrated.” Andrew scoffs.

              “Oh really?” I ask skeptical.

              “Yes,” states Andrew. “It’s just a grade and in the end, it will not help you at all for a job. Jobs are all about getting the experience and training. Getting a degree in English is not going to help unless you know how to teach it or already have hook ups to get a book published. Those hook ups only come from working it or knowing someone. The same goes with other jobs. You can learn all the mundane facts about biology, but in the end, you will learn what you need to know on the job or you will have to receive more training at an advanced school.”

              “Yeah, an advanced school that you have to get into with a good GPA.” I retort.

              “Are you going to grad school?”

              “I don’t know yet,” I reply, “but I would like to leave that option on the table.”

              “Fair enough,” replies Andrew. “So when are you going to be done studying? We should watch a movie.”

              I slump in my chair letting out one more frustrated sigh. I look at the clock. I have been at this study thing for nearly three hours. It is definitely time for a break. I feel a slight hunger pain rise in my stomach as my mind begins to wonder towards all the things that I have been neglecting in my effort to better my grade. I close my books and look up at Andrew who meets my eyes with a big giant grin.

              “Now,” I respond smiling. “I have done enough studying for today. I do want to go to the store though and rummage for something that is somewhat healthy for dinner. Is that ok with you?”

              “Absolutely, my boo! I’ll go with you. I’m kind of hungry myself.”

              After a few minutes, Andrew and I walk back into my dorm room with snacks in hand. As usual, there is very little healthy food in the store. I did manage to find raw carrots, celery, and broccoli in a cup. I also purchased a lean pocket. I can see my mom now smiling and shaking her head at my dinner. It is very much a dinner made for a college kid who is too lazy to walk to the cafeteria. In our case, no cafeteria is open on a Sunday after 3 pm. Not enough of the student body lives on campus to make it worth while. Most of the time, I do not mind. New Orleans is a vast city with an infinite amount of options for food. I almost want to go out all the time, but tonight is a stay-at-home type of night. I pop the lean pocket in the microwave as Andrew makes himself comfy on Michelle’s bed. Michelle rummages through her movie collection looking for something to watch.

              “How about Shrek?” Michelle asks.

              “That’s a good movie.” I respond.

              “Ugh,” says Andrew. “I have seen that movie way too many times.”

              “Ok,” replies Michelle continuing her search. “How about Harry Potter?!”

              I smile as my microwave dings at me. Michelle is a closet nerd when it comes to Harry Potter. Her younger brother got her hooked on it. Now she gets excited any chance she can for that wand wielding child wizard. It is quite entertaining to say the least.

              “I know that is your thing, Michelle,” replies Andrew, “but it is not my thing. Do you have any adult movies?”

              Michelle shoots him a look. Andrew grins and shrugs his shoulders enjoying every little moment of diva behavior he is inflicting on poor Michelle. She turns her attention back to the stack of movies in her plastic box as she searches for something that will appease Andrew.

              “What about My Big Fat Greek Wedding?” Michelle says it hesitantly almost like she expects Andrew to turn it down.

              “I love that movie.” Says Andrew. “That guy in it is hot. He is hotter in Sex and the city, but still, he is fuckable in this movie too.”

              “Are you ok with that Kimber?” Michelle looks over at me.

              “Of course, I am.”

              I smile at Michelle reassuring her that it is fine. We found a movie that Andrew agreed on and I am not going to have Michelle look through any more of those movies. Besides, I like that movie. I grab my lean pocket and cup of healthy vegetables and make my way to my bed. I learned quickly that space is limited in dorm life. Often the places you would sit to eat at home are not readily available for you here. So my bed becomes a make shift couch for guests as well as an eat-in kitchenette for meals. It is college life at its finest. The icing on the cake would have been boxed wine out of plastic cups, but we had finished that off last week. Michelle pops in the movie. She turns on her desk light and flips off the main light before climbing into her bed beside Andrew.

              “You don’t want to join us over here?” Andrew asks patting the small space not inhabited by them.

              “I’ll cuddle with you two when I’m done eating. Right now, I need some elbow room.”

              I never did make my way over to Michelle’s bed. The dim lights and my full stomach caused my mind to drift off. I only woke when I heard a knock on the door. Quickly I pop awake. My eyes are still heavy from the food coma I had fallen in to. Michelle pops out of bed and saunters over to the door. I look up at the television to see the main character dressed in that monstrous wedding dress and smile. I unintentionally slept through the whole movie. Michelle stands on her tippy toes and looks out the peep hole at the unexpected visitor. Even in the dim light of her desk lamp clear across the room I can see Michelle’s face light up with a brilliant smile as she recognizes the person outside our door. Quickly she flings open the door. She pops out her hip accentuating her curves.

              “Hey stranger.” She jests in a flirtatious manner.

              “Hey yourself.” The familiar voice chimes from the bright hallway.

              Daniel steps into the room carrying a twelve pack of light beer and a movie. Directly behind him is Jake. I smile and wave at the two of them. Jake flashes me a dimple filled grin from underneath his floppy hair and baseball cap. It is typical Jake. Immediately I feel a little bad. I have been so stuck on Ty that it has been forever since I have talked to Jake. He shrugs his shoulders as he points at Daniel as if saying this was all his idea.

              “Hey Andrew,.” Daniel waves to acknowledge Andrew in the bed.

              A small bit of tension is in Daniel’s face as he sizes up Andrew in Michelle’s bed, but it is gone almost instantly. Perhaps Daniel is reminding himself of Andrew’s sexual preferences. Under his scrutiny, I see Andrew correct his posture out of the corner of my eye as he sits up straight. His face gets a little more serious even with a smile as he waves to Daniel and Jake.

              The sight makes me frown a little inside. I have seen Andrew do this time and time again when he is around straight guys that he does not know very well. He puts up a guard. It is imperceptible to the casual onlooker, but to me, I see it. Each move seems to be calculated and controlled. It is as if Andrew is scared to be his own person around them. On one hand, I understand. You don’t want to give them a reason to dislike you right from the start. Perhaps he has tried to be himself from the very beginning before only to have backlash and ridicule. On the other hand, maybe the person Michelle and I have grown to love and accept is all a show. Maybe Andrew is really this guarded person we see when he is around other guys and only we bring out the fun loving Andrew. Either way, I wish Andrew would just be who he is meant to be whether it is our carefree Andrew or this guarded one. I hope the carefree, slightly sassy and all too happy one is the real him. Hopefully one day we will know for sure.

              “So I was staying in the dorm tonight and needed a study break.” Daniel explains talking mostly to Michelle. “How does beer and a movie sound?”

              “That sounds great. We are almost finished with this movie then we can pop yours in.”

              Michelle tilts her head to the side and pulls back her shoulders pushing out her chest. Daniel’s eyes stay resolutely fixed on hers and you can see the extra effort it takes for him not to look down.

              “Great,” says Daniel.

              He places the twelve pack of beer on my empty chair. He rips open the box and begins handing out beers to all in the room. Jake walks over to my bed. I tap the empty spot beside me signaling for him to hop up. He smiles widely as he leaps into the vacant spot.

              “Hey stranger,” Jake says mimicking Michelle.

              “Hey yourself,” I state copying Daniels response.

              We both laugh. Michelle sticks out her tongue at us as she crawls back into the bed with Andrew who has a smug look on his face as if he got the girl. Daniel hands her a beer and takes a seat in the chair in front of her. Playfully Michelle places her feet on Daniel’s back. We all settle in to watch the last fifteen minutes of the movie. Jake and I begin to whisper quietly.

              “So I haven’t seen you in a while.” states Jake.

              “Yeah,” I reply. “I have been a little busy.”

              I shrug apologetically. All my spare time has been spent with Ty. Now that he is gone, I seem to spend all my time busying myself to keep my mind off of him. For some reason though, Jake never came to mind. I kick myself for letting time lapse so much without talking to him.

              “So what have you been up to?”  I ask making small talk.

              “The usual,” shrugs Jake. “There is school and fraternity and work with the occasional passionate weekend romances that end when the sun rises Monday morning.”

              “Oh really?”

              “No, no romances,” replies Jake, “but it made you jealous right?”

              “Only slightly,” I joke.

              Jake smiles and I can see those cute boyish dimples in the dim light. He lightly taps my leg as his attention turns towards the television. His touch makes me all too aware of our close proximity as I second guess myself for letting him up into my bed. My gesture is completely harmless. I am merely offering a friend a place to sit in a room with limited seats but I cannot help but feel a slight tinge of guilt as if I am doing something wrong. It is as if I was in some way cheating on Ty. The thought is absurd. Despite my feelings for Ty and our slew of dates, we still have not established what we are. This according to me leaves me open to date whomever I want.