Authors: Jessie M.
“
Okay, see you then Josh. Let me know if you need any more help anyway.” She gets up and follows me to the door.
I politely make my escape and sigh deeply with relief as I walk back to my stable. Well that was a little personal. A touch embarrassing, even. Sarah the ice queen melting on me like that... Still, I'm the new Josh now. I wouldn't have encouraged her whatever she said or did. The new trustworthy Josh. I smile inside and out with the first temptation test I've passed.
I feel all warm and pleased with myself and send my one true love a sweet message.
“
Love you.”
“
Shut up with the love you stuff.”
“
See you tomorrow honey bunny.”
“
Please shut up you idiot.”
“
I love you abusing me”
“
SHUT THE FUCK UP AND STOP TEXTING ME ABOUT NOTHING.”
“
You're so sweet when you're ratty, I love you even more.”
“
OK I give up. I love you too. Have a good evening babe :)”
“
Wish you were here, my bed is missing you ;)”
“
OMG, can I come over and get in it?”
“
Would you?”
“
NO.”
I'm so pleased we're back to our normal line of friendly conversation. Things can only get better now. I'm rather looking forward to tomorrow. Work and evening... It's a fucking miracle, I usually hate Mondays.
I sit and study Sarah's notes and absorb as much as I can. I have some more questions for Keira about what she wants to happen as far as Andrew and her brother are concerned. There are a few possibilities which involve them being arrested. I get the feeling she wouldn't want that and I'm not sure how far she wants to take this. I decide to leave it until after her holiday. I want to sit and discuss it all with Luke in the meantime. In fact, much as I don't want to, I might have to involve my father in this as well. I'll talk to Luke about that first too.
After that I busy myself with some studying for a while and then hop into bed. I'm so organised nowadays.
I don't believe this is me.
I arrive at Eden's house at 7pm on Monday evening after a quick visit home to change. I've brought us a bottle of vintage Pinot Grigio Rose and have a Twilight DVD for Lorraine to watch if she fancies it as she seems to like teenage vampire movies. I have to admit with a fair degree of shame that the DVD is mine. Kristen Stewart is another one of my screen loves. It's the cute front teeth and gorgeous face and hair that do it for me because she's a little too thin otherwise.
“Put this in the freezer for a half hour.” I give her my warm bottle of wine.
“
Oh Josh, is that Twilight? I just love it!” Well, to be honest it wasn't my intention to watch Twilight myself tonight, but if it hits Eden's hot spot, then it's a goer with me.
First we have Eden's lovely dinner which is a salmon and potato pie. And very nice and tasty it is too. I'm most impressed. I help her clear up in the kitchen afterwards, quite happily for once. Very soon after that I find myself sitting in the middle of Lorraine and Eden while we watch the Edward, Jacob and Bella romp. I have to say it's a very nice feeling being a man sandwich. Eden snuggles up against me sipping her wine. I'm in a perfect state of contentment. I could do this every day. I've gone all soft and domesticated.
After two sensual and atmospheric hours, Lorraine disappears off to bed and we're alone on the sofa. I think I'm okay to drive, but I really, really don't want to go. Twilight has made me feel all loved up and full of dark, moody desire.
“
Josh?”
“
Yeah?”
“
I've been doing some thinking, about the things you told me yesterday. You're being too hard on yourself. You have some really lovely qualities. You're kind and helpful. You listen to me. You try to cheer me up when I feel down. I love your filthy sense of humour. You're dedicated and focused with your work. If you want my honest opinion, your only bad traits are your immaturity about sex and your fixation with having quantity rather than quality relationships with women.”
“
Oh really?” I reply in a sarcastic tone. I don't like being told I'm immature about sex, in any way at all, even though I know it's true.
And fuck, she doesn't really know the half of it.
“
Now don't get grumpy with me. I'm being nice. Trying to make you feel better about yourself.”
“
I don't think I'll feel better for quite a while to be truthful.”
“
Why?”
“
I regret it all, that's why. I regret being a 'slut' which you quite rightly called me the other day. I regret it spoiling my chances with you. I regret fucking around with some very unsavoury women in unpleasant places. I regret using girls so much and most of all I regret the last five or so pointless shit filled years of my life, which I've spent doing nothing, except sinking lower and lower in my own self esteem.” Much to my horror my eyes are filling up from admitting all this out loud. I take a gulp and try to pull myself together.
“
Josh, my God.” Her eyes are all glassy too. I can't stand emotional moments like this. I don't know how to behave.
“
Yes.... 'my God' says it all right. Look I'd better go, it's getting late.” I need to escape. I'm suddenly feeling exhausted and miserable with all this self examination and inner criticism.
“
Why don't you stay? I want you to.”
“
I don't think I should.”
“
Look we can sleep together without anything happening, can't we? And I want to hold you and make you feel happy again.”
“
Hold me? What, like a hug?”
“
Mmmm, please?” My miserable mood has instantly evaporated at the prospect of hugging her in bed. Hopefully a very long one.
“
I'd love a hug. But you'd better keep some more clothes on this time though.”
“
And you can keep some more of yours on as well.”
And here we are, ten minutes later, with just our jeans removed, in Eden's bed. And she is hugging me tightly with her head on my shoulder and her naked leg wrapped around mine. I stroke her hair, moved and choked up to be so close to her. She cares enough to want to be with me all night long in quite an intimate situation.
I'm beginning to feel more hopeful about us again. I can win her round, I'm sure I can. I have to, because I need her to love and want me as much as I need to breathe.
Then out of the blue, she whispers in my ear in the dark.
“Josh, kiss the hell out of me. I can't go another day without it.”
My heart instantly pounds out of my chest, soaring up high. “But Eden, what you said...?”
She turns the light on again and leans up on her elbow looking at me intensely. She bites her lip. “I lied to you.”
“
But why?”
“
Because I was playing hard to get. To make you want me much more. And it worked, didn't it? But I can't do it any longer. God knows why I love you so much, my mind is saying don't, but I can't help it, I just can't.”
I am completely and wondrously gobsmacked and my heart is about to burst with joy. I feel sick with happiness and wildly disorientated, shocked with love, and it's the weirdest sensation ever. I'm shaking all over uncontrollably. If a hundred angels appeared in front of me right now and started singing 'Hallelujah' I couldn't be any more shocked or surprised. I hold her hand and slip my shaky fingers between hers.
“Fuck, please don't play games like that ever again. I've been in complete agony over you. It's been hell.”
“
I know. If it's any consolation I've been feeling the same way. I'm sorry.”
“
Well this is a turn around in my life. Suddenly I'm deliriously happy and all wibbly wobbly inside.”
“
You know, your rose made me cry.”
“
Did it really?”
“
Mmmm, no one has ever given me anything that lovely before, I was so touched, deep inside.”
“
Would you have liked a bigger bunch?”
For future reference...
“
I do love big bunches of flowers, but that one was so special to me.” She kisses me on the nose and eyes and my heart swells in my chest like a big pink heart shaped balloon. “I won't share you. With anyone. You'd better get used to that because I'll fucking kill you if you so much as think of anyone else. So help me God, I will.”
“
And if you even accidentally look at another guy, I'll kill you too.”
“
As if I would... Now kiss the hell out of me. But no more than that tonight, okay. Let's wait for the right moment for the other stuff.”
“
And you can rub my head again. I love it.”
Her mouth touches mine, and I don't really know what happened for a while after that. It was a wild blur of heat and tongues and probing hands. My clothes are still on and so are hers, so it didn't go too far. My hands are buried in her masses of hair. I think I've knotted it over and over in a thousand tangles the amount of times I've twisted it and wrapped it around my hands. And now she knows my weak spot for head rubbing. I don't think I've ever been as thoroughly head rubbed and hair tugged. I'm all groaned out. Blissfully head fucked to paradise and back. I kiss her ear again and again, breathing into it, sucking and licking it until I hear that sound I want from her, the cutest little whimper of pure pleasure that makes my heart fly away.
“You taste like pure heaven.”
“
What does pure heaven taste like exactly?”
“
It's indescribable. Every lovely taste there is all rolled into one.”
“
Better than vintage Rose wine?”
“
Much better than that.”
“
I must be pretty tasty then.”
“
Oh you are... And I haven't got to taste the best part of you yet.”
“
And tonight you won't.”
But I must. The thought has entered my head and I need to taste her... now.
If I'm fast enough...
Before she can react, I plunge my hand between her legs, dipping beneath her panties and slipping my finger deep inside her divine wet softness with a groan and a deep, deep breath. A wave of heated desire rushes through my whole body.
I want and need so much more. Of her. Of this...
She gasps in surprise, clutches at my wrist and squirms against me as I withdraw it. Then she watches wide eyed and fascinated as I bring it up to my mouth and slowly start to lick it. My eyes close as she hits my taste buds.
“
That is
so
erotic.” She murmurs hazily.
“
Mmmm, purest heaven.”
I'm so, so in love.
My eyes are rolling back in my head as my imagination goes deep south... I can't wait for the whole tongue full... I really can't... I crave the taste of her so much. I want to smell her on me, everywhere... All over my face, every part of my hands. I want to tongue worship her body, lick every beautiful square inch and spend hours between her legs. She tastes so fucking delicious.
“
Let's get back to kissing, shall we, hmmm?”
“
I'd rather move on to the in between your legs stage.”
“
No, stop right now. It's not the right moment.”
“
I don't want to stop. What's this 'right moment' supposed to mean anyway, what's wrong with now?”
“
Josh, please... No. Not like this, after our sweet little love hug and kiss in my bed ... I want our first time to be wild and wonderful and more spontaneous. I've imagined so many times what it would be like if we got together and it's much hotter than this... You know... You drag me off somewhere we shouldn't be and fuck me in a mad frenzy up the wall, ripping my clothes off on the floor, screwing me senseless and then throwing me face down on a table and doing me again as if you're insatiable and too obsessed with me to stop. That's the kind of experience I want. Take me anytime, anywhere, anyhow. But I want to remember it forever as being amazing and animal. The wild sex of my dreams with you...”
Holy fuck... have I struck gold here or what? I've won the Miss Sex Fantasy lotto... Thank you dear God...
“Come out with me tomorrow. I get the idea.” My mind is running riot with possibilities for powerful, hot and wild sex situations.
“
Shall I ask Jordan to come in?”
“
Yeah, you do that... From seven till midnight. And make sure you wear a skirt and those kinky strappy shoes of yours, because they feature in a lot of my ideas.”
“
Why, do you have a shoe fetish or something?” She asks me breathily, staring wide eyed and curiously.
“
No, not a fetish exactly, more of a fantasy... You're naked, wearing your sexy biker girl shoes, wrapped around my waist or my neck or anywhere you like, those big black high heels digging in my ass and scraping down my legs real hard.”
“
God, you're turning me on even more... I think I just had a hot flash over.”
“
Mmmm, you wait until tomorrow, you'll be a little ball of flames.”
“
I'm never going to go to sleep tonight.”
“
Neither am I. Fancy some more naughty talk? We can get as dirty as you like.”
“
Do I? My turn now... Are you ready?”
“
Go for it baby... I'm all ears.”
“
I'd like to cover you in thick strawberry smoothie, rub it in for ages until you're sticking to my hands, and then spend all night licking it off.” She licks up my neck in a zig zag to give me a taster...
Fuck, I want to eat her...
And suddenly I love her even more, if that's possible. I have the strongest feeling Eden and I are going to get on very well in the bedroom sense.
“Honey, that sounds
so
good, do you have any smoothies in the fridge right now?”
“
No.”
“
What about yoghurt?”
“
No Josh.”
“
Custard?”
“
NO, stop it.”
“
Oh well, I have my own little strawberries and cream fantasy you know... wanna hear it...?”