“You should’ve told me. We’ve made plans to help you, but they’re useless if you keep secrets. It’s not only your life at stake in this. Your family, my family. We’re all in danger.”
Regret instantly filled me. A lifetime of taking care of myself had overpowered common sense. I sat beside him, not quite touching him. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking.”
“You were thinking you could take care of everyone and everything. You weren’t thinking about what we’d all do if something happened to you. Do you have a death wish?”
“No! I knew you would’ve called if you thought I was in danger from your friends.”
Asher’s hands hung limply between his knees, and he gazed at me with bleak eyes. “They’re not the only threat out there. What will it take for you to understand? If something happens to you, there’s no coming back from this for me.”
Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes, and I wished I could cry for once. Words always seemed to fail me when it came to Asher. Years of being told I wasn’t good enough had worn me down, and I didn’t know how to tell him that I felt the same way.
We’d always communicated best when he heard my thoughts. Acting on instinct, I scooted across the couch to sit on Asher’s lap, pressing my nose against his neck. After a long moment, he wrapped one hand around my bare feet to warm them and the other around my shoulder to secure me against his chest.
My fingers rasped against the whiskers darkening his jaw. “I’m sorry. I can’t seem to get the words out. To tell you what I feel. I wish you knew.”
His chin rubbed against the top of my head, and he sighed.
On impulse, I looked up into his tired eyes and asked, “Asher, do you trust me?”
“Of course.”
“Keep your guard lowered.”
He frowned. “Why?”
“Please.”
He stared down at me for a long moment, and finally nodded. My hand curved to his cheek, and I focused all my energy on him. The idea had occurred to me sometime after I’d managed to exert my power on Lottie, allowing her to feel Gabe. That day, there’d been no side effects to what I’d done, and I guessed it was because I hadn’t truly healed her. The sensation had been temporary, lasting only as long as Gabe held my hand. I’d wondered ever since if I could do the same thing for Asher. My powers had worked with his siblings when my intense desire to help them had kicked in. I hoped it worked the same way a second time and concentrated on how I knew he missed the scent of the sea and the world around him.
“Remy? What are you—” His words cut off abruptly, and he inhaled a deep breath. “Tell me I’m not imagining this.”
“Tell me what you’re experiencing.”
His eyes stayed closed as he moved his head from side to side, trying to take in everything at once. “Flowers. Wildflowers, though, not roses like my house. Earth. Sea air. I can smell.” His eyes opened, and he looked around the room, spying the vase of flowers on the side table. A wide smile lit up his face. “I can smell!”
Suddenly, Asher’s nose burrowed in my hair. I giggled when his breath tickled my neck, and he gave a loud sniff.
“Lemons and vanilla. Delicious enough to eat.” He nibbled at my neck, and I laughed again. He stilled and sat in silence, a peaceful calm settling on his face.
A minute later, he inhaled once more and dropped a kiss on my chin. “It’s fading. Suddenly, I’m the one without words.”
He turned his head abruptly as if listening to something in the distance. I waited a moment and finally heard it, too, about twenty seconds later. A car was pulling into the drive. Ben and Laura were home, and explanations would be required.
With a great deal of reluctance, I scrambled to my feet and whispered one thought.
I love you
.
He reached for my hand and intertwined his fingers with mine. “One day I hope to hear you say that out loud.” When I opened my mouth to speak, his fingers settled on my lips. “No. Not now. When you say it, it should be because you want to say it, not because I want to hear it. I’ve waited for you a long time. I can wait until you’re ready.”
I hadn’t said “I love you” to anyone since I was a child. The last person I’d said it to was Anna. I hoped Asher was right that someday I could tell him what I felt without my vocal cords freezing up. Letting down my mental shield was far easier than breaking down the walls around my heart.
C
HAPTER
T
WENTY-FIVE
B
en took me to the BMV the next morning to get my license. Throughout the night, the calls had continued to our house from various pay phones in the area. Ben had finally taken the phone off the hook until morning when he’d changed our number. An alarm system would also be installed right away.
Trying to set aside my worry, I passed both the written and driving tests with flying colors. A proud Ben caught my attention when he waved the keys to my Mustang under my nose. He grinned with delight. “Ready to take your car for a celebratory spin?”
“Oh, yeah!” Barely containing my excitement, I snatched the keys out of his hand. He laughed and watched as I unlocked the driver’s door. He made no move to join me, and I raised a brow at him.
“What’re you waiting for, old man? Scared to get in a car with me now that I have my license?”
My father snorted and almost ran to the passenger door. I realized he’d been waiting for an invitation. When we were seated, I started the car and we listened with reverence to the roar of the engine. With care, I backed the Mustang out of the driveway and onto the road. My fear that I would stall the car faded when I shifted smoothly from first to second gear. Ben grinned at me, and I knew he understood what discipline it took not to stomp on the gas to see what my baby could do.
Avoiding Fort Rowden, I headed out of town. We rolled down the windows and turned up the radio. It didn’t matter that the air was freezing cold or that the music was Ben’s favorite—the Bee Gees—and he shamelessly sang along at the top of his lungs in falsetto. What mattered was that this moment couldn’t be more perfect, and I wished I could tell Ben how I felt.
My heart tripped over the words coming out of my mouth, but I did the best I could. “The car is unbelievable! Thanks, Dad.”
Ben cleared his throat as if a sudden lump had formed. “You deserve it. I love you, Remy.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Ben’s lips tip into a grin that mirrored my own.
Later, Gabe acted irritable when he couldn’t get a rise out of me. Spencer and Miranda had suspected nothing. In fact, they knew nothing about my existence. Still, their visit had made our danger a reality. Despite this, my euphoric mood couldn’t be affected by a blow to the ribs.
Gabe growled when I smiled up at him from the mat where he’d knocked me flat.
“Oh, quit being such a bully and help me up,” I coaxed him. He stalked away, cursing me as he went.
Asher rolled his eyes at me in warning to stop poking at his brother. “Why don’t we call it quits for the day? You’re not concentrating.”
I shrugged as he helped me to my feet, holding my hand in his. “Can’t help it. The world is suddenly not such a bad place.” A wicked idea formed, and I glanced between him and the impractical vase of flowers Lottie always put in the gym because she liked the way they looked. “Things are coming up roses.”
At the lame joke, I dropped my guard and concentrated as I had the night before. His mouth dropped open, and I knew he smelled the roses in the room.
Wrapped in each other, neither of us saw Gabe coming. He launched himself at Asher with a force that sent them both flying backwards. Asher’s head hit the wall with a loud
crack
. With a fist grasping Asher’s shirt, Gabe held him in place with predatory strength and glared back at me over his shoulder.
“Do you think this is a game, Healer? Do you want to watch my brother die at the hands of those coming for you? Maybe I should take care of him now so no one else is hurt because of your carelessness. Better Asher than the whole family, right?”
I didn’t think or plan my next move. To hurt Gabe by touching him might mean transferring that pain to Asher if I touched him, too. With cold fury, I gathered my energy and sent it at Gabe across ten feet of space. Red sparks lit, and his face turned white when I snapped a bone in his forearm.
It took real effort to control my rage, but I managed to cut off my energy and put my defenses in place. Asher and Gabe both dropped to the floor staring at me, and the edge of fear on their faces twisted a knife in my gut. I turned to find a furious Lottie standing behind me. I ignored her and went to kneel at Gabe’s hip.
“Can I touch you?”
He gave a hesitant nod, and I placed a hand on his broken arm. He winced, but didn’t move. Several minutes later, when the green sparks had faded, he stretched the arm with relief while mine throbbed. I scanned myself and was relieved when I healed my broken arm without Asher’s help.
Gabe stood and regarded me with approval. “Good work today, Remy. You may not be completely useless, after all.”
It was the first time Asher’s brother had called me by my name since I’d learned he was a Protector.
He ignored my shock and turned to Asher, who had climbed to his feet, uninjured. “Sorry, bro, but it was necessary. Your girl has a hair trigger where you’re concerned. You might want to have a talk with her. I don’t think she grasps that you’re the Protector.” His head tilted and he glanced around, slightly bemused. “I think I’m losing it. I could’ve sworn I smelled roses in here.”
I looked anywhere but at Asher, not wanting to see his fear again. My gaze landed on Lottie. I’d had little interaction with her since I’d begun training at the Blackwells’. She left or holed up in her room to avoid me, and I couldn’t blame her for hating me when I’d injured her brother.
She took a threatening step forward. “Why don’t you leave, Healer? Haven’t you done enough harm for one day?”
Gabe placed a restraining hand on her shoulder. “Enough, Charlotte. I provoked her. She protected Asher, the same as you would.”
Lottie knocked her brother’s hand away and departed with another glower in my direction. “Don’t compare me to
her
.
I
would never do anything to put my family in danger.”
Gabe and Asher remained in the gym, and their stares weighed on me. Angry now, I wanted to go home to get away from Asher and the look of fear that I’d seen on his face.
“Damn it, Remy! I wasn’t afraid of you.”
Reinforcing my shield, I spared him a disdainful look. “Right. Could’ve fooled me.” He betrayed me to think I could hurt him. Even Gabe knew I’d do anything to protect Asher.
“I didn’t betray you!” He leaned down to help me up and ground his teeth when I ignored his outstretched hand.
“Get out of my head, Asher!”
His arms crossed over his chest, and he glared down at me. “Try turning down the volume. It’s hard to ignore you when you’re shouting.”
If I didn’t leave, I’d end up punching him in his handsome face. I rose to my feet too quickly and suffered a bout of light-headedness that had me swaying. The floor rose up to meet me until Gabe steadied me with a hand on my shoulder.
Asher rushed over in concern, but I glowered at him until he backed off. He didn’t seem upset at my rejection, but shot me a triumphant glance. “You know, threats strung with compliments aren’t very effective.”
I stared at him in confusion until I realized the jerk had heard me thinking he was handsome. With a mean smile, I pictured Gabe’s beautiful face and his bracing hand, filling my mind with him until Asher would see nothing else. Asher’s smug look faded into a dark scowl, and he stepped forward with his hands in fists at his side.
Gabe heard only one side of our conversation, but he’d got the gist. He steered me away from an enraged Asher. “Hey, focus.” He sighed when we didn’t say anything.
“Either of you notice how easy it was for me to pin Asher?”
It occurred to me that it shouldn’t have been possible. Asher should have heard him coming, unless . . . We both turned to stare at Gabe, and he confirmed what I’d been thinking for some time. “He’s becoming human.”
Gabe’s expression hardened, and he gripped my arm with a new desperation. I felt a tiny shiver of fear, knowing he could kill me before I could choke out a scream. “Don’t lie to me, Healer. Are you the cure?”
My eyes met Asher’s. He looked terrified. As if he were scared to believe.
“Yes,” I finally answered. “I think I am.”
We moved to the garden, and Gabe served tea like we were having an ordinary conversation about everyday matters. He had a million questions, and I couldn’t answer any of them. I didn’t know why I’d been able to attack Gabe without touching him. I didn’t know what set me apart from other Healers. My mother had been powerless, and I sensed nothing different about my father, aside from his irregular heartbeat. What else could there be? Gabe left me alone with Asher, his dissatisfaction evident.
I tried to gauge Asher’s mood as he sat in the lounge chair next to me. He hadn’t said anything while Gabe quizzed me. When he lifted a teacup to his lips to take a sip, I impulsively directed my energy at him, trying to use my power without touch. Asher’s lips curved on the rim of the delicate china, and I knew he’d tasted the tea.
“Remy,” he sighed.
Rising, I went to curl up next to him on his chair, my head resting on his shoulder so I could see his face. “What are you thinking?”
He dropped a kiss on my nose. “I’m frightened about what happens if others discover your abilities,
mo chridhe
.”
I’d never heard the endearment and wondered what it meant. My heart flipped at the tenderness in his eyes, and I smoothed the worry lines on his forehead. “And what will you do if you’re too human to protect me?”
Asher’s jaw worked as he turned to study the rose garden in the distance. “It’s happening when you’re not around now,” he admitted. “This morning I bumped into Lottie in the kitchen, and I felt her. A few minutes ago, I smelled the ocean. And earlier, I was too busy smelling roses to hear Gabe coming. What if I can’t keep you safe?”
“Aren’t you the one who’s been trying to convince me that we’re in this together? We keep each other safe, you idiot.”
He finally smiled. “You say the sweetest things to me.”
Asher’s eyes fixed on my curved mouth. He pulled me to my feet, and I leaned into him. He put his hands up, palms facing me, and I rested mine flat against them. My smaller hands looked fragile next to his, and the heat I always felt when we touched spread from our hands through my body like tiny prickles of fire.
A peaceful serenity settled over me. Suddenly, the fear disappeared as if it had never been, and the words came with ease.
“I love you, Asher.”
His guard slipped, and he stared at me with an intensity that crackled in the air between us. “Say it again.”
“I love you.”
His fingers wove through mine, using them to drag me closer, and he kissed me. My thoughts shattered in a million different directions, and then coalesced into one word—
Asher
. His lips softened against mine. The heat radiating from his hands intensified, and I clutched him tighter until my hands began to tingle.
“Remy?” Something in his tone alerted me.
We pulled away and stared down in awe. Small sparks of green light shot from our joined hands, dancing along both his skin and mine. For the first time, they felt . . . pleasant and warm. It reminded me of the sparklers children played with on the Fourth of July, drawing lazy circles in the sky with traces of light.
Asher smiled, obviously experiencing the same sensation. “This is new,” he said, softly.
“But kind of cool, huh? Any pain?” My own voice sounded reverent.
“None. It’s . . . nice.”
We watched in silence as the flickers of light made the cool night air glow. Too soon the flames faded away.
“Let’s do it again,” I said.
Asher shook his head. “I don’t think so. I didn’t notice it before, but I should’ve. Your humming is fading. Are you feeling okay?”
Now that I thought about it, I hadn’t been feeling normal since I’d used my power on Gabe. My body felt tired and achy, as if I’d run ten miles.
Asher studied me with concern. “You have a tiny bruise on your neck where Gabe clipped you. Can you heal it?”
I tried to gather my energy. Sparks sizzled from the tips of my fingers, but nothing more happened. “I think I shorted out my powers when I hurt Gabe and healed my arm. Otherwise, I feel fine.”
I punctuated the statement with a sneeze. Asher put a hand to my forehead and grimaced. “You’re burning up.”
“That’s you. Your skin is always hot.” My voice sounded grouchy to my own ears.
He smiled. “No,
mo chridhe
. It’s definitely you. How long has it been since you had the flu?”
“I haven’t been sick since I got my powers.” I sneezed again.
“I think I’d better get you home. You need to get some rest.”
I protested all the way home. It was not possible that I was sick. I couldn’t be coming down with something, not when I couldn’t heal myself. I was still objecting when Ben dosed me with flu medication and ordered me to bed. I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow, dreaming about sparklers and what
mo chridhe
might mean.